How many family members does it take to pull out the wiggly tooth of a very whiny six year old?

Three.

#1 to tie the string around his tooth and the other end of the string to the door.

#2 to hold the kid's head still.

#3 to slam the door.

Yes, Max has lost his first tooth! (or had it forcibly removed.............)

It was most definitely ready to come out, the new tooth has already popped through. Now if we can just trick him into letting us tie the string around the other loose tooth.

And the award for the most creative excuse of the week goes to........

Me: "Aaron, go clean out your closet."

Aaron: "I can't."

Me: "And why can't you?"

Aaron: ....................

Me: ????

Aaron: "Frogs. There are frogs in my closet."

Me: "Frogs?"

Aaron: "Yes, frogs, and they're jumping around."

Me: ?????

Aaron: "They're jumping around all over my closet.........and....um..... they're poison dart frogs."

Me: "Poison dart frogs?"

Aaron: "Yes, I can't clean out my closet because there are poison dart frogs hopping around in my closet, but don't go and look because they will shoot poisoned darts at you and the poison will go into your body and make your arm fall off."

Me: "Aaron!"

Aaron: "What mom."

Me: "Go clean out your closet!"

Too cool for drool?

Today I scooped up Max, gave him a great big sloppy wet kiss on his cheek then sat him down.



"NO MOM!!" he complained as he wiped off his cheek "You can't kiss my cheeks, you can only kiss cheeks on NOT cool people and I am a COOL PEOPLE!!"

Would you like some fries with your Snickers bar?

Here's a question.
What is the age at which your kids stop trick or treating?

CJ's last year was two years ago when he was in 7th grade. He hadn't really planned on trick or treating that year until he found out on Halloween night that some of his friends were going and he decided to go with them.
Since he hadn't planned on going, he didn't have a costume ready, so while the rest of us were at the neighborhood "pre-trick or treating pot luck dinner" he was home, improvising a costume for himself.
He took the huge alien head from one of his old costumes, and tied it to the iPod costume that he had worn the year before.
He went as an "iAlien"

This year will be Brielle's last year. In our neighborhood, 13 seems to be the age where the kids stop going out to collect candy on Halloween.

Does it bother you when older kids come to your door? Teenagers? Adults?

I remember quite a few years ago when a couple showed up at our door with their 2 month old baby dressed as a cat. The parents each had a trick or treat bag.

What kind of candy do you hand out?

Some of our neighbors really go all out for the trick or treaters. One older couple down the street from us has their house fully decorated for Halloween. She dresses as a witch and he dresses as a vampire, and not only do they hand out candy, but they have hot cider and donuts available for everyone.
Another one of our other neighbors always hands out full sized candy bars, and some give out juice boxes.
I think my favorite was the time the dental hygienist down the street handed out toothbrushes.

A friend of mine really doesn't like it when teenagers come to their door on Halloween, and she has come up with a great solution.
All year long, her family saves up all of the ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, Arby's and Horsey sauce packets that they get at any fast food restaurants that they go to, then on Halloween night, when an older teenager comes trick or treating to their door, they very stealthly give them a ketchup packet instead of candy.
She told me how one year, the Sunday after Halloween she was walking in the hallway at church and overheard a conversation between some teenagers. One of them said "I couldn't believe it, somebody gave me ketchup in my candy bag!"

What are your plans for Halloween?

What are your kids dressing up as?

Max wants to be and Oompa Loompa, but I can't find a green wig. We do, however, have an Elvis wig, so I'm trying to talk him into being "Elvis-loompa"

He's not buying it.

My place of honor as Max's favorite

Warning, potty talk ahead.

Seriously, if you continue to read, remember that I warned you.

This morning I met a friend for breakfast. I had a lovely time and enjoyed a much needed interaction with an adult human of the female kind.

As I was leaving the restaurant, I called home to make sure that the kids were doing OK.

CJ answered the phone.

Me: "How are things?"

CJ: "Fine?"

