1. Have a sewing project that needs to be finished the next day.
2. Sit down at the sewing machine and discover that you are out of red thread.
3. Look at the clock. It says 9:02 p.m. The fabric stores have just closed.
4. That's OK, they sell thread at Wal Mart, so you get in the car and drive over there.
5. Go straight to the sewing department and get a spool of red thread.
7. Walk past the notions isle and remember that your seam ripper broke a few days ago so you pick up a new one.
8. Buy some pins too because one can never have too many pins.
9. As you are walking towards the checkout stand, get a call from your husband, who tells you that you're out of milk, and could you buy some more.
10. Go get a cart because you don't want to carry the cold jugs of milk around the store.
11. Walk past a display filled with cinnamon scented pine cones. Imagine how nice and festive they will make the house smell. Pick up a bag of those.
12. Walk through the produce department. Buy some zucchini to make more zucchini bread.
13. Walk through the bakery department. They have cookies. You look at your two favorite kinds of cookies and can't decide what kind to get.
14. Buy two different kinds of cookies.
15. Finally get to the dairy department and see that the milk is on sale. Get 4 gallons.
16. Remember that you're out of butter. Put some butter in the cart.
17. Start to walk to the check stand, and see the kids clothes. SOCKS! Your toddler needs socks. go get a package.
18. Remember that your niece's birthday is next week. Go to the toy department and find the noisiest, most annoying toy that you can, and put it in the cart.
19. Giggle as you walk away, thinking of how annoyed your brother will be having to listen to this toy.
20. Suddenly feel sorry for your SIL and go back to the toy department to get something less obnoxious.
21. Shampoo! you're out of shampoo! Go get some.
22. The spray gel is on sale. Buy two.
23. And a new brush because someone borrowed yours and lost it.
24. Walk through the isles with the Christmas decorations. See a wreath that would look great on the front door. Put that in the cart too.
25. Go get in the shortest check stand line.
26. The lady in front of you has a coupon for everything. This gives you time to look at all of the nifty items they have for sale right there.
27. Get an umbrella to keep in the car because last week you got caught in the rain without one.
28. Get another umbrella because they're only $2.00 each!
29. The lady in front of you is trying desperately to use her debit card, but can't remember her PIN.
30. Toss some nail clippers in your basket.
31. The lady in front of you is now counting out $48.00 in fives, ones, quarters, dimes nickles and pennies.
32. Grab a package of Tic Tacs and a tube of Chap Stick.
33. Finally get through the check stand and haul all of your purchases out to the car.
34. Drive home wondering how you just spent over $100.00 when all you came for was a spool of thread.
I guess it was a really good thing that when I sat down to sew and discovered that I needed red thread, it was only 8:00p.m. and the fabric store was still open;0)
But I still had to drive over to the grocery store later to get some milk.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Vegetable cake
In yet another attempt to get Max to ingest a vegetable, I came up with a new plan.
Today I would make zucchini bread.
I had a few zucchinis in the fridge and decided that they weren't really going anywhere so I searched online for a recipe.
I found one that sounded really good and printed it off.
It said that the prep time was 15 minutes and baking time 60-70 minutes.
Now I realize that the prep times on the recipe are highly optimistic and probably determined by someone in a very tidy test kitchen who not only has all of the ingredients right in front of them and doesn't need to search through the closet to find the other bottle of vanilla because the first one ran out and someone put it back instead of throwing the empty bottle away, and they most likely had all of their bowls, dishes, spoons and utensils sitting right in front of them all clean and shiny so they didn't have to hand wash them due to the fact that even though someone did their job and put the dishes in the dishwasher last night, they didn't bother to turn it on and the test kitchen people probably didn't have a toddler in the room with them..........
So I figured that to be more realistic, I would allow closer to 30-40 minutes to mix up the batter.
I look at the clock. It is 9:30 a.m. I figure that by 11:30, I would be enjoying a nice warm slice of zucchini bread.
The recipe said it made 2 loaves, and I decided that I should double it because I have this theory on cooking.
"It should take longer to eat it than it takes to make it."
This is the reason why I double recipes. Six dozen cookies will last much longer than three dozen cookies.
Am I right?
I watched an episode of Martha Stewart once where she spent like 3 hours making 6 cookies.
