Tease me about my age and I'll beat you with my cane!

I was recently looking through some pictures posted on Facebook by a friend I grew up with. She had been to a party with a bunch of people we had known in high school, many of whom I hadn't seen since we graduated.
As I clicked through the photos, noticing wrinkles, a few extra pounds and some receding hairlines, I was struck by how much some of them looked like their parents.

Then I realized that we are now the same age that our parents were when we were in high school.

YIKES!!

Soon after that, my husband's uncle posted a "Happy anniversary" message to his wife on Facebook. 39 years!
I mentioned this to my husband  who did some math in his head and told me "We've been married as long as they were when we got married." (our 20 year anniversary is this December)

Somehow, back then they seemed so much older and wiser than I feel right now.
They had teenagers back then, how could we be as old as they were? I asked myself, then quickly realized that we have two teenagers, and another kid dangerously close to being one.

I need to spend less time on Facebook. It keeps making me think I'm old.......

Technology kills productivity........

Earlier today I was helping Brielle make a double batch of sugar cookies using my grandma's super delicious sugar cookie recipe.

Once the dough got too stiff for the mixer, I dumped the dough into a larger bowl, got out the large wooden spoon and stirred in the last of the flour.

"I just remembered why I don't like making sugar cookies" I said "I really don't like having to stir all this dough by hand."

Brielle said "I bet your grandma didn't have an electric mixer to mix the dough in the first place. Was she a very patient person?"

"Yes she was, in fact, she nursed twins until they were 18 months old, and during that time still managed to take care of her two other small children, make bread, do laundry, keep the house clean, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, take care of a garden, can vegetables from the garden and she even crocheted a queen size bedspread!"

Brielle chuckled and said "Obviously, she didn't have Facebook."

Slow news day.....

I haven't had much to blog about the last few days, so here's a post I wrote several years ago.

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61 bits of wisdom

One thing I have learned from being a parent is that my kids will always find some way to blame me for everything that has gone wrong in their lives.

Here are 61 other things that I have learned since I have become a mom.

