Sunday, November 30, 2008

Trimming the tree (with OCD)

Tonight I realized that we had so many things to do this week that if we didn't get the Christmas tree put up now, it would be a while before we could get to it. (and if we wait too long, we run the risk of "Why bother putting it up now, we'll just need to take it down in a week")

The first thing we had to do was to get the tree upstairs. I went to the closet under the stairs in the basement to get the large box with the tree along with all the boxes full of Christmas decorations.
What I found was all of the kids Halloween costumes for the last two years, tossed in the closet on top of all of the Christmas stuff.
The costumes are supposed to be put away nicely on the top shelves of the kids closets, not dumped conveniently in the storage closet under the stairs.

I yelled politely called to the children to have them put the costumes in their proper places.
Eventually this was done and we were able to reach all of the Christmas decorations. CJ and Aaron carried the heavy box with the tree in it up the stairs arguing humming Christmas tunes as they went.

DH got the tree out of the box and put it together. I bent the tree branches causing them to return back into their previously not smooshed state as they were before the tree was stuffed into the box last February 11December 31.

The children helped me fix the branches because I forced them to they like the tree to look nice and uniform too.
Next we put on the lights. I explained to the children that they were not to mess with the little box on the lights that controls the speed of the blinking. I like the slow glow setting. It calms me.
Every year, without fail, one of the kids will set that puppy to the tracer lights and it makes me dizzy and nauseous.

Next, we started to decorate the tree.

Now the single most important thing that everyone must remember is;

E.S.O.

Evenly. Spaced. Ornaments.

One thing that drives me batty is when there are a bunch of ornaments on the same branch, or worse than that, three of the same ornament within inches of each other.

THIS JUST SHOULD NOT HAPPEN!

Evenly spaced, people. Evenly spaced.

I let the kids put all of the ornaments on the tree themselves. CJ is now taller than me, so he can reach all of the higher branches.
I sat on the couch and watched as they completely ignored the ESO rule merrily decorated the tree.
I kept telling them EVENLY SPACED! REMEMBER THEY NEED TO BE EVENLY SPACED!! offered suggestions of where to put the ornaments, and the children basically ignored me did a great job of decorating the tree.
It was then that I got a stabbing pain in my eye. Someone had sped up the blinking of the lights. I growled inquired as to who might have adjusted the lights, after I had made it known to everyone in the room that I would have a coniption if they touched the light control box kindly requested that they leave it alone.
One of my darling children apparently didn't listen to me the first time explained that they had misunderstood and just thought that I didn't want them moving the control box from it's original spot.
We got the lights fixed, and redistributed the 12 ornaments that Max had put on a single branch on the backside of the tree where I couldn't see it.
It was finally finished, and it was lovely!

OK, seriously, they really did do a great job!





We even got the outside lights put up yesterday.

Yay us!




This concludes my last post for NaBloPoMo, or as I prefer to call it "NaBloPowhatwasIthinkingwhenIdecidedtodothisMo"

I'll be back tomorrow.
Or not.
I might take a week off.
Or not.
Or I might just wait until I actually have something interesting to write about.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Favorite books

I just read posts by b and Compulsive Writer. They posted photos of themselves when they were little and talked about their favorite books when they were that age.

Here's mine.



Note the fetching ensemble that I'm wearing. Nothing says high fashion as much as a pantsuit with huge, mismatched flowers all over it. Also check out that really cool bean bag. We loved that thing! Right up to the time when somebody (probably my brother because I would never have done this) unzipped the bag and let out a bunch of the little styrofoam "beans" that were full of static electricity and stuck all over everything. My mom was vacuuming those puppies up for ages!
And check out that orange carpet............

I was five and had just started kindergarten.
At that time I was a big fan of Dr. Seuss. I had several of his books memorized.
"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish..........."

That year I remember my kindergarten teacher taking us to the library to check out books. There was one particular book that I checked out on several occasions. It was about a little Japanese girl. What I remember most about the book was how beautiful the illustrations were. And my mom asking me to please choose a different book next time because she was tired of reading that one to me.

A funny thing that happened that year - Our kindergarten class was working silently in our programmed readers, and one of the pages had the word "bottom" on it. We snickered, whispered and giggled because of the word "bottom."

As I got older, I was reading constantly. I loved the Ramona series by Beverly Cleary, and also the Little House series.
Eventually I read Nancy Drew, The Hardy boys and Encyclopedia Brown.

My kids are now reading and enjoying these same books.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Shopping :OP

I woke up late this morning (might have had something to do with me hitting the snooze button about 9 times) so I didn't get to the stores early.
There were a few things that I still wanted to get, so I finally got to Wal Mart at about 10:30. The parking lot was only about half full, and the store didn't feel all that crowded (with the exception of around the display where they were selling DVD movies for $2.00)

Everything I went for was so picked over that I didn't buy anything.

I should have slept in longer.

When I got home, Aaron handed me a note with his Christmas list on it. He only wants one thing.







Do you know what a Shark VX3 is?

Is it a really cool remote control car?


No.


Is it a new skateboard?


No.


Is it a bike?


No.




Do you want to know what it is?



This.











Yes, he's serious.


.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

To shop or not to shop, that is the question

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!

Our dinner was great! Every year we get together with a ton of family. We eat at the church building so the kids can run and play in the gym and work off their excess energy after dinner.

Max only ate a roll.

I put samples of several things on his plate that I thought he might like, but he only wanted the roll. He wouldn't even try some of grandma's sweet potatoes (which by the way are FABULOUS! in a "you won't need dessert after you eat these" sort of way)

When Max got thirsty, he handed me his glass and said "Please I can have some more H2O?"
Then he drank some and said "Why is it also called H2O?"
I answered "Because it's two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen."
Max says "Oh. OK."

We took the long route home because Max started rubbing his eyes and we wanted him to take a nap. (However now at 10:30 p.m, I feel that allowing him to nap might not have been a good idea because at this very moment, Max is wide awake, singing a very energetic rendition of the Hokey Pokey)
This is a problem because I want to go to bed. I'm actually considering going shopping in the morning.

Because I'm crazy.

And Wal Mart is selling jeans for $8.00 a pair. ($4.00 for Max sized jeans)

The big question is, just how much is my sleep worth to me?
Or the bigger question, how much will my sleep be worth to me tomorrow morning when my alarm goes off?
Or the even bigger question, will shopping in the morning give me something really good to blog about tomorrow night?

Tune in tomorrow to find out what I decide to do!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

WOW! Look at the size of that turkey!





Yesterday was Max's preschool Thanksgiving feast. The kids sat down at the tables and were given plates full of good, healthy things such as broccoli, cauliflower, carrot and celery sticks, apple slices, mandarin oranges and olives.

Max doesn't believe in eating any of those things, so he didn't.


He did, however, do this.















"Look mom, I also did put these ahwibs on my fingers!"


Later today, when you're so full of turkey that you can't move, park yourself in front of the computer and play this.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Word Verification Wednesday! Week 4

It's time to play
DEFINE THE WORD VERIFICATION WORD!

If you haven't played before and you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, instructions, examples and rules can be found here.



And yes, the "no mocking" rule still applies.

Have fun!!! I can't wait to see what everyone comes up with this week.

Monday, November 24, 2008

A few days ago, I asked everyone to ask me a question. Here are my answers to those questions.