She carefully mixed up and rolled out the dough.
She took a leaf which she had carefully hand picked from her yard and then thoroughly cleaned
and laid it gently on top of the dough which had been rolled out to a thickness of exactly 1/4 of an inch. She then took a sharp knife and very precisely cut out the dough using the leaf as a pattern. Next, she took the back of the knife and very artistically drew in the veins of the leaf in the top of the dough.
She placed two cookies on each cookie sheet (they were large) and baked them.
After she took them out of the oven, while they were still warm, she gently lifted them off of her silpat lined cookie sheet and draped them over a large tube so that when the cookie cooled, it would be curved.
Just like a real leaf.
Then she took a pastry bag and with perfectly tinted icing, outlined the veins in the leaf cookies.
In comparison, at our house, we make drop cookies, and we don't give the cookies the luxury of cooling off before we eat them.
Besides, chocolate chips smear all over your face much easier if they're still warm.
When I got out the mixer, Max became rather interested.
He LOVES the mixer.
"Whatcha doing mom?"
"I'm making a special treat for you."
"Oh, are you also making me cookies?"
"No, I'm making some special bread."
I discovered that I needed to wash the bowl to my mixer, the measuring cups and spoons and the grater. I hand washed everything then I got out the ingredients and peeled and grated the zucchini as it said to in the recipe.
Max watched me measure a few ingredients, and then he became rather inquisitive.
"Mom, why you putting the eggs in it?'
"Mom, why did you also drop the egg on the floor?"
"Mom, why did it make a mess?"
"Mom, are you also cleaning up the mess?"
"Mom, why you are throwing away that egg from the floor? Is it also gross?"
"Mom, what's that white stuff?"
"Why you also putting that brown stuff in it?"
"Mom, why you also have to mix it?"..............
"Mom, what's that stuff?"
I was dumping in the zucchini.
"Max" I said "This stuff is SO delicious! It's called zucchini, and it tastes like candy!"
I have to admit that this was not the first time that I fibbed to one of my kids about the taste of zucchini.
I once told CJ that Zucchini tasted like chocolate.
He believed me.
He ate some.
He has never forgiven me.
Seriously CJ, it happened TEN YEARS AGO!
GET. OVER. IT!
I finish mixing everything together and realize that there's way too much batter to fit into my four small loaf pans.
I re read the recipe to discover that it will fill two large loaf pans not two small ones.
Shoot.
I fill the four small loaf pans.
And two round cake pans.
And a pie tin.
I manage to get them all stuffed into the oven and I set the timer.
Then I look at the clock. It's 11:30. So much for the 30 minute prep time. I get a pen and write on the recipe "15 minutes? Don't count on it. Allow two hours!"
50 minutes later, I take the bread out of the oven. (since the pans were smaller I felt the cooking time should be shorter. Plus, it was smelling really good and I couldn't wait to get a taste!)
It was great! The texture was really light, it was more like cake than bread. I ate a slice, then Max came over and asked for some.
HE LOVED IT!
He ate 4 big slices!
I finally got him to eat a vegetable!
OK, I realize that it was hidden within a cake like substance, but still, he ate a vegetable.
And a GREEN one at that!
When the kids got home from school, they were met with the lovely aroma of the zucchini bread. The boys snarfed down as much as they could, as fast as they could, but Brielle wouldn't touch any because "I won't eat cake with a vegetable in it!"
I might re name the recipe "Vegetable cake."
Today I would make zucchini bread.
I had a few zucchinis in the fridge and decided that they weren't really going anywhere so I searched online for a recipe.
I found one that sounded really good and printed it off.
It said that the prep time was 15 minutes and baking time 60-70 minutes.
Now I realize that the prep times on the recipe are highly optimistic and probably determined by someone in a very tidy test kitchen who not only has all of the ingredients right in front of them and doesn't need to search through the closet to find the other bottle of vanilla because the first one ran out and someone put it back instead of throwing the empty bottle away, and they most likely had all of their bowls, dishes, spoons and utensils sitting right in front of them all clean and shiny so they didn't have to hand wash them due to the fact that even though someone did their job and put the dishes in the dishwasher last night, they didn't bother to turn it on and the test kitchen people probably didn't have a toddler in the room with them..........
So I figured that to be more realistic, I would allow closer to 30-40 minutes to mix up the batter.
