What's the problem?

For the last few days, Aaron has spent his time tormenting Max.



Day 1


Max came up to me sobbing.
Me: "What's wrong?"
Max: (between sobs)"Aaron said that I'm in his tummy!"
Me: "Well, are you?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Then what's the problem?"

Max calms down and walks away.



Day 2


Max comes up to me sobbing.

Me: "What's wrong?"
Max: (between sobs) Aaron took my nose!"
Me: "Feel your face, is your nose there?"
Max: (feels his face) my nose is here"
Me: "Then what's the problem?"

Max calms down and walks away



Day 3


Max comes up to me sobbing.
Max: "Aaron says he's going to take my eyeballs!"
Me: "Do you really think he can do that?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Then what's the problem?"
Max calms down and walks away.



Day 4

Max comes up to me sobbing
Max: "Mom! Aaron said I set off the alarm and the police are here to get me!"
Me: "Did you hear the alarm?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Are the police here?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Then what's the problem?"


Max calms down and walks away.





I'm beginning to think that Aaron's sense of humor combined with Max's imagination and gullibility are the problem.

Help solve the mystery

Last night around 9:00 p.m. our doorbell rang.
When we got to the door, there was no one there, however, three notes were left between the door and the screen door.

Note #1 said

What's your secret?

Note #2 said

I know you are in the witness protection program

And note #3 said

I know you are Aliens.



What do you think it all means?
Why was there no punctuation used on note #2?
Why does the note writer think that they know so much about us?
Why did they use three pieces of paper when they could have fit everything they needed to say onto one?
Why is this the most interesting thing I can find to blog about?


Why?

Why?

WHY?


Any of your ideas would be appreciated. Leave me a comment.

Thank you.





And just for the record, we are not Aliens, nor are we in the witness protection program. (Not that I would admit it if we were, because that would kind of defeat the purpose of the witness protection program now wouldn't it.)
(But we're really not.)

And the only secret that we might have would be that great big flying saucer in our shed, but I didn't tell you anything about it, mkay?

Wii are going to have a great summer!

Today is the first day of Summer vacation! We were on a year round school schedule for 7 years and this year we switched to a school with a traditional schedule, so is the first time we've had more than 3 weeks off between the school years.

I can't tell you how excited I am about this!

10 whole weeks of sleep in days.

No homework to worry about.

Not having to remember to fill out reading logs.

Not having to remind children to actually turn in the reading logs. (if they've actually managed to fill them out)

No lunches to make.

10 whole weeks of sleep in days! (yes, I know I mentioned that before, but it's my favorite!)

Another favorite thing about this time of year.....................

SANDALS!

Because when we wear sandals, we don't have to worry about finding socks!

(seriously, this is a huge deal in our house. I bought Max 12 new pairs of socks just two months ago, and we can only find 7 of them, and out of the 7 that we can find, 3 of them have huge holes in the heels and should probably be thrown away, but we keep them because Max really likes wearing them) (I have NO IDEA why he likes wearing the socks with holes in them)

When the kids realized how much free time they were going to have this summer (or how much free time they perceived that they were going to have this summer.....HA! As if I would allow them free time, I can think of plenty of things they can do to keep busy!) They were quite concerned, and one of them mentioned that they really needed to have a Wii to make it through the summer.

Just then, Max came dancing through the room.

I said "Why do you need a Wii? You have your little brother, and he is WAY more fun than a Wii!

Eye rolling commenced.

So here you have it. The top ten reasons why Max is more fun than a Wii!

10. He doesn't keep score.

9. He doesn't run on electricity. (He will run entirely on PB & J sandwiches.) Hence, he will still work during a blackout.

8. You can change the rules as you go along, and he probably won't know the difference.

7. If you're losing and Max is winning, he is easily distracted. Tell him that his teeth are green and he'll go into panic mode until he can get his teeth brushed and you won't need to finish the game if you don't want to lose.