Me: "Is everyone awake?" (I left while they were all still sleeping)

CJ: "Yes"

Me: "What's Max doing?"

CJ: "I don't know, but he's been in the bathroom for over an hour."

Me: "Is he OK?"

CJ: "I don't know."

Me: "Can you check?"

CJ: "OK."

I hear him walk through the house to the bathroom and knock on the door.

CJ: "HEY MAX! ARE YOU OK?"

Max: "YES!"

CJ: "He's OK."

Me:" What's he doing?"

CJ: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Max: "NOTHING."

CJ: "He says he's not doing anything."

I was convinced that everything was OK, so I continued home.

A little while later when I walked in the door, CJ said "We figured out why Max has been in the bathroom for so long. He's been waiting for you to come home so you could wipe him."

I asked him why nobody else had helped him out with his situation and CJ said "He wouldn't let us help him, he only wanted you to do it."

Isn't that terrific? I am Max's official butt wiper.

I'm not sure if I should feel privileged or annoyed.

I walked in the bathroom and told Max that I needed to take Brielle to her friend's house, then I needed to go to the bank and after that, I would be going to the grocery store, and when I had finished all of my errands, I would come home and wipe his butt.

Get this..................He was willing to wait.

No, I didn't make him wait, mostly because I didn't want the toilet seat to leave a permanent impression on his backside.

Also, I realize that you are now going to tell me that Max is old enough to be taking care of this issue on his own, however, you don't do his laundry.

Overlooked and offended?

Yesterday, Max did something clever/funny/adorable. My first reaction was "Hey, I'm going to write about that on my blog!"

One of the other children (I forget which one) said "Why do you only write about Max? You never write about us!"

So I pointed out a few things.

#1. Max does some pretty darn adorable stuff. They did cute stuff when they were his age too but, alas, I didn't have a blog then and that was a really long time ago, and I can't really remember all the cute stuff that they did.

#2. They don't like it when I write about stuff they do that I find amusing, mostly because if I find it amusing, it's probably something potentially embarrassing for them.

Even though I explained the situation thoroughly, they still felt rather put out that I haven't written about them in a while.

Today, something funny happened with one of the kids and I really wanted to blog about it because, seriously, it was darn funny.

The child involved freaked out and said there was no way that they would be OK with me blogging about this particular situation. The freaking out was so intense, that I'm not even able to say on my blog which of my offspring was involved.

However, nothing was said about Facebook..............

Breakfast, take two!

Yesterday morning when Max woke up he immediately came into the kitchen and asked me for his breakfast. I told him that he could have his breakfast as soon as he got dressed and he said "OK mom, but you should fix my breakfast while I'm getting dressed."

He walked into his room and I continued doing whatever it was that I was doing at the time. I didn't fix his breakfast because I had no idea how long it was going to take him to get dressed, and after that toasted frozen waffle gets cold, Max won't touch it.

Just a few minutes later, Max came walking back into the kitchen, fully dressed.

"Where's my breakfast? You were supposed to fix my breakfast while I was getting dressed so I could have it when I came out,"

I said "I didn't fix it yet because I didn't want it to get cold."

Then he threw his arms in the air, turned around, stomped back into his room and said.......

WELL THEN LET'S JUST TRY IT AGAIN!"

Just so you know, Max did not get his breakfast until after he apologized to me for being rude, and then asking for a waffle nicely, using the word "please." (and I may or may not have required him to say "Please dear mother")

Point well taken

We've recently discovered that Max has an extreme fondness for hot chocolate. Last year we tried to give him some, but he saw the other kids stirring theirs with a spoon and he decided that he wanted to stir it too, but since he had the coordination of a three year it became very messy and we decided that he shouldn't have any more.

This year, Brielle discovered the magic known as the straw. Max will sit and sip his hot (it's actually just barely warm) chocolate through the straw.

He loves it!

We've also discovered that the kid will do anything for hot chocolate.

ANYTHING!

And yes, I'm going to use that little piece of information for as long as it lasts.