Julie AKA the Boob Nazi asked me to give my life story, Where I'm from, where I grew up and what I was like as a child.
I'm from around here, grew up in the same place and I was a perfect child.
Just ask my mom.
(For the last 20 years I've been telling my mom that I was a perfect child, and I think that she is finally starting to remember it that way)

Busty Larue asked - If there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be and why?
I would love to be more organized. Why do I want to be more organized, you ask?
One would only need to look around at the mess in my office to understand the why.
I would also like to be thinner. With good hair.

Now I have a question for Busty Larue. Are you related to this lady?

Suburban correspondent asked - What's a meet-and-greet?
Jo did a fine job of answering this question in her comment, so I will just copy it here.

"We all get together at a restaurant, laugh, giggle like crazy people, make the people in the next booth angry with our merriment, delight the other people in the booth behind us with our hijinks, eat chacon and in general have a good time."

Yes, that pretty much sums it up. If we can cause the annoyed people at the next booth to ask to be moved to a different table, it's even better.

Jillene asked - If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I would go someplace warm.
With internet access.
And chocolate covered macadamia nuts.
Seriously, it's getting cold here, and I just can't seem to get my feet warm!

Jessica G. asked - So I want to know is do you think God was joking when he first introduced the concept of natural childbirth?
Yes. But then he created the epidural, and we saw that it was good.

Those were all of the questions that were in the comments, however, when I checked my stat counter, I found several other questions waiting for me.
These were actual keywords used in Google search which led people to my blog.

#1. When potty training, should you wash the wet underwear and clothes in washer?

The answer is yes. Seriously, where else would you wash them? The dishwasher?



#2. How do you un potty train a teenager?

My answer, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO?
I've spent years of my life potty training my kids. We finally have everyone out of diapers, why, Why, WHY would I want to undo that????


#3. Can dirty dishes left on the kitchen sink make you sick?

Yes. They make me sick every day, along with the dirty dishes left on the kitchen table and the dirty dishes left in the kitchen sink and the dirty dishes that I sometimes find under the couch..................
Dirty dishes left all over the house can sometimes get you grounded or cause your video game privileges to be taken away too.


There you have it, the answers to all of your questions. (or at least 8 of them)

Be sure to come back tomorrow for WORD VERIFICATION WEDNESDAY!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Imaginations run wild and the power of a cookie

A few nights ago as I was getting Max ready for bed, he started wincing and grabbed his elbow. He was quite agitated and kept looking at his bedroom door and saying "Oh no! Oh no!"

Me: "What's wrong Max?"
Max: "The monsters are also
getting me!"
Me: "Max, there aren't any monsters here."
Max: "Yes there are! Big scary monsters!"
Me: "What color are they?"
Max: "Purple!"
Me: "Well then you don't need to worry, purple monsters are nice, it's the green monsters that are mean."
Max: "THEY'RE GREEN! THEY'RE GREEN! THEY'RE ALSO GREEN!"

I reach into my pocket, take out an imaginary can of monster repellent and hand it to Max.
"Here Max, spray this on the monsters and they will go away."

Max has had the monster repellent in his pocket for the last few days. Periodically we will hear "Psssssssssssss" as Max is spraying the imaginary monster repellent on the monsters.
Or on his siblings if thy start to bug him too much.

Tonight as I was helping Max into his pajamas, the monsters returned.

Max: "They're getting me! They're getting me! The monsters are also getting me! Now they're also getting our garbage! The monsters are getting into our garbage cans! The monsters are eating our garbage!"
Me: "Well Max, if they get in those big cans and start eating our garbage, the lids will close on them and they won't be able to get out, then Tuesday on garbage day the garbage truck will come and take away the monsters and they will never bother you again."
Max: "Will the green monsters go in the recycle can and will the purple monsters also go in the blue garbage can?"

I told him yes because the recycle can sounded like an appropriate place for the "green" monster.

Then Max said "What day is it today? Is it also Saturday?"
I decide to tease him a bit and I say "No, I think it's Valentines day."
Max: "No, it's also Saturday."
Me: "Or maybe it's President's day."
Max: "NO! It's Saturday!"
Me: "Or possibly St. Patrick's day?"
Max: "NO! It's also SAT. UR. DAY!"
Me: "Memorial day, that's it, I'm pretty sure it's Memorial day."
Max: "NO! With it not also be that! School is closed today! It's Saturday!"
Me: "School IS closed on Memorial Day. I'm pretty sure it's Memorial day."

I could tell I was about to cross the line as Max started to say "NO! IT ALSO IS SATURDAY!"

I said "Hey Max, do you want a cookie?"

Max stops for a moment, immediately calms down and says "OK."

Chocolate chip cookies. The bringer of peace.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Does anyone have a toothpick?

I just got back from the Meet-n-greet. It was fun to visit with some old friends and meet some new ones.
I even got to try some chacon.

Mmmmmm! Chocolate covered bacon! With almonds on top!

The verdict? Not bad. However, if you ever get the chance to eat any chacon, I would recommend having some dental floss nearby.

I brought my camera so I could take pictures that I could post tonight. Unfortunately, I forgot that I brought it so I didn't take any pictures, and I refuse to post the picture that I accidentally took of my chin yesterday. I was turning the camera around trying to figure out how to get the memory stick out and somehow pushed the button and took a picture (I can't seem to get it deleted from my camera. It's still there, mocking me with it's hideousness)

Since I'm running out of ideas of things to write for NaBloPoMo, I've decided to do something completely unoriginal by copying some other, more original bloggers and have you ask me questions.

What do you want to know about me?

Leave a comment and ask me a question. I'll answer in tomorrow's post. (unless I can think of something better to write about)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sad Max

Today I heard Max crying in the other room.
It wasn't the "I'm going to scream until I get my way" type of crying. He was very upset and sounded like he needed his mommy.

I went into the other room to see what was causing such distress for my little guy and what I saw was CJ and Aaron playing "keep away" with Max.

What was it that they were "keeping away" from him? you might ask.

High above Max's head well beyond his reach, his darling brothers were playing keep away with a set of imaginary keys.

Apparently these were Max's keys and CJ had taken them away from him and he was VERY sad.

I stepped in and told CJ to give the keys back to Max.

Do you want to guess what CJ did? He threw the (imaginary) keys across the room where Max couldn't reach them.

Max sobbed.

I've been through this before. My kids fight over imaginary objects.

But now, I have an idea!

If they have so much fun playing with and fighting over things that don't really exist, then they will love it when they get all of those imaginary presents for Christmas!

Merry Christmas CJ! Here's an imaginary iPod! And look at this really cool imaginary iPhone!
And just "imagine" all of the fun you will have with this imaginary Mac Book!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Tantrum of the day

Alternate post title - Guess who didn't get a nap?

Today one of the kids was making toast.
It smelled good, so I put a slice in the toaster for myself.
Max then decided that he needed an Eggo waffle.

Now.

I told him that he needed to wait for my toast to pop up, and so then he waited.

Impatiently.

As soon as my toast was done, I slid his step stool over by the counter so he could put the waffle in the toaster himself. (Because if we have the nerve to do something that Max wants to do by himself, then Max will freak out, undo whatever was done and then do it again himself. I've just found it easier to avoid the battles by planning ahead)

As Max went to put his waffle in the toaster he says;

"IT'S HOT! THE TOASTER IS HOT! YOU ALSO NEED TO MAKE IT COLD! I ALSO NOT CAN PUT MY WAFFLE IN THERE WHEN IT'S HOT!

MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
(said while jumping up and down)

I told him that he could still put the waffle in the toaster even if it was hot.

"NO! I ALSO NOT CAN PUT IT IN UNTIL IT'S COLDER!"

I finish buttering my toast and start to walk away.

Max follows.

"MAKE IT COLDER! IT'S ALSO TOO HOT! WITH I NOT CAN PUT MY WAFFLE IN THERE WHEN IT'S HOT."

Now he's pulling on my shirt.

"PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSEEE!!"

(Max is always polite, even when he's screaming at the top of his lungs)

I tell him "No, Max, there's nothing I can do to make it cool off faster. Why don't you go blow on it the way you do with your mac n cheese to cool it off"

"I NOT CAN DO THAT!!"

"Max, it's been a few minutes, I bet the toaster has cooled off by now. Lets go put your waffle in it."

Max calmed down a bit, stepped up on the stool and stared at the toaster.

"It's not colder. It's still hot."

I felt the toaster. It was slightly warm but definitely not hot. I told him to go ahead and put the waffle in the toaster.
The poor frozen waffle was quite thawed by now. And smashed too.

Max put the waffle in and then felt the top of the toaster with his finger.

"IT NOT DID COOL OFF!! IT'S STILL HOT! MAKE IT COLDER! MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!"

Then he took the waffle out of the toaster and waved it in my direction. It flopped back and forth as he said

"MAKE IT COLDER!!!"

I asked him if he wanted me to put the waffle in but he explained that he needed to do it himself.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I ALSO NEED TO PUT THE WAFFLE IN THE TOASTER!!!"

Right then I got a phone call from Aaron's Cub scout leader. She wanted to remind me that I had signed up to bring the treats for pack meeting next week and let me know that we should plan for about 60-65 people.............

And the whole time she was talking and I was trying to listen to her, all I could really hear was


MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!

Somehow, CJ was able to convince him to let him put the waffle in. After it popped up, Max brought the waffle to me "It's hot! It's hot! It's hot!.........I need my plate. I need my plate I need my.............NOT THAT ONE, I WANTED THE YELLOW PLATE!"

After he sat down and ate his waffle, his mood improved dramatically.

I can't wait until tomorrow. I've been trying to think of a way to convince him that he can't eat a waffle because they are all gone.

He just ate the last one.

I just found out that we're out of milk too. It's going to be a fun morning.

Seriously, this tantrum was almost as strange as time he was yelling at the toilet because it wasn't flushing fast enough.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Word Verification Wednesday!

Yes kids, It's that time of week again!

Word Verification Wednesday!!

It's time to give definitions to those strange jumbled letters that some of us mean bloggers make you all type before leaving a comment!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here and here and be sure to read the comments.

This week, Damama came up with a new category of defining the words which she calls a Max-ism. For example;

W.V.: LATSTIC - Max-ism: Also my big boy underwares have latstic in them.

Bonus points to anyone who can come up with a Max-ism. The word "also" must be used in the definition/sentence.

Please remember that this is not a competition, but an exhibition. Please, no wagering.
(bonus points to anyone who can tell me where that was from. If you know, you're probably as tired as I am)

The rules are still the same.

1. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined. Please keep in mind that my kids read my blog.
2. You must use the ACTUAL word, no altering the word (unless it makes it funnier, then it's OK)
But then again, if you changed the word, how would anyone know? We'll just have to use the honor system for this one. OK?
(You can, however, refresh the page as many times as you want to get a word that you like.)
3. And yes Jo, there is still no mocking of the other contestants. (or me)

All of you have given some really funny and well thought out definitions, and for that, I thank you!


There you have it kids!

Go forth and define!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

And now for the rest of the story.........

About 5 years ago, CJ had put a toothpick in his pocket and it somehow jabbed into his leg. He didn't bother telling us about it until several days later when it had become quite infected.

DH took him to the doctor, who upon closer examination, discovered a chunk of the toothpick still lodged in his leg.

The doctor removed the piece of toothpick and then used a special syringe with a large cup on the end to clean out his injury by flushing it with water and then put a band-aid on it and sent him home.

On their way home from the doctor, they stopped and picked up the antibiotic prescribed by the doctor.

As soon as they got home, CJ took his first dose of antibiotic, then went to his room.
A while later CJ came into the kitchen where I was fixing dinner.

He didn't look quite right. His face looked somewhat flushed, and upon closer examination, he had some sort of a rash on his cheek.

I didn't think much of it, and CJ got a snack then went back to his room.
A while later when we sat down to dinner, I looked at CJ again. Not only was the rash worse, but it had spread to the other side of his face, and there was a spot on his forehead and on his chin.

Since this rash had appeared and spread so quickly, we just assumed that it was caused by the antibiotic. We kept asking CJ if he was feeling OK, if he was having any trouble breathing or any other common symptoms of an allergic reaction to an antibiotic.

He just kept telling us that he felt fine. and other than the rash, he looked and acted just fine.
I then asked him if he had this rash anywhere else. He lifted up his shirt, and the rash was all over his stomach.
Now at this point I was way past concerned and bordering on panic. I was about to call the doctor, but asked CJ one more time if he had this rash anywhere else because I knew that the doctor would want to know this.

He slid up the leg of his shorts to show me the rash that was on his leg.


The rash had covered his leg. Big blotchy patches of red.



Then I noticed something peculiar about the rash. Around each blotch of red rash was a perfect red circle.


A circle the exact size of the cup on the end of the syringe.

Which he had just taken out of his pocket.


Yes, while I was freaking out, ready to take my son to the hospital for an allergic reaction to an antibiotic.................



My son was giving himself hickies on his face, tummy and legs with a syringe.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

OK! I'LL FINALLY DO A TAG!

Today I was going to post another song by Max.
Unfortunately, he fell asleep at the dinner table and was unavailable for us to bribe him with chocolate to make him sing.

So, instead of hearing that angelic little voice again, I'm going to do a tag!

Here it is, seven of my quirks. (and believe me, I had to think for hours to come up with these)

1. I put sugar on tomatoes. I didn't realize that this was strange until I got married and my husband told me it was strange. My entire family eats sliced tomatoes sprinkled with sugar. (now if you haven't tried it you should. Totally delicious!) I also put salt on apples and cantaloupe.

2. If I put something somewhere, it drives me  absolutely CRAZY if someone comes along and moves it. Seriously people! Don't be moving my things around! (Now that I think about it, that might explain some of Max's OCD like behavior.)

3. I love the smell of a diesel truck. My dad was a truck driver, and this reminds me of him.

4. I talk to myself in the car. I wasn't aware that I did this until Brielle pointed it out to me a few  weeks ago.  I've recently noticed Max doing this too. 
I have an uncle who talks to himself all the time. He said it was because he was the only intelligent conversation he could find.

5. I can never remember if I've closed the garage door, so I either drive around the block to make sure it's closed (it always is) or I keep asking the kids "Did I close it? Are you sure you closed it? Are you really sure? Did you actually see it go down, or are you just telling me that so I'll stop asking?"