6. He sings Journey songs.

5. He has a vast supply of random science facts. "Mom, did you know that when you're looking at something, you're not actually seeing what you're looking at, you're actually seeing the light bouncing off of whatever you're looking at." (Yes, he actually said that to me last week)

4. At any given time, he can quote you 7.5 episodes of Spongebob.

3. He dances to the music from the local weather channel.

2. He cheats at Hi-Ho-Cherry-O

And the number one reason that Max is more fun than a Wii.....................

When you roll an imaginary bowling ball at him, it will knock him over EVERY SINGLE TIME!

The answers you've all been waiting for. Or at least mildly interested in.

A few days ago I posted about 6 lies and one truth and let everyone guess which one was the truth.
I'll go through each one and explain.

1. I met my husband on a blind date. Our grandmothers both got their hair done at the same salon and they got to talking and decided that we would be perfect for each other.

This one was false. We actually met at a Friday night church dance. As far as I know, our grandmothers met for the first time at our wedding.

2. When I was younger, I was an avid skier. About every other weekend in the winter, I could be found on the slopes, I loved racing down the mountain, dodging other less experienced skiers.

I have never been skiing in my entire life. I hate being cold, and I would most likely run into the other skiers or any random tree that I might find.

3. I am allergic to avocados, one bite and my lips swell up like Angelina Jolie's.

I love avocados. I can eat them without being in danger of looking like any celebrity.

4. Half of my children are left handed.

False, but this was a tricky one. Actually three fourths of my kids are left handed.

5. When I was a kid, we lived in the same neighborhood as Mark Eubank, the weatherman. (until he moved) This was before he donned the evil white snow coat.

False. However, my cousins did live in the same neighborhood as the Eubank family. And I'm currently not very happy with the stupid snow coat.

6. I never, ever cut classes in school. Ever.

True. I NEVER cut classes. Because I was a model student and would never break the rules. (besides, I didn't have a car)

7. My first car was a blue Chevette. I had a stuffed Garfield sitting in the back window.

False. My first car was actually a 1984 white Trans Am with T tops. I did, however, have the stuffed Garfield attached to the back window. I bought him in Hawaii, so he was wearing a grass skirt which fell apart and the pieces flew around in the back of my car for a while.

So, if you guessed that I was telling the truth about not cutting classes, you guessed correctly.

******************************************************

Today is the second day of Spring break for the kids. Yesterday, I took them to IKEA. We wandered around for a while, bought a few kitchen gadgets then had hot dogs for lunch. We even brought home a pan of cinnamon rolls :0)

Last night, the boys figured out a way to hook the video camera into the main television antenna for the house, so when we turn any TV in the house on channel 3, we get a view of whatever the camcorder is looking at.
They spent a significant amount of time watching the wall in the basement. The interesting part was that no matter how long they watched it, it didn't do anything different.
Then they took turns running down to the basement and doing something goofy in front of the camera.
Next, they hooked it up to the DVD player, so they could play a movie to every TV in the house. Last night I found them all huddled around the 13" television, watching a movie. Unfortunately, with this set up, the picture isn't very clear, it's kind of fuzzy.
The thing is, we have a perfectly good TV and DVD player upstairs in the family room, which has a nice high quality picture to watch.

I don't get it.

Stupid flu

Brielle came home from school sick on Monday. I called our doctor's office and the nurse said it sounded like a virus and she would be better in a few days.
Yesterday, she was getting worse so I took her to the doctor. You guessed it, she's got the flu and she's too far into it to treat it so we just need to wait it out.

The poor kid has been so miserable, but worse than that, she's incredibly bored! She even had me email her teacher to ask for her homework so she would have something to do besides watch TV.

The rest of us have been washing our hands and using hand sanitizer (or sand hanitizer as some of us prefer to call it) like crazy, I follow her around and wipe down everything she touches with clorox wipes. We've been using disinfectant spray on everything. Max won't get within 10 feet of her because "SHE HAS GERMS ALL OVER HER!"
Instead of hugging her, we "throw hugs" across the room to her. (except for me, I can't go without hugging my little girl)

We've been doing everything we can think of to keep this thing from spreading. Seriously, I don't have time to get sick!

