Just when I thought Halloween was over.......

Alternate title: "Costume surprise! "or "Surprise, I need a costume!"

Brielle's costume

A while ago, Brielle mentioned to me that the Drama teacher and the Science teacher were teaming up for their class and were going to have the students be in a play. They chose the subject of the solar system for the play, and Brielle was chosen to be Mars.

"I need a Mars costume." she told me hesitantly, "Just don't make it very big, I don't want to attract too much attention."

I got excited "COOL! I don't need to make it big, I can just make you a red unitard, and I can airbrush the geographical features of Mars all over it, then I can make you a special headband with the moons attached so that they rotate and then........"

"MOM! NO! I don't want anything like that! The drama teacher said that it didn't need to be anything elaborate, just something that we put a little bit of thought into. She said that we could just wear our regular clothes with some sort of SMALL costume, just so they could tell what planet we are. We're only going to be performing the play to our class, it's really not that big of a deal."

I was disappointed because really, costumes are my thing.

Brielle didn't say any more about the costume and I actually forgot about it until the other night when she said "The play is tomorrow, and I don't know what I'm going to wear, do you have any ideas?"

Naturally, she had asked me this on a night when I was too busy with my own work to help her, so I told her that she would need to figure it out on her own.

The next morning, I asked her if she found something to wear. She assured me that she had, then left for school.

When she came home that afternoon, I asked her what she came up with for her costume and how the play went.

"Well, I wore my red shirt and taped a bunch of blue milk caps all over it. When I got up to introduce myself, I said "I am Mars. I have ice caps." then the drama teacher looked down, covered her face with her hands and started shaking her head. Mr. Andrews just started laughing. They both laughed through the rest of my presentation, I don't think either one of them listened to anything else I said."

CJ's costume

A few weeks ago, CJ informed me that he needed to do a book report on a biography of someone. They were going to give oral reports, and needed to dress up as the person.

I asked him what kind of a costume he needed. He said that the book he read was about a rocket scientist.

"COOL!" I yelled "I can make you a really neat rocket costume! I can make it all white, and put a big pointy hat on your head, we can use a couple of empty oatmeal containers to make you some rocket boosters, then I can make some flames coming out of the back of them........."

CJ looked at me like I was crazy and said "No Mom, I won't wear that. We're supposed to dress like the person, not what they invented."

Seriously, these kids are really cramping my style.

"OK, then what kind of a costume do you want?"

CJ thought for a moment then said "What about a lab coat? That would make me look like a scientist."

I said "I can make you a lab coat. Can I at least make a great big sequined rocket on the back of it?"

"No Mom. I don't want a big sequined rocked on it."

"What about a small sequined rocket?"

"No rocket."

I told him that he was a party pooper.

I completely forgot about the costume until last night when he reminded me that he had his report today.

"No problem" I thought "I can whip up a simple lab coat pretty quick, I wouldn't even need to put a pocket on it, plus I was pretty sure that a while ago when we were cleaning out the storage room, I saw a big piece of white fabric in my 20 year emergency fabric supply that would be perfect for a lab coat.

I tried one more time to talk CJ into the sequined rocket, but he was really against it, so I went to get the white fabric.

I looked where I thought I saw it.

I looked in the logical places that I was sure I would have put it.

I looked in the illogical places that it might have been stashed.

I couldn't find the fabric.

I knew it wouldn't take me long to make the stupid lab coat once I had the fabric, only I couldn't find it anywhere. I was even beginning to wonder if I had really seen the fabric or if it was a figment of my imagination.

As I was looking, I ran across the Nativity costumes I had made for our Ward Christmas party quite a few years ago.

I had an idea!

I got the largest angel costume and held it up. Maybe, if I cut it straight down the front and put a collar on it, it could sort of resemble a lab coat! Sure, it would be a little snug on CJ, but hey, it's a costume!

As I was walking out of the storage room, I decided to look through one more box for the fabric. I got to the bottom of the box and was excited to find a large piece of white fabric! I cheered and was about to do the happy dance until I pulled the fabric out of the box only to discover that it was bridal satin.

So I tucked it under my arm and took it upstairs to give CJ the choice between wearing a too small converted angel costume, or a lovely lab coat made of bridal satin.

He didn't really seem to like either choice. I even offered to put some lace and pearls on the satin coat, but that just made him grouchy.

I decided to go put the two fabrics away in the storage room and look for another fabric that might work. Maybe I could use a different color of fabric.

Then, almost as if it was a miracle, I found the white fabric I had been looking for in the first place, it wasn't even in the storage room!

I brought the fabric upstairs and went ahead and made the lab coat. (It wasn't attractive, but it was functional)

CJ was working on his report on the computer in my sewing room, and when I was nearly finished with the coat I had him try it on to check the sleeve length He said it was perfect, then added "Now I just need a prop."

A prop?

great.