1. It IS possible for a two year old to memorize three ENTIRE episodes of Spongebob. (Does that make me a bad mom?)
2. A band-aid will make a bruise feel better.
3. Whenever you really do need a band-aid, they will be all gone.
4. A two year old can get the lid off of a huge, brand new Costco bottle of shampoo, and dump it all down the drain without making a single sound.
5. Your child who will always eat ANYTHING will suddenly decide that lasagna is "yucky" while you are visiting your inlaws, and your MIL has spent the entire day making homemade lasagna.
6. If you decide to go ahead and get the really expensive front row seats for the circus, so your two year old can see everything up close, he will fall asleep in the first ten minutes, and miss the whole thing.
7. No matter where you hide your make up, it will never be safe from your toddler.
8. Two year old girls believe that mascara goes directly on their cheeks, eyeliner on their lips, and lipstick is to be firmly twisted inside the cap.
9. It is possible to get nail polish out of hair.
10. The worse the word your child has learned, the more likely he is to use it during a quiet moment in church. (In my defense, he learned the word from a neighbor and made up a little song with it. Sang it in church, he did)
11. Macaroni is flammable.
12. As soon as you take your sick, feverish, limp and listless child to the doctor, the fever will disappear, and the child will run around the waiting room at full speed.
13. Even if you are positive that your baby does not know how to drink from a straw, they will figure it out if you let them chew on the straw in your Diet Coke, and you won't notice until almost half of it is gone.
14. Caffeine will keep babies awake.
15. WD 40 removes crayon from walls.
16. Tape will not fix broken crayons.
17. Tape will not fix broken crackers.
18. A toddler does not understand that tape will not fix broken crayons or crackers.
19. You will always be out of tape.
20. Babies do not like it when you are wearing a clean shirt.
21. A child can survive indefinitely eating nothing but mac-n-cheese.
22. If a child leans on the screen door long enough, it WILL break, and you will spend the next 3 hours in the emergency room getting his chin stitched up.
23. If you leave a toddler alone just long enough to go to the bathroom, he will climb on the kitchen table, and fall off, and you will spent the next two hours going to the doctor to get the gash in his ear glued back together.
24. If you have toys scattered all over the floor, and you buy a nice toybox to put all the toys in, the kids will take all the toys out of the toybox and scatter them on the floor, so they can play IN the toybox.
25. Even if you feed your kids a full seven course meal right before you take them to grandma's house, as soon as they walk in the door, they will be hungry.
26. Grandma will always feed the kids anything they want.
27. Even though the diaper box says "Up to 10 pounds" the diaper won't really hold that much poop.
28. It's not a good idea to wash disposable diapers.
29. If you do accidentally wash a disposable diaper, it takes forever to get all of the little gel pieces off of the clothes, and out of the washer.
30. Polly Pocket shoes are edible.
31. Bananas don't flush.
32. Polly Pocket clothes do.
33. Toothbrushes flush just far enough that you can't reach in and pull them out, but not so far that they won't cause the toilet to clog.
34. It costs over $200.00 for a plumber to come in and remove two toilets from the floor, and retrieve the toothbrushes.
35. Toddlers don't really care where a toothbrush has been.
36. A sequin can make it all the way through a child's digestive system.
37. Even if a child swears that they have no homework, they usually do.
38. If you think that a child might have homework, look in the cabinet under the bathroom sink, or under the cushions on the couch, you will probably find it there.
39. Spend the extra money for the leather seats in your car. It's so much easier to clean up if you have kids who are prone to carsickness.
40. Always travel with a bucket, a roll of paper towels, and a can of Lysol.
41. If you give your children Benadryl because your doctor recommends it for carsickness, it will just make them throw up purple.
42. Apparently, I don't know anything.
43. A twelve year old boy can eat an entire pizza.
44. It's always my fault when someone can't find their shoes.
45. Children really like to play with the controls on the refrigerator, so your lettuce will always be frozen.
46. After your child gets himself a popcicle always check the freezer in the garage to make sure the door is closed so it won't stay open all night, and you lose a freezer full of frozen food.
47. You will never know where all of your pens are.
48. While potty training, a child can sit on the potty for an hour and nothing will happen until 5 minutes after you put a diaper back on him.
49. Floods happen.
50. Butter isn't just for eating.
51. A toddler considers themselves fully dressed if they are wearing nothing but a hat, gloves and cowboy boots.
52. Toddlers like to undress themselves pretty much anywhere.
53. It is possible for a four year old to trash your internet off of your computer.
54. Four year olds think it's funny to watch mommy scream because they have trashed the internet from the computer.
55. Computer passwords are a good thing.
56. Kid's safety scissors can cut more than you might think.
57. Never leave any important documents where a toddler can get to them.
58. Toddlers love paper shredders.
59. No matter how many times you put your books away in the bookshelves, five minutes later, they will be all over the floor.
60. If you just got new tile, and you haven't sealed the grout yet, and a child gets tired of his grape popcicle, and puts it in a cup, the popcicle will melt, the cup will spill onto the unsealed grout, and it will leave a stain.
61. No matter what I have learned from having my kids, I wouldn't trade them for anything!!

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My kids are older now, and over the last few years they've taught me many more little bits of wisdom. Tune in next time to see what they are.

It's a carnival!

Because I'm such a follower, and because I haven't been able to come up with anything to blog about lately, I've decided to join a blog carnival!

The theme of this carnival includes lots of hairspray, makeup so thick that it could double for stucco on your house, and a soft focus lens.

