Saturday, September 27, 2008

Jill's Jeopardy! The new game show!

Welcome to our new game show "Jill's Jeopardy"

(cue annoying theme song)

I'm your host Alex Trebeck!

Let's meet our new contestants!

First, we have CJ. Could you tell us a little bit about yourself?

CJ: "Hi Alex, I'm in seventh grade I like computers, pizza and sleeping in to the crack of noon."

Alex: "Great! Next we have Brielle"

Brielle: "Hi Alex! I'm ten years old I like anything pink and girly and I love to read and dance and draw and rollerblade and ride my bike and paint and sing and play the piano and make up plays and I love school and I don't like onions or mean kids or aliens from outer space and when I grow up I want to be either a pediatric cardiologist or the activities director for a cruise line or something like that because I have a lot of energy and a ton of great ideas and.......

Alex: "Thank you Brielle, but let's move along because this is only a 30 minute program. Our next contestant is Aaron, can you tell us a little about yourself?"

Aaron: "Hi Alex, I'm eight years old, and I like to clean stuff. I like to watch infomercials about cleaning products. If I win this game, I'm going to use my cash prize to buy myself one of those really cool floor polishing things, because that would be really cool!

Alex: "Um.........great! Our fourth contestant for Jill's Jeopardy is Max."

Max: "I'm a big boy! I also wearing underwear! I need some miwk! Please a please a please a please! I also pway wif my caws! I also hear the gwrarbage truck!! I know the alphabet song! I can also sing it for you A B C D E F G..........."

Alex: "Thank you Max. Now let's get started. When I give the answer, whoever is the first to hit the buzzer, they will get to answer. Please remember to phrase your answer the form of a question."

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "Max, please wait until I give the answer."

Max: "I also do like the buzzer!!"
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "No Max, not until AFTER I give the answer! CJ, you choose the first category."

Brielle: "Why does he get to go first? He always gets to go first? It's not fair!!!!"

CJ: "I'll take "Pet Peeves" for $200 Alex."

Alex: "The answer is stapler, tape and scissors."

Brielle: BUZZ "What are some things I like to use when I'm creating an art project"

Alex: "I'm sorry, while that might be true, it's not the answer that we're looking for"

Aaron: BUZZ "Stuff that can be used on a wall!"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, wrong answer and please remember to give your answers in the form of a question."

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
"I also like the buzzer!

CJ: BUZZ "What are things found in the kitchen drawer?"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, the correct question is "What are three things that your mom can never find when she really needs them because someone has used them and NOT returned them to the kitchen drawer." Sorry, no points. CJ, choose another category."

Brielle: "Hey wait, I want a turn!"

CJ: "I'll take "Say what" for $200 Alex.

Alex: "The answer is Get in the car!"

Aaron: "What does mom say when she wants us to sit down and watch television?"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, that's incorrect.

CJ: BUZZ "What does mom say a million times every morning?"

Alex: "Oh, so close, but not quite the answer that we're looking for."

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
I ALSO NEED TO GO POTTY!! I ALSO NEED TO GO POTTY! I ALSO NEED......

Alex: "Could someone please escort Max to the restroom?"

Brielle: BUZZ "What does mom say when she REALLY wants us to get in the car?"

Alex: "Yes! That's correct! When your mom says get in the car, she really wants you to get in the car!! Brielle, choose the next category please!"

Brielle: "I'll take "Hands off" for $400 Alex."

Alex: "Chocolate you might find hidden somewhere"

Brielle: "What is good to eat?"

Alex: "NO, I'm sorry."

CJ: "I think Brielle is right. When we find chocolate, no matter where it's hidden, I think we should get to eat it!"

Aaron: "Me too! Whenever I find chocolate hidden anywhere, I immediately eat it!"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, you all got that one wrong. The correct question is What should you never ever ever EVER eat? Now please, remember to buzz in before you give your answer!"

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
CHOKWIT MIWK! I ALSO DO WANT SOME CHOKWIT MIWK!!!!

Alex: "Aaron, your turn to choose a category."

Brielle: "Hey! I think it's my turn again! CJ got TWO TURNS! It can't be Aaron's turn yet!"

Aaron: "I'll take "Times of the day" for $300 Alex."

Alex: "10:30 p.m."

Aaron: BUZZ "What time does David Letterman come on TV?"

Alex: "Incorrect"

Brielle: BUZZ "What time does Jay Leno come on TV?"

Alex: "No. Sorry."

CJ: BUZZ "When is a good time to play the playstation 2?"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, the correct question is When is the worst time to start on your homework that's due the next day, inform your mom that you are out of clean underwear, or practice the trumpet?"

Aaron: "We need clean underwear?"

CJ: "Hey, it's a better time than say 7:30 a.m. right before we go to school."

Alex: "True, but I think the point being made here is that these things should happen WELL BEFORE 10:30 p.m."

Brielle: "Is it my turn to choose the category?"

Alex: "sure. whatever."

Brielle: "I'll take "Pet peeves" for $300!"

Alex: "Glasses half full of milk left on the table."