Last night I told Max that if he went and got his pajamas on right then, I would give him a cup of hot chocolate.

He was very excited and ran into his room.

A while later, I heard him playing in his room and walked in to find him still in his clothes, and his pajamas still sitting empty on his bed.

"Hey" I said "I thought you were going to put your pajamas on?"

He smiles at me and says "I'm going to do it in a minute."

A while later, I went back to see him still playing with his blocks.

"Max, it's almost your bedtime, please get your pajamas on!"

"OK mom, I'm doing it in a minute."

After about 20 minutes, he came walking into the family room, still dressed in his clothes.

I said "Max, go get your pajamas on now!"

He went back into his room and emerged a while later wearing his pajamas. "I'm ready for my hot chocolate now."

"No Max, I said you could have hot chocolate if you got in your pajamas quickly, but it took you a long time."

"But I said I would do it in a minute!"

"You took way more than a minute, a minute is only a short amount of time."

And then he says to me,

"When YOU say "in a minute," it always takes a really long time!"

Point well taken.

(Don't you hate it when things that you say to your kids come back later to bite you in the butt?)

Max quote of the day:

"If it gets snow on it, does garbage change to garbage juice?"

An illness of convenience

Max was quite sick this weekend. Monday I took him to the doctor and we got him fixed up with some medication so he could get better.

Sunday and Monday all he wanted to do was sit on my lap and play with my hair, or snuggle next to me on the couch and play with my hair. The poor kid was so miserable, there wasn't much that would console him.

Max isn't much of an eater as it is, but when he was sick, he didn't want to eat anything at all. I brought him whatever I could think of for him to snack on and kept his water bottle filled because he was thirsty.

Yesterday morning when he woke up, he was feeling much better. He was still too sick to go to school, but he was walking around and talking, and he was able to fill his water bottle and put it in the refrigerator by himself.

This morning when Max woke up he walked into the kitchen sat down at the table and said,

"Yesterday I was feelin' better, but today I'm sick again."

He looked and sounded OK to me. I got him a waffle (I even toasted it first!) and brought him his water bottle. He took his medicine then said "Here's my water, you can put it back in the fridge now."

Max was sitting at the end of the table that was closer to the refrigerator, and I was busy doing something so I told him "Go ahead and put it in the fridge yourself."

He then whines and says "BUT SICK PEOPLE CAN'T PUT THINGS BACK IN REFRIGERATORS!"

Apparently he really enjoyed having me wait on him for a few days when he could hardly get up off the couch. I wasn't going to go along with this when he was perfectly capable of putting the water away without my help.

ME: "You are not so sick that you can't walk over to the fridge and put that away."

Max: "No! Sick people can't do that. You need to do it for me."

Me: "No Max, you can do it."

Max: "PLEASE GO PUT MY WATER IN THE FRIDGE!!"

Me: "The fridge is not that far away, you can do it."

Max: "BUT I SAID PLEASE! I can't do it, I'm sick again today."

Me: "OK, so don't put it in the fridge, it can just sit on the table."

Max: "But I like my water cold!"

Then he got off of the chair and sat the water bottle in front of me on the table.

"Here mom, I'll put it here so it's easier for you to put it away." Then he walked into his room.

I left the bottle sitting on the table.

Later in the afternoon, when we came home from picking up the kids from school, Max walked in the house, saw the water sitting on the table and said "Hey mom, you forgot to put my water away."

I told him that I did NOT forget to do it. He then put it away.

A while later, Brielle started to make cookies. We were snacking on the dough when Max came over to the kitchen counter and asked me "What are you guys doing?"

Me: "We're making cookies." as I ate a spoonful of dough.

Max: "Can I have some?"

Me: "No Max, I'm so sorry, you can't have any. Sick people can't eat cookie dough."

Max looked at me and says "Well, I think I'm feeling better now."

*******************************

I've put up the most annoying Christmas song poll on my sidebar. Vote early and vote often.

