Things I learned at church today

Last night we got a phone call asking if we could substitute teach Max's Primary (Sunday school) class today because his regular teachers were sick.

I've heard it said that the person who teaches the lesson usually learns more than the ones being taught.

This is true, today I learned several interesting things from this group of six year olds.

Things I learned at church today

#1 Ashley's little sister likes to stick her hands in the toilet.

#2 Jeremy's little brother has eaten poop.

#3. Brinley's baby sister is turing one next week, and her mom is pregnant.

Spam spies?

I have been getting emails from Groupon for a while now.

I can't remember if I actually signed up to get these, of if they got my email address by less ethical ways, either way, I've been getting at least one email a day from Groupon.

At first, they were offering me deals on things such as salon services, massages, weekend getaway packages at nice hotels. They also told me about discounts I could get at nice restaurants, flower shops and theaters.

A few weeks ago, I started to notice a trend in the type of deals being offered to me.

First I received several offers for a discount on lipo/laser treatments.

Next, they sent me offers for a discount on teeth whitening.

At first I didn't think much of it, but then over the next week, I recieved offers for laser hair removal, Botox, Microdermabrasion, sunless tanning and yoga classes.*

I began to wonder if someone from Groupon was stalking me..........

I really began to worry when they suggested I get a good deal on their carpet shampooing and house cleaning services.

Have Groupon spies been in my home???

I really hope that they haven't been spying on me, especially after getting the email, letting me know of the great deal I can get on"colon hydrotherapy."

*I'm choosing to be offended.

Halloween recap

This year Halloween was a little different because my kids school had all of their Halloween festivities on Friday :0)

Usually this would mean that I would be staying up late, working on costumes Thursday night instead of the night before Halloween, however, CJ is too old to go Trick-or-treating (plus, at 6'4" he looks even older than 16) Brielle wasn't allowed to wear a costume for school, and Max decided to use one of CJ's old costumes.

This meant that I only had to make one costume!!

I was excited about this, because Aaron's costume would be super easy. (I may or may not have thrown it together Friday morning)

Apparently, it was also super difficult to understand. No one in our neighborhood could figure out what he was.

Here it is, can anyone guess what his costume is?

I will be quite impressed by the first person who guesses correctly.

Max's costume was perfect for him because...

1) It's his favorite food

2) It was already made and I didn't have to do anything.

3) It was padded so every time he tripped (because the costume was a little big on him) the padding would break his fall.

There is a hole for his face, however, he was being shy.

CJ stayed home and handed out candy. I wanted him to dress as a vampire, but he was being a bit of a party pooper.

He also handed out too much candy* because we ran out!**

The best part of the evening was when we had one piece of candy left and Max waited at the door to pass out the last piece.

A large group of kids came to the door and Max waved around the package of Whoppers and said "ONLY ONE OF YOU IS GETTING CANDY!!" He dropped the candy in the bucket of the little girl at the front of the group, then turned the candy bowl upside down "SEE! IT'S ALL GONE!" Then closed the door.

Due to the fact that I didn't need to make costumes yesterday, I was able to make some treats. A friend posted the link to this recipe for pumpkin muffins on Facebook, and I knew I had all of the ingredients,*** so I decided to make them.

They are FABULOUS! Pumpkin with cream cheese filling! MMMMM!

They were really good! They even looked good, and with my track record of making really ugly food, I felt that this was an accomplishment.

I didn't realize until last night that I accidentally put twice as much pumpkin in the recipe than it called for. I guess I just assumed that I should use a large can instead of a smaller one. They were really moist and delicious, so I think I'll double the pumpkin every time I make them.

I do have on bit of helpful advice if you decide to make these delicious muffins. When you are mixing the pumpkin/sugar/eggs on low speed in your electric mixer, be sure that when you turn the mixer off, you actually turn it off and don't accidentally turn it on high.

You will end up with pumpkin all over yourself and almost everything in your kitchen.

Trust me on this one.

*We had more kids come to our house this year than ever before. I think this was due to the really nice weather and the dozens of carloads of kids being brought to our neighborhood from who knows where. Apparently, when a few of the neighbors start handing out full size candy bars, and word gets around.

