Snippets

*A few days ago Brielle said that someone should invent liquid bacon, so you can drink it and pour it on stuff.

*Aaron discovered that if he hooks the water balloon attachment for the hose onto the pump for the air mattress, he can make a really annoying noise for a really long time........

*As we were leaving the very crowded, very hot parade on the 4th of July, I overheard a lady talking to her kids, she said "We all make mistakes in life, and coming here is one of them!"

*Aaron was making a project using plumber's putty (don't ask) and Max asked him what it was. Aaron explained how it was used and Max says "Oh, so it's like toilet glue!"

*I recently checked the stat counter on my blog and was excited to find that the number of people coming here has tripled!
At first I just assumed that I was becoming more popular, but after further examination I learned that an freakishly large amount of people do online searches for photos of a spleen.

*Speaking of spleens, my spleen has been feeling much better (thank you for asking) and for the last week I will randomly walk past one of my kids, yell "SPLEEN CHECK" and poke them in the ribs.
Great fun!

*A few days ago Max lost one of his top front teeth, he now looks even more adorable and talks with a whistle. He said that it's difficult to say the words ttthhhhh, ssssss and ffffffff.

*Why is it that when children have recently lost a tooth and you try to get a picture of their cute new smile, they always stick their tongue through the gap where the tooth used to be?

*Max has spent the last few years of his life building things with his large duplo bloks. Recently, he has discovered Lego blocks, so we can no longer walk around the house barefoot.

*My teenage son needs to get a job (do you have any idea how much it costs to buy car insurance for a 16 year old boy?) unfortunately, he has a very busy schedule with band this summer and doesn't really have time for a job. Any ideas where he can apply for work?

*Aaron just got a remote control helicopter which is at this very moment, hovering dangerously close to my head.

*We love Netflix because we can watch entire seasons of television shows, back to back without commercial interruptions. My boys have recently discovered the Dr. Who series and have watched the first four seasons already.
Yesterday Max told me that for Halloween he wants to dress up as the TARDIS.

*Max is a very good reader and has recently started reading chapter books on his own. He is now standing next to the computer, reading as I type and "correcting" everything he doesn't agree with.
Seriously, more annoying than autocorrect.

If yoga people can't cough, can they sing and dance at Wal Mart?

Max has spent the last three weeks in first grade, and appears to be doing just fine. I kept trying to convince him that he was going to miss me too much and I should come with him to school, but he is quite sure that I shouldn't be there.

I even offered to join him for lunch and stay for the second half of the day but he appears to be adamantly against me doing that.
He is even opposed to me standing outside and watching him through the windows.

Deep down I think he really misses me.

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Just out of curiosity, how long do you usually wave your hand in front of the towel dispenser in a public restroom before realizing that it isn't automatic and you actually need to turn the handle to get the towel out?

Not that I've ever done that.

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Earlier today I found Aaron in the kitchen holding a funnel with a balloon attached to it. He hid behind the counter and filled the balloon with flour.

He was dissapointed that he wasn't able to fill the balloon completely, but then he got a wicked grin on his face and said "Hey, I bet if I filled up a few hundred of these, sat them on the lawn then run over them with the mower, it would make a HUGE MESS!"

This is the same child who came up to me a few months ago and asked me if I could get him some liquid nitrogen.*

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Over the last few weeks, I have found a need to outlaw unnecessary sounds in our house. It's amazing how many sounds are made around here for apparently no reason whatsoever.

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Last night while the kids were finishing up with their homework, I laid on the couch and must have fallen asleep and dreamed that Aaron was in a yoga class because when he coughed loudly and woke me up, I yelled at him "YOGA PEOPLE DON'T COUGH!"**

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For some strange reason, I usually end up at Wal Mart every Saturday night with anywhere from one to four kids.
Saturday night at the Wal Mart is an interesting experience. During the shopping, Aaron generally spends his time dancing around, trying to get caught on the security cameras and having his picture posted on People of Walmart dot com.***
There is usually at least one motor home camped out in the parking lot, sometimes more. It's fun to watch how these campers make themselves at home there, we've even seen some set up a barbecue and patio furniture next to their RV.


Last Saturday night was a little bit special, however, because as we had finished our shopping experience and left the building, we were greeted by this.****

*Yes, he sometimes frightens me.