The yearly decorating of the Christmas tree

Last night I told Brielle and Aaron that they could drag the tree and Christmas decorations out of their hiding place in the closet under the basement stairs and bring them upstairs to the living room so we could do all of the decorating today.

Instead of leaving it in the box until today, like I thought they would do, they ended up putting the tree together, only they really didn't understand how to make it stand up straight.

To say that the tree was leaning would be an understatement.

This morning I woke up to a sniffy nosed, watery eyed and very feverish little Max. The poor kid was so miserable that he was close to tears.

I've spent the majority of my day with him cuddled in my lap or snuggled up next to me on the couch. He finally took a nice long nap and when he woke up he was feeling a little bit better so we decided to decorate our Christmas tree.

Max immediately found the Santa hats that we try every year to get the kids to wear for our Christmas card pictures, and he wore it all day. He kept saying Ho Ho Ho and calling himself "Max Claus"

We managed to get the tree to stand up straight and found a string of lights that had the fewest non working bulbs and put those on the tree, then I let the kids loose to decorate.

Aaron spent the next while seeing how much he could irritate me by placing more than one ornament on the same branch.

We go over this every year. The ornaments need to be EVENLY SPACED throughout the tree.

In order to help them understand how important this is, I started singing this song.

(Sung to the tune of Deck The Halls)

Trim the tree with OCD,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Space the ornaments evenly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don't hang them close to one another,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Or you will annoy your mother,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Their reaction was to laugh out loud and say "Ha ha ha! Mom, you're funny!" and then continue hanging the ornaments where they wanted.

Hmmmm...... Does anyone know of a good place to buy some lumps of coal?

sidenote: I just want to mention that this is a big running joke between me and the kids. They know I'm kidding (sort of ;0) and they are joking around too. It's like a yearly tradition for us to decorate the tree with me freaking out at the placement of the ornaments and them placing them in a way that they know will cause me to freak out.

We don't need no stinkin' Wii

A while ago, when we cleaned out our storage room, the kids found my husband's old Pong game that he had as a kid.
They have been playing it ever since.
We have a Playstation 2 and various other plug and play game systems, but they have been playing Pong.
Last night the kids stayed at Grandma's house, they discovered our old Atari console and game cartridges and brought them home. As soon as we came in the door, they rigged it up to our TV and they've been playing Playing Pac Man, Space invaders and Donkey Kong.

As of now, I don't see the point of buying the Wii, the Playstation 3 or the X box that the kids have been hinting that they would like.

How I lied to Max about the cookies

And now, the rest of the story..............

When Max asked what happened to the cookies, I knew that if I told him the truth that he would be really mad at me.

I thought fast. CJ wasn't home to defend himself so I told Max that CJ was the one that ate all the cookies.

Max's cute little face turned red, he lifted his arms in the air, threw his head back and yelled to the ceiling,

CJ

IS

A

REALLY

REALLY

BAD

GUY!!!!

Sure I felt kind of bad about it for a while, but I was mostly just glad that he wasn't mad at me. I would have made him some more cookies right then, but we were out of oats and the mixer bowl was dirty, and quite frankly, I wasn't really hungry for cookies anymore anyway.

CJ is in the kitchen right now, making another batch of no bake cookies. This time, I will be sure to save some for Max.

So anyway, those of you who guessed #4 on yesterday's post should be very proud of yourselves. Yes, I blamed the whole thing on CJ.

Unfortunately, I didn't think of blaming Naughty Bird, Naughty Frog and Naughty Rabbit until I was writing the post last night. I wish I had thought of telling him that his imaginary naughty pets had eaten the cookies just to see his reaction.

I will remember the naughty trio the next time I need to shift the blame elsewhere. I mean, if Max can use them as an excuse for everything, why couldn't I?"

I was asked to give our recipe for no bake cookies, here it is.

2 Cups sugar

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup cocoa

Beat these ingredients together for a few minutes then pour over

3 cups oats

1 tsp vanilla

1 cup coconut

1/2 cup chopped nuts

Mix together then drop with a spoon onto wax paper and let them sit for a while. (Ours never last long enough to see how long it takes to set up) They will be gooey.

