Monday, August 24, 2009

Happy Day!

I just love those days when my kids get along with each other and are kind and pleasant.

I wish today was one of those days.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

He's a big boy now!

Yesterday, we finally moved Max out of his toddler bed and into his "big boy" twin sized bed.

We spent the better part of the afternoon moving things around in his room, and finally moving the big bed from the storage room into his room.

I've never seen him so excited!

He was running around in circles, dancing back and forth.....

The thing is, this bed is much higher than his short little toddler bed. (Seriously, this bed is huge. It's a captains pedestal with two sets of drawers)
I never worried about him falling out of the toddler bed because it was so close to the floor. In fact, many times I would go into his room to check on him, only to find him sleeping in the middle of his floor on top of a pile of blankets and stuffed animals.

I told him he would probably need a railing for the side of the bed, so he wouldn't fall out.

DH wasn't completely convinced that we needed the railing, until I pointed out that the $20.00 for the railing would cost less than the co-pay for the ER if he fell out and got hurt.

We had a late dinner, so at 9:00 I was ready to go buy the railing. I decided to take Brielle and Aaron with me and as we were walking out the door Max started to follow.
"No Max, you can't come with us this time."
"But I want to come with you! We need to buy my railing."
"No, it's too late for you to be out buddy, you need to stay home and get ready for bed."
Then Max says:


I explained to him that he didn't actually need to go to bed, but just put his pajamas on and be ready to go to bed.

So the three of us got in the car and headed to the Mart of Wal.

When we were nearly there, we noticed fireworks in the sky. We automatically assumed that they were in celebration of Bagsalody Day.

When we got in the store, we got our mandatory shopping cart with the squeaky wheel that causes everyone to stare at us and mock us as we're walking by, and headed back to find the railing. We looked through the isle with the cribs and toddler beds and finally found a bed railing.

For $32.00.

I knew I had seen one there for $20 the last time I looked.
I finally found the place where the less expensive railings had been. They were all gone.

Stupid Wal Mart.

As much as I love Max, I wasn't about to spend $32 when I knew I could get one for $20.

I started banging my head against the stupid shelf. I DID NOT want to drive to another Wal Mart. I whined for a while, looked around the aisle a bit more, then back on the shelf (you know, in case one of the cheaper railings just materialized out of nowhere while I had my back turned) then decided to leave and make the trek across town to the other Wal Mart.

For some reason, as we were leaving we walked down a different aisle and lo and behold, what was sitting there right in the middle of the shelf, surrounded by items that were completely unrelated to bed railings?

One box containing the last $20 bed rail.

I might have done the happy dance right there in the middle of Wal Mart. (my kids just love it when I do the happy dance in public) (they really do)

When we got home, Max was in his pajamas and exceedingly excited about the new bed rail.
We sat down on his bedroom floor and opened the box. The outside said that there was some assembly required, but that no tools were needed to assemble the rail.

I tried to dump the parts out on the floor, but they were wedged inside the box so tightly that it took two of us to pry them out of there.
I pulled apart all of the plastic bags then read the instructions. The first line said (and I kid you not)
"Sit down, and take a deep breath."

So we all sat down and took a deep breath.

Then the instructions said not to be overwhelmed and assured us that the assembly would be easier than it looked.

The instructions were numbered and I followed each one exactly, until I got to the part where we had to assemble the lower rail. I put it together, and it promptly fell apart.
I tried it again. It fell apart again.
I even tried to take another deep breath, but it still fell apart.

I was beginning to wonder if I should have shelled out the extra twelve dollars for the other railing. I think it came assembled.

The instructions didn't even any diagrams to follow, so we just threw out the directions and tried to make it look like the picture on the box, and guess what?
I got it together the first time!

As it turns out, those directions left out a whole, crucial step in assembling the railing.

Stupid instructions.

I have to wonder if the person writing these instructions was about to quit their job the next day and really wanted to cause a problem for the company who manufactures them.
Or they are a practical jokester, and giggled the whole time they were writing the instructions, knowing the frustration that it would cause parents.
Or, whoever was translating the the directions from the language they were originally written in, got distracted and completely missed step 5.

Either way, we finally got the railing put together, and Max got to sleep in his big boy bed. I checked on him a few times after he fell asleep and guess where he was?