**Hey, you weren't there, it made perfectly good sense before I woke up completely.

***What can I say, at least he has a goal.

****I'm not even sure that they were all playing the same song.

NATIONAL DE-LURKING DAY!!

It has just been brought to my attention that today is National De-Lurking day!

What is that you might ask?

It's when all of the people who lurk (read but don't comment) are encouraged to leave a comment.

Last year on this day, I had some of the best comments ever!

I also used my stat counter to get information to call out one of my readers who never commented. (I may have mentioned where they lived and their occupation) They commented, but have never been back.
To this person, I apologize, I didn't mean to drive you away. (not that they will see this, because as mentioned before, they haven't been back) (sigh)

Last year was so fun because I encouraged everyone to leave a comment as their favorite famous person! (Mostly so it would look like famous people were reading my blog)

I also suggested that if you couldn't think of anything to say, to just leave a really random comment such as......

"The moldy bird flies at midnight"
"Purple porcupines with rabies attack me in my sleep!"
"Target hates me!!"

Some of my favorite comments were;

Sarah Palin said...
WOW! You are amazingly funny! Your so lucky you have such creative kids. The crazy imagination leads to wonderful stories and memories. ~~~~In the 1800's, 'pants' was a dirty word in England


Barack Obama said...
I wanted to say that you have a fine blog, a bold blog, that tells the world what fine people Americans are. You are an outstanding example of the kind of person we should all seek to be. This is why I'm giving you my Nobel Peace Prize. You are that important.

George of the Jungle said...
You make me laugh. Max makes me laugh more.---It is against the law in Georgia to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole. So what am I supposed to tie the giraffe to, I ask you?

Anderson Cooper said...
The dolphin is in the washing machine, I repeat, the dolphin is in the washing machine.


To whoever left that Anderson Cooper comment, just so you know, "The dolphin is in the washing machine" has become a favorite phrase at our house.

What can I say, we're a little strange around here.

Back to the whole de-lurking thing, leave a random comment as your favorite (or least favorite) famous person.

A weighty issue

Every year at Christmas time, I will make a 5 pound batch of fudge, give most of it away, (OK, some of it) and I will gain 10 pounds.

This year, I didn't make any fudge, nor did we get any treats from the neighbors, and I gained 5 pounds.

If tomorrow, I make 10 pounds of fudge, give away 8 pounds to the neighbors, will I lose 2 pounds, or will the neighbors just think I'm strange?

Or, if I make 15 pounds of fudge, give away 12, will I gain 3 pounds, have the neighbors think I'm strange and spend the next few weeks on the treadmill while watching re-runs of The Biggest Loser.

Or, should I just get myself a big bowl of ice cream (with homemade fudge sauce) sit in my comfortable chair and eat it while watching The Biggest Loser.

Will Jillian scream at me through my television?

If I sent her 15 pounds of fudge, would she shut up?


What do you think?

Random stuff.....

I remember reading the drivers education manual when I got my drivers license. I don't seem to remember the section that says that when you see someone in the next lane signaling to get into your lane, that you should speed up as fast as you can because apparently, it's against the law in this state to let someone get in front of you.

Did I miss this in the manual, or did they change it?


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I'm getting sick. I mentioned this to Max this morning, and then later when I asked him for a hug, he wouldn't come near me because "I CAN'T HUG YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE GERMS!!"

This afternoon I had to lie to my little guy and tell him I felt better, just so I could get a hug.

I will say that after getting a big Max hug, I did feel a bit better.


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I picked up the kids from school today because the weather was rainy and cold. I had a few errands to run, and I made them come with me.

After a trip to the bank and to the library (to return an overdue DVD so we don't have to fund an entire new wing of the library with our overdue fees) we were headed home when Brielle mentioned that a hot apple pie from McDonald's would sure be nice right about then.

It sounded like a pretty good idea to me too, but knowing that Max doesn't like the hot apple pies, I wasn't sure how he would react to us getting a treat and not getting one for him, so I asked "Max, do you want an apple pie from McDonald's?" you know, just in case he changed his mind about liking them.

He said no.

"Would you be sad if we all got hot apple pies?"

Much to my surprise, he said yes.

Then Aaron (sensing that there was danger of him not getting a hot apple pie) asked Max "Would you be sad if we all got hot apple pies and you didn't have to eat one?" and Max replied "No, I would be very happy if you all had them!"

Seriously, how cute is that?