"What about a small rocket?" I asked, "you could make it out of a paper towel roll and make a cone on the end of it."

I could tell by the look on CJ's face that he liked the idea, but something was wrong.

"Do you want me to make you a rocket?" I finally asked.

He looked relieved and said "Yeah, that would be great if you could."

So even though it was getting late, when I finished the lab coat, I taped together some paper to make a rocket. It took me like 3 minutes. It was not pretty, but it did somewhat resemble a rocket, and CJ said it would work for the prop.

Then he thanked me for helping him with his costume.

I informed him that he would now be my personal servant for the rest of the week.

What do you think I should have him do for me first?

Making the grade

The kids brought home their report cArds lAst week. I won't go into detAils And tell exActly whAt grAdes they eArned, however, I will sAy thAt we Are quite pleAsed with how hArd they hAve worked this yeAr. We're so impressed with the effort thAt they hAve put into their schoolwork And for the AmAzing improvement they hAve mAde since lAst yeAr!

I just wAnt to tell my kids thAt they Are Awesome!!!

Halloween

Good news!

Max has finally decided what to be for Halloween.



"SUPER MAX!"



And yes, you must yell when you say that.



For two whole days he has said that he will be Super Max. As we were discussing this yesterday, I told him that I would make him a really neat costume. There would be a cape and a mask and tights...................



"NO! I don't want to wear those!"



"You don't want to wear what?' I ask.



"NO TIGHTS!" he says.



So then I ask him "Do you even know what tights are?"



He looks at me blankly and says "what are they?"











Yesterday, we went to Wal Mart and while we were there we looked at all of the Halloween decorations and some of the costumes.

Max saw a Pirate costume.

Today he says he wants to be a pirate. I got excited "Oh Max, I can make you the cutest pirate costume! You can have red velvet jacket, I can make you some boot s to go over your shoes and you can have a parrot on your shoulder and an eye patch, and a really cool sword..............



He looks at me like I'm crazy and says "I didn't want one like that, I wanted one that you buy at the store."



Then I explained to him that in our family I always make the costumes. Yes I know I'm insane, my kid wants a $14 store bought costume and I'm going to force him to wear something that I've made.

I've always made my kid's costumes and I'm just worried that someday, Max will look back at the Halloween pictures and wonder why he was the only one who didn't get a costume made by mom. By the way I look at it, I'm just saving him a few years of therapy.





I think I might have convinced CJ to dress up for Halloween. Due to the fact that he is 14 and looks 17, he won't be going out collecting candy, but instead he will be staying home passing out candy, and he might have figured out that since me and DH will be taking Max trick or treating, then he will be home by himself.



Just him and the big bucket of candy.



I told him if he dressed up, he could enjoy some of that candy.

I will be putting together a really cool vampire costume for him.

*********************************************



Question of the day.

Chimichangas. Finger food or not?


Please leave your answer in the comments. I'm having a bit of a disagreement with my greasy fingered children.

Maybe my son isn't really a vampire

A while ago, my husband told CJ that when he achieved the rank of Life Scout in the Boy Scouts that he would get him a pizza from this place.





This wouldn't be just any pizza, this would be his very own pizza to share...............or not.

Now, if you've ever had pizza from this particular establishment, you will know how incredibly filling it is. Their pizza is delicious and has more cheese on it than a pizza should be allowed to have.
Seriously, DO NOT order extra cheese.

A few weeks ago, CJ fulfilled all the requirements to become a Life Scout and so late on a Saturday night, his dad took him to get his pizza.
The cool thing about this pizza place is that it has live streaming video to the internet, so you can see the people eating in the restaurant. Knowing this, we pulled up their website and watched them buy the pizza. We even called them on the cell phone and told CJ to dance around in front of the camera and pull faces.

And he did just that.

I also need to mention that it was late enough that nobody else was really there. (Nobody except the hundreds of strange people that who probably like to stay up late on a Saturday night to watch a live video from a pizza place)
They brought the pizza home, and contrary to what CJ had originally planned, he shared some of it.
1/2 slice for Dad.
1/2 slice for Aaron
and
1/2 slice for Max.
Then CJ started to eat the rest of the pizza. This was a large pizza and he enjoyed each piece.
Now, I do need to mention that I can only eat 1 to 1-1/2 slices of this pizza before becoming uncomfortably full. This pizza is very rich, and very filling.
When he had eaten all but 3 slices of the pizza, I asked him if he was going to save the rest for breakfast the next morning, and he said,
"No, I'm eating the WHOLE THING!"

And he did.

I couldn't believe he at the whole thing.

Well, maybe I could, he eats a lot, and he eats fast. What I really couldn't believe was that he wasn't at all sick. If I manage to eat two slices, I get an upset stomach.

The next morning when CJ woke up he came into the kitchen, said hi and stood next to me. The garlic smell nearly knocked me over.
Then he spoke and I got a whif of his breath.
The garlic wasn't just his breath, it was coming out of his skin. Even his eyelashes smelled like garlic.
The kid really smelled bad. You could almost see the garlic fog following him everywhere he went.

