Pavlov and the angry young man

 Just over two years ago we welcomed a new member to our family, a cute little black Lab/blue heeler puppy.
Her name is Lucy, AKA "Lucy the wonder puppy" (however, we call her Lucille when she's in trouble.)

When we were first deciding to get a puppy I didn't really want a big dog. We learned that the dog of a family I knew just had a surprise litter* and there were 7 puppies that would be available for adoption. Aaron did the research and averaging out the size of a Lab (25%) and a blue heeler, (75%) he estimated that she would end up being 39.75 lbs full grown. (he practically promised this)

Either Aaron's facts or his math was off, because at last weigh in, our girl weighs 63 lbs.

Lucy is super smart, and we've been able to teach her a bunch of cool tricks! She also manages to outsmart us on a daily basis. One of her favorite things to do is what we call "distract and snack." This usually happens at dinnertime, Lucy will ring the bell on the back door to go outside, and when we open the door, she runs back to the dinner table and grabs the food off our plate.

The sad part is that we keep falling for this trick.

Aaron started picking up his plate and taking it with him to open the door. Lucy is not amused.

One of Lucy's favorite things to do is to go to the dog park. When we ask her if she wants to go there, she runs in circles, barks, howls, then runs to the laundry room where we keep her leash.
When we get in the car, she continues with the excited barking, woofing, and howling. When we cross the train tracks that are close to the park she's practically screaming with excitement.
When we arrive, she drags us to the gate and once inside she does the ceremonial sniff and greet, then spends the next while running, sniffing and jumping over the other dogs.
We love the dog park because when we get home she's so tired that she sleeps for a long time and doesn't steal food off the table.

When CJ takes Lucy to the dog park, he likes to play music. I'm not sure how this started, but the first song he plays in his car is "Fooling yourself" by Styx.
This has happened enough times that Lucy associates the song with going to the dog park. If we happen to be listening to Styx in the house, as soon as the first few notes of Fooling yourself plays, Lucy runs in circles, barks, howls, then runs to the laundry room.
The worst is when we're out in the car going somewhere besides the dog park and this song comes on the radio.
Have you ever heard a dog scream?

Oh, the looks we get.....

So apparently, during this "stay at home/social distancing" I've become bored enough to write a blog post. All of the kids are home for now, and providing hours of fun and snarky quotes. I may be back to write another post later. (The burping contests have resurfaced)



* When we first got Lucy, I was angrily berated by a woman who was disgusted that 1) someone's dog was not fixed, resulting in a "surprise" litter, and b) we didn't adopt from a shelter. The dog in question lives in a very rural area with a large fenced in yard. They said she got out of the yard once for about 1/2 hour. They literally didn't know the dog was pregnant until the day she started popping them out. (Plus, they were distracted by the fact that they were expecting their own little human baby in a few weeks) Also, I feel that every puppy deserves a good home.

Amazonesia

Amazonesia: A condition where you order so many things from Amazon that when the package arrives, you can't actually remember what you bought.



I picked up Max from school a few days ago and when we got home there was a package on our doorstep. I had ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon over the weekend, so I wasn't surprised to see the package.
I went to the front  porch and tried to pick up the medium sized package, and it was so heavy! I picked it up and lugged it into the house, wondering what on earth I bought that would weigh that much!


I opened the package and......

Weights. I bought weights.

Look! It's a bird! It's a plane!........... No it's a bunch of donkeys flying around!!

So apparently I kind of miss blogging.

I could go on and on with excuses of the reasons why I haven't written anything on here for such a long time, but nobody wants to read excuses.

Since it's November 1st, I decided I could try for NaBloPoMo.

Yeah, we'll just see how long this lasts. Any guesses?

To start it all off, I think I'll do a top 10 list.

(drumroll please)

Top Ten perfectly believable reasons* why I haven't written a blog post in over a year.


10. Got stuck in a check out line at Wal Mart

9. Abducted by Aliens.

8. I forgot my google password **

7. Got stuck on a level of Angry Birds.

6. Been training to be a cage fighter.

5. I can't get on the computer because the children are always using it for their homework ***

4. Spending all of my time waiting around for the UPS guy to actually deliver a package instead of a nice little note saying that he couldn't deliver the package because I wasn't home to sign for the package even though I was actually home so if he had actually rang the doorbell I might have come to the door and signed the thing so he could leave the package.

3. Obsessing over my stat counter, trying to determine how many people ended up on my blog by doing a search for a picture of a spleen****

2. I just woke up, and all of last year was a dream.

And the number one reason I haven't written a blog post in over a year.............

Netflix.



*Notice how I use the word "reasons" instead of excuses. Reasons are legitimate.
**I blame the aliens for this one
*** And if you replace "homework" with "YouTube videos" or "Pinterest" this one could be rather accurate.
****It's much higher than you might think.



So there you have it my first post in a long while.
I'll be back tomorrow.

Or not.

And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats..............

 Alternate title:  "Giving in to assimilation"


Several years ago, I wrote a post about technology. I might have likened people using hands free Bluetooth headsets to the Borg from Star Trek.

You have to admit, it's a little scary.

I used to silently (and sometimes not so silently) mock the people who wore these devices in public. 

I thought they looked silly.

 Because, seriously, they had to have those things stuck in their ear all the time, I began to wonder if some of them had actually had these devices surgically installed in their brains.

They were everywhere, the grocery store, restaurants, sporting events, these people were everywhere!

Then my husband decided that I should have one for my phone so my hands would be free so I could talk on the phone while driving or working.