I pulled into the McDonald's that was just up the street, bought 4 hot apple pies for me and the three older kids, and chocolate chip cookies for Max.

Some things are just more difficult for some people

Due to the lack of content in my brain combined with the late hour, and the need for me to post something before the clock strikes midnight and my computer turns back into a pumpkin, I will post for you, a picture.

Leave me your favorite blonde joke in the comments.

Or any joke.

Unless you don't want to, then fine! Don't.

If you prefer, you may mock your least favorite celebrity.

This totally counts as a post, doesn't it?

Things I don't get

Justin Beiber's hair

Boots worn with shorts

Caffeine free Diet Coke (What's the point?)

Chocolate covered raisins (seriously, WHY do people do this to perfectly good chocolate)

Farmville

Celebrities that believe that their popularity makes them above the law.

Kathie Lee Gifford


Really BIG tires on tiny little trucks



Vannah White

Proving to myself and everyone else just how insane I really am

Alternate post titles..........

"Because apparently, I don't have enough to do"

"Thirty days of drivel"

"nablopowhatintheheckwasIthinkingmo"



Yes, for the third year in a row, I have signed up for Na Blo Po Mo.

I have recently started on a work project that is the largest that I have ever done. The due date to have everything finished is the end of November, so I decided that I needed to write every day to have a little balance in my life.
I suppose I could have just washed the dishes instead, but after much careful thought* I decided that writing a post every day for a month would be better for my mental state.

*Ok, and by "careful thought" I mean I looked at the sink full of dishes, then turned the laptop the other direction so I couldn't see the dishes anymore.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?


So now my biggest problem is coming up with stuff to write about for 30 days. I have quite a few posts in my drafts folder, but for some reason, I just can't seem to finish them. I'm sure that Facebook has had nothing to do with this.

Side note: I tried to log on to Blogger three times before I realized that I was using my Facebook password instead of my Blogger password.

Another side note: If you are writing something on Facebook that you don't want someone to read (who just happens to be one of your FB friends) DO NOT WRITE IT ON FACEBOOK!
I recently read a conversation between two of my "Facebook friends" that I'm pretty sure they didn't intend for me to see. Nothing bad, just some information that they omitted in previous face to face in real life conversations.
Seriously people, WE CAN READ EVERYTHING THAT YOU POST ON YOUR WALL!

Rant over.

Halloween was fun. Brielle dressed as a cute witch, Max was the cutest Oompa Loompa that you've ever seen, Aaron was dressed as a food fight, and I wore the same costume that I do every year and dressed as a sleep deprived mom who stayed up all night finishing her kids costumes so they could wear them in the school costume parade.
(I actually did wear a costume when we went to the neighborhood pre trick or treating dinner. I went dressed as the underside of a restaurant table) (I wadded up pieces of pink felt and attached them to the front of my sweatshirt) (gum)

I will post pictures of the costumes as soon as we figure out how to get the pictures into the computer. Apparently, my camera and my computer are no longer on speaking terms, and the teenager is at this very minute going to great lengths and spending large amounts of time working on it to get the pictures transferred.

Either that or he's taking a nap.


Hey, I just had an idea!

I can have you vote on what you would like me to write about!

1. The new adventures of Naughty Bird (Yes, the stupid bird is back)
2. Halloween - The Oompa Loompa with an attitude
3. Max and the imaginary races


Leave your vote in the comments.

Leave your vote in the comment section

Cold showers, experimental fudge, illegal drugs, the evils of texting, and other random stuff.......

Apparently, my theory is true about our appliances signing a suicide pact earlier this year.

Today we came home from church to find that our water heater was leaking and had caused a small flood in the basement. (Fortunately, we caught it before the water got too far.......)

Here's the dead appliance list for this year.

Oven/stove

Dishwasher

Disposal

Refrigerator*

Water heater

*I don't think I blogged about the refrigerator. It stopped working a few months ago, but it wasn't very eventful because it didn't cause a flood, just slushy popcicles.

When we first discovered the water leaking, we turned off the main water valve, and told the kids not to use any water until we turned off the water to the water heater then turned the main water back on.

Max has been freaking out all evening because he isn't sure whether or not he should flush.

Super.

We finally get him to actually start flushing the toilets, and now after not being able to flush for an hour, he's back to not flushing again.

No matter how many times we tell him it's OK to flush, he still won't and also when he turned on the bathroom faucet, it made a spitting sound, so..............

