Facebook fury!

OK, so Facebook has disabled my account for "security" reasons.

They are now holding my account hostage until I give them my phone number.

I don't want to give them my phone number. We have an unpublished number and they have not earned the right to have my cell phone number. (this number reserved for good friends)

They want to call or text me with a code to use to log back on. (so giving them a fake number is out)

They tell me they need my number to confirm that it's really me logging in, however, I've never given them my number, so how do they know that the number I give them is really mine? How could they possibly know whether or not it's me or just some other strange person pretending to be me, giving them a phone number to access my account.

Facebook is stupid.*

Anyone know of a way I can get around this?

*And when I say that Facebook is stupid, that does not in any way mean that I don't want to regain access to my account.

Things that should exist, but haven't been invented yet

1. Self cleaning kitchen floors.

2. Seat belts for children at restaurants.

(Yes, I'm talking to you, little league baseball team who ate in the same restaurant that we did, and sat the kids at their own table near us while the parents enjoyed a lovely meal at a table of their own, away from said children (and when I say "sat" I mean that each of the kids technically had their own chair, even though they didn't really use it to sit in)

3. Self cleaning bathrooms.

Help solve the mystery

Last night around 9:00 p.m. our doorbell rang.
When we got to the door, there was no one there, however, three notes were left between the door and the screen door.

Note #1 said

What's your secret?

Note #2 said

I know you are in the witness protection program

And note #3 said

I know you are Aliens.



What do you think it all means?
Why was there no punctuation used on note #2?
Why does the note writer think that they know so much about us?
Why did they use three pieces of paper when they could have fit everything they needed to say onto one?
Why is this the most interesting thing I can find to blog about?


Why?

Why?

WHY?


Any of your ideas would be appreciated. Leave me a comment.

Thank you.





And just for the record, we are not Aliens, nor are we in the witness protection program. (Not that I would admit it if we were, because that would kind of defeat the purpose of the witness protection program now wouldn't it.)
(But we're really not.)

And the only secret that we might have would be that great big flying saucer in our shed, but I didn't tell you anything about it, mkay?

Not funny. Not funny at all.

I keep looking outside, just waiting for Mother Nature to jump out and yell...........

APRIL FOOL!!

So far, she hasn't appeared. In fact, I think it just started snowing again. :0(

I've decided that we won't be coloring eggs this year, they'll be way too easy to find in the snow. The white eggs will hide much better.

Things that are wrong

Things that are not awesome

1. Noticing that your dishwasher didn't get the dishes clean so you run it through another cycle.
2. Turning on the light on your stove, hearing a pop then discovering that the oven won't turn on.
3. Realizing that since the oven won't turn on, you won't be able to make the cookies that you bought the chocolate chips for.
4. Discovering that your dishes still aren't clean after the second run through the dishwasher.
5. Having the appliance repair man say that the circuit board of your oven has gone out, and upon further investigation, discovering that they don't actually make that particular part any more.
6. Having the appliance repair man take a quick look at the dishwasher only to tell you that it appears that the motor has gone out.
7. Paying the appliance repair man to tell you that your stuff is broken and he can't fix it.
8. Having your kids complain because now the dishes need to be washed by hand.
9. Having a child put too much dish soap in the sink, causing the suds to overflow.
10. Catching that same child trying to get rid of the suds by throwing them in the garbage.
11. Spending the day wondering which appliance will die next.

Multi tasking?

Today I had the extreme pleasure of watching my teenage son try to unload the dishwasher while continuing to play a game on the playstation with the wireless controller.

Let's just say that neither the game or the dishes turned out very well.

Message to my children..........

OK kids, press pause or turn of the video game, do the dishes, finish the homework, use the restroom THEN play the video games

My obligatory New Year's resolution post.

I hadn't planned on making any new Year's resolutions, mostly because, like everyone else, I will forget about them in about a day and a half.
However, I'm feeling a little bit left out, because it seems like everywhere I go on the internet, people are writing about all of the wonderful goals that they have for the year.

I'm a list maker. Every morning* I like to make a list of the things that I need/would like to accomplish throughout the day.
I LOVE crossing things off of my lists! I love it so much that sometimes if I do something that isn't on my list, I will write it down on the list just so I can cross it off. (lame, I know, but I like to be able to look at my list and feel like I've actually accomplished something during the day)
so it really shouldn't be hard for me to make a list of goals that I would like to accomplish this year. So, here it is, my New Year's resolution list!