6. I like liver.

7. I don't like to have any of my food touch on my plate. There are certain food categories that just shouldn't mix. I was fed from a divided plate as a child, and apparently I never got over it.

And there you have it, my very first tag!
I don't tag anyone, because really, I don't think people will actually do this unless they are seriously desperate for ideas to write about because for some reason they had this hair brained idea that they could do NaBloPoMo and actually post every day for an entire month and come up with something interesting to write about during that time.................

Or was that just me?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Santa. Fears, photos and phonies

Every year at this time I want to get a cute picture of my kids with Santa.
I think I've only had one good picture where all of my kids are smiling and look happy to be there.

When CJ was a baby, it was no problem. We just plopped him on Santa's lap, they snapped the picture and that was that. (He was only 3 months old)

The next year, he looked a little concerned, but the picture was different.

Two years later, Brielle was 9 months old and CJ was three.
Brielle is sitting nicely on Santa's lap and CJ is standing about 3 feet away, looking sideways at Santa with a look of confusion on his face.

Still, he never screamed.

The following year, CJ went eagerly up to Santa so he cold tell him what he wanted for Christmas. He hopped up on his lap, then I sat Brielle on his other knee, and she had a complete meltdown.
The girl in the elf costume behind the camera kept trying to get her to smile, but she just screamed louder.

And louder.

And the girl just kept trying. "Come on sweetie. Smile. Be a happy girl. Smile."

Brielle just screamed louder.

Finally I said "Just take the picture!"

Elf girl says "But she's not smiling."

I say "JUST HURRY AND TAKE THE PICTURE!!!"

I must have scared ditsy elf girl because she went ahead and snapped the picture.

Right as the picture was being taken, Brielle had lifted her arms straight above her head in an effort to escape from Santa by sliding out under his arm. Santa tightened his grip just in time to keep her from falling on the floor but unfortunately only caught her around the neck as she was sliding off his lap.

So,

What we got was a picture of CJ sitting very nicely on Santa's lap with a big smile on his face, while Brielle's face was beet red from screaming and from Santa's arm being practically around her throat.

(He wasn't really choking her, it just looked like it in the photo. She was fine, and has not seemed to have suffered any ill effects from the experience)

We didn't really have any unfortunate Santa photos for many years after that. (Aaron has never been afraid of Santa. Santa brings him toys, what's scary about that?)

Until last year.
We went to Disneyland and California Adventure during the first week of December. Santa was in California Adventure wearing bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.
I tried to sit Max on his lap and he screamed grabbed my hair with both hands and tried to climb up my face. (Max did that, not Santa)
Santa was really nice, he told Max that he could just stand in front of him, he didn't need to sit on his lap, and Mom could stand next to them, but Max wasn't buying it.
Instead of a cute picture of Max sitting on Santa's lap, we have a picture of me standing several feet away from Santa holding Max who looks terrified and is screaming at the top of his lungs while Santa is sitting on a surfboard giving us the "hang loose" sign.

Good times.

Today I was thinking about my experiences with Santa when I was a child.

Like the Santa at JC Penny's who had REALY bad breath. And black eyebrows. Seriously a Santa with black eyebrows and a white beard and hair.
And bad breath. He should have tried eating one of those candy canes that he was handing out. Really, it couldn't have made his breath any worse.

The most memorable one was when I was about 4. We were at our family's Christmas party, and I noticed that my great aunt and uncle snuck out the front door.
About ten minutes later, my aunt and Santa Clause walked IN the front door.

Together.

And Santa was wearing my uncle's boots.

So either Santa and my great aunt had tied up my great uncle with Christmas lights and Santa had stolen his boots,
or,
It was my great uncle dressed up as Santa.

All of my cousins were stampeding toward "Santa."
Me? I wasn't buying it.
So when it was my turn to sit on his lap and tell him what I wanted for Christmas I said "You're not Santa. You're uncle Ivan. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"
He just laughed, threw in a few "Ho, Ho, Ho"s and said "No, I really am Santa!" (Adding a few more "Ho, Ho, Ho"s)
"No" I said. "You are uncle Ivan. You sound like him and you're wearing his boots! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

You know how sometimes when you say or do something as a child that nobody lets you forget? A few years ago at a family reunion, my great uncle Ivan retold that story. (But I was right wasn't I? It really was him, and I knew it was him.) He said how I just kept repeating "I know who you are! I know who you are!"

At least I didn't lick all the dirt of of a bunch of twigs when we were camping like my cousin did when we were little. That's a story I enjoy telling to her kids..........


And to continue with the still a little early for Christmas theme of my post today, here is a way for you to save money on gifts this Christmas time.















Friday, November 14, 2008

How to spend $100 on a spool of thread

1. Have a sewing project that needs to be finished the next day.

2. Sit down at the sewing machine and discover that you are out of red thread.

3. Look at the clock. It says 9:02 p.m. The fabric stores have just closed.

4. That's OK, they sell thread at Wal Mart, so you get in the car and drive over there.

5. Go straight to the sewing department and get a spool of red thread.

7. Walk past the notions isle and remember that your seam ripper broke a few days ago so you pick up a new one.

8. Buy some pins too because one can never have too many pins.

9. As you are walking towards the checkout stand, get a call from your husband, who tells you that you're out of milk, and could you buy some more.

10. Go get a cart because you don't want to carry the cold jugs of milk around the store.

11. Walk past a display filled with cinnamon scented pine cones. Imagine how nice and festive they will make the house smell. Pick up a bag of those.

12. Walk through the produce department. Buy some zucchini to make more zucchini bread.

13. Walk through the bakery department. They have cookies. You look at your two favorite kinds of cookies and can't decide what kind to get.

14. Buy two different kinds of cookies.

15. Finally get to the dairy department and see that the milk is on sale. Get 4 gallons.

16. Remember that you're out of butter. Put some butter in the cart.

17. Start to walk to the check stand, and see the kids clothes. SOCKS! Your toddler needs socks. go get a package.

18. Remember that your niece's birthday is next week. Go to the toy department and find the noisiest, most annoying toy that you can, and put it in the cart.

19. Giggle as you walk away, thinking of how annoyed your brother will be having to listen to this toy.

20. Suddenly feel sorry for your SIL and go back to the toy department to get something less obnoxious.

21. Shampoo! you're out of shampoo! Go get some.

22. The spray gel is on sale. Buy two.

23. And a new brush because someone borrowed yours and lost it.

24. Walk through the isles with the Christmas decorations. See a wreath that would look great on the front door. Put that in the cart too.

25. Go get in the shortest check stand line.

26. The lady in front of you has a coupon for everything. This gives you time to look at all of the nifty items they have for sale right there.

27. Get an umbrella to keep in the car because last week you got caught in the rain without one.

28. Get another umbrella because they're only $2.00 each!

29. The lady in front of you is trying desperately to use her debit card, but can't remember her PIN.

30. Toss some nail clippers in your basket.

31. The lady in front of you is now counting out $48.00 in fives, ones, quarters, dimes nickles and pennies.

32. Grab a package of Tic Tacs and a tube of Chap Stick.

33. Finally get through the check stand and haul all of your purchases out to the car.

34. Drive home wondering how you just spent over $100.00 when all you came for was a spool of thread.


I guess it was a really good thing that when I sat down to sew and discovered that I needed red thread, it was only 8:00p.m. and the fabric store was still open;0)

But I still had to drive over to the grocery store later to get some milk.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Vegetable cake

In yet another attempt to get Max to ingest a vegetable, I came up with a new plan.