At first I didn't think it would make that much difference, (and I don't get that many calls while in the car anyway) but then I tried the headset.

(choirs of angels singing)

I was immediately converted to the use of this funny looking little gadget, especially when I discovered that I could use it to watch movies and listen to music from my phone. No more getting bored while waiting at the orthodontist or dentist! (or anywhere else)

The best part is that my hair is long enough that it covers the device and no one can see that I'm using it!

Then random people started talking to me out of the blue. Apparently, when people can't see the Bluetooth, they automatically assume that I'm talking to them, which I guess is understandable.....

Then last week my brother called me and handed the phone to his super adorable, newly potty trained 2 1/2 year old daughter. I had a conversation with her while walking into the store. I noticed that people were giving me strange looks and I thought they were being rude.

Until I realized that they were only hearing my side of the conversation.

"Wow! Big girl underwear are awesome! You're such a big girl, using the potty! I'm so proud of you for using the potty! I think daddy should give you a treat for being such a big girl!" 

Perhaps I shall start wearing my hair in a ponytail.

Dying for Pop Tarts

Last week Aaron went on a backpacking trip with his scout troop. Each scout had to bring all of the food they would be eating for the few days they were camping. I bought him multiple things that didn't need to be refrigerated including a box of Pop Tarts, which is a treat that I don't usually buy.
A few days ago, Brielle was complaining that I had bought Pop Tarts for Aaron, but I wouldn't buy them for anyone else.
Brielle: "Why won't you buy Pop Tarts for the rest of us?"
Me: "Because they aren't good for you, they're mostly just sugar."
Brielle: "But you bought them for Aaron!"
Me "That was because it was one of the few things that didn't need to be refrigerated that he could take with on his camping trip. Besides, they were on sale."
Brielle: "Will you buy some for me?"
Me: "I already said NO!"
Brielle: "OK, let's say that you HAVE to buy Pop Tarts for one of us, which one would you choose, me or Aaron?'
Me: "Max. I would buy them for Max, he can stand to gain some weight."
Brielle: "But what if there was a situation where you were dying and you had to buy Pop Tarts for either me or Aaron to be able to live, which one of us would you buy the Pop Tarts for?"
Me: "Seriously? In what type of a situation would I need to buy Pop Tarts for you to save my own life?"
Brielle: "???????????"
Me: "I guess if I was in that situation I would buy them for myself, because if I'm dying anyway, it won't really matter if I'm eating something unhealthy, right?"

Tease me about my age and I'll beat you with my cane!

I was recently looking through some pictures posted on Facebook by a friend I grew up with. She had been to a party with a bunch of people we had known in high school, many of whom I hadn't seen since we graduated.
As I clicked through the photos, noticing wrinkles, a few extra pounds and some receding hairlines, I was struck by how much some of them looked like their parents.

Then I realized that we are now the same age that our parents were when we were in high school.

YIKES!!

Soon after that, my husband's uncle posted a "Happy anniversary" message to his wife on Facebook. 39 years!
I mentioned this to my husband  who did some math in his head and told me "We've been married as long as they were when we got married." (our 20 year anniversary is this December)

Somehow, back then they seemed so much older and wiser than I feel right now.
They had teenagers back then, how could we be as old as they were? I asked myself, then quickly realized that we have two teenagers, and another kid dangerously close to being one.

I need to spend less time on Facebook. It keeps making me think I'm old.......

Snippets

*A few days ago Brielle said that someone should invent liquid bacon, so you can drink it and pour it on stuff.

*Aaron discovered that if he hooks the water balloon attachment for the hose onto the pump for the air mattress, he can make a really annoying noise for a really long time........

*As we were leaving the very crowded, very hot parade on the 4th of July, I overheard a lady talking to her kids, she said "We all make mistakes in life, and coming here is one of them!"

*Aaron was making a project using plumber's putty (don't ask) and Max asked him what it was. Aaron explained how it was used and Max says "Oh, so it's like toilet glue!"

*I recently checked the stat counter on my blog and was excited to find that the number of people coming here has tripled!
At first I just assumed that I was becoming more popular, but after further examination I learned that an freakishly large amount of people do online searches for photos of a spleen.

*Speaking of spleens, my spleen has been feeling much better (thank you for asking) and for the last week I will randomly walk past one of my kids, yell "SPLEEN CHECK" and poke them in the ribs.
Great fun!

*A few days ago Max lost one of his top front teeth, he now looks even more adorable and talks with a whistle. He said that it's difficult to say the words ttthhhhh, ssssss and ffffffff.

*Why is it that when children have recently lost a tooth and you try to get a picture of their cute new smile, they always stick their tongue through the gap where the tooth used to be?

*Max has spent the last few years of his life building things with his large duplo bloks. Recently, he has discovered Lego blocks, so we can no longer walk around the house barefoot.

*My teenage son needs to get a job (do you have any idea how much it costs to buy car insurance for a 16 year old boy?) unfortunately, he has a very busy schedule with band this summer and doesn't really have time for a job. Any ideas where he can apply for work?

*Aaron just got a remote control helicopter which is at this very moment, hovering dangerously close to my head.

*We love Netflix because we can watch entire seasons of television shows, back to back without commercial interruptions. My boys have recently discovered the Dr. Who series and have watched the first four seasons already.
Yesterday Max told me that for Halloween he wants to dress up as the TARDIS.

*Max is a very good reader and has recently started reading chapter books on his own. He is now standing next to the computer, reading as I type and "correcting" everything he doesn't agree with.
Seriously, more annoying than autocorrect.