And so what did he do? Probably what any normal 13 year old garlic infested kid would do. He followed us around and BREATHED ON US!

The really bad thing was that now we needed to take this kid to church with us.
We wouldn't let him sit with us, we made him sit on the row in front of us. I felt kind of bad for the people sitting in front of him, but hey, we didn't have to smell him.

While at church, he breathed on a few of his friends.
One of them said "EEWWWW! SICK!"

You have to know it was bad at that point, because it takes something really bad to gross out a 13 year old boy.

Does anyone care to guess how long he smelled like this?

Three days. It took three days for the smell of that pizza to wear off. His room even smelled of garlic, until I made him open the window and air it out.

And he thought all this was funny.

Now he can't wait until he does something else worthy of earning another pizza all to himself.

Teeth, cookie monsters and WORD VERIFICATION WEDNESDAY!!!

GOOD NEWS!!!

Our insurance company and Oral surgeon's office have communicated sufficiently to allow CJ to have his surgery on Friday!

Yipee!

The only problem is that the insurance still says that they won't pay for the anesthesia.

We told CJ that if he gets all of his homework done this week, we will pay for him to have anesthesia during the surgery.

Change of subject.

Yesterday, Max walked into the room sobbing. Tears were running down his cheeks, and he was clutching a box of girl scout cookies.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
He turned the box upside down to show me that it was empty, and then sobbed "I was COOKIE HUNGRY, and they ATE ALL THE COOKIES!!!"

Poor Max.

(I have to admit that I was feeling a bit bad about it myself)

I had one box of cookies left, so I went to my super secret hiding place and got the Thin Mints.
The other kids (who seem to have some sort of sixth sense when it comes to knowing when a box of cookies is open) came into the room. I told Max that we needed to share.

So Max, my little cookie monster, held the box of cookies and tried to keep the kids from eating any until I told him that he wouldn't get any cookies unless he sharedvery graciously handed out the cookies to his siblings, one at a time, while eating as many as he could in between.
He looked really cute with all the chocolate smeared all over his face.

Another change of subject.

Today is Wednesday, and time again to come up with some definitions for those pesky word verification codes.

If you're new here, here's how to play.
Go to the comment box, read the word verification code and leave a comment giving me your definition for the word.

Play as often as you wish. The more the better!

If you don't like the word you got, refresh the page until you get one that you like.
Check back often to read what others have come up with.

Have fun!

Therapy Thursday

The year..........2029

The place..........Therapists office

Dr. Therapist: "So CJ, at our last appointment, we spent quite a bit of time discussing your childhood memory of how your mother told you that zucchini tasted like chocolate."

CJ: "Yes, it turned out to be a very traumatic experience for me."

Dr. Therapist: "Were you able to have a dialog with her about this in the last week?"

CJ: "Yes, I called her and we had a long discussion. Apparently, she was just trying to get me to eat something green. I didn't like green food."

Dr. Therapist: "Was this a useful conversation? Were you able to find closure?"

CJ: "Yes, I think I've finally worked my way through this subject. Zucchini tastes like zucchini and chocolate tastes like chocolate. No confusion anymore. I think that I've learned that it's time to let it go and leave this incident in the past. Mom was only trying to do something which she felt was in my best interest. I won't bring it up with her again."

Dr. Therapist: "Good! Good! Excellent CJ, you've made tremendous progress. Now last week at the end of our session, you mentioned something about these flashbacks you've been having. Should we discuss this further and see how you feel about it?"

CJ: "Yes, I think I'm finally ready to talk about it. I believe the flashback comes from an experience I had when I was about two years old. My mom took me to the store to buy some shoes. Apparently, she usually had a hard time finding shoes to fit my chubby feet."

Dr. Therapist: "So your flashback is about shoes?

CJ: "More about this particular shopping trip. I never liked shoe shopping, so when we got to the shoe department at Target, I was in a bad mood."

Dr. Therapist: "Did you not like shoes?"

CJ: "No, I liked shoes, in fact, I rarely took them off. My parents used to take my shoes off of me when they felt I was misbehaving."

Dr. Therapist: "They took your shoes off as a punishment? APPALLING! What things could you have done that would be so terrible that your parents felt they needed to remove your shoes?""

CJ: "They were always saying stuff like ........."CJ, stop jumping on the couch or I'll take your shoes off." or "CJ get your seatbelt on or we're going to take your shoes off" and "CJ, if you let go of my hand in this parking lot, I'm going to take your shoes off.........."

Dr. Therapist: "Hmmmmmmm.......... interesting. I think we may need to examine this more closely, but I think we'll discuss it later. For now let's get back to the shoe department at Target. What happened?"

CJ: "Mom found a pair of shoes that she thought were my size and then wrestled my shoes off."