So here it is, my entry for the blog carnival, my Glamor shots photo. (I actually had it taken at The Coverlook, I hope that's OK)

Yes, this is me, or at least how I looked many years ago with more products in my hair than my family will now use in an entire year.
I hope you enjoy this photo, because it might be the only one I post of myself on this blog, and really, it's not much different than how I look every day when I go out into public. (Just take away the big hair, makeup, add some crows feet, sweats and a few pounds and I look practically the same)
The thing I remember most about the day I had this picture taken was what happened after I left the photography studio.I went with my mom to the grocery store, (I still had most of the makeup and hairdo in place) and as we were walking down the isle, a teenage boy walked past us. He was a store employee and passed us, pushing a very large cart with items to be stocked on the shelf. I noticed that he was staring at me, and he must have continued staring because he ran the cart into the end display of cereal boxes and knocked them all over.
Yes, we still laugh about that.
If you have one of these photos, or any photo involving really big hair or a peach sweater, please head on over to Kristina's blog and add yourself to the list. (Please don't let me be alone in my humiliation)
Also, you can check out all of the others who have been brave enough to post their photos. I hear that someone is actually going to post the glamor shot of her ex boyfriend!
Come and join the fun!!

And if you are a Facebook friend of mine, yes, this is my profile picture, only larger, with more pixels.

The answers you've all been waiting for. Or at least mildly interested in.

A few days ago I posted about 6 lies and one truth and let everyone guess which one was the truth.
I'll go through each one and explain.

1. I met my husband on a blind date. Our grandmothers both got their hair done at the same salon and they got to talking and decided that we would be perfect for each other.

This one was false. We actually met at a Friday night church dance. As far as I know, our grandmothers met for the first time at our wedding.

2. When I was younger, I was an avid skier. About every other weekend in the winter, I could be found on the slopes, I loved racing down the mountain, dodging other less experienced skiers.

I have never been skiing in my entire life. I hate being cold, and I would most likely run into the other skiers or any random tree that I might find.

3. I am allergic to avocados, one bite and my lips swell up like Angelina Jolie's.

I love avocados. I can eat them without being in danger of looking like any celebrity.

4. Half of my children are left handed.

False, but this was a tricky one. Actually three fourths of my kids are left handed.

5. When I was a kid, we lived in the same neighborhood as Mark Eubank, the weatherman. (until he moved) This was before he donned the evil white snow coat.

False. However, my cousins did live in the same neighborhood as the Eubank family. And I'm currently not very happy with the stupid snow coat.

6. I never, ever cut classes in school. Ever.

True. I NEVER cut classes. Because I was a model student and would never break the rules. (besides, I didn't have a car)

7. My first car was a blue Chevette. I had a stuffed Garfield sitting in the back window.

False. My first car was actually a 1984 white Trans Am with T tops. I did, however, have the stuffed Garfield attached to the back window. I bought him in Hawaii, so he was wearing a grass skirt which fell apart and the pieces flew around in the back of my car for a while.

So, if you guessed that I was telling the truth about not cutting classes, you guessed correctly.

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Today is the second day of Spring break for the kids. Yesterday, I took them to IKEA. We wandered around for a while, bought a few kitchen gadgets then had hot dogs for lunch. We even brought home a pan of cinnamon rolls :0)

Last night, the boys figured out a way to hook the video camera into the main television antenna for the house, so when we turn any TV in the house on channel 3, we get a view of whatever the camcorder is looking at.
They spent a significant amount of time watching the wall in the basement. The interesting part was that no matter how long they watched it, it didn't do anything different.
Then they took turns running down to the basement and doing something goofy in front of the camera.
Next, they hooked it up to the DVD player, so they could play a movie to every TV in the house. Last night I found them all huddled around the 13" television, watching a movie. Unfortunately, with this set up, the picture isn't very clear, it's kind of fuzzy.
The thing is, we have a perfectly good TV and DVD player upstairs in the family room, which has a nice high quality picture to watch.

I don't get it.

Truth or not??

A while back (longer than I care to admit, so I just won't admit it) Karlene at Inksplasher presented me with an award.

Since I've always wanted to be known as a boldfaced liar "Creative writer" I've decided to accept this award, and the way I do this is to tell six lies and one truth, then you, my friends, get to guess which one is the truth.