"AND NOW I CAN'T WASH MY HANDS BECAUSE THE WATER IS MAKING A FUNNY NOISE!!!!"

So now, we won't have hot water until we get the darn water heater replaced.

And the noisy fans are back.

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I just made fudge, except instead of putting chocolate in it, I used vanilla and root beer extract. It was quite good! (and I say "was" because the teenager ate all of it)

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Tonight I explained to my pre teen daughter that she is required to actually speak full words instead of text speak.

Yes, I will be insisting that she speak the words "I don't know" and "be right back" instead of IDK and BRB.

We thought that not having texting on our phones would avoid such nonsense, but alas, the teenagers are now so lazy that they can't speak full words, and must speak in texting shorthand.

LOL!

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This past week was red ribbon week at our elementary school. They had an assembly where they discussed the dangers of taking drugs.

All weekend, Max has been coming up to us at random times and saying "HEY! DON'T TAKE DRUGS!!"

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I just checked on the homework that Max is doing (What? Doesn't your kindergartener work on their homework Sunday night??) (shut up)

He was doing a worksheet where there are pictures, and he is supposed to say what the picture is, then write down the first letter of the word.

For some reason, he had written numbers under all of the pictures instead of letters.

I took the paper and studied it closer. Under the ant, Max wrote a 6, under the octopus he wrote 8, the goat, table, dinosaur, cat and elephant, he wrote 4s.......

He was writing the number of legs on the object in the picture instead of the first letter of the word.

There were other pictures too, the dress had a 2 under it (someone wearing a dress would have two legs?) the house had one, the fish had 3, the ladder had 8.

I counted the steps on the ladder, and sure enough, there were 8.

I showed Max that he was doing the paper wrong, and he laughed and said "I guess my teacher probably won't like it like this!"

Then he flipped his pencil around and started erasing..........

Letters to the universe

Dear Stupid cold,
I realize that no time is the perfect time for me to be sick, however, now is really not a good time for me.
Just wondering if we could reschedule this whole sore throat, runny nose, headache, coughing thing for another time.
Please let me know what time would work best for you so that I can arrange to be out of town and miss your visit completely.

Signed,
Seriously, I don't have time for this




Dear manufacturers of Mucinex,

First off, I would like to say how much I enjoy your product, it does what you say it will do, and to some extent, has offered me some relief from the symptoms of this stupid cold that I have not been enjoying for the last while.

Last week, I went to purchase a new package of Mucinex, when I discovered that not only do you have a regular strength, but now an extra strength!

I almost bought the extra strength because anything extra strength has got to be better than regular, right?

Upon further reading of the label, I discovered that your "extra strength" actually had twice the amount of active ingredients in each capsule, but you could only take 2 doses a day, whereas the regular strength has half the ingredients but you can take 4 doses a day.


Extra strength = 1200 mg per capsule x 2 doses per day.............total 2400 mg.


Regular strength= 600 mg per capsule x 4 doses per day..........total 2400 mg.





?????





Seriously? Who do you think you're fooling?

Signed,

The consumer who will continue to buy the less expensive regular strength.






Dear Lady sitting across from us at the restaurant,

Even though your bra straps are beige, we can still see them because you are wearing a halter top.

Seriously, you are not fooling anyone.

Signed,

The Fashion Police.





Dear Department of Transportation,

Why are you digging up all of the roads that I drive on?

Signed,

Late for everything due to the amount of road construction everywhere I go.

Dear middle aged man who just cut me off on the freeway,

Are you aware that the cute little red convertible that you are driving doesn't hide the fact that you are bald?

And fat.

Signed,
Not impressed




Dear Justin Bieber's hairstylist,

Stop that! Please!

Perhaps your talents would be better used on old fat men trying to hide their bald spots, in fact, the other day I was nearly hit on the road by a guy that could have used your services.

Signed,
Step away from the hair dryer!


Dear Diet Dr. Pepper,

You are awesome!

Signed,

Your jittery friend.

First day of Kindergarten (and other random stuff)

Last week was Max's first day of Kindergarten. 15 minutes before my alarm went off I woke up to Max's face, just inches from mine.........

"Hey mom! I'm awake now and I'm going to get dressed really fast so I can be ready for school!"

3.2 seconds later, he was back, completely dressed in his new school clothes.

"I'm ready to go now! Come on mom! Let's go! It's time for school!"