Dr. Therapist: "And how did this make you feel?"

CJ: "I wasn't very happy, but I dealt with it."

Dr. Therapist: "So it wasn't the act of taking off your shoes that led to the trauma?"

CJ: "No.........No........... it was .........when .........Mom put the new shoes on me.........................."

Cr. Therapist: "Go on, what happened?"

CJ: " She tried to force the shoe on my foot. The shoe was kind of narrow through the arch, and I guess she thought that was why it wasn't going on."

Dr. Therapist: "Was the shoe too small?"

CJ: "No. It was a larger size than the shoes I had been wearing. Mom kept pushing my foot into the shoe. It just wasn't going in! She just kept trying and trying.........and trying......................................(sob)"

Dr. Therapist: "Go on CJ, take your time. Talk when you're ready, I know this type of trauma can be very difficult to talk about after being suppressed for so many years."

CJ: (taking a deep breath) "I'm OK, I can get through this. Mom kept pushing and shoving my foot into the shoe."

Dr. Therapist: "Did it ever go in?"

CJ: "Well, Mom finally took the shoe off and looked............. inside........................."

Dr. Therapist: "Was there something wrong with the shoe?"

CJ: "There was a big wad of tissue paper in the toe, that's why my foot wasn't going in."

Dr. Therapist: "How terrible for you! I honestly can't see how you lived through the trauma! Have you discussed this with your mother?"

CJ: "Oh, I've discussed it all right. I've brought it up on numerous occasions. At first, Mom acted like she couldn't remember the incident, and after that, she would just laugh when I would talk about it."

Dr. Therapist: "Did she ever apologize?"

CJ: "Well, yes, she has said that she's sorry multiple times, and told me that she felt really bad about what happened, but I still can't seem to get over it."

Dr. Therapist: "Our time is nearly over for today. I think we've had some major breakthroughs this session. This week I'd like you to call your mother and discuss this shoe incident as one more item on the growing list of things that she did to traumatize you and scar you for life."

CJ: "Thank you Dr. Therapist, I'll do that."

Dr. Therapist: "You're welcome CJ, I'll see you next week. When you get to the waiting room could you please have my receptionist send in my next patient? The poor guy, if you think you had it bad, you should hear his story. He keeps having a recurring nightmare about Elmo wearing a pink fairy princess costume."

Vampire? .............Or not?

A while ago, CJ was complaining that some kids at school were calling him "Vampire."

At first I thought it was kind of funny, but lately, I'm beginning to wonder if they might be right.


Reasons my teenage son might be a vampire.

#1. He likes to be awake all night, and will sleep all day. (if we let him)


#2. He has a widows peak.


#3. He doesn't like garlic bread.


#4. Look at these teeth! Only recently have I noticed how pointy they are.






#5. He can make his eyeballs shake. (OK, I realize that isn't a typical characteristic of a vampire, but it is pretty creepy when he does it)

#6. He really likes corned beef hash.


On the other hand, I just had him go look in the mirror, and he did see his reflection (or at least he said he did)

What do you think? Vampire? Or not?

I would just like to add that I have NOT read the Twilight series, nor have I seen the movie. Not that it has anything to do with this post, I just want you to be aware of this before leaving a comment comparing my son to Edward Cullen. I won't understand what you're talking about.

Messy mirrors and sleepy computers

A few days ago I went to lunch with my bloggin' buddies Jo, Bonnie and Amber.

Blogger friends + all you can eat breadsticks. Life just doesn't get any better than that:0)

I brought Max with me to the lunch. He was starting to get a little restless, so I asked him if he could show everyone how he imitates windsheild wipers. He immediately went to his intermittent setting, and then remembered the big mirror hanging on the wall behind him.
He got a gleam in his eye, and I knew he wanted to spit on the mirror so he could wipe it off.
I tried to distract him, and thought I did, but by the time we left, there was a slobbery/fingerprinty mess on the mirror.

I would like to apologize to whichever person at the Olive Garden gets to clean the mirrors.

The lunch was so much fun, and a well needed celebration for the kids being back in school. (Mine had been out of school for 4 whole weeks!)


********************************************************************

Not too long ago, CJ and Aaron got our two old computers and took them apart to see if they could get them to work again.
The good news is that they were able to get one of them to work.

The bad news is that they took them apart on the family room floor in the basement, and it made a bit of a mess. It sat there for a while until I got sick of looking at/tripping over it, and told them that everything needed to be cleaned out of the family room.

They got it all cleaned up, and the room looked great!

The next morning I went to get Aaron out of bed and found him asleep on the floor. When I turned on his light I discovered why he wasn't sleeping in his bed.

One of the computer CPUs were sitting right in the middle of his bed.

I told him that he needed to find a different place to put the computer, and he assured me that he would.

The next morning I went into his room to wake him up, and again he was sleeping on the floor. This time both of the CPUs were on his bed.
I explained to him again that he really needed to find a different place for the computers so that he could sleep in his bed. Again, he promised that he would move them.