I look at the clock. It is 9:30 a.m. I figure that by 11:30, I would be enjoying a nice warm slice of zucchini bread.
The recipe said it made 2 loaves, and I decided that I should double it because I have this theory on cooking.
"It should take longer to eat it than it takes to make it."
This is the reason why I double recipes. Six dozen cookies will last much longer than three dozen cookies.
Am I right?
I watched an episode of Martha Stewart once where she spent like 3 hours making 6 cookies.
She carefully mixed up and rolled out the dough.
She took a leaf which she had carefully hand picked from her yard and then thoroughly cleaned
and laid it gently on top of the dough which had been rolled out to a thickness of exactly 1/4 of an inch. She then took a sharp knife and very precisely cut out the dough using the leaf as a pattern. Next, she took the back of the knife and very artistically drew in the veins of the leaf in the top of the dough.
She placed two cookies on each cookie sheet (they were large) and baked them.
After she took them out of the oven, while they were still warm, she gently lifted them off of her silpat lined cookie sheet and draped them over a large tube so that when the cookie cooled, it would be curved.
Just like a real leaf.
Then she took a pastry bag and with perfectly tinted icing, outlined the veins in the leaf cookies.
In comparison, at our house, we make drop cookies, and we don't give the cookies the luxury of cooling off before we eat them.
Besides, chocolate chips smear all over your face much easier if they're still warm.
When I got out the mixer, Max became rather interested.
He LOVES the mixer.
"Whatcha doing mom?"
"I'm making a special treat for you."
"Oh, are you also making me cookies?"
"No, I'm making some special bread."
I discovered that I needed to wash the bowl to my mixer, the measuring cups and spoons and the grater. I hand washed everything then I got out the ingredients and peeled and grated the zucchini as it said to in the recipe.
Max watched me measure a few ingredients, and then he became rather inquisitive.
"Mom, why you putting the eggs in it?'
"Mom, why did you also drop the egg on the floor?"
"Mom, why did it make a mess?"
"Mom, are you also cleaning up the mess?"
"Mom, why you are throwing away that egg from the floor? Is it also gross?"
"Mom, what's that white stuff?"
"Why you also putting that brown stuff in it?"
"Mom, why you also have to mix it?"..............
"Mom, what's that stuff?"
I was dumping in the zucchini.
"Max" I said "This stuff is SO delicious! It's called zucchini, and it tastes like candy!"
I have to admit that this was not the first time that I fibbed to one of my kids about the taste of zucchini.
I once told CJ that Zucchini tasted like chocolate.
He believed me.
He ate some.
He has never forgiven me.
Seriously CJ, it happened TEN YEARS AGO!
GET. OVER. IT!
I finish mixing everything together and realize that there's way too much batter to fit into my four small loaf pans.
I re read the recipe to discover that it will fill two large loaf pans not two small ones.
Shoot.
I fill the four small loaf pans.
And two round cake pans.
And a pie tin.
I manage to get them all stuffed into the oven and I set the timer.
Then I look at the clock. It's 11:30. So much for the 30 minute prep time. I get a pen and write on the recipe "15 minutes? Don't count on it. Allow two hours!"
50 minutes later, I take the bread out of the oven. (since the pans were smaller I felt the cooking time should be shorter. Plus, it was smelling really good and I couldn't wait to get a taste!)
It was great! The texture was really light, it was more like cake than bread. I ate a slice, then Max came over and asked for some.
HE LOVED IT!
He ate 4 big slices!
I finally got him to eat a vegetable!
OK, I realize that it was hidden within a cake like substance, but still, he ate a vegetable.
And a GREEN one at that!
When the kids got home from school, they were met with the lovely aroma of the zucchini bread. The boys snarfed down as much as they could, as fast as they could, but Brielle wouldn't touch any because "I won't eat cake with a vegetable in it!"
I might re name the recipe "Vegetable cake."
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Word Verification Wednesday!
Hey kids! What time is it?
It's time to play EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME!!
DEFINE THAT WORD VERIFICATION WORD!!!!
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's how to play.
1. Go to the comment form.
2. Look at the jumbled letters and try to read them.
3. If they resemble any sort of word whatsoever, leave the word with your idea of it's definition in the comments!
It's just that easy!!!!