1. Shave my legs. **
2. Put my ironing board away. ***
3. Attend more blogger lunches.

I can't think of another one, however, I do reserve the right to add more things to the list at a later time.****


I will keep everyone updated to let you know how things are coming along.








*OK, so not every morning, every other morning, or once a month or whatever.
**No, I will not tell you how long it's been. Don't judge me, it's cold here, and I'm grateful for the extra warmth.
***It's been sitting in my kitchen for a few days now. However, now that I think of it, maybe I should just leave it up, it could add to the counter space.
**** Later time = after I've already done something, I will add it to the list.

Snow is falling all around, on the housetops on the ground..........

Shoveled snow.

Can't. Move. Arms.

Stupid snow.

Stupid, stupid snow.

A letter to my brother

Dearest brother,

I would like to thank you so much for the thoughtful gift that you gave Aaron for his birthday this year.

This morning, Max found the gift and it kept him entertained for a good portion of the day.

Who would have thought that a four year old boy would find so much enjoyment out of an electronic fart noise maker.

Signed,

Your favorite sister

Jill

p.s. Just wait until you see what I got your girls for Christmas.

Actual conversation between me and the kids while wandering through the parking lot at Wal Mart last night at 10:30 pm

Me: "Where did we park? "

Brielle: "I don't know, wasn't it over this way?"

Me: "No, I don't think so, I think it was more over that way. It drives me crazy when we bring Dad's car, because it's harder to find."

Aaron: "I think I remember walking down this way."

Me: "Are you sure? I kind of remember facing south when we parked."

Aaron: "Didn't we park next to a tree?"

Me: " I don't think so, I don't like parking in those spots with the trees."

Brielle: "Why didn't we bring your car mom?"

Me: "I wish we had, then I could hit the button on the keys and the horn would honk."

Aaron: "Maybe it was over on this row."

Brielle: "No, I think it was closer to this entrance."

Me: "What color is Dad's car anyway?"

Brielle: "MOM! You know what color it is, it's silver."

Me: "Or is it more of a gray?"

Aaron: "I'm pretty sure we parked by a tree."

Brielle: "Look over there Mom, that car is just like your car!"

Me: "It does look kind of like my car doesn't it?"

Brielle: "I wish it was your car, then we would know where it was."

Aaron: "Hey Mom! Look at the license plate! That IS your car!"

Brielle: "Oh yeah, we did come in your car!"






If I hadn't brought the kids with me to Wal Mart, I might still be wandering around, looking for the wrong car.....................


Don't judge. It was dark outside.

Yikes!!!!

Guess what I found?

(sigh)

Boredom busters for kids, or How to get yourself grounded in three easy steps!

Hey kids!!
It's summertime! School is out and pretty soon you will be faced with that age old problem......

SUMMER BOREDOM

(dun dun dun)

Do you enjoy the smell of burning machinery and burning rubber combined?
Do you enjoy seeing that vein on your dear mother's face pop out so far that it looks like it's going to burst?
Do you enjoy having different appliance repairmen visit your house on a regular basis?

Well kids, have I got an activity for you!!

First, clean your room. I know this is usually something that you don't do voluntarily, however, it will confuse your parents. They will be so shocked and happy that it will intensify their reaction to the real activity that you have planned!

Second, take all of the blankets and sheets in your room and stuff them in the washing machine. May I suggest, more specifically,

(may be sung to the tune of "Twelve days of Christmas")

Three LARGE afgans
Two handmade blankets
One throw blanket
One set of sheets
And a twin sized Spongebob comforter!

Be sure to use all of your weight to pack them down in the washing machine so that the lid will close.
Sit on the lid if necessary.

Next, put in the soap, turn on the washing machine and wait for the fun to begin!

Now, here's the tricky part, when the washing machine starts making a really obnoxious noise and you start to smell the burning machinery/rubber smell, instead of telling anyone, just close the door to the laundry room.

The washing machine might actually stop on it's own. In fact, it will probably stop and not start again.

Ever!

Now here's the really fun part, when your mom starts to walk into the laundry room, casually say "Hey mom, you might not want to go in there, it smells really bad!"

Naturally, your mother will want to investigate any and every bad smell in the house, and will go in the laundry room anyway. Now is the time to tell her about the funny noise and how the washing machine "just stopped on it's own."

See the look of horror on your mother's face when she pushes every button on the washing machine only to discover that there are no signs of life left in this dear (not so old) appliance.

Watch as your mother searches the house, looking for the warranty to the washing machine, hoping that the warranty is not void if children are allowed to use the appliance.
Listen to your mother mutter under her breath something about never really seeing any rule that specifically says that children can't be sold on eBay.