Today I would make zucchini bread.

I had a few zucchinis in the fridge and decided that they weren't really going anywhere so I searched online for a recipe.

I found one that sounded really good and printed it off.

It said that the prep time was 15 minutes and baking time 60-70 minutes.

Now I realize that the prep times on the recipe are highly optimistic and probably determined by someone in a very tidy test kitchen who not only has all of the ingredients right in front of them and doesn't need to search through the closet to find the other bottle of vanilla because the first one ran out and someone put it back instead of throwing the empty bottle away, and they most likely had all of their bowls, dishes, spoons and utensils sitting right in front of them all clean and shiny so they didn't have to hand wash them due to the fact that even though someone did their job and put the dishes in the dishwasher last night, they didn't bother to turn it on and the test kitchen people probably didn't have a toddler in the room with them..........
So I figured that to be more realistic, I would allow closer to 30-40 minutes to mix up the batter.

I look at the clock. It is 9:30 a.m. I figure that by 11:30, I would be enjoying a nice warm slice of zucchini bread.

The recipe said it made 2 loaves, and I decided that I should double it because I have this theory on cooking.

"It should take longer to eat it than it takes to make it."

This is the reason why I double recipes. Six dozen cookies will last much longer than three dozen cookies.

Am I right?

I watched an episode of Martha Stewart once where she spent like 3 hours making 6 cookies.
She carefully mixed up and rolled out the dough.
She took a leaf which she had carefully hand picked from her yard and then thoroughly cleaned
and laid it gently on top of the dough which had been rolled out to a thickness of exactly 1/4 of an inch. She then took a sharp knife and very precisely cut out the dough using the leaf as a pattern. Next, she took the back of the knife and very artistically drew in the veins of the leaf in the top of the dough.
She placed two cookies on each cookie sheet (they were large) and baked them.
After she took them out of the oven, while they were still warm, she gently lifted them off of her silpat lined cookie sheet and draped them over a large tube so that when the cookie cooled, it would be curved.
Just like a real leaf.
Then she took a pastry bag and with perfectly tinted icing, outlined the veins in the leaf cookies.

In comparison, at our house, we make drop cookies, and we don't give the cookies the luxury of cooling off before we eat them.
Besides, chocolate chips smear all over your face much easier if they're still warm.

When I got out the mixer, Max became rather interested.

He LOVES the mixer.

"Whatcha doing mom?"
"I'm making a special treat for you."
"Oh, are you also making me cookies?"
"No, I'm making some special bread."

I discovered that I needed to wash the bowl to my mixer, the measuring cups and spoons and the grater. I hand washed everything then I got out the ingredients and peeled and grated the zucchini as it said to in the recipe.
Max watched me measure a few ingredients, and then he became rather inquisitive.

"Mom, why you putting the eggs in it?'
"Mom, why did you also drop the egg on the floor?"
"Mom, why did it make a mess?"
"Mom, are you also cleaning up the mess?"
"Mom, why you are throwing away that egg from the floor? Is it also gross?"
"Mom, what's that white stuff?"
"Why you also putting that brown stuff in it?"
"Mom, why you also have to mix it?"..............

"Mom, what's that stuff?"

I was dumping in the zucchini.

"Max" I said "This stuff is SO delicious! It's called zucchini, and it tastes like candy!"

I have to admit that this was not the first time that I fibbed to one of my kids about the taste of zucchini.
I once told CJ that Zucchini tasted like chocolate.

He believed me.

He ate some.

He has never forgiven me.


Seriously CJ, it happened TEN YEARS AGO!


GET. OVER. IT!

I finish mixing everything together and realize that there's way too much batter to fit into my four small loaf pans.
I re read the recipe to discover that it will fill two large loaf pans not two small ones.

Shoot.

I fill the four small loaf pans.

And two round cake pans.

And a pie tin.

I manage to get them all stuffed into the oven and I set the timer.

Then I look at the clock. It's 11:30. So much for the 30 minute prep time. I get a pen and write on the recipe "15 minutes? Don't count on it. Allow two hours!"

50 minutes later, I take the bread out of the oven. (since the pans were smaller I felt the cooking time should be shorter. Plus, it was smelling really good and I couldn't wait to get a taste!)

It was great! The texture was really light, it was more like cake than bread. I ate a slice, then Max came over and asked for some.

HE LOVED IT!

He ate 4 big slices!

I finally got him to eat a vegetable!

OK, I realize that it was hidden within a cake like substance, but still, he ate a vegetable.
And a GREEN one at that!

When the kids got home from school, they were met with the lovely aroma of the zucchini bread. The boys snarfed down as much as they could, as fast as they could, but Brielle wouldn't touch any because "I won't eat cake with a vegetable in it!"

I might re name the recipe "Vegetable cake."

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Word Verification Wednesday!

Hey kids! What time is it?

It's time to play EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME!!


DEFINE THAT WORD VERIFICATION WORD!!!!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's how to play.

1. Go to the comment form.
2. Look at the jumbled letters and try to read them.
3. If they resemble any sort of word whatsoever, leave the word with your idea of it's definition in the comments!

It's just that easy!!!!

If you want to see examples, please go here. (Especially the comments. Really, READ THE COMMENTS! You won't be sorry!)

As always, please remember to follow the rules, which are;

1. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined. Please keep in mind that my kids read my blog.
2. You must use the ACTUAL word, no altering the word (unless it makes it funnier, then it's OK)
3. No mocking of the other contestants. (or me)


I've also decided that you may use words that you have seen while leaving comments on other blogs.
When you see a good WV word, write it down and save it, I plan on doing this every Wednesday!

You are not required to use the first word you get. Refresh as many times as you want!

You may play as many times as you wish. The more times the better!
(seriously, I got 56 comments last week. My self esteem was at an all time high)

I will run the game until Wednesday night.
Check back often to read all the comments. If it's anything like last week, it will be great!

You can tell how excited I am for this by the number of exclamation points I have just used!!

Monday, November 10, 2008

HEY! WE WON'T HAVE TO SEND HIM TO MILITARY SCHOOL!!!

Last week at school CJ took a survey to see what types of careers he would be best suited for.

He was quite excited to find that his career recommendations included things such as;

Computer hardware designer
CJ is our resident computer expert. He can figure out anything with my computer. Except how to get my Photoshop back. But then again, we've had that version of Photoshop longer than we've had CJ.

Artificial intelligence specialist
When CJ was younger, he had plans of building a robot that would clean his room for him. And instead of cleaning his room, he wanted to sit in his messy room and think about his magical room cleaning robot, and when we told him to get up and clean his room, he would say that we were just keeping him from inventing his robot that would clean his room for him.
I think he was just trying to get out of cleaning his room.

Biochemist
He has always loved mixing baking soda and vinegar together.
Diet coke and Mentos interest him too.

Roller coaster designer
What kid wouldn't want to do this? Someday I should post the picture of CJ riding the little roller coaster at Legoland. The look of sheer terror on his face is really quite sad.............and a little amusing.