I talked him into waking up his siblings, who unfortunately, did not share his enthusiasm.

An hour later, I dropped the kids off at school. Max was so excited, he didn't even look back to wave at me.

3 hours later, I picked him up. As soon as he got in the car he said "Mom, I DIDN'T miss you, and I don't think you missed me either."

He was wrong. (I'm pretty sure he missed me)


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Yesterday I got an email from Twitter telling me that I had 5 new direct messages. It had a convenient link for me to click on so that I could sign in.

The funny thing is that I don't have a Twitter account.

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Yesterday a song came the radio and my kids freaked out "NO! NO! Turn it off, I can't stand this song!"

"Why?" I asked, don't you like the girl singing it?"

"It's not a girl!" they yelled, "It's Justin Beiber!"

Help solve the mystery

Last night around 9:00 p.m. our doorbell rang.
When we got to the door, there was no one there, however, three notes were left between the door and the screen door.

Note #1 said

What's your secret?

Note #2 said

I know you are in the witness protection program

And note #3 said

I know you are Aliens.



What do you think it all means?
Why was there no punctuation used on note #2?
Why does the note writer think that they know so much about us?
Why did they use three pieces of paper when they could have fit everything they needed to say onto one?
Why is this the most interesting thing I can find to blog about?


Why?

Why?

WHY?


Any of your ideas would be appreciated. Leave me a comment.

Thank you.





And just for the record, we are not Aliens, nor are we in the witness protection program. (Not that I would admit it if we were, because that would kind of defeat the purpose of the witness protection program now wouldn't it.)
(But we're really not.)

And the only secret that we might have would be that great big flying saucer in our shed, but I didn't tell you anything about it, mkay?

Truth or not??

A while back (longer than I care to admit, so I just won't admit it) Karlene at Inksplasher presented me with an award.

Since I've always wanted to be known as a boldfaced liar "Creative writer" I've decided to accept this award, and the way I do this is to tell six lies and one truth, then you, my friends, get to guess which one is the truth.

1. I met my husband on a blind date. Our grandmothers both got their hair done at the same salon and they got to talking and decided that we would be perfect for each other.

2. When I was younger, I was an avid skier. About every other weekend in the winter, I could be found on the slopes, I loved racing down the mountain, dodging other less experienced skiers.

3. I am allergic to avocados, one bite and my lips swell up like Angelina Jolie's.

4. Half of my children are left handed.

5. When I was a kid, we lived in the same neighborhood as Mark Eubank, the weatherman. (until he moved) This was before he donned the evil white snow coat.

6. I never, ever cut classes in school. Ever.

7. My first car was a blue Chevette. I had a stuffed Garfield sitting in the back window.

Which one is the truth? How did you come to this conclusion?

Leave your guesses in the comments, I'll reveal the one truth tomorrow..........

Or whenever.

Random....random....random......

Yesterday when I picked up Max from preschool he told us that the leprechauns had visited his classroom while they were at recess.
"Before we went out to recess my teacher poured some red juice for snack, and when we came back inside it was green, and there were footprints all over the floor and ceiling! They got into my teachers papers and mixed them up! They switched around all of the cubbies and then they dumped out all of the toys and we had to put everything away. The leprechauns just messeded everything up!"

I'm beginning to wonder if the leprechauns might just be living at our house.

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Max: "Hey mom! Do you want to hear me say a bad word?"

Me: (curious) "Ummm, sure?"

Max:: "A BAD WORD!"

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Max quote of the week.

"Plates are like bowls, only they don't have the inside part on top."

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A few days ago, we finally decided to let the kids get their own email addresses. Now they sit in different rooms and email random comments to each other.
Yesterday Brielle said "You know, I just thought of something. Instead of emailing each other, we could just walk into the other room and talk to each other."

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I recently noticed that my stash of Diet Dr. Pepper has been disappearing faster than I have been drinking them, however, nobody in the house will admit to swiping them.

I am currently watching everyone in the house VERY closely, to see who is the most awake.

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We finally got our new dishwasher and oven. I love how quiet the dishwasher is, it isn't nearly as loud as the kids complaining about having to hand wash the dishes.
My favorite dish washing related kid quote from the last two weeks......"But I can't hand wash the dishes because I don't know how!"

Somebody got a crash course in dish washing.