Laying right next to the wall, as far away from the rail as possible.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Happy Bagsalody Day!

Remember my post from yesterday where Brielle was being mean to me? Then when I told her she couldn't have a popcicle because she was being rude, she started sucking up so I would let her have a popcicle, and I still wouldn't let her have the popcicle because the only reason she was being nice to me was so that she could have the popcicle, not because she was actually sorry that she had been rude.
Today, I was looking at the calendar on my iPod and I noticed that there was an event scheduled on Saturday, August 22.
I couldn't think of anything we had scheduled for that day, so I clicked on it to see what we were doing.

Apparently, August 22 is Bagsalody day.

What is Bagsalody Day you ask? Well, I didn't know either, so I looked at the memo section for that day, and this is what I read.

"This is a day in honor of my mom being pretty. I hope everyone thinks my mom is pretty. I love you mom."

So there you have it.

How do you think I should celebrate Bagsalody Day? Should there be gifts involved? Cheesecake? Chocolate?

Brielle just finished her popcicle.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Just when I thought I had nothing to blog about....

This morning I saw my kids, laying around in their pajamas, and decided that they needed a goal for today.
"Hey guys" I said rather enthusiastically, "why don't you do something funny today so I can blog about it?"
They groaned and went back to watching TV.
They haven't done anything funny for a while. Seriously, what am I supposed to blog about? The fighting is getting old. The teasing is getting old. The whining is getting old.
Then, something weird happened.

They all got dressed without me telling them to.

Apparently, they wanted something.

They wanted to go to the park. I explained that the dishes would need to be done for this to happen.

They did the dishes.

This was too weird, so we all piled in the car and we went to the park. While there, I told them that they needed to do something funny so I could blog about it, so they climbed to the top of the playground tower and had a burping contest.

We had a nice visit to the park. I sat under a tree and counted all the moms with their designer strollers, overly highlighted bumpit heads and daisy headbands that are bigger than their baby's head. I laughed because I'm pretty sure they don't realize that they're living a stereotype.

I look over at Max and for the first time notice that Mac & Cheese he had for lunch is still all over his face. I ask my other kids why nobody bothered to wash his face, and none of them answer. So then I ask Max "Did you know that you have Mac & Cheese all over your face?'
He nods yes.
"Did you forget to wash it off or are you saving it for later?"
"I'm savin' it for later."

And I'm feeling pretty good about life because;
1. He's only 4 and has already learned to plan ahead.
2. He wasn't wearing a huge daisy on his head.

Then one of the bumpit set got out a really nice, hand pieced, hand stitched quilt and laid it on the grass and dirt then rolled her stroller on top of it and sat down.
I had to look away.
(Seriously, I doubt that she had any clue how much work and expense went into that beautiful quilt, and she's got it laying on the ground!)

Max went down the slide about 100 times. The kid is a slide maniac.
Then we went home, where Brielle got out her notebook and proceeded to draw some rather uncomplimentary pictures of me. She thought this was funny until I told her that she couldn't have a popcicle, then she tried to back track and drew nice pictures. She drew pictures of herself with tears running down her face, saying she was sorry and very sad............
Then I noticed that one of the pictures of herself had a mustache, and she doesn't have a mustache.
I still didn't let her have a popcicle. I told her she could have one when she grows a mustache.

How long do you think I should stay mad at her?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

School lunch. Yes this is a boring title, but I'm not feeling incredibly clever today.

As of today, I have less than one week to enjoy sleeping in.
I have been blessed with 4 wonderful kids who all love to sleep in as much as I do. They all got their father's height, good looks and intelligence, however, they take after me in their ability to stay awake until all hours of the night and their love of sleeping in until the crack of noon.

And I couldn't be happier :0)

We have less than one week until CJ starts school, then I need to start getting up early again :P
(Max goes back to preschool next week too, but that doesn't really count because he has afternoon class)
Normally Brielle and Aaron would have gone back to school at the end of July, however, this year we've changed schools and they get 8 weeks off of school! (which means 8 weeks of sleep in time for me)

We do, however, have one problem. The school that Brielle and Aaron will be attending doesn't provide school lunch, which means that if they want to eat lunch, we actually have to send it with them, which means that somebody will need to fix it for them.

In the morning.