Today she's feeling a bit better, (Hooray!) however here's the real question.

When do you think the rest of us will get it?

Leave your guesses in the comments. The winner will get the privilege of bringing us dinner for a few nights ;0)

Just how bored are they?

Apparently, my kids were very bored yesterday.

"How bored were they?" you ask.

Two words................ Snail races.

The cute little voice you hear in the video belongs to Max.





On a related note, does anyone know of a good way to get rid of snails?

Top ten things we thought about doing while waiting for a really long time in the exam room at the oral surgeon's office

10. Make balloons out of the latex gloves and see how long we can keep them from landing on the ground by hitting them in the air.

9. Turn off the lights and make shadow puppets in front of the x-ray light box.

8. Put a big sign in the window that says "HELP ME PLEASE! I'M BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN THE ORAL SURGEON'S OFFICE!"

7. Use the phone to make prank phone calls. Be sure to use the name of the receptionist in case anyone has caller ID and calls back to complain.

6. Use the phone to order 127 pizzas from several different pizza places and have them all delivered at the same time.

5. Take turns riding up and down in the exam chair.

4. See how many loud crashing noises it would take before someone from the office staff comes in to investigate.

3. Make some crafts using tongue depressors and dental cement.

2. Write "secret admirer" type love notes from the office staff to the doctor on gauze, then hide them in various parts of the room where the doctor will be sure to find them.

And the number one thing we thought of doing while waiting for a really long time in the exam room at the oral surgeons office.................


KARAOKE TO THE MUZAK!!!!

Missing teeth and chipmunk cheeks

CJ had his wisdom teeth out on Friday. We got to the Oral surgeon's office at noon, the time the surgery was scheduled.
We waited 45 minutes for the nurse to come and take him back to the doctor.
I read about 3 magazines.
45 minutes later, the nurse came out to tell us that the surgery right before his had some unexpected complications and took over an hour longer than they expected, and they would be starting on CJ pretty soon.

I read another magazine.

15 minutes later, the nurse came back to tell us that they had started CJ's surgery.
I read two more magazines.

Now let me change the subject for a moment. Apparently, of late, the majority of reading that I've been doing has been online, I know this because........
I read an article, and really wanted to leave a comment, but you can't do that with a magazine. It really drove me crazy, because I had some really good things to add to this article, yet there was no comment box at the bottom for me to type in.
Oh well.
Also, when reading a real magazine, you are unable to copy and paste when you find a recipe that you would like to try.

I can't tell you how annoying this was!

Back to the waiting room...........
I read 3 more magazines, then start copying recipes from the magazines onto receipts I found in the bottom of my purse. This took forever because I've become accustomed to typing, and writing things out manually is a pain.
Sometime this week, I will be making a zucchini and asparagus frittata.

I had now read all of the magazines that interested, or at least halfway interested me. I pick up a copy of Teen Vogue.
I will NEVER allow my daughter to have a subscription to this magazine! The models consisted of scantily clad underweight onery faced girls in suggestive poses.

I start re reading the magazines that I've already read.

One and a half hours later, the nurse came back to tell us that they were almost done and that they would be bringing us back to the recovery room in a while, but first, she took us to another waiting room where we would meet with the doctor.

And you know what that means?



NEW MAGAZINES!!!


I read a few before the doctor came in to tell us how the surgery went. Apparently, CJ did great, but things were more complicated than he originally thought, and it took much longer than anticipated.

We went to see CJ in recovery, and he was rather groggy. We led him out to the car and took him home.

He's been doing great. (but then what kid wouldn't be doing great on a steady diet of ice cream, pudding and freshly baked bread?)

He does, however, have a bit of swelling.

Max looked at him and said "You haves chubby cheeks!"
CJ said "Why do you think I have chubby cheeks?"
Max: "Because you goed to the doctor and he did make your cheeks chubby. I think he putted marshmallows in them."

Earlier today, CJ found an old video of himself when he was about 10 months old.