Yesterday morning, once again, I nearly tripped over him on the floor. He had moved a CPU to his desk (what a novel idea!) but the other computer was still sitting in the middle of his bed, and next to it was sitting our Dirt Devil cannister vacuum.

I think he just prefers sleeping on the floor.

On the bright side, if he's not actually sleeping in his bed, I probably don't need to wash the sheets.

Sad Max

Today I heard Max crying in the other room.
It wasn't the "I'm going to scream until I get my way" type of crying. He was very upset and sounded like he needed his mommy.

I went into the other room to see what was causing such distress for my little guy and what I saw was CJ and Aaron playing "keep away" with Max.

What was it that they were "keeping away" from him? you might ask.

High above Max's head well beyond his reach, his darling brothers were playing keep away with a set of imaginary keys.

Apparently these were Max's keys and CJ had taken them away from him and he was VERY sad.

I stepped in and told CJ to give the keys back to Max.

Do you want to guess what CJ did? He threw the (imaginary) keys across the room where Max couldn't reach them.

Max sobbed.

I've been through this before. My kids fight over imaginary objects.

But now, I have an idea!

If they have so much fun playing with and fighting over things that don't really exist, then they will love it when they get all of those imaginary presents for Christmas!

Merry Christmas CJ! Here's an imaginary iPod! And look at this really cool imaginary iPhone!
And just "imagine" all of the fun you will have with this imaginary Mac Book!

And now for the rest of the story.........

About 5 years ago, CJ had put a toothpick in his pocket and it somehow jabbed into his leg. He didn't bother telling us about it until several days later when it had become quite infected.

DH took him to the doctor, who upon closer examination, discovered a chunk of the toothpick still lodged in his leg.

The doctor removed the piece of toothpick and then used a special syringe with a large cup on the end to clean out his injury by flushing it with water and then put a band-aid on it and sent him home.

On their way home from the doctor, they stopped and picked up the antibiotic prescribed by the doctor.

As soon as they got home, CJ took his first dose of antibiotic, then went to his room.
A while later CJ came into the kitchen where I was fixing dinner.

He didn't look quite right. His face looked somewhat flushed, and upon closer examination, he had some sort of a rash on his cheek.

I didn't think much of it, and CJ got a snack then went back to his room.
A while later when we sat down to dinner, I looked at CJ again. Not only was the rash worse, but it had spread to the other side of his face, and there was a spot on his forehead and on his chin.

Since this rash had appeared and spread so quickly, we just assumed that it was caused by the antibiotic. We kept asking CJ if he was feeling OK, if he was having any trouble breathing or any other common symptoms of an allergic reaction to an antibiotic.

He just kept telling us that he felt fine. and other than the rash, he looked and acted just fine.
I then asked him if he had this rash anywhere else. He lifted up his shirt, and the rash was all over his stomach.
Now at this point I was way past concerned and bordering on panic. I was about to call the doctor, but asked CJ one more time if he had this rash anywhere else because I knew that the doctor would want to know this.

He slid up the leg of his shorts to show me the rash that was on his leg.


The rash had covered his leg. Big blotchy patches of red.



Then I noticed something peculiar about the rash. Around each blotch of red rash was a perfect red circle.


A circle the exact size of the cup on the end of the syringe.

Which he had just taken out of his pocket.


Yes, while I was freaking out, ready to take my son to the hospital for an allergic reaction to an antibiotic.................



My son was giving himself hickies on his face, tummy and legs with a syringe.

HEY! WE WON'T HAVE TO SEND HIM TO MILITARY SCHOOL!!!

Last week at school CJ took a survey to see what types of careers he would be best suited for.

He was quite excited to find that his career recommendations included things such as;

Computer hardware designer
CJ is our resident computer expert. He can figure out anything with my computer. Except how to get my Photoshop back. But then again, we've had that version of Photoshop longer than we've had CJ.

Artificial intelligence specialist
When CJ was younger, he had plans of building a robot that would clean his room for him. And instead of cleaning his room, he wanted to sit in his messy room and think about his magical room cleaning robot, and when we told him to get up and clean his room, he would say that we were just keeping him from inventing his robot that would clean his room for him.
I think he was just trying to get out of cleaning his room.

Biochemist
He has always loved mixing baking soda and vinegar together.
Diet coke and Mentos interest him too.

Roller coaster designer
What kid wouldn't want to do this? Someday I should post the picture of CJ riding the little roller coaster at Legoland. The look of sheer terror on his face is really quite sad.............and a little amusing.

Acoustical engineer
See the video I posted yesterday. CJ did all of the vocals and beat boxing himself.
No, I don't get the video either. What can I say, he's 13.

Mechanical engineer
or
Electrical engineer
When he was younger, he liked to take apart small appliances and use the parts to make different "inventions" Fortunately his grandpa kept him supplied with old cassette tape players and radios for his projects.