Acoustical engineer
See the video I posted yesterday. CJ did all of the vocals and beat boxing himself.
No, I don't get the video either. What can I say, he's 13.

Mechanical engineer
or
Electrical engineer
When he was younger, he liked to take apart small appliances and use the parts to make different "inventions" Fortunately his grandpa kept him supplied with old cassette tape players and radios for his projects.

Computer animator
We have some computer animation software on my computer and he is teaching himself animation.

Perfumer
This one has me a bit baffled. However, if he could design a perfume that would counteract the aroma of flatulence, I would be incredibly grateful.
One of our kids (who will not be named) is extremely gassy.


While I think that CJ would be highly qualified for any of these career paths, today he took a quiz that makes me think of a different profession that he would be highly qualified for.

"What profession is that?" you might ask.






Kindergarten teacher




Seriously.


You might also be thinking that it's a bit of a stretch to go from Computer hardware designer or Biochemist to a kindergarten teacher, however if you look at the results of the quiz, you will understand why.









29

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site




I'm SO proud!!









I think.


Seriously, I only scored 20. Aaron scored 25 and he's only eight.


Go ahead and take the quiz and leave your score in the comments.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Because, apparently, my children have nothing better to do

Alternate title #1. Second lame post attributed to NaBloPoMo.
Alternate title #2. I knew I would regret getting him that YouTube account.
Alternate title #3. Warning! Extreme whining ahead.
Alternate title #4. Why do you keep asking if it's that time of the month?


Today, my computer genius son decided to take an iPod commercial and do this to it.



(Yeah, I'm sure no copyright laws were broken with that one)

He says he "probably" didn't have any homework to do.

I'm sorry guys, I tried to think of a really great post, but I got nothin.

Nada.

Probably because I'm INCREDIBLY irritated right now.

"Why?" do you ask?

Mostly because of a client I'm dealing with right now who I have decided will never be happy.

NEVER!

Those kind of people are really hard to please.

Anyway, it's a problem that has made me a bit grumpy.
And to top it all off, all of the good candy is gone in the last of the Halloween candy.

And "FOR HEAVEN SAKES, IF THE DISHES ARE STILL DIRTY WHEN YOU PULL THEM OUT OF THE DISHWASHER, DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT PUT THEM AWAY IN THE CABINETS!!"

And "WHEN YOU PUT THE DISHES AWAY, PLEASE TRY TO PUT THEM SOMEPLACE WHERE I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A REMOTE CHANCE OF FINDING THEM!!!"

And "THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS IS NOT A DUMPING PLACE FOR DIRTY CLOTHES!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT THEM UNDER YOUR BED WITH THE REST OF THEM!!"

And "I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR SOCKS ARE! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!"

OK, maybe I should just complain about a few more things, like the brush in the nail polish. Have you ever noticed that it doesn't reach to the bottom of the bottle? Even when I tip it, I can't get all of it. I know they do that so you will buy more polish sooner because you can't get what's left in the bottom. Not that I'm wearing polish on my nails, I putting it on the hole in the toe of the BRAND NEW PANTYHOSE that I ran this morning. And tipping the bottle of nail polish trying to get the last bit out while at the same time balancing on one foot while the other is on the edge of the tub can be a potentially dangerous situation.

And one more thing, if there's a line at the food sample table at Costco, DO NOT butt in front of me!! I DON'T CARE if you know the lady giving the sample, cutting in line is rude, and you really shouldn't get between me and a sample of hot apple crisp anyway.

I will give you a stern look and think bad things about you.

And that extra large sample of hot apple crisp with a scoop of ice cream that the lady gave you because she knows you?

It's going straight to your butt my friend.

Straight. To. Your. Butt.



OK, I'll give you a few Max quotes to make up for all the whining.

#1.
Me: "Max, tomorrow, we're going to the doctor so they can check your height.
Max: "Are they going to cut it off?"
Me: "Cut what off?"
Max: "My height."

#2.
"Why am I a boy? Is it also because I don't have a purse? Are you a girl because you have a purse?"

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Reason # 87 for why my kids will need therapy

We went to the store yesterday. This is how it went.

Me: "Max We're going to buy you a new pillow"
Max: "Why I need a new pillow?"
Me: "Because you threw up on it."
Max: "Oh, is it also gross?"
Me: "Yes Max, it's also gross."

We pick out a pillow and put it in the cart.

Me: "There Max, we're getting this pillow, and this one is washable."
Max: "Is my new pillow washyble? Why am I also get a new pillow?
Me: "Why ARE you getting a new pillow?"
Max: "Because the old one is also gross, and the new one is washyble."

We go over to the dairy area and put some milk in the cart.

(now, before I go on, I need to explain that Max really LOVES chocolate milk. If I buy a gallon he has me sit it next to him in the seat of the shopping cart and he hugs it and pats it all through the store. "Oh chokwit milk. I love you chokwit milk.
After we get home and put it in the fridge, Max will stand guard in front of the fridge, and if anyone dares open the door, he lets them know in no uncertain terms that "THAT'S MY CHOCKWIT MILK! YOU ALSO NOT DRINK MY CHOCKWIT MILK!!!"
He will, from time to time, allow one of his siblings to have some of the milk, but only if they are very nice to him, and he's in a really good mood.)

Max: "GET THE BROWN MILK! I ALSO NEED SOME CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN ONE! GET THE BROWN ONE!"

I was a bit hesitant to get the chocolate milk, because Max hasn't been feeling well, and I didn't want him to throw it up.

Max: "Please a please a please a please! PLEASE I NEED THE CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK!"
Me: "No Max, remember what happened the last time you were sick and had egg nog?"
Max: "I not like egg nog! The egg nog went uuuuuup, out of my mouth, and down on the carpet! I NOT like egg nog"
Me: "I don't want that to happen with the chocolate milk."

We start to walk away from the milk.

Max: "GO BACK! GO BACK! GO GET THE BROWN MILK! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE! PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSEEEEEE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

We walk several isles away and Max is showing no signs of stopping.

Brielle: "Mom, can't you get him to be quiet? He's really embarrassing me."

OK, now THIS I find rather amusing, because apparently, she doesn't seem to remember the MANY times that she did things to embarrass me.

So I laugh.



LOUDLY.

For a long time.

Brielle: (hissing quietly) "Mom, stop it! Now YOU are embarrassing me."

I laugh harder and louder, because this is getting funnier.

So basically we have...............

Max: "MOM! GET THE BROWN MILK! GO BACK AND GET THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK!"
Brielle: "MOM! MAKE HIM STOP! HE'S TOO LOUD! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING! STOP LAUGHING! IT'S EMBARRASSING! STOP HIM MOM! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING!!!"
Aaron: "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?......... WHAT'S SO FUNNY? .......WHAT'S SO FUNNY? ........WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"

Me: "Max, you will not get what you want by screaming. You need to calm down. I think we need to do some anger management. Let's all do it together."

We all lift our arms above our heads while taking a deep breath. We then lower our hands while exhaling s...l...o...w...l...y.
Repeated three times.

Max has calmed down. His face is red and blotchy, but he has stopped screaming. We walk around and get the rest of our groceries and start to go towards the check out stand when he starts again.
"PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEE!! PLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE!
PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A............."

Me: "Tell you what Max, if you sing "lights" for me, I will go back and get some chocolate milk."
Max: "I not sing Lights. I also sing my preschool song."