If you want to see examples, please go here. (Especially the comments. Really, READ THE COMMENTS! You won't be sorry!)
As always, please remember to follow the rules, which are;
1. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined. Please keep in mind that my kids read my blog.
2. You must use the ACTUAL word, no altering the word (unless it makes it funnier, then it's OK)
3. No mocking of the other contestants. (or me)
I've also decided that you may use words that you have seen while leaving comments on other blogs.
When you see a good WV word, write it down and save it, I plan on doing this every Wednesday!
You are not required to use the first word you get. Refresh as many times as you want!
You may play as many times as you wish. The more times the better!
(seriously, I got 56 comments last week. My self esteem was at an all time high)
I will run the game until Wednesday night.
Check back often to read all the comments. If it's anything like last week, it will be great!
You can tell how excited I am for this by the number of exclamation points I have just used!!
It's time to play EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME!!
DEFINE THAT WORD VERIFICATION WORD!!!!
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's how to play.
1. Go to the comment form.
2. Look at the jumbled letters and try to read them.
3. If they resemble any sort of word whatsoever, leave the word with your idea of it's definition in the comments!
It's just that easy!!!!
If you want to see examples, please go here. (Especially the comments. Really, READ THE COMMENTS! You won't be sorry!)
As always, please remember to follow the rules, which are;
1. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined. Please keep in mind that my kids read my blog.
2. You must use the ACTUAL word, no altering the word (unless it makes it funnier, then it's OK)
3. No mocking of the other contestants. (or me)
I've also decided that you may use words that you have seen while leaving comments on other blogs.
When you see a good WV word, write it down and save it, I plan on doing this every Wednesday!
You are not required to use the first word you get. Refresh as many times as you want!
You may play as many times as you wish. The more times the better!
(seriously, I got 56 comments last week. My self esteem was at an all time high)
I will run the game until Wednesday night.
Check back often to read all the comments. If it's anything like last week, it will be great!
You can tell how excited I am for this by the number of exclamation points I have just used!!
Monday, November 10, 2008
HEY! WE WON'T HAVE TO SEND HIM TO MILITARY SCHOOL!!!
Last week at school CJ took a survey to see what types of careers he would be best suited for.
He was quite excited to find that his career recommendations included things such as;
Computer hardware designer
CJ is our resident computer expert. He can figure out anything with my computer. Except how to get my Photoshop back. But then again, we've had that version of Photoshop longer than we've had CJ.
Artificial intelligence specialist
When CJ was younger, he had plans of building a robot that would clean his room for him. And instead of cleaning his room, he wanted to sit in his messy room and think about his magical room cleaning robot, and when we told him to get up and clean his room, he would say that we were just keeping him from inventing his robot that would clean his room for him.
I think he was just trying to get out of cleaning his room.
Biochemist
He has always loved mixing baking soda and vinegar together.
Diet coke and Mentos interest him too.
Roller coaster designer
What kid wouldn't want to do this? Someday I should post the picture of CJ riding the little roller coaster at Legoland. The look of sheer terror on his face is really quite sad.............and a little amusing.
Acoustical engineer
See the video I posted yesterday. CJ did all of the vocals and beat boxing himself.
No, I don't get the video either. What can I say, he's 13.
Mechanical engineer
or
Electrical engineer
When he was younger, he liked to take apart small appliances and use the parts to make different "inventions" Fortunately his grandpa kept him supplied with old cassette tape players and radios for his projects.
Computer animator
We have some computer animation software on my computer and he is teaching himself animation.
Perfumer
This one has me a bit baffled. However, if he could design a perfume that would counteract the aroma of flatulence, I would be incredibly grateful.
One of our kids (who will not be named) is extremely gassy.
While I think that CJ would be highly qualified for any of these career paths, today he took a quiz that makes me think of a different profession that he would be highly qualified for.
"What profession is that?" you might ask.
Kindergarten teacher
Seriously.
You might also be thinking that it's a bit of a stretch to go from Computer hardware designer or Biochemist to a kindergarten teacher, however if you look at the results of the quiz, you will understand why.
29
I'm SO proud!!
I think.
Seriously, I only scored 20. Aaron scored 25 and he's only eight.
Go ahead and take the quiz and leave your score in the comments.