Computer animator
We have some computer animation software on my computer and he is teaching himself animation.

Perfumer
This one has me a bit baffled. However, if he could design a perfume that would counteract the aroma of flatulence, I would be incredibly grateful.
One of our kids (who will not be named) is extremely gassy.


While I think that CJ would be highly qualified for any of these career paths, today he took a quiz that makes me think of a different profession that he would be highly qualified for.

"What profession is that?" you might ask.






Kindergarten teacher




Seriously.


You might also be thinking that it's a bit of a stretch to go from Computer hardware designer or Biochemist to a kindergarten teacher, however if you look at the results of the quiz, you will understand why.









29

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

I'm SO proud!!









I think.


Seriously, I only scored 20. Aaron scored 25 and he's only eight.


Go ahead and take the quiz and leave your score in the comments.

Thirteen years ago today

Just a few minutes ago, my baby, my first born, became a teenager.
I can't believe that it's been thirteen years since he was born.

(somewhat long birth story to follow)

My due date was September 7th. I was incredibly huge. The month of August was a difficult one for me because it was such a hot summer, the air conditioning in my car wasn't working properly, my cankles were constantly swollen, and because of the way CJ was wedged into my abdomen, there were times that I was in so much pain from some sort of pinched nerve, that I could hardly walk.
Every morning, for several weeks before he was born, I would walk into work and hear everyone gasp and groan as I waddled my way through the maze of cubicles in our office.
I would hear comments such as "Oh no, she's here!" and "I was really hoping you wouldn't be here today." and "Haven't you had that kid yet?"

Yes, I felt very welcome.

I know that my co workers were only wishing the best for me, because they were the ones who got to witness my misery every day.

Oh, and I might have whined just a little.

As the first of September approached, we all made jokes about how funny it would be if I were to go into labor on Labor day. I was almost counting on it, but as we sat at the family barbecue that day, I had some braxton hicks contractions, but nothing more than that.

I think my favorite part about that time in my life was how everyone had so many great suggestions of things that would put me into labor. My manager at work even offered to saddle up one of her horses and let me ride around for a while, but knowing how uncomfortable I was when DH drove through the gutter in our driveway a little too fast, I passed on the horseback riding.

On my due date, I went in for my regular appointment with my doctor. I was barely dilated, and not effaced at all. I measured at 42cm.
After he checked me he said "With your bone structure, I think you would have difficulty delivering a 5 or 6 pound baby, and I think this baby will be at least ten pounds."
I looked at him in disbelief, and said "You've got to be kidding!"
He replied "No, I don't joke about stuff like this. I'm going to send you for an ultrasound to see if they can give us an idea of how big he is. If they determine that he is at least 9 pounds, I think we should just go ahead and schedule you for a c-section."

I was speechless.

He continued "Tuesday is the day that we do our scheduled surgeries, so if the ultrasound technicians decide that he's too big, I'll just go ahead and schedule you for then."
Then he added "I'm going out of town for the weekend, but I'll be back on Monday. They'll send the results from the test to me, so we'll make a decision then."

The next day was Friday. We had the ultrasound scheduled at the hospital late that afternoon. I cleaned out my desk at work because after CJ was born, I would start working from home.

The ultrasound technicians (there were two. I don't know why) spent some time doing measurements, looking at the baby's innards "There's his stomach, there's his kidneys..........."
Then they saw his ears. For some reason, they really made a big deal about being able to see his ears "Oh look, we can see his ears! How cute! We can't usually see ears at this point."
I asked if they could give us a good look at his feet. "No" one of them said "We have a hard time getting to the feet when you're this far along."
I informed her that I knew exactly where his feet were. They were wedged up under my ribs, but she still wouldn't look for them.
The ultrasound determined that he was approximately 10lbs 2oz.
Wow.
She said she would send the results to my doctor.

We spent the next day just puttering around, making preparations for the baby, we rented a few movies and stuff like that.

Sunday we went to church, and my back started hurting. I couldn't sit very long (plus with my bladder approximately the capacity of a teaspoon, I had to make frequent trips to the ladies room) After a while, my back hurt so bad that I couldn't stand it.
DH took me home, and I tried for several hours to get comfortable, but the pain in my back just wouldn't go away.

Then the contractions started.

They weren't too bad at first, about ten minutes apart, but after a while, they were hurting pretty bad. Then I had six contractions in a row that were about 2 1/2 minutes apart.

We decided that it was time to go to the hospital.

When we got there, a nurse led us to an "evaluation" room, and she hooked me up to a monitor to check my contractions. I mentioned to her that I was supposed to be having a c-section on Tuesday. She left for about 20 minutes, and then when she came back, she checked to see if I was dilated, then she said "You're not in labor. I'm sending you home."
I panicked a little "But what about these contractions? They're really hurting!"
She gives me this really annoyed look and says "You aren't dilated at all. You're NOT in labor."
Then I really panic "But, I'm scheduled to have a c-section on Tuesday!"