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I don't really like this time of year. Mother Nature comes out and says "Look, it's spring!" And I look around and the grass is getting green, my daffodils are starting to grow, I start to get all happy and warm..........
Then it snows and Mother Nature says "PSYCHE!"

I know you are out there. Identify yourselves!

It has just come to my attention that today is National De-Lurking day.

I have a stat counter installed on this blog, and I see that many people are reading, however, only a few are commenting.

Perhaps you are shy?

Perhaps the "A" key is broken on your keyboard and you aren't able to write a comment using only the other 4 vowels?

Perhaps you came here looking for ideas for show and tell at preschool, decorations for a garbage truck birthday party, or funny potty training quotes.

Perhaps you are working in a law office in Lincoln Nebraska, and you only have a few snippets of time each day to read a blog without being detected by your boss and so you don't have time to comment?

So now I say to you, dear blog lurkers, DE-LURK! Leave me a comment! (pretty please. I'm having a monumentally bad week and I could sure use some nice comments)

If you don't want to use your real name, sign in as your favorite famous person. This way, it looks like I have a bunch of famous people reading my blog.

If you don't know what to say, leave me some sort of random comment such as......

"The moldy bird flies at midnight"

"Purple porcupines with rabies attack me in my sleep!"

"Target hates me!!"

"Uninsured drivers who back up into the side of your car should be covered in honey and forced to sit on top of an anthill!"

Yeah, pretty much any random comment will do, keeping in mind that my kids do read my blog, so anything you write should be appropriate for them to read.

If you really want to make my day, sign in as somebody famous and leave a random comment.

Thank you.

Happy commenting!

My obligatory New Year's resolution post.

I hadn't planned on making any new Year's resolutions, mostly because, like everyone else, I will forget about them in about a day and a half.
However, I'm feeling a little bit left out, because it seems like everywhere I go on the internet, people are writing about all of the wonderful goals that they have for the year.

I'm a list maker. Every morning* I like to make a list of the things that I need/would like to accomplish throughout the day.
I LOVE crossing things off of my lists! I love it so much that sometimes if I do something that isn't on my list, I will write it down on the list just so I can cross it off. (lame, I know, but I like to be able to look at my list and feel like I've actually accomplished something during the day)
so it really shouldn't be hard for me to make a list of goals that I would like to accomplish this year. So, here it is, my New Year's resolution list!

1. Shave my legs. **
2. Put my ironing board away. ***
3. Attend more blogger lunches.

I can't think of another one, however, I do reserve the right to add more things to the list at a later time.****


I will keep everyone updated to let you know how things are coming along.








*OK, so not every morning, every other morning, or once a month or whatever.
**No, I will not tell you how long it's been. Don't judge me, it's cold here, and I'm grateful for the extra warmth.
***It's been sitting in my kitchen for a few days now. However, now that I think of it, maybe I should just leave it up, it could add to the counter space.
**** Later time = after I've already done something, I will add it to the list.

Calling all crafters

Today we spend the afternoon cleaning out and reorganizing our kitchen closet. This wasn't just a "go through and tidy things up" cleaning, but more of a get rid of everything that we really don't need cleaning.
Aaron really helped with this project and did a great job!

While we were sorting through all of the stuff in the closet, we found several boxes with clear plastic utensils in them. Actually, they were all knives.
Now here's the problem, when the manufacturers package these utensils, they give you equal amounts of knives, forks and spoons. Apparently, we don't use as many knives as we do forks and spoons.

I found a lot of plastic knives today.

I realize that the whole point of cleaning the closet was to get rid of things, but for some reason, I just can't throw away these knives. I can't help but think that there is some really cool craft that I could make with the obscene amount of plastic knives that we have in our house. (Did I mention that last month when we cleaned out our storage room, we found tons of them in there too?)
The question that I would like to ask everyone today is,

What on earth can I make with all of these plastic knives?

If someone comes up with a really good idea, I will make it. I might even start an etsy shop selling plastic knife crafts!!

Name that food! (Curses to you NaBloPoMo! I'm now blogging about unidentifiable food because I can't think of anything else to write about)

WARNING: Disgusting food photo ahead.

If you are prone to gagging, you my want to skip this one,

but please, still leave a comment.

Last week I found a bit of food somewhere.

Look at it closely and give me your best guess at what it is, or.............. was.

Bonus points if you can tell me where I found it. Extra bonus points if you can tell me how it got there.

Leave your guesses in the comments, the winner will receive the respect and admiration of their peers.