He was quite excited to find that his career recommendations included things such as;
Computer hardware designer
CJ is our resident computer expert. He can figure out anything with my computer. Except how to get my Photoshop back. But then again, we've had that version of Photoshop longer than we've had CJ.
Artificial intelligence specialist
When CJ was younger, he had plans of building a robot that would clean his room for him. And instead of cleaning his room, he wanted to sit in his messy room and think about his magical room cleaning robot, and when we told him to get up and clean his room, he would say that we were just keeping him from inventing his robot that would clean his room for him.
I think he was just trying to get out of cleaning his room.
Biochemist
He has always loved mixing baking soda and vinegar together.
Diet coke and Mentos interest him too.
Roller coaster designer
What kid wouldn't want to do this? Someday I should post the picture of CJ riding the little roller coaster at Legoland. The look of sheer terror on his face is really quite sad.............and a little amusing.
Acoustical engineer
See the video I posted yesterday. CJ did all of the vocals and beat boxing himself.
No, I don't get the video either. What can I say, he's 13.
Mechanical engineer
or
Electrical engineer
When he was younger, he liked to take apart small appliances and use the parts to make different "inventions" Fortunately his grandpa kept him supplied with old cassette tape players and radios for his projects.
Computer animator
We have some computer animation software on my computer and he is teaching himself animation.
Perfumer
This one has me a bit baffled. However, if he could design a perfume that would counteract the aroma of flatulence, I would be incredibly grateful.
One of our kids (who will not be named) is extremely gassy.
While I think that CJ would be highly qualified for any of these career paths, today he took a quiz that makes me think of a different profession that he would be highly qualified for.
"What profession is that?" you might ask.
Kindergarten teacher
Seriously.
You might also be thinking that it's a bit of a stretch to go from Computer hardware designer or Biochemist to a kindergarten teacher, however if you look at the results of the quiz, you will understand why.
29
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site
I'm SO proud!!
I think.
Seriously, I only scored 20. Aaron scored 25 and he's only eight.
Go ahead and take the quiz and leave your score in the comments.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Because, apparently, my children have nothing better to do
Alternate title #1. Second lame post attributed to NaBloPoMo.
Alternate title #2. I knew I would regret getting him that YouTube account.
Alternate title #3. Warning! Extreme whining ahead.
Alternate title #4. Why do you keep asking if it's that time of the month?
Today, my computer genius son decided to take an iPod commercial and do this to it.
(Yeah, I'm sure no copyright laws were broken with that one)
He says he "probably" didn't have any homework to do.
I'm sorry guys, I tried to think of a really great post, but I got nothin.
Nada.
Probably because I'm INCREDIBLY irritated right now.
"Why?" do you ask?
Mostly because of a client I'm dealing with right now who I have decided will never be happy.
NEVER!
Those kind of people are really hard to please.
Anyway, it's a problem that has made me a bit grumpy.
And to top it all off, all of the good candy is gone in the last of the Halloween candy.
And "FOR HEAVEN SAKES, IF THE DISHES ARE STILL DIRTY WHEN YOU PULL THEM OUT OF THE DISHWASHER, DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT PUT THEM AWAY IN THE CABINETS!!"
And "WHEN YOU PUT THE DISHES AWAY, PLEASE TRY TO PUT THEM SOMEPLACE WHERE I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A REMOTE CHANCE OF FINDING THEM!!!"
And "THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS IS NOT A DUMPING PLACE FOR DIRTY CLOTHES!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT THEM UNDER YOUR BED WITH THE REST OF THEM!!"
And "I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR SOCKS ARE! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!"
OK, maybe I should just complain about a few more things, like the brush in the nail polish. Have you ever noticed that it doesn't reach to the bottom of the bottle? Even when I tip it, I can't get all of it. I know they do that so you will buy more polish sooner because you can't get what's left in the bottom. Not that I'm wearing polish on my nails, I putting it on the hole in the toe of the BRAND NEW PANTYHOSE that I ran this morning. And tipping the bottle of nail polish trying to get the last bit out while at the same time balancing on one foot while the other is on the edge of the tub can be a potentially dangerous situation.
And one more thing, if there's a line at the food sample table at Costco, DO NOT butt in front of me!! I DON'T CARE if you know the lady giving the sample, cutting in line is rude, and you really shouldn't get between me and a sample of hot apple crisp anyway.