Then she glares at me and says "Well, you're NOT ON THE LIST."
I tried to explain to her about the size of the baby from the ultrasound and how my doctor said that if he was over 9 pounds I would be having a c-section.............
She said "I can't find any test results or paperwork that would back that up!"

I don't think she believed me.

Then before I knew it, she had given me a shot of morphine in my hip. "This will take care of those contractions. Go home and eat something light, then rest."
We went home, I had some soup and then fell asleep. I slept for hours. It was the first time in months that I had been able to sleep that long.

The next morning, we decided that we would both take the day off from work. As soon as my doctor's office opened I called to see what we needed to do. My doctor wasn't in, and he wouldn't be in all day. I told the receptionist that I was supposed to be having a c-section the next day, and I just needed to know what to do. She said that she would find out what was going on, and call me back in a while. About 2 minutes later, she called back and said "Now, are you aware that your insurance won't pay for an elective c-section?"

I hung up the phone and burst into tears.

Then I looked at DH and said "We are going to the mall. We will walk around that mall until I'm in labor. I will walk around there all day if I have to."

We went to the mall that was just a few blocks from the hospital. We walked down one side of the mall, but remember that shot of morphine I'd had in my hip the day before?

My hip was so sore that I couldn't walk.

We finally made it to the end of the mall by See's candies. I sat on the bench and cried while DH went into See's and bought me some chocolate.
"He's never coming out!' I sobbed "I'm going to be pregnant forever!"
DH tried to explain to me how this would be impossible, and that I would not be pregnant for the rest of my life.
But being hormonal, and uncomfortable I didn't believe him.

We walked slowly back to the car and drove home, where there was a message on the answering machine from my doctor wanting me to call him.

I've never dialed a phone so fast in my life!

I got the machine.

He finally called back and said "Looks like you're going to have a baby tomorrow!'
Then I burst into tears again "But when I called your office today, they said that my insurance wouldn't pay for an elective c-section!"
Then he got upset "WHO told you that? This is NOT an elective c-section!"
He told us to be at the hospital at 5:30 the next morning, and to not eat anything after midnight.

That night, I was so excited that I couldn't sleep. I think I might have only slept about 2 hours before it was time to get up and go to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital, we were greeted warmly by the nurse at the desk. As she was leading us to my room, we passed a labor room where a woman was screaming hysterically. I must have had a look of horror on my face because the nurse looked at me and said simply "She's going unmedicated.................by choice."

When we got to the room, I changed in to the hospital gown, and they began to get me prepped for surgery. It was then that I realized that I had bought the wrong size videotape for the camcorder. The doctor assured DH that they wouldn't start before he got back, and he ran to buy some new videotape.
Before I got my epidural, the doctor said he could let me go ahead and experience labor if I wanted to, but he still thought that I would still need to have a c-section. I declined the offer, then he checked me one more time to see if there was any chance we could do this the regular way. He shook his head and said we should just go in after him. I got an epidural and when it started working, I was wheeled down the hall.

When I got in the operating room, I was so nervous that I couldn't stop shaking. I really panicked when the nurse started cleaning my abdomen, and I could feel it.
I asked her "Should I be feeling that?" she said "No." and then started poking me with pins. Apparently with an epidural, you can still feel things, just not pain.

I had told my husband that he didn't need to watch the surgery, so he was sitting by my head. I was still so nervous that I was shaking uncontrollably. The nurse assured me that it was the medication, and brought me several warm blankets. DH sat there patiently, and then asked if it was okay if he watched the surgery. (I really didn't think he would want to watch) When he stood up he said they already had me open, then I relaxed, because I wasn't feeling any pain.

It took several minutes for them to get him out. I remember someone pushing really hard on the top of my stomach.

Then I heard the cutest little cry.

The doctor walked around the curtain and held him up for me to see.

I remember seeing chunky rolls of fat. Everywhere. By now, CJ was screaming, causing his forehead to wrinkle, and I remember thinking that even his forehead was chubby.

The nurses cleaned him up, and weighed him.

Ten pounds, six ounces.

A nurse came over and told me that I had just given birth to a two month old baby.

The doctor and a few of the other nurses kept telling me that we did the right thing (with the c-section) CJ had a good sized head, and they said that there was no way I could have got him safely out the regular way.
DH got to hold CJ briefly, and then he was having some difficulty breathing, so they took him to the nursery and put him on oxygen.

They must have given me some pretty good drugs about then, because I don't remember much of what happened, until they were moving me on to the hospital bed, and I freaked out because I didn't think they had taken out my epidural.

As I was being wheeled in to the recovery room, my nurse asked if I had been able to hold the baby. I said no, and so she stopped by the nursery and went in and got him. I was only able to hold him for a minute because the nurse from the nursery came out after her "Hey, he needs to be on oxygen!" And my nurse said "She needs to hold her baby!"

