Sunday, March 23, 2008

A Sunday poem

Twisting
Stretching
Pulling
Yanking
Until I hear a "snap"

Working my way into this most awful, beastly trap.

Jumping
Kicking
Cursing
As I'm working up a sweat.

Tugging
Squishing
Smashing
Cause I'm not quite there just yet.

Wriggle
Wiggle
Jiggle
Now I'm hopping in one place.

Holding in my breath
while sweat is dripping down my face.

Here I stand

TRIUMPHANT

As I smile and take a pose.

You see, I've finally done it!

I've put on my pantihose!

By Jill

17 comments:

Laura said...

I just snorted out loud! Thanks for sharing - love it! So true!!!

utmomof5 said...

LOL!!!! Glad it is not just me. :)

Jen said...

That is profound. You're the next Dickinson. I've discovered the joy of maternity hose this pregnancy, and my quality of life has improved vastly.

Jessica G. said...

LOL! That's classic!
This is the reason I haven't worn hose in years!

It's Just me! said...

I can totally relate to that and I had to chuckle! The unfortunate part is that because of all the Easter candy I've consumed, I think that describes me getting into my jeans too!

Jules said...

That is a GREAT post. LOL! Good job!

And (in a whispered aside) I absolutely hate wearing hose and the drooping-down-between-your-legs feeling that comes with them. UG!

Davis Family said...

This is too funny! It's exactly how I feel every Sunday. The price we pay for beauty.

Jo said...

I am laughing out loud! You are so clever and funny! Way to go.

Bonnie said...

Brilliant! my kids have come in the room while I am doing this and they just stare with their mouths open,or say "Mom, what are you doing?" with a look of confusion.
My huband laughs at me. I tell him to go eat rocks. On top of all that they are not the most comfortable thing on the planet. Have you ever read what Erma Bombeck says about them? Way funny.

Melissa said...

That was too funny!! I don't wear them since we moved... it's too hot. I know, lame excuse, but I'll take it! :)

Bonnie said...

By the way the thing by Erma Bombeck is found in her book "At wit's end" under the title creeping underware.

Leah said...

ha ha! I was expecting it to be a tight pair of jeans or something...LOL Can you tell I haven't worn pantihose in FOREVER??? LOL!!

Marilyn said...

I nominate you to be the next Dr. Seuss! Awesome poem.

Carolyn said...

This made me giggle. Funny!

Damama T said...

HEY! NO FAIR! MARILYN TOOK MY ANSWER!!! Copycat! <= Didn't want you to get to missing your Sunbeams too much just yet! ;o)

But really - Dr. Seuss MOVE OVER!

LisaC said...

What is it with those things?? The sizing on the package is a complete, total lie.

Carolyn said...

you haven't fought pantyhose until you've tried to put on compression maternity panty hose. those things are the tightest things i've ever squeezed into! but man oh man do they feel great on my poor pregnant body. :-)