CJ said that he's going to put this next batch in the fridge to see if they set faster.

This is the official recipe, however, my kids don't like coconut and nuts (weird, I know) so we make them without, and just use more oats.

Also, I don't always use the vanilla, and it's OK without.

Now that Halloween is over...............

Dear children,
It has come to my attention that you received quite a bit of candy from trick or treating last night. It is now time for you to pay your "candy tax" for this year.

Taxes will be as follows:
ALL of the Three Musketeers.
1/2 of all Reese's peanut butter cups
1/2 of Hershey bars, or if you wish, you may substitute Milky Way bars.
In addition, any Butterfingers or Almond Joys donated to me will receive a tax credit.
If you do not like nuts, I will just assume that you will be handing over the peanut M&Ms. No tax credit will be given for these, however, they most likely will put me in a better mood, which is always beneficial to you.

You may feel that these taxes are unfair, but let me point out that I did sacrifice many hours of my own sleep to make your costumes, and the cuteness of said costumes most likely earned you extra candy at certain houses. (I know this to be true after one neighbor gave Max three big handfuls of candy while saying "You're just so cute that I think you should have extra candy!)

Thank you,
Mom


************************************************************

Yes, I'm still here. Miraculously enough, Brielle was the only one in our house to get sick with the flu. I've been so busy with work that I kept saying that I didn't have time to get sick until November 1st. (which would be today.........)

So far I'm feeling OK. Except for this stupid cough that I have developed over the last few hours.

I have signed up for NaBloPoMo, so I will be back tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day..........


Also, last night, one of my kids received a candy bar "Snickers CHARGED"
It has caffeine in it.
:0D
I've never been a big fan of the Snickers bar, however, I may just have to rethink this.

Halloween

Good news!

Max has finally decided what to be for Halloween.



"SUPER MAX!"



And yes, you must yell when you say that.



For two whole days he has said that he will be Super Max. As we were discussing this yesterday, I told him that I would make him a really neat costume. There would be a cape and a mask and tights...................



"NO! I don't want to wear those!"



"You don't want to wear what?' I ask.



"NO TIGHTS!" he says.



So then I ask him "Do you even know what tights are?"



He looks at me blankly and says "what are they?"











Yesterday, we went to Wal Mart and while we were there we looked at all of the Halloween decorations and some of the costumes.

Max saw a Pirate costume.

Today he says he wants to be a pirate. I got excited "Oh Max, I can make you the cutest pirate costume! You can have red velvet jacket, I can make you some boot s to go over your shoes and you can have a parrot on your shoulder and an eye patch, and a really cool sword..............



He looks at me like I'm crazy and says "I didn't want one like that, I wanted one that you buy at the store."



Then I explained to him that in our family I always make the costumes. Yes I know I'm insane, my kid wants a $14 store bought costume and I'm going to force him to wear something that I've made.

I've always made my kid's costumes and I'm just worried that someday, Max will look back at the Halloween pictures and wonder why he was the only one who didn't get a costume made by mom. By the way I look at it, I'm just saving him a few years of therapy.





I think I might have convinced CJ to dress up for Halloween. Due to the fact that he is 14 and looks 17, he won't be going out collecting candy, but instead he will be staying home passing out candy, and he might have figured out that since me and DH will be taking Max trick or treating, then he will be home by himself.



Just him and the big bucket of candy.



I told him if he dressed up, he could enjoy some of that candy.

I will be putting together a really cool vampire costume for him.

*********************************************



Question of the day.

Chimichangas. Finger food or not?


Please leave your answer in the comments. I'm having a bit of a disagreement with my greasy fingered children.

Just when I thought I had nothing to blog about....

This morning I saw my kids, laying around in their pajamas, and decided that they needed a goal for today.
"Hey guys" I said rather enthusiastically, "why don't you do something funny today so I can blog about it?"
They groaned and went back to watching TV.
They haven't done anything funny for a while. Seriously, what am I supposed to blog about? The fighting is getting old. The teasing is getting old. The whining is getting old.
Then, something weird happened.