And yes, I'm pretty sure it's some form of food.

I'm really sorry. I will come up with a real post tomorrow, I promise.

And what's up with the weird font sizing in Blogger? Is anyone else having problems with this, or is it just me?

A bunch of random stuff because I can't organize my thoughts well enough to write an actual post.

This week we decided that Max has a brilliant career ahead of him as a personal trainer.

Why, do you ask?

Friday, Max asked CJ to do some pull-ups on the Iron Gym. CJ humored him and did one chin up, then started to walk away.

Max ran after him and yelled "NO! Come back! I wanted you to keep doing them FOREVER!"

Max has spent the last two weeks begging me to walk on the treadmill. Each day when he reminds me, I tell him that I'm too busy right now but I'll try to do it later. (and yes, blogging counts as being busy)

Later in the evening, he will come up to me and say "Mom, you didn't walk on the treadmill today, and I wanted you to walk on the treadmill! You need to go walk on the treadmill!"

And I will tell him that it's too late because it's bedtime and maybe I'll walk on the treadmill tomorrow.

Then he cries.

I have to tell you, having Jillian from Biggest Loser yell at you in the gym would be bad, however, it's nothing compared to the guilt felt knowing that you've just caused Max's big brown eyes to fill with tears.

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I really love the smell of my new Scentsy pomegranate/orange wax melting thingy.

I also really love the smell of a roast and vegetables in the crockpot.

The two smells together..............not so much.

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Speaking of smells, has anyone noticed that the April fresh scent of Downy has been changed? I really liked the old scent, the new one doesn't do much for me.

Why did they change it?

Why hasn't there been a huge outcry with email petitions circulating to change it back?

Why can't these people at Procter and Gamble just leave well enough alone?

Why can't they understand that IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T FIX IT?

As far as I'm concerned, this should be bigger than the whole "Old Coke, New Coke" fiasco.

I am currently looking for a new brand of fabric softener.

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If I seem a bit testy today, it might have to do with the weather.

It's getting cold, and I don't like being cold. Plus, I now have to make sure that all of the offspring are wearing coats and shoes and socks before they leave the house.

That's a whole lot more clothing to keep track of.

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Max can't decide what costume he wants for Halloween. At first he said he wanted to wear his crab costume from last year, causing me great happiness due to the fact that I wouldn't need to make him a new costume, however, in the last week, he has changed his mind several times.

First he said he wanted to be a puppy, then he said he wanted to be "Super Max" then he said he wanted to be Snoopy, then he said he wanted to be Jay from Men in Black, then he said he wanted to be a spider. Once he even said he wanted to be Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride. (Seriously, he does the cutest impression "My name is Inigo Montoya, you keeel my father now PREPARE TO DIE!")

Aaron will be wearing his costume from last year, and Brielle has a really cute costume idea that will be unveiled at her school Halloween party. (sorry, I've been sworn to secrecy)

CJ will be staying home handing out candy. I told him that he would be dressed as a vampire to do this, but instead, he will be dressed as a teenager who refuses to dress up for Halloween. I'm pretty sure he will eat all of the Reese's out of the candy bucket while we're gone Trick-or-treating with Max.

I suggested that CJ and Max dress up as the Jolly Green Giant and Little Sprout. CJ refused to do this, even before he found out that there would be tights involved.

Actually, he has never even heard of The Jolly Green Giant, I had to show him some of the old commercials on YouTube. (yes, this makes me feel incredibly old)

I will be dressed as a really tired mom who stayed up the entire night before making her kids costumes. I wear this costume every year.

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Speaking of feeling incredibly old, does anyone remember that television commercial for Imperial Margarine where someone would eat the margarine and a crown would appear on their head?

I can't tell you how disappointed I was when that never happened to me.

What ever happened to truth in advertising?

I'm sure some advertising executive, somewhere, thought that this would be a really great marketing campaign that would sell a ton of buttery spread, however, they obviously didn't realize that somewhere a little three year old kid would be devastated that she never got the stupid crown...............

On a related note, one of my main goals in life at age three was to find a way to fool Mother Nature. (seriously, it was!)

Also, there was also a few times where I might have tried to start an argument with the tub of margarine.

I'm beginning to wonder if I watched too much TV when I was three.

I think I'm also beginning to understand why I only buy real butter?

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Kid quote of the week

"You really know you're famous when they start putting your face on underwear."