Making family memories is so much fun!!!

Next you will get to help your possibly screaming at this point mother wring out the contents of the washing machine and carry them to the bathtub while trying not to drip water all over the house!!

Be forewarned, your mother may tell you that the money designated for the trip to the amusement park will be paid to the appliance repair man.
And there will be no amusement happening for you this summer!

Good times.

One last thing, this project is so much more fun if it happens after 11:00 p.m.

Try it!!

Go ahead, I DARE YOU!!!




This morning just before calling the repairman, I tried one more time to turn on the washing machine and lucky for the children, it worked.
We have spent the day rinsing and drying the all of the bedding removed last night, except this time I have separated it into 4 different loads.

Yes, I am relieved.

Fashion to the "Max"

Fashion statements made by Max in the previous week.

Rolled down socks

Cowboy boots with shorts (my personal favorite)

I'm not sure exactly what WHAT kind of fashion statement he's trying to make with these.

Any ideas?

Proud parenting moment

Last week, Max heard Beyonce's song "Single ladies."
Today as we shopped at a rather crowded Wal Mart, Max was singing at the top of his lungs.......


"IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT! IF YOU LIKE IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT!

Wo wo wo, Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo................

WHY? (and word verification Wednesday)

Why is it that when I go to the doctor's office I can wait for 45 minutes to see the doctor and it doesn't seem to be a problem to anyone working there, but if I get stuck in traffic and get there 20 minutes late for my appointment, I get grilled by the receptionist?

Receptionist: (scowling) "Were you aware that your appointment was 20 minutes ago?"

Me: "Yes, I apologize, I got here as quick as I could"

Receptionist: (looking around the room, rolling her eyes and letting out a big sigh) "Well, I don't think he has anyone waiting for him right now."

The waiting room was completely empty. I was the only one there.

I sat in the waiting room for ten minutes.

The nurse came and brought me to the exam room where I waited another 15 minutes.

If you do the math, that's 45 minutes, the original amount of time I usually have to wait to see the doctor.

The good news is that the doctor actually agreed that I am indeed sick and gave me some antibiotics. I should be feeling better shortly.

I hope.

*********************************************************************************

Today is Wednesday.

Go define those word verification codes!

Why? (And word verification Wednesday)

Can anyone tell me why............

A room can stay in the same state of cluttered disarray with the mess not moving or changing at all for two whole weeks, yet when I get the room clean, it can't stay that way for longer than 2 hours?

I can't remember what someone told me 30 minutes ago, yet I can remember all of the lyrics to a song I heard on the radio 30 years ago?

The girl Scout cookie boxes aren't bigger?

It takes at least two months to lose 10 lbs, yet it only takes one pound of fudge and a weekend to gain it all back?

IT'S STILL SNOWING?????

There are 6 half full/half empty bottles of barbecue sauce in my refrigerator?

Nobody ever cleaned up that can of Dr. Pepper that exploded in the freezer?

Max always asks me to fix peas for dinner, and then NEVER EATS THEM?



*******************************************************************


Today is Wednesday!

WORD VERIFICATION WEDNESDAY!!

Go to the comment box, read the word verification code, come up with a definition for the word....................

OK, you guys know how to play, I won't give the rules and instructions again.

Go. Define.

Singing Sea Life and other oddities

Watch this fun video!!!
(Seriously, watch it all the way to the end, you won't be disappointed)




























Earworm : A term for a portion of a song or other musical material that repeats compulsively within one's mind, known colloquially as "music being stuck in one's head".









You're welcome.

I'm not winking at you. Really, I'm not.

My left eye has been twitching.

For several weeks.

Twitch..............twitch.........twitch, twitch.................twitch.

It's driving me a little crazy.

Twitch, twitch.

So, I did what every hypochondriac normal person would do, and googled "eye twitch"

What I thought might be something serious resulting in me getting a nice long rest in the hospital is probably nothing serious at all.

twitch.....twitch....twitchy twitch.

Most of the websites I visited said basically the same thing. Eye twitching is most likely caused by stress, fatigue and lack of sleep. Three things that have been a big part of my life in the last few weeks.

Twitchity twitch.

Still, I don't think that my eye twitch has anything to do with my sleep deprivation. I'm pretty sure it was caused by this.


Seriously, this is DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!

PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!



twitch.

Have you ever wondered?

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you used liquid dish soap in the dishwasher?






Or worse, have you ever wondered what would happen if one of your kids wondered what would happen if they used liquid dish soap in the dishwasher?



















I now know.

I can't even begin to describe the mess that was on the kitchen floor.