Brielle: "Hey, I'm not the one that does that!"

Aaron: "Well, it's not me either!"

CJ: "I always finish off my milk!"

Alex: "Buzzers people! Remember your buzzers!"

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "Moving along................

Aaron: "My turn?"

Alex: "whatever"

Aaron: "Thanks Alex. I'll take "Miracles" for $500!"

Alex: "The answer is: Clean dishes, clean kitchen, toys put away, all done without whining."


(silence)


(more silence)


Alex: "Anyone going to buzz in on this one? ...............Anyone?"

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
(giggle, giggle, giggle)

Alex: "Is anyone going to ANSWER this one?"

(more silence)

Alex: "OK, the correct question would be "What are three things that would make your mother extremely happy?

Aaron: "whoa."

Brielle: "Seriously?"

CJ: "Wow, I never thought of that."

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "Well, it looks like we're out of time. Please join us next week for the new game show WHEEL OF CHORES!"

38 comments:

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

This is fantastic. It's so funny how their perceptions of what moms REALLY want are totally warped. Thanks for the laugh.

b. said...

Soooo Funny and true and also brilliant!

utmomof5 said...

LOL!!! Now I know what game to play for FHE on Monday night!! :) Glad your house runs the same as mine. We just did the start the homework at 10:30pm thing this week!!

*MARY* said...

Awesome!
Did Alex Trebek really come to your house? Hope he didn't get mustache hairs all over.

Jo said...

OH my gosh! You are incredibly clever and FUNNY! I love you.

Busty LaRue said...

This is one of the best posts I've ever read! I can totally imagine Alex Trebeck's reaction to some of the answers, too. Very funny!

Kristina P. said...

This is hilarious! I only wish I had fake children so I could have written this post.

Melissa said...

I love it! That is awesome! I don't think any of my kids would get the answers right :)

Lisa said...

Okay, I knew you were very funny and smart, but you've outdone yourself here. HILARIOUS!

JustRandi said...

Hilarious!
"We need clean underwear?"
Classic.

Maraiya said...

Brilliant my dear friend. Have you let your children read this? Have they had that moment of epiphany in real life? And, more importantly, has it lead to any of these things changing (especially not eating your carefully hidden chocolate)?

Good luck. Only...15 more years to go?

Maraiya said...

Brilliant my dear friend. Have you let your children read this? Have they had that moment of epiphany in real life? And, more importantly, has it lead to any of these things changing (especially not eating your carefully hidden chocolate)?

Good luck. Only...15 more years to go?

Maraiya said...

oops, sorry about the double post. Totally operator error.

What can I say? I'm a smaht gurl.

Maraiya said...

At least I'm upping your comment count though. Always a good thing. And I haven't done that for awhile.

Maraiya said...

I'm thinking, though, that maybe I should stop. Too many comments combined with all these people telling you how smart and brilliant you are....I'm worried that your head will get too big and your pride will increase, and then you'll end up like those Nephites and they had a very sad ending...so I'm stopping now.

Maraiya said...

Because I want you to live.

Maraiya said...

Happily.

Maraiya said...

With God.

Maraiya said...

And not with prophets banging on your door telling you to repent or else.

Maraiya said...

Oh, was I supposed to be stopping?

Maraiya said...

Okay. Done.

Motorcycle Grandma said...

This post is brilliant and hilarious!! I remember those days so well.

Tausha said...

oh my heck-we play the same game at our house. We only have different contestants-u know
the girliest girls that love to fight and blame it on each other and just can't walk the extra foot to hang up their backbacks!
too funny of a post-you Jill are a fantastic writer! I love to come and read! You made my day!

Jen said...

The correct question is, who is my blogging hero?

MamaHenClucks said...

This was fantastic! I was laughing out loud!

Bonnie the Boss said...

Brilliant once again. Loved it!

Jessica G. said...

LOL! Are you submitting this one to Sue at Navel Gazing for the blog book? Seriously, you ought to submit one of yours!

Lois said...

Brava, brava, brava! Too funny for words. Loved it!

Lisa said...

Jill, I"m dying here, you're killin' me with your game shows and elephant eating contests. LOVE IT! I will definitely be returning to read this blog over and over again.

Elizabeth said...

You are HYSTERICAL. You had me laughing out loud...my kids think I'm nuts. I love your kid's self explanations and the answers are a riot....Max: I also need to use the potty!
Thanks for the pick me up today.
God Bless, E

Chelsee said...

I do not like that word. My Grandma Rowley has always said it differently then everyone else. Most people say it as if there is an "L" in it. IDK

Jen said...

That was a good one! I couldn't decide if I was reliving my childhood, or the last nine years as a parent:)

Thanks for visiting me!

Anonymous said...

That was brilliant.

Still Trying

Laura said...

I am doubled over laughing...ok - now, I am a bit uneasy...that jeopardy game could have been hosted at our house!!! Thanks for making me laugh!

The Littlest Hillbilly: said...

That was awesome! No. Seriously. AWESOME! I laughed over how true it all was.

ed said...
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ed said...
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