Letters to the drop off zone

Dear lady in the green mini van,
In the future, would you please make sure that all of your children have their back packs filled, coats on, notes signed, and hair combed BEFORE you leave for school? Please realize that there are about 20 cars behind you waiting to drop our kids off at school while we are ever so patiently waiting for you to take care of the items mentioned above.
Your cooperation in this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Signed,
The mom waiting behind you.

Dear daughter of the lady in the green mini van,
Your hair looks fine. GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!
Signed,
Still waiting

Dear guy in the little blue sports car,
Did you not notice how your wheels were spinning on the icy street?
Did you not notice the slight hill leading down to the drop off zone?
Did you not realize that if the streets are icy, chances are the hill going down to the drop off zone might be icy also?
Are you aware that when you drive faster while turning into the drop off zone, that your chances of sliding increase?
Did you know that when you make a sharp turn in a speeding sports car on an icy hill, it will sometimes slide sideways, and if there is another car parked in the drop off zone, chances are the cute little sports car will run into it?
Do you think that maybe if you were not talking on your cell phone, you may have noticed the above mentioned conditions?
Do you now realize that driving a cute little (now dented) sports car on a snowy day is probably not a very good idea?

I hope you have insurance.

Signed,
Witness to an accident.

Dear lady in the white Explorer,
I realize that your cute little kindergartener probably would love to have you walk her to her classroom, but do you really think it's a good idea to park in the drop off zone, get out of your car, and walk her to the school? Do you realize the traffic back up you are causing?? Do you see all of the signs that say "No parking in the drop off zone, driver must stay with car"?
In the future, please park in the parking lot. This is what they built it for.
Signed,
Slightly annoyed mom.

Dear lady in the gray Suburban,
Are you serious?? Do you really think that you can turn left onto that busy street?? Can you see that none of the cars on the road are moving? Do you know why? It is because they are all lined up waiting to turn left into the same drop off zone that you are trying to exit. Do you realize that they aren't going anywhere until you move out of the way?

TURN RIGHT AND GO AROUND THE BLOCK!!!

Signed,
Yes, I do have all day to sit here and wait for you to turn =P

Dear Max,
I realize that Mommy said it was O.K. to bring the cow flashlight with you while we took the kids to school, however, at the time, I thought that the batteries were dead, and I had no idea that I would be listening to it moo all the way to school and back home. Please understand that Mr. Cow flashlight may be taking a vacation for a few days, and will be unavailable for your listening pleasure.
Signed,
Your loving Moom,........er..........I mean Mom

Dear husband,
Thank you so much for replacing the batteries in Max's cow flashlight.
Signed,
Your loving wife

Dear television weather man,
O.K. Enough already.
Seriously.
I admit the snow was kind of fun at first, you know, around Christmas time when all the pretty lights made it glitter.
I also realize that the ski resorts are very happy with all the snow, and also the skiers, however,
I don't ski.
I know, I know, we're in a drought...........blah, blah, blah.................we really need the water...............blah, blah, blah.............
I have a solution that will make everyone happy. If you could please arrange it so that the snow falls only in the mountains, and on the grass, not on the streets, parking lots, school drop off zones, and my driveway, it would be greatly appreciated.
Oh yea, and while you're at it, if you could do something about the freezing temperatures, I would appreciate that also.
My feet have not been warm since September.
Signed,
Frozen feet.

Dear school secretary,
Thank you so much for the lovely phone call this morning. I do so enjoy our frequent conversations.
Yes, I am aware that one or more of my children were late for school. We actually got to the school on time, however, after waiting in line at the drop off zone (behind the lady who was waiting for her lovely daughter to finish her morning grooming routine, the lady who parked the car, got out and walked her kid into school, and the crazy cell phone/dented sports car guy), it took a while for my children got out of the car, and I can see how they might have been a few minutes late.
Thank you so much for your suggestion that we leave our home a few minutes earlier, so we don't get stuck in the drop off zone. Perhaps on your way to school in the morning, you can stop by our house and drag them out of bed yourself. Maybe they will listen to you.
Signed,
I have caller ID, and I know how to use it.

Dear leftover Halloween candy that I just found in my closet,
Do you know how much I needed you today? You cannot begin to fathom the joy I felt in my heart as I saw you sitting there, alone, forgotten, ready to fill my life with your chocolaty goodness. I realize that I might have seemed a little desperate as I ripped open your bag and began grabbing at your peanut butter cups. They are my favorite. At some point during the day, I promise to relieve you of your Almond Joys, and peanut M&Ms.
I am so ashamed that I was unaware of your presence, however, I vow to make it up to you by spending the day with you and my other friend, 6 pack of Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr Pepper.

Oh the fun we will have!
If there is any of you left at the end of the day, I will use you as incentive for my children to get their homework done.
Thak you so much for the joy you have brought into my life on such a dreary day.
I love you.
Signed,
Your currently over/caffienated friend

Dear children,
How would you feel about walking to school from now on?????
Signed
Your loving (I really need a vacation) Mom