(If you didn't see the post where Max sings Lights, I suggest that you click on that link. You won't be disappointed)

I decided to allow the song substitution and we walked back toward the milk as he sang.....
Link
Today is a wonderful day,
For I am going away.
Not to the circus,
Not to the pool,
I am going to my preschool.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
I am going to my preschool.

We got to the milk case just as he finished.

He was giddy with excitement!

I reached in the case and got.................


a half gallon of chocolate milk.

Only a half gallon.

Max: "I NOT DID WANT THE SMALL ONE! I ALSO DID WANT THE BIG ONE! GET THE BIG CHOCOLATE MILK! NOT THE SMALL ONE!!

Me: "Max, that's too much milk, and besides you didn't sing Lights like I wanted.
Max: "Please get the big chocolate milk! pleeeeaaaassse!!"
Me: "You can have the small one, or none. What's your choice?"
Max "I want the big one!"

I have Aaron put the milk back and we start to walk away. Max starts crying again "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH..........WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN IN THE CITY, AAAAAAAHHHHH AND THE SUN SHINES ON THE BAAAAAAYYY.......AAAAAHHHHHH"

It was really quite sad, listening to him sing and cry at the same time.

Poor Max.



I got the big chocolate milk.




(and please don't tell me that I shouldn't have bought the milk. You weren't there)

Friday, November 7, 2008

All about Steve

Max admires three guys named Steve.

First, there's this Steve.





Max has the # to his iPhone.







Then there's this Steve.





Because what three year old doesn't like to play Blue's clues?
Max even has his own handy dandy notebook and red thinking chair.

"We just figured out Blue's clues, we just figured out Blue's clues, we just figured out Blue's clues, because we're really smart!"

And then finally, there's this guy named Steve.



Vocals by Max ;0)

Thursday, November 6, 2008

You guessed it...............or not.

Here it is! The post you've all been waiting for!

The answers to "What on earth did Max draw?"


Sketch #1.

Sorry, nobody even came close to guessing this one correctly.
It is a spider. See the eight legs protruding from it's large head?
I'm not sure why it has ears.
The really cool thing about this spider, is if you turn it upside down, it has a huge smile on it's face!
Max draws a ton of these pictures where it's a frowny face and you turn it upside down to get a smiley face.
This way he can sing the "If you chance to meet a frown" song over and over and over and over.......

(And you wouldn't believe how many times people google the phrase "If you chance to meet a frown" and end up on my blog. It's mind boggling.)

If you look closely, there is a circle above the spider's right eye. Max said that this is the spider's waist.




Picture #2.

Damama came the closest to guessing this one when she said "Dishes and food on a placemat. "

This is actually a picture of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can totally see the peanut butter and jelly on the pieces of bread. What you can't see is how carefully he spread the peanut butter and jelly with the crayon. (seriously, it took him FOREVER!) And today when he was having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch he needed to have this picture to look at while he was eating.




Picture #3.

Bonnie came the closest by guessing "his cars in a parking lot?"

This, believe it or not, is a garbage truck. (Or as it tends to be pronounced at our house "gwrarbage) See the tires on the big blob? See the three garbage cans at the bottom (two regular cans and one recycle)
If you look closely you can see the garbage can grabber thing on the side of the truck.


Picture #4.

Lisaway came remarkably close to getting this one. She said "a kid who ate too much candy vomiting into a toilet bowl, with the lid up."

Max was sick yesterday, and he drew a picture of himself throwing up in the toilet with the lid up. What I love most about this picture is how he's smiling while he's throwing up. It looks like he's probably losing his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or at least the jelly. The spikey hair is kind of cute too.

What he didn't draw was a picture of himself throwing up on the carpet and two blankets.




And for the bonus mystery phrase.


Lola came the closest by saying "it is Also a Pumpkin, that did also poop in it's pants, and also needs its cars taken away."

Yes, he was talking about the moldy pumpkin, but the exact phrase was

"BAD PUMPKIN"

Apparently he reads his words from top to bottom.


Honorable mention goes to Aunty Em who guessed "puking bat" because the letters are pretty darn close to where he threw up on the carpet.

That concludes my post on interpreting toddler art.
Thank you for playing!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Interpret this!

And here I am, yet again squeezing in my daily post at the last minute.

Today, I'm going to feature Max and his artwork, and in another attempt to squeeze two posts out of one idea, I'm not going to tell you what the pictures are until tomorrow.

I want you to guess!

Because it's just more fun that way!

The first one is a freebee.

This is a picture of a skunk that Max drew at school yesterday.



Interview with the artist.

Me: Max what did you learn about at school today?
Max: We did also learn about skunks!
Me: What did you learn about skunks? Do they smell good?
Max: NO! They also smell BAD! They smell stanky!!
Me: Stanky??
Max: No not STANKY! STEEEENKY THEY ALSO DO SMELL STEEEEENKY!!!
Me: What would happen if you saw a skunk?
Max: It would also spray me with it's tail!
Me: Would the spray smell nice
Max: No it would smell BAD!!!!

So there you have it. Skunks smell bad.

Or skunks also smell bad.



Now for the contest portion of today's blog!
(And as always, no actual prizes will be awarded. Just the knowledge that you won, and really, shouldn't that be enough?)

Please tell me what Max was drawing in these pictures. Leave your answers in the comments.



Drawing #1.



Drawing #2




Drawing #3


Drawing #4






And for the big bonus points..............
Tell me what two words Max was spelling.
(Hint, it has to do with something in a post a few days ago)






Sidenote: Max is starting to read. Fur rills.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Webster's will be calling you

The day is almost over, so I need to get my post in before midnight.

As promised, I will give you my favorite word verification definitions.

First of all, after paying closer attention to the words, I began to wonder just how they come up with them. Are the words really computer generated? Do they have a monkey sitting at some computer somewhere, typing in random letters? Or do they just have some type of software that keeps track of things picked up by TAMN's spell check?


I tried to pick just a few of my favorites, but you will just have to go read the comments from yesterday, because there were so many funny ones.

I will tell you my most favorite. This is the one that made me snort and laugh for 43 whole seconds which caused Max to run into the room asking "What's funny? What's also funny?"

The word was from b.

paticapt.............A condition where nobody can tell what gender you are.






Join me again tomorrow while I write some more drivel to fulfill my requirement for NaBloPoMo.


P.S. I think I might make word verification definitions a weekly game. This was fun!

Monday, November 3, 2008

NEW GAME!!! WORD VERIFICATION

I've decided to get an early start on today's NaBloPoMo post.

And today, I'm going to do something different.

A GAME!!! We're going to play a game!

(Now, I will need some reader participation for this thing to work properly.)

Put on your creative commentin' thinking caps because it's time to play


DEFINE THAT WORD VERIFICATION!!!

Yes folks, lately I've noticed that the word verification words are actually starting to resemble REAL WORDS!!

Now how to play the game.

1. Go to the comment form.
2. Look at the jumbled letters and try to read them.
3. If they resemble any sort of word whatsoever, leave the word with your idea of it's definition in the comments!

It's just that easy!!!!

I will post my favorites tomorrow!! (see how clever I am? I'm getting two days worth of posts out of this idea!)

"What do I win?" you might ask.

You get the best prize of all!