They all got dressed without me telling them to.

Apparently, they wanted something.

They wanted to go to the park. I explained that the dishes would need to be done for this to happen.

They did the dishes.

This was too weird, so we all piled in the car and we went to the park. While there, I told them that they needed to do something funny so I could blog about it, so they climbed to the top of the playground tower and had a burping contest.

We had a nice visit to the park. I sat under a tree and counted all the moms with their designer strollers, overly highlighted bumpit heads and daisy headbands that are bigger than their baby's head. I laughed because I'm pretty sure they don't realize that they're living a stereotype.

I look over at Max and for the first time notice that Mac & Cheese he had for lunch is still all over his face. I ask my other kids why nobody bothered to wash his face, and none of them answer. So then I ask Max "Did you know that you have Mac & Cheese all over your face?'
He nods yes.
"Did you forget to wash it off or are you saving it for later?"
"I'm savin' it for later."

And I'm feeling pretty good about life because;
1. He's only 4 and has already learned to plan ahead.
2. He wasn't wearing a huge daisy on his head.

Then one of the bumpit set got out a really nice, hand pieced, hand stitched quilt and laid it on the grass and dirt then rolled her stroller on top of it and sat down.
I had to look away.
(Seriously, I doubt that she had any clue how much work and expense went into that beautiful quilt, and she's got it laying on the ground!)

Max went down the slide about 100 times. The kid is a slide maniac.
Then we went home, where Brielle got out her notebook and proceeded to draw some rather uncomplimentary pictures of me. She thought this was funny until I told her that she couldn't have a popcicle, then she tried to back track and drew nice pictures. She drew pictures of herself with tears running down her face, saying she was sorry and very sad............
Then I noticed that one of the pictures of herself had a mustache, and she doesn't have a mustache.
I still didn't let her have a popcicle. I told her she could have one when she grows a mustache.

How long do you think I should stay mad at her?

School lunch. Yes this is a boring title, but I'm not feeling incredibly clever today.

As of today, I have less than one week to enjoy sleeping in.
I have been blessed with 4 wonderful kids who all love to sleep in as much as I do. They all got their father's height, good looks and intelligence, however, they take after me in their ability to stay awake until all hours of the night and their love of sleeping in until the crack of noon.

And I couldn't be happier :0)

We have less than one week until CJ starts school, then I need to start getting up early again :P
(Max goes back to preschool next week too, but that doesn't really count because he has afternoon class)
Normally Brielle and Aaron would have gone back to school at the end of July, however, this year we've changed schools and they get 8 weeks off of school! (which means 8 weeks of sleep in time for me)

We do, however, have one problem. The school that Brielle and Aaron will be attending doesn't provide school lunch, which means that if they want to eat lunch, we actually have to send it with them, which means that somebody will need to fix it for them.

In the morning.

Before school.

Which means that someone will need to get up earlier to do this. (I predict that there will be days when I just take them to school then drop off their lunch to them later)

Last school year, the kids decided that they liked lunch from home better than the hot lunch at school. Apparently, the schools grilled cheese sandwiches came in a sealed bag that said "hot off the grill" which is interesting because they showed up in a SEALED PLASTIC BAG!" Perhaps they were hot off the grill right before they froze and packaged them.
The school would send home a lunch menu for the month and the kids could decide which days they wanted to eat at school and which days they didn't want to.
This worked out well because if they didn't feel like making lunch (yes I made them make their own lunches! It builds character!) then they could just eat whatever was being served in the cafeteria.
For a while peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were sufficient, however, they got old after a while, and the kids got creative in their lunch choices. We bought them each a thermos so they could take hot soup or noodles or whatever, but I think the best one was when Brielle took cereal for lunch.

You heard me right, cereal. (She took a quarter too so she could buy milk)

But wait, there's more!