Before school.

Which means that someone will need to get up earlier to do this. (I predict that there will be days when I just take them to school then drop off their lunch to them later)

Last school year, the kids decided that they liked lunch from home better than the hot lunch at school. Apparently, the schools grilled cheese sandwiches came in a sealed bag that said "hot off the grill" which is interesting because they showed up in a SEALED PLASTIC BAG!" Perhaps they were hot off the grill right before they froze and packaged them.
The school would send home a lunch menu for the month and the kids could decide which days they wanted to eat at school and which days they didn't want to.
This worked out well because if they didn't feel like making lunch (yes I made them make their own lunches! It builds character!) then they could just eat whatever was being served in the cafeteria.
For a while peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were sufficient, however, they got old after a while, and the kids got creative in their lunch choices. We bought them each a thermos so they could take hot soup or noodles or whatever, but I think the best one was when Brielle took cereal for lunch.

You heard me right, cereal. (She took a quarter too so she could buy milk)

But wait, there's more!

She didn't want to eat just cereal, that would be boring, she took a large bottle of strawberry ice cream syrup to pour over her cereal!

I didn't know about this until that night when I was cleaning out her lunch box and pulled out this huge bottle of syrup. I can only imagine what the lunch teachers were thinking.

So basically, this year we are faced with a problem. What to fix for lunch.
For a whole school year.
Every day.

We've been trying to come up with some new ideas for what these kids can eat for lunch. We'll start out with the PB&J until they cant stand it anymore, but I'm thinking we're going to need some other ideas.

I would be grateful for any suggestions.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Cleanliness is next to impossible

Today I came to the most horrible realization that I need to clean my office.

I work from home and I'm lucky enough to have a room of my own to work in. (unlike our last house where I worked on the kitchen table, but my stuff was spread out all over the living room and kitchen)
My goal for the week is to organize my work space. I think I will be able to think better and therefore work better. The biggest problem is that the only time the mess bothers me is when I'm working, but then I don't have time to do anything about it because, I'm working, and then when I'm not working, it doesn't really bother me because I'm not in my office and I forget. (well, I don't really forget, but it does slide down a few notches on my list of priorities)

Honestly, I would love to get everything organized............if it wasn't so darn much work!

A few days ago, one of the offspring took it upon himself to rearrange a stack of papers on my computer desk. (thanks a bunch kiddo) the problem being that he didn't take the whole stack at once, but in different chunks, mixing the papers up as he went along. I think some of them may have even fallen behind the desk.
Last night, I spent nearly an hour re-sorting these papers into more sub categories of piles.

I left the room for a minute and when I came back, another child was sitting in my computer chair. On top of two stacks of papers, which will now need to be re-sorted again.
I need to get a new chair. The arms on the chair are cracked and keep pinching my elbows whenever I lean my arms on them, and there seems to be a little sensor in the seat of the chair. This sensor detects when I'm sitting down to work and sends signals to the children. They then need me to do something immediately.
There is another sensor in the chair that tells the kids when I leave the chair, then they slide right into the chair to use the computer.
It would be great if they were using it for some educational purpose, however, as of late, their favorite thing to do is to go to YouTube and watch videos of some guy putting cell phones in a blender and blending them.
I told Aaron that he really shouldn't be watching these because I didn't want him getting any ideas, and he said "If I watch it on YouTube, and see what happens, then I don't need to try it myself.

Oh how I wish that 6 years ago someone would have filmed themselves flushing various items down the toilet so Aaron wouldn't have felt the need to try that himself.

Do you have any idea how much it costs when the plumber has to remove your toilet from the floor to remove items that didn't flush all the way down?
Well, I know what it costs to have TWO toilets removed on the same day because both of them were hopelessly clogged by unflushable items.
Were you aware that plumbers don't give you any sort of a discount for stuff like that?

Anyway, back to my messy office. Max came in my office while I was sorting.
"Whatcha doin' mom?"
"I'm cleaning my office."
Then he left only to return with a garbage bag.
"I'm going to help you clean!"
Which would have been great, but Max thinks that any piece of paper that isn't blank is garbage (unless it has original artwork by him) The only paper worth saving is blank paper that that can potentially be drawn on.
Here's the deal, there was no way that I was going to let my 4 year old son clean my office. The kid loves the shredder.