Later, after I had been moved from the recovery room to the regular room, DH, my mom and MIL were there with me. After a while, I finally asked DH to go check on CJ. When he came back, he was wheeling the baby cart with CJ in it. He handed him to me.

As I held him I just kept thinking that he was perfect. I couldn't believe how beautiful he was. He had dark hair, chubby cheeks, and the most amazing chocolate brown eyes. (Probably had something to do with all the chocolate I ate while I was pregnant) He was very alert, and watched me closely as I talked to him.
I unwrapped his blanket and kissed his little toes.
And then he started screaming.
And screaming.
The nurse came in and told me I should probably wrap him back up because he didn't like the cold. (hey, I was a new mom, and still on medication, how was I to know)

The next day when our pediatrician came to see me, her comment about CJ was "There's all those tiny little babies in the nursery, and then there's your kid. He's a moose!"

CJ is a great kid! He's smart, he's handsome, and he's really tall. (he's like 2" taller than me) and so far, he hasn't seemed to have had too much teenage brain loss.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CJ!!!!!

Careful, don't step on that cerebellum

In two more days, I will become the mother of a teenager.

For the last few months, we have explained to CJ that when he became a teenager, he might suddenly lose his brain.




I have begged him to keep track of his brain, and he will always say to me "Mom, I will lose my brain when I turn thirteen. I don't think I can stop it from happening. It would go against the laws of nature.

And while I understand that this is probably the case, I still have hope that he might be able to avoid this teenage brain loss.
Yesterday, as we were (again) discussing this subject, I had an idea, and I said to DH "Do you think that if we started wrapping duct tape around his head that he might not lose his brain?

To which CJ replied "Mom, it's going to happen. Get used to it. It's happening to everyone at school, they're all losing their brains. In fact they're losing them all over the hallway of the school, we can hardly walk to class without slipping on a few..............."

At least he's still got his sense of humor.

Eight feet

I am proud to announce that I was able to complete EVERYTHING on my to-do list today.

1. I went to lunch with a dear friend of mine. We don't get together often enough so it was fun to catch up with her.

2. I bought milk. And chocolate.

I had to laugh at the comment left by Jo, who said that I should add "eat chocolate" to my list.
Dear, sweet Jo,
Reminding myself to eat chocolate would be like reminding myself to breathe.
It's something I do automatically, and I couldn't live without it.

I also say Thank You to the ladies who offered to go to lunch with me.
I'm flattered.
Name the time and place, and I'm there.
Seriously.
You have my e mail.
You know who you are.

I love this picture, I put it on Max's birth announcement which read;

Our family has grown by two feet!

I really love these little feet. They aren't so little anymore.

What I love most is what Max calls his feet.

Feep.

And when you take his socks off, they become...........

Behw feep.

I honestly think "feep" is the cutest word I have ever heard.

Today, Max stuck his foot in the air and said "Look Mom, My shoe ate my feep"

And in case you're wondering, the plural form of feep is;

"Feepers!"

And what do we do when we have bewh feepers?

We put "yockies" on them! And shoesies!

We have so much fun with Max's feep. He has his own version of "This little piggy" it goes;
This little piggy went to Costco,
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef,
And this little piggy had a Costco hot dog,
And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee, wee, wee ,wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee,
all the way home.

Yesterday, I bought Max a new pair of Crocs.
(O.K., not the REAL Crocks, but the imitation kind from Payless. We took advantage of the BOGO sale and got a pair for Brielle also.)

They are the brown camoflage print.
We haven't been able to see his feep all day!
(Ha ha, that joke never gets old!)

Max came up to me several times today and very lovingly said "I wuff my new cwogs"
He showed them to anyone who cared (and many who didn't)
"Wook at my new cwogs! My owd ones awe bwoken!"

Unless you didn't notice, Max sometimes replaces the letters R and L with W's.
However, sometimes, he throws us a loop by sometimes replacing an L with a D, as in
"I reedy reedy wike that!"
(translated, I really really like that)
My favorite is when he replaces the L with an R, and then claps his hands and says;
"Look Mom, I'm crapping"

That one always cracks me up.

Look at the first photo again.
Look at the pair of feet on the left. They belong to CJ.
If you think they look big in the picture, you should see them now.
CJ is currently wearing a mens size 10 1/2 .
Today, he told me his shoes are getting too small.
CJ is twelve years old.
The kid is growing 1/2" every three weeks.
He is currently 5'7".
I am 5'8".

Within two months, my baby will be taller than me.

Weird.

You know how you'll see this cute little puppy, and then you'll notice how big its paws are, and you know that this sweet little puppy will someday be a huge dog..........

Looking at the size of CJ's feet, and the rate with which he is currently growing, I'm afraid that when the growth spurt finally stops, his height may end up being................

Eight feet!