She didn't want to eat just cereal, that would be boring, she took a large bottle of strawberry ice cream syrup to pour over her cereal!

I didn't know about this until that night when I was cleaning out her lunch box and pulled out this huge bottle of syrup. I can only imagine what the lunch teachers were thinking.

So basically, this year we are faced with a problem. What to fix for lunch.
For a whole school year.
Every day.

We've been trying to come up with some new ideas for what these kids can eat for lunch. We'll start out with the PB&J until they cant stand it anymore, but I'm thinking we're going to need some other ideas.

I would be grateful for any suggestions.

Max freaks out

Several months ago we went to the store and when we got there, Max wouldn't get out of the car.
It didn't matter what we did, he held on tightly to his carseat and refused to let go.
I have to admit that it was kind of funny at first, but after a few minutes, I was growing tired of the game, and told Max that he needed to get out of the car NOW!

He looked at me calmly and said "Before I get out of the car I need to say lee............. lee."

Then he climbed out of the car.


Several nights ago after Max had his bath, he was refusing to get his pajamas on. He was laying on his bedroom floor in his bathrobe and was very adamant about NOT getting dressed.

"I not getting dressed! I not getting my pajamas on!"

I explained to him that I was very tired and needed to go to sleep but he needed to go to bed first and to do that, he needed his pajamas on.

"No!"

Aaron came into the room to see what was going on. He was already in his pajamas and told Max that he needed to get his on too.

"No! I not need to get my pajamas on now. First I need to say lee"

Then we sat there and waited for him to say lee but he never did.

Aaron asked "What did you need to say to get your pajamas on?"

Max replied "Lee."

Aaron: "Hey, you just said lee, now you can get dressed!"
Max: "I not did say lee!"
Aaron: "You just said it again!"
Max: "NO! I not did say lee! I need to say lee before I get dressed and I not did say lee!"
Aaron: "Dude, you said it like three times."
Max: "I NOT DID SAY LEE! I NOT DID SAY LEE! I NOT DID SAY LEE! I NOT DID SAY LEE!"
Aaron: "Four, five, six seven.............."
Max: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I finally wrestled his screaming, wiggly little body into his Lightning Mcqueen pajamas, then went into the other room.
Two minutes later, Max walks in without a stitch of clothing on.

"I NOT. DID. SAY. LEE!!................LEE!!"

Then he went and put his pajamas back on.



Edited to add: We have NO idea what "lee" means or where he got this word and why he needs to say it before doing anything.

I just put up a poll on my sidebar. Please vote.
(but only if you are not one of my kids)

Breakfast bluff

Three weeks ago, my kids brought home notes from school saying that last week, they would be having their end of the year testing, so to "Please be sure that they get a good night's sleep and have a good breakfast in the morning."

I assumed that by "good breakfast" they didn't mean tossing them a frozen waffle to eat in the car on the way to school so I got up bright and early Monday morning and made them french toast.

The kids were delighted, and devoured every last slice.

Tuesday I got up early and made them pancakes.

Wednesday I got up early and made them scrambled eggs and sausage.

Thursday morning, chocolate chip pancakes

Now one thing you need to understand is that I am not a morning person. I value my sleep and really felt that I was doing an incredibly noble thing by getting up early every day that week to make sure that my kids were properly nourished, so Friday morning as I was making another batch of chocolate chip pancakes I said "Hey, this is the last morning that I need to get up early to make you breakfast so you can do well on your tests!" (While making a mental note to be sure that we were stocked up on frozen waffles for next week)

And Aaron says "We didn't do testing this week. The tests aren't until next week."





Say what?




So Monday morning of this week, I got up early again to make them breakfast, but this time I got smart. I made a triple batch of pancakes and FROZE THEM.

This week the kids have been getting up early to remove a frozen pancake from the freezer, heat it up in the microwave and enjoy a hot breakfast.


(don't worry, I still got up early and cut up some strawberries to eat with their pancakes, but next week, we are SO back to tossing them frozen waffles in the back of the car)

Mail time!!!