1. I met my husband on a blind date. Our grandmothers both got their hair done at the same salon and they got to talking and decided that we would be perfect for each other.

2. When I was younger, I was an avid skier. About every other weekend in the winter, I could be found on the slopes, I loved racing down the mountain, dodging other less experienced skiers.

3. I am allergic to avocados, one bite and my lips swell up like Angelina Jolie's.

4. Half of my children are left handed.

5. When I was a kid, we lived in the same neighborhood as Mark Eubank, the weatherman. (until he moved) This was before he donned the evil white snow coat.

6. I never, ever cut classes in school. Ever.

7. My first car was a blue Chevette. I had a stuffed Garfield sitting in the back window.

Which one is the truth? How did you come to this conclusion?

Leave your guesses in the comments, I'll reveal the one truth tomorrow..........

Or whenever.

I seem to have fallen into a giant, deep, dark hole from which I may never be able to climb out

Yes, it's true............................











I've joined Facebook.

We don't need no stinkin' Wii

A while ago, when we cleaned out our storage room, the kids found my husband's old Pong game that he had as a kid.
They have been playing it ever since.
We have a Playstation 2 and various other plug and play game systems, but they have been playing Pong.
Last night the kids stayed at Grandma's house, they discovered our old Atari console and game cartridges and brought them home. As soon as we came in the door, they rigged it up to our TV and they've been playing Playing Pac Man, Space invaders and Donkey Kong.

As of now, I don't see the point of buying the Wii, the Playstation 3 or the X box that the kids have been hinting that they would like.

Forgiveness isn't always easier to get than permission

Alternate title to this post: Indigestion, anyone?

Back when I was growing up, we had a huge cherry tree in our back yard. Each year this tree produced an unbelievable amount of dark red, juicy delicious cherries.
One year, the tree became infested with worms. For the next several years, no matter what kind of dangerous chemicals we sprayed the tree with, the stupid little critters wouldn't go away and we weren't able to eat the cherries because of the bonus worm protein contained inside.
(I guess technically we could have eaten them, but EWWWWWW!)

My aunt and uncle lived directly behind us, and when we had our fence built, we installed a gate between our two yards to make it easy to visit each other.
One day, my cousin came home from school to see her dad, my uncle, sitting in front of the TV, snacking on a huge bowl which was halfway filled with cherries.
"Hey Dad" she said "Where did you get the cherries?"
"I got them next door." He replied, waving his hand toward our house.
I really would have loved to see the look on his face when she told him
"Um, didn't you know those cherries have worms in them?"



He had eaten over half of the bowl.


Moral of the story:
Always get permission before stealing fruit.

Favorite books

I just read posts by b and Compulsive Writer. They posted photos of themselves when they were little and talked about their favorite books when they were that age.

Here's mine.



Note the fetching ensemble that I'm wearing. Nothing says high fashion as much as a pantsuit with huge, mismatched flowers all over it. Also check out that really cool bean bag. We loved that thing! Right up to the time when somebody (probably my brother because I would never have done this) unzipped the bag and let out a bunch of the little styrofoam "beans" that were full of static electricity and stuck all over everything. My mom was vacuuming those puppies up for ages!
And check out that orange carpet............

I was five and had just started kindergarten.
At that time I was a big fan of Dr. Seuss. I had several of his books memorized.
"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish..........."

That year I remember my kindergarten teacher taking us to the library to check out books. There was one particular book that I checked out on several occasions. It was about a little Japanese girl. What I remember most about the book was how beautiful the illustrations were. And my mom asking me to please choose a different book next time because she was tired of reading that one to me.

A funny thing that happened that year - Our kindergarten class was working silently in our programmed readers, and one of the pages had the word "bottom" on it. We snickered, whispered and giggled because of the word "bottom."

As I got older, I was reading constantly. I loved the Ramona series by Beverly Cleary, and also the Little House series.
Eventually I read Nancy Drew, The Hardy boys and Encyclopedia Brown.

My kids are now reading and enjoying these same books.