I will give you a stern look and think bad things about you.
And that extra large sample of hot apple crisp with a scoop of ice cream that the lady gave you because she knows you?
It's going straight to your butt my friend.
Straight. To. Your. Butt.
OK, I'll give you a few Max quotes to make up for all the whining.
#1.
Me: "Max, tomorrow, we're going to the doctor so they can check your height.
Max: "Are they going to cut it off?"
Me: "Cut what off?"
Max: "My height."
#2.
"Why am I a boy? Is it also because I don't have a purse? Are you a girl because you have a purse?"
Alternate title #2. I knew I would regret getting him that YouTube account.
Alternate title #3. Warning! Extreme whining ahead.
Alternate title #4. Why do you keep asking if it's that time of the month?
Today, my computer genius son decided to take an iPod commercial and do this to it.
(Yeah, I'm sure no copyright laws were broken with that one)
He says he "probably" didn't have any homework to do.
I'm sorry guys, I tried to think of a really great post, but I got nothin.
Nada.
Probably because I'm INCREDIBLY irritated right now.
"Why?" do you ask?
Mostly because of a client I'm dealing with right now who I have decided will never be happy.
NEVER!
Those kind of people are really hard to please.
Anyway, it's a problem that has made me a bit grumpy.
And to top it all off, all of the good candy is gone in the last of the Halloween candy.
And "FOR HEAVEN SAKES, IF THE DISHES ARE STILL DIRTY WHEN YOU PULL THEM OUT OF THE DISHWASHER, DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT PUT THEM AWAY IN THE CABINETS!!"
And "WHEN YOU PUT THE DISHES AWAY, PLEASE TRY TO PUT THEM SOMEPLACE WHERE I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A REMOTE CHANCE OF FINDING THEM!!!"
And "THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS IS NOT A DUMPING PLACE FOR DIRTY CLOTHES!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT THEM UNDER YOUR BED WITH THE REST OF THEM!!"
And "I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR SOCKS ARE! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!"
OK, maybe I should just complain about a few more things, like the brush in the nail polish. Have you ever noticed that it doesn't reach to the bottom of the bottle? Even when I tip it, I can't get all of it. I know they do that so you will buy more polish sooner because you can't get what's left in the bottom. Not that I'm wearing polish on my nails, I putting it on the hole in the toe of the BRAND NEW PANTYHOSE that I ran this morning. And tipping the bottle of nail polish trying to get the last bit out while at the same time balancing on one foot while the other is on the edge of the tub can be a potentially dangerous situation.
And one more thing, if there's a line at the food sample table at Costco, DO NOT butt in front of me!! I DON'T CARE if you know the lady giving the sample, cutting in line is rude, and you really shouldn't get between me and a sample of hot apple crisp anyway.
I will give you a stern look and think bad things about you.
And that extra large sample of hot apple crisp with a scoop of ice cream that the lady gave you because she knows you?
It's going straight to your butt my friend.
Straight. To. Your. Butt.
OK, I'll give you a few Max quotes to make up for all the whining.
#1.
Me: "Max, tomorrow, we're going to the doctor so they can check your height.
Max: "Are they going to cut it off?"
Me: "Cut what off?"
Max: "My height."
#2.
"Why am I a boy? Is it also because I don't have a purse? Are you a girl because you have a purse?"
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Reason # 87 for why my kids will need therapy
We went to the store yesterday. This is how it went.
Me: "Max We're going to buy you a new pillow"
Max: "Why I need a new pillow?"
Me: "Because you threw up on it."
Max: "Oh, is it also gross?"
Me: "Yes Max, it's also gross."
We pick out a pillow and put it in the cart.
Me: "There Max, we're getting this pillow, and this one is washable."
Max: "Is my new pillow washyble? Why am I also get a new pillow?
Me: "Why ARE you getting a new pillow?"
Max: "Because the old one is also gross, and the new one is washyble."
We go over to the dairy area and put some milk in the cart.
(now, before I go on, I need to explain that Max really LOVES chocolate milk. If I buy a gallon he has me sit it next to him in the seat of the shopping cart and he hugs it and pats it all through the store. "Oh chokwit milk. I love you chokwit milk.