I was in the kitchen fixing dinner when heard Max screaming. Aaron came running down the hall with Max following close behind.

Screaming.

Now this in itself really isn't that unusual. Aaron enjoys teasing Max, and Max enjoys screaming when Aaron teases him.
Usually in this situation, Max will come running to Mommy for a hug, but not this time. Aaron ran past me, and when Max got to me, I scooped him up to give him a hug and make him feel better but Max wiggled free and continued to chase Aaron back down the hall.

Screaming.

Then Brielle came into the room "I can tell you what happened" she said "Max wanted to play mail box. He sang the "Mail time" song to Aaron, but before he finished Aaron just left the room. Max just wanted him to take the mail out of his head."

Max pretends to be "Mailbox" from Blue's clues. He bends his head over and then we pretend to take the mail out of his head.

So, when Aaron came running back through the kitchen, with Max in close pursuit, DH grabbed Aaron and held him. Max stood in front of Aaron and bent his head while I struggled to get Aaron's hands and make him touch Max's head.
"There" I said "Aaron has his mail."

Max stopped crying for a moment until Aaron threw his arms in the air and ran back down the hall saying "No, I didn't get my mail, I just threw it on the ground."
Max "picks up" Aaron's imaginary mail and runs after him screaming "GET YOUR MAIL! GET YOUR MAIL! GET YOUR MAIL!................"

My kids are so weird.

Hot hands, noisy milk and armpits

Tonight before Max got his pajamas on, he wanted a drink of milk.

I got a clean sippy cup out of the dishwasher, but I couldn't find a suitable lid anywhere in the kitchen. (and by suitable, I mean NOT bumpy, which is how Max describes the sippy cup lids which he has chewed on)
Finally, I looked in the refrigerator and found a sippy cup from earlier in the day which still had about 1/2" of milk left in it.

"Hey Max" I say "Here's some milk."
He looked at it, turned up his nose and said "No. I need new milk."

I explained to him that this milk was exactly the same age as the milk in the jug, but no, he wanted a new sippy cup with new milk.
I said "I'll just fill it up the rest of the way with more milk."
"NO! You not can put that milk in the old milk!"

I opened the lid and showed him "Look, the milk is fine, drink this and I'll fill it up again."
"NO! I NOT NEED THAT MILK! DUMP IT! I NEED NEW MILK!"
I then explained to him that I would not be pouring him any more milk until he drank what was already in the cup.

He gave me a grouchy look.

I put the gallon of milk back in the refrigerator.

"I NEED THE MILK! I NEED THE MILK!!"

I once more told him that all he needed to do was drink the small amount of milk, and I would give him some more.

He lifted the sippy cup to his mouth and said...


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

"SEE! I NOT CAN DRINK THIS MILK!! IT MAKES SOUNDS!!"

"Max, just drink it."

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

"IT MAKING SOUNDS! THE MILK IS ALSO MAKING SOUNDS WHEN I TRY AND DRINK IT!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! GRRRRRRRRRRR!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

I am now unsuccessfully trying to suppress my laughter. (Seriously, you would laugh too if you heard milk growling at your son) This was only making Max be even grouchier.
"No Max, you will not get any more milk until you finish what is in the sippy cup."

He gave me a rather defiant look and said "I need my armpits to drink the milk"

He then picked up the oven mitts that were sitting on the kitchen counter, put them on his hands, then picked up the sippy cup.
"My hot hands are making the milk make sounds. My armpits will make the milk not be noisy."

He then proceeded to drink the milk which was now mysteriously quiet.

He sat the cup down and said "See, my armpits did make the milk quiet."

I poured the sippy cup full of milk and gave it back to him, and asked "What do you mean, your armpits made the milk quiet?"
He held up his hands, still wearing the blue oven mitts and said "SEE! MY ARMPITS!!"

Armpits,................ oven mitts...........

I guess I can see how he got the two mixed up.




Seriously, never a dull moment.................. never a dull moment.