The respect and admiration of your peers!!

If you still don't understand, here are some examples:

Word - fompa
Definition - The sound Max makes when jumping on the couch (fompa....fompa.....fompa)

Word - dewthe
Definition - A really famous blogger with a lisp.

Word - promb
Definition - A prom that's da bomb!!

Word - bints
Definition - little bitty mints

Word - carsart
Definition - All of those little vinyl stickers you see on people's cars

Word - impari
Definition - A brand of foreign car


Other acceptable definitions are some that Jeff Foxworthy might use in his "you might be a redneck" word definitions such as:

Word - sleonsiz
Definition - It's Leon's sister

Or, you can use it in a sentence.........

Word - sustanke
Definition - Max was sustanke that I had to give him a bath!! (so stinky)

And if you can't think of a definition, still let me know the WV word, and maybe someone else might want to take a stab at defining it.

Before I forget, we need some rules for this game.
1. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined. Please keep in mind that my kids read my blog.
2. You must use the ACTUAL word, no altering the word (unless it makes it funnier, then it's OK)
3. No mocking of the other contestants. (or me)

Play early, and play often. Let's see how high we can get my comment count today, shall we??

Sunday, November 2, 2008

First lame post caused by NaBloPoMo

Last week I had a bunch of ideas floating around in my head for some fabulous posts.
Now that we've entered November, or as it's known in blogland "NaBloPoMo" I can't think of a darned thing to write about.
But I have to, because I can't drop out on day two.
Because that would make me a really big loser.
Kind of like the time I entered a talking contest when I was in fifth grade. (whoever talked the longest was the winner)
I could talk for a long time. A really long time.
Until they started that darn timer.
Do you want to know how long I talked?


43 seconds.

How incredibly lame is that.

The winner went over 5 minutes. They had to stop her because she showed no sign of stopping on her own. She talked about everyone in the class. Stuff like which boys liked which girls, which girls liked which boys. She basically turned the classroom into a soap opera.
She won the contest, but I'm not sure that she had too many friends when it was over.

I probably would have done better if they hadn't made me go first.

Random Max quotes:

*The last few days Max has been going around to people saying "Hey Dude! Are you meat?"

Trust me, I have NO IDEA what that even means.
I'm pretty sure he got it from one of my other offspring.

*Today when we sat down to dinner, Max looked up at me and said "Nice cookin' chef!"

*Tonight Max says "Is Brielle a girl?"
Me: "Yes, Brielle is a girl."
Max: (pointing to me) "Are you also a girl?"
Me: "Yes."
Max: "Is Dad a man?"
Me: "Yes, Dad is a man."
Max: "Is Grandma a girl?"
Me: "Yes."
Max: "Why is grandma a girl? Is it because she also has a purse? Boys don't have a purse."

OK that's it for tonight. I'll try to come up with something better for tomorrow.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Day after Halloween - sugar withdrawls

Halloween is now officially over, and I actually got some sleep last night so I can now type coherently.

First, I will describe the steps of my Halloween costume making process.

#1. Spend the entire year before Halloween trying to come up with really great ideas for a costume.

#2. Spend about three months before Halloween designing the costume and trying to figure out the best way to put the costume together.

#3. Spend the day before Halloween running around to different fabric stores to get the necessary materials to make the Halloween costume. Be sure to go to the grocery store and buy an entire case of Diet Dr. Pepper.

#4. Stay up all night making the costume.

#5. Move your kitchen table next to the wall so you can have more room on the floor to make the costume.

#6. Leave tons of fabric scraps all over the floor of the family room, bringing the total numbers of rooms covered in costume making crap stuff to three.

#7. About 4:00 in the morning begin wondering why you're doing this in the first place.

#8. Notice that the burns on your fingers from the hot glue are really starting to hurt.

#9. Decide that you are indeed crazy and should probably be committed. Preferably someplace quiet where you can relax and get some sleep.

#10. Finish the costume just in time to wake up the kids for school. When one complains that they think it's too early to get up and that they are very tired, say to them very sweetly...........








"DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT BEING TIRED!!! YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IT MEANS TO BE REALLY TIRED!! NOW GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED AND GET READY FOR SCHOOL!!!!"

#11. Notice that you might be getting a tad bit crabby and decide that it's probably a good time to drink another can of Diet Dr. Pepper.

#12. Notice the huge pile of empty cans of DDP on your counter and wonder if it's bad that you drank that much.

#13. Notice for the first time just what an incredibly huge mess you made all over the house while making the costume.

#14. Ignore the mess and take a nap.

#15 go to the school costume parade and get there just in time to see your kids run past you before you get your camera out of the bag.


I managed to get a picture of the costumes before the kids went trick or treating.



These are not my children in the costumes. They are paid actors.

The costume on the left is a tornado. It is not dryer lint. It's hard to see, but I glued little cars all over it. I wanted to put some little plastic cows on it too but all I could find were some little plastic lizards. I decided they could look like alligators. Brielle has a flying monkey doll (from the wizard of OZ) that I was going to use, but she couldn't find it. Next year I'm adding some small telephone poles and fences to it.
CJ wouldn't let me get a picture of him in his costume. He decided at the last minute that he would go trick or treating and threw a costume together himself. He combined his iPod costume from last year with his alien costume from the year before and went as an iAlien.

These are my darling little nieces.

Random things about this Halloween.

I noticed a big drop in the amount of Three Musketeer bars being handed out this year. What's up with that???
My kids know that the Three Musketeers are the ones that they are required allowed to give me.

We have a rule in our home that the kids aren't to eat candy out of their siblings buckets. However, if they leave the candy laying around it's pretty much understood that I'm allowed to eat as much as I want.

It really bugs me when my kids eat the candy and don't throw away the wrappers. Especially when I'm looking through their bag start to grab a peanut butter cup only to discover that it's an empty wrapper.

Last year, Max really surprised me when I took him trick or treating. I thought he would get tired and want to go home early, but after every house he would look at me and say "MORE CANDY! I GET MORE CANDY!" and on to the next house we would go.
This year after three houses he wanted to go home. He said "Why we are also going so long way from our house?" (we were one street away) I forced him to finish the street. When we got home he sat down to eat his candy and fell asleep. I guess it was really tiring to walk around in a crab suit.


In the last post, I wrote about how fascinated Max was with the moldy pumpkin. What I didn't mention was how he was making this annoying siren sound every time he lifted the lid.

WEEEEEOOOOOO WEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO WEEEEEEEEOOOOOO

And then he would run around the kitchen making the siren sound and then would stop for a moment to tell me that "THE PUMPKIN DID ALSO POOP IN IT'S PANTS AND IT NEEDS IT'S CARS TAKED AWAY BECAUSE IT DID ALSO POOP IN IT'S PANTS!!!! WWWEEEEEEEOOOOOO WEEEEEEEOOOO WEEEEEOOOOOO..........
In retrospect, I probably should have put him to bed earlier.

Here are the kid's Jack-o-lanterns. Left to right CJ, Aaron, Max and Brielle. Max drew the design and I cut it out. He says it's a mad pumpkin.

This morning, DH told the kids that he would take them swimming today if they cleaned up the costume making mess I made all over the house.
And the regular mess they made in the family room.

They are at the pool right now.

And every one of them have left their Halloween candy on the kitchen table;0)