He had the same cheeks.

Three weeks out of school........again

Remember back in March, when my kids were out of school for three weeks? (due to us being on year round school)

Well guess what folks??

It's that time again!!

As of today, the kids are officially "Off Track" for three whole weeks!

Do you remember how bored the poor little darlings were the last time?

And how I so kindly arranged for all sorts of fun activities to keep them busy?

(Do you think I could come up with any more links?)

Well, I have, yet again, planned some very fun and educational activities that I will force my children will be incredibly anxious to participate in!

#1 on my list................Plant and care for a garden.
This is something we have never done before. When I told the kids about this plan, the were ever so excited!

Well, maybe excited might be too strong of a word to describe their feelings on the subject.

Then CJ made a very good observation.
"Mom..........um............ we don't really know anything about planting a garden."
to which I reply "The internet is such a wonderful thing! Go google how to grow a garden!"

Does anyone know where we could find the book "Gardening for dummies?"
Does such a book even exist?

#2 on my list..................



Are you ready?




It's a good one!




I'm feeling rather clever right now!




Here it is!!!




#2. I will have my three oldest kids potty train Max!

I thought it was a fabulous idea, but when I told the kids that they would be doing this, they gave me strange looks and made these weird whiny noises.
CJ even had the audacity to ask "Why. Would we. Want. To do. That?"
To which I replied "Because it will be such an incredible bonding experience between you two as brothers!"
CJ wasn't buying it. He said, "I feel bonded enough to him already."

I thought I was being really clever. If they all worked together as a team, they could have Max out of diapers in no time at all!
Right?
I just think that, as kids themselves, they might have some good ideas on how to motivate little Max to use the potty.


Okay, so do you want to know the real reason I want them to do the potty training?


One word.........................



Payback.

I potty trained all three of them. Three stubborn, diaper lovin' little tots. Do you know how much poop that is?

What do you think? Isn't this a fantabulous idea?


P.S. To my sister in law. If this works, I will let you borrow my kids for a few days (or longer) to help you with potty training that cute little niece of mine!

Am I nice or what?

I'm Bored.........bored.........bored.......

I figured out a way to stop the fighting for a while on Monday.
I used the "divide and conquer" method. I took two of the kids shopping with me, and left the other two at home, splitting up the two who were screaming at each other the loudest.
While out, I managed to buy myself a new pair of shoes (on sale, YAY!) and a new outfit to wear to the concert we were attending that night.
Thanks to those of you who suggested that eating chocolate would help me endure the fight-a-thon. I bought myself a bunch of Cadbury creme eggs, which I now have hidden in the bottom drawer in my bathroom.

(The sound you are now hearing is that of my children stampeding into my bathroom to find the chocolate.)

Silly, silly children.

I would never really hide chocolate in there, because it is right above the heating vent, and the chocolate would melt.
I have found a much better stash for my chocolate.


I have hidden it in my tummy!


Maybe if they had spent less time fighting and more time...............oh, I don't know, possibly CLEANING UP THAT BIG MESS IN THE FAMILY ROOM, I might have felt like sharing the chocolate with them.

Too bad for them.

The kids have been out of school for just over a week now, and the newness of the situation has worn off. While I do enjoy the opportunity to sleep in each morning, certain signs of boredom amongst my children are beginning to emerge.

Top ten signs that my children are bored

#10. They actually helped me clean out the storage room.

#9. Two words "Spongebob Marathon"

#8. Brielle spent about 20 minutes covering her face with an entire roll of tape.

#7. Using blankets and chairs, they have built a tent city in the family room.

#6. They are coming up with new ways to insult each other.
"Mom, they told me my room smells like a dead pig!"

#5. They are commenting on my blog.

#4. CJ (my computer genius) created a new program for the computer.
It's called "Noise maker"
It makes noise.
Because apparently we don't have enough noise in our house.

#3.


#2. I have heard the phrase "Mom, please make him stop coughing on my feet!"

And the #1 sign that my kids are bored............

(drumroll please)

They made this!