After we get home and put it in the fridge, Max will stand guard in front of the fridge, and if anyone dares open the door, he lets them know in no uncertain terms that "THAT'S MY CHOCKWIT MILK! YOU ALSO NOT DRINK MY CHOCKWIT MILK!!!"
He will, from time to time, allow one of his siblings to have some of the milk, but only if they are very nice to him, and he's in a really good mood.)
Max: "GET THE BROWN MILK! I ALSO NEED SOME CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN ONE! GET THE BROWN ONE!"
I was a bit hesitant to get the chocolate milk, because Max hasn't been feeling well, and I didn't want him to throw it up.
Max: "Please a please a please a please! PLEASE I NEED THE CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK!"
Me: "No Max, remember what happened the last time you were sick and had egg nog?"
Max: "I not like egg nog! The egg nog went uuuuuup, out of my mouth, and down on the carpet! I NOT like egg nog"
Me: "I don't want that to happen with the chocolate milk."
We start to walk away from the milk.
Max: "GO BACK! GO BACK! GO GET THE BROWN MILK! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE! PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSEEEEEE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
We walk several isles away and Max is showing no signs of stopping.
Brielle: "Mom, can't you get him to be quiet? He's really embarrassing me."
OK, now THIS I find rather amusing, because apparently, she doesn't seem to remember the MANY times that she did things to embarrass me.
So I laugh.
LOUDLY.
For a long time.
Brielle: (hissing quietly) "Mom, stop it! Now YOU are embarrassing me."
I laugh harder and louder, because this is getting funnier.
So basically we have...............
Max: "MOM! GET THE BROWN MILK! GO BACK AND GET THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK!"
Brielle: "MOM! MAKE HIM STOP! HE'S TOO LOUD! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING! STOP LAUGHING! IT'S EMBARRASSING! STOP HIM MOM! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING!!!"
Aaron: "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?......... WHAT'S SO FUNNY? .......WHAT'S SO FUNNY? ........WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"
Me: "Max, you will not get what you want by screaming. You need to calm down. I think we need to do some anger management. Let's all do it together."
We all lift our arms above our heads while taking a deep breath. We then lower our hands while exhaling s...l...o...w...l...y.
Repeated three times.
Max has calmed down. His face is red and blotchy, but he has stopped screaming. We walk around and get the rest of our groceries and start to go towards the check out stand when he starts again.
"PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEE!! PLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE!
PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A............."
Me: "Tell you what Max, if you sing "lights" for me, I will go back and get some chocolate milk."
Max: "I not sing Lights. I also sing my preschool song."
(If you didn't see the post where Max sings Lights, I suggest that you click on that link. You won't be disappointed)
I decided to allow the song substitution and we walked back toward the milk as he sang.....
Today is a wonderful day,
For I am going away.
Not to the circus,
Not to the pool,
I am going to my preschool.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
I am going to my preschool.
We got to the milk case just as he finished.
He was giddy with excitement!
I reached in the case and got.................
a half gallon of chocolate milk.
Only a half gallon.
Max: "I NOT DID WANT THE SMALL ONE! I ALSO DID WANT THE BIG ONE! GET THE BIG CHOCOLATE MILK! NOT THE SMALL ONE!!
Me: "Max, that's too much milk, and besides you didn't sing Lights like I wanted.
Max: "Please get the big chocolate milk! pleeeeaaaassse!!"
Me: "You can have the small one, or none. What's your choice?"
Max "I want the big one!"
I have Aaron put the milk back and we start to walk away. Max starts crying again "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH..........WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN IN THE CITY, AAAAAAAHHHHH AND THE SUN SHINES ON THE BAAAAAAYYY.......AAAAAHHHHHH"
It was really quite sad, listening to him sing and cry at the same time.
Poor Max.
I got the big chocolate milk.
(and please don't tell me that I shouldn't have bought the milk. You weren't there)
Me: "Max We're going to buy you a new pillow"
Max: "Why I need a new pillow?"
Me: "Because you threw up on it."
Max: "Oh, is it also gross?"
Me: "Yes Max, it's also gross."
We pick out a pillow and put it in the cart.
Me: "There Max, we're getting this pillow, and this one is washable."
Max: "Is my new pillow washyble? Why am I also get a new pillow?