I finally gave up for the night. I will start again today.

Wish me luck.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Things that really bug me

Things that really bug me.

1. Orange construction cones in long lines on the road, causing me to merge into the other lane of traffic.

2. People who completely ignore the signs telling us that everyone will be needing to merge into the other lane of traffic, and speed forward in the lane being eliminated and expect the people at the front of the line (who merged back when they were supposed to) to let them butt in front of everyone else who knew enough to merge back when the traffic was actually moving, thus causing the traffic to move even slower. (because apparently, wherever they need to go is WAY more important than where everyone else needs to go) (and they're stupid)

3. People who let the rude people from #2 in front of them.

4. Getting past all of the construction cones only to discover that there is no construction happening anywhere.


The best compliment that I have received this week.

"I like these cookies, they taste like clay, but better than clay."

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Actual conversation between me and the kids while wandering through the parking lot at Wal Mart last night at 10:30 pm

Me: "Where did we park? "

Brielle: "I don't know, wasn't it over this way?"

Me: "No, I don't think so, I think it was more over that way. It drives me crazy when we bring Dad's car, because it's harder to find."

Aaron: "I think I remember walking down this way."

Me: "Are you sure? I kind of remember facing south when we parked."

Aaron: "Didn't we park next to a tree?"

Me: " I don't think so, I don't like parking in those spots with the trees."

Brielle: "Why didn't we bring your car mom?"

Me: "I wish we had, then I could hit the button on the keys and the horn would honk."

Aaron: "Maybe it was over on this row."

Brielle: "No, I think it was closer to this entrance."

Me: "What color is Dad's car anyway?"

Brielle: "MOM! You know what color it is, it's silver."

Me: "Or is it more of a gray?"

Aaron: "I'm pretty sure we parked by a tree."

Brielle: "Look over there Mom, that car is just like your car!"

Me: "It does look kind of like my car doesn't it?"

Brielle: "I wish it was your car, then we would know where it was."

Aaron: "Hey Mom! Look at the license plate! That IS your car!"

Brielle: "Oh yeah, we did come in your car!"

If I hadn't brought the kids with me to Wal Mart, I might still be wandering around, looking for the wrong car.....................

Don't judge. It was dark outside.

Friday, August 7, 2009

The reason I hope that Ikea doesn't have security cameras pointed at the escalator

The kids have been wanting to go to Ikea for the last few weeks. Especially Max. He LOVES to go to Ikea. (this may or may not have something to do with their fresh cinnamon rolls......)
Today I realized that there were a few things that I wanted to buy from there, so we all piled into the car and headed to Ikea.

We got an AMAZING parking place. Right up close. (this has absolutely nothing to do with my story, it's just that I rarely get a decent parking place, and I was really excited about this)

As we were walking into Ikea, Max got excited, because he realized that he would get to RIDE THE ESCALATOR!

We got on the escalator without incident. Of course, Max had a grip on my hand, but other than that, he did pretty well getting on.

Halfway up my phone started ringing. I briefly let go of Max's hand to get my phone out of my pocket and Max panicked. He started screaming "HOLD MY HAND! HOLD MY HAND! DON'T LET GO! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!!
I nearly dropped the phone as he was grabbing onto my hand with both of his hands. I transferred the phone to my other hand so I could hold on to Max's hand and then he saw the top of the escalator approaching and.......


Then he grabbed the front of my shirt, lifted his legs off the escalator and hung there, pulling my shirt way down and...........

Yes, I might have sort of flashed a group of people standing at the top of the escalator.

Seriously, does anyone know if Ikea has a security camera pointed at the escalator? I'm really worried that this is going to end up on YouTube.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Maybe my son isn't really a vampire

A while ago, my husband told CJ that when he achieved the rank of Life Scout in the Boy Scouts that he would get him a pizza from this place.

This wouldn't be just any pizza, this would be his very own pizza to share...............or not.

Now, if you've ever had pizza from this particular establishment, you will know how incredibly filling it is. Their pizza is delicious and has more cheese on it than a pizza should be allowed to have.
Seriously, DO NOT order extra cheese.

A few weeks ago, CJ fulfilled all the requirements to become a Life Scout and so late on a Saturday night, his dad took him to get his pizza.
The