**The candy I don't like ran out. The bag of Three Musketeers was left untouched in the kitchen.

***Not really, I ended up going to the store halfway through making these to get salt, pumpkin pie spice and powdered sugar.

Quite possibly the best Max quote EVER!

Yesterday my husband was teasing Max, and he asked him if he had a girlfriend.

Max grinned and said "I like Kate!"

When I commented that he was a little too young to have a girlfriend he said........

"Look, if I don't start meeting girls now, I'm going to live in this house FOREVER!"

If yoga people can't cough, can they sing and dance at Wal Mart?

Max has spent the last three weeks in first grade, and appears to be doing just fine. I kept trying to convince him that he was going to miss me too much and I should come with him to school, but he is quite sure that I shouldn't be there.

I even offered to join him for lunch and stay for the second half of the day but he appears to be adamantly against me doing that.
He is even opposed to me standing outside and watching him through the windows.

Deep down I think he really misses me.

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Just out of curiosity, how long do you usually wave your hand in front of the towel dispenser in a public restroom before realizing that it isn't automatic and you actually need to turn the handle to get the towel out?

Not that I've ever done that.

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Earlier today I found Aaron in the kitchen holding a funnel with a balloon attached to it. He hid behind the counter and filled the balloon with flour.

He was dissapointed that he wasn't able to fill the balloon completely, but then he got a wicked grin on his face and said "Hey, I bet if I filled up a few hundred of these, sat them on the lawn then run over them with the mower, it would make a HUGE MESS!"

This is the same child who came up to me a few months ago and asked me if I could get him some liquid nitrogen.*

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Over the last few weeks, I have found a need to outlaw unnecessary sounds in our house. It's amazing how many sounds are made around here for apparently no reason whatsoever.

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Last night while the kids were finishing up with their homework, I laid on the couch and must have fallen asleep and dreamed that Aaron was in a yoga class because when he coughed loudly and woke me up, I yelled at him "YOGA PEOPLE DON'T COUGH!"**

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For some strange reason, I usually end up at Wal Mart every Saturday night with anywhere from one to four kids.
Saturday night at the Wal Mart is an interesting experience. During the shopping, Aaron generally spends his time dancing around, trying to get caught on the security cameras and having his picture posted on People of Walmart dot com.***
There is usually at least one motor home camped out in the parking lot, sometimes more. It's fun to watch how these campers make themselves at home there, we've even seen some set up a barbecue and patio furniture next to their RV.


Last Saturday night was a little bit special, however, because as we had finished our shopping experience and left the building, we were greeted by this.****

*Yes, he sometimes frightens me.

**Hey, you weren't there, it made perfectly good sense before I woke up completely.

***What can I say, at least he has a goal.

****I'm not even sure that they were all playing the same song.

Top two Max quotes of the week

#1

Max: "Last year I was in Kindergarten and I didn't have a life. This year I'm in first grade and I have a life."

Me: "What is different this year?

Max: "Well, last year all I did was play Mario Kart, this year I go to school all day and play Mario Kart."

#2

Me:" Max, You are so cute!"

Max: "NO I'm am not cute! Boys don't want to be cute, they want to be HOT! I'm HOT not cute!!"

Cheaters never win........or do they?

Mario Kart is a favorite Wii game at our house, Max has become an expert at maneuvering through all of the different tracks.

We recently set up the Wii so it will connect to the internet, and one benefit of this is that the kids are able to play Mario Kart online and race against people all over the world. It's been fun to see all of the places where the other players are from.

Last week, Aaron discovered a way to cheat and win every time he races. I asked him if he really felt OK doing this, and he said that from now on he would only do this at night when all of the other racers are from Japan.*

Tonight, Max was about to enter a race online, and asked Aaron how to cheat so he could win.

Brielle said "Max, you shouldn't cheat, that isn't very nice. Think about it, what would Jesus do?"

Max replies................... "Is Jesus Japanese?"

*Not sure why this would make cheating OK.

Edited to add: I just asked Aaron why cheating would be OK if the other players are from Japan, and he said that if he cheated and those he beat created an angry mob to come and beat him up, it should take a lot longer for the angry mob to get here from Japan than it would if it was an angry mob from around here.