Me: "Why ARE you getting a new pillow?"
Max: "Because the old one is also gross, and the new one is washyble."
We go over to the dairy area and put some milk in the cart.
(now, before I go on, I need to explain that Max really LOVES chocolate milk. If I buy a gallon he has me sit it next to him in the seat of the shopping cart and he hugs it and pats it all through the store. "Oh chokwit milk. I love you chokwit milk.
After we get home and put it in the fridge, Max will stand guard in front of the fridge, and if anyone dares open the door, he lets them know in no uncertain terms that "THAT'S MY CHOCKWIT MILK! YOU ALSO NOT DRINK MY CHOCKWIT MILK!!!"
He will, from time to time, allow one of his siblings to have some of the milk, but only if they are very nice to him, and he's in a really good mood.)
Max: "GET THE BROWN MILK! I ALSO NEED SOME CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN ONE! GET THE BROWN ONE!"
I was a bit hesitant to get the chocolate milk, because Max hasn't been feeling well, and I didn't want him to throw it up.
Max: "Please a please a please a please! PLEASE I NEED THE CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK!"
Me: "No Max, remember what happened the last time you were sick and had egg nog?"
Max: "I not like egg nog! The egg nog went uuuuuup, out of my mouth, and down on the carpet! I NOT like egg nog"
Me: "I don't want that to happen with the chocolate milk."
We start to walk away from the milk.
Max: "GO BACK! GO BACK! GO GET THE BROWN MILK! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE! PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSEEEEEE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
We walk several isles away and Max is showing no signs of stopping.
Brielle: "Mom, can't you get him to be quiet? He's really embarrassing me."
OK, now THIS I find rather amusing, because apparently, she doesn't seem to remember the MANY times that she did things to embarrass me.
So I laugh.
LOUDLY.
For a long time.
Brielle: (hissing quietly) "Mom, stop it! Now YOU are embarrassing me."
I laugh harder and louder, because this is getting funnier.
So basically we have...............
Max: "MOM! GET THE BROWN MILK! GO BACK AND GET THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK!"
Brielle: "MOM! MAKE HIM STOP! HE'S TOO LOUD! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING! STOP LAUGHING! IT'S EMBARRASSING! STOP HIM MOM! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING!!!"
Aaron: "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?......... WHAT'S SO FUNNY? .......WHAT'S SO FUNNY? ........WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"
Me: "Max, you will not get what you want by screaming. You need to calm down. I think we need to do some anger management. Let's all do it together."
We all lift our arms above our heads while taking a deep breath. We then lower our hands while exhaling s...l...o...w...l...y.
Repeated three times.
Max has calmed down. His face is red and blotchy, but he has stopped screaming. We walk around and get the rest of our groceries and start to go towards the check out stand when he starts again.
"PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEE!! PLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE!
PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A............."
Me: "Tell you what Max, if you sing "lights" for me, I will go back and get some chocolate milk."
Max: "I not sing Lights. I also sing my preschool song."
(If you didn't see the post where Max sings Lights, I suggest that you click on that link. You won't be disappointed)
I decided to allow the song substitution and we walked back toward the milk as he sang.....
Today is a wonderful day,
For I am going away.
Not to the circus,
Not to the pool,
I am going to my preschool.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
I am going to my preschool.
We got to the milk case just as he finished.
He was giddy with excitement!
I reached in the case and got.................
a half gallon of chocolate milk.
Only a half gallon.
Max: "I NOT DID WANT THE SMALL ONE! I ALSO DID WANT THE BIG ONE! GET THE BIG CHOCOLATE MILK! NOT THE SMALL ONE!!
Me: "Max, that's too much milk, and besides you didn't sing Lights like I wanted.
Max: "Please get the big chocolate milk! pleeeeaaaassse!!"
Me: "You can have the small one, or none. What's your choice?"
Max "I want the big one!"
I have Aaron put the milk back and we start to walk away. Max starts crying again "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH..........WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN IN THE CITY, AAAAAAAHHHHH AND THE SUN SHINES ON THE BAAAAAAYYY.......AAAAAHHHHHH"
It was really quite sad, listening to him sing and cry at the same time.
Poor Max.
I got the big chocolate milk.
(and please don't tell me that I shouldn't have bought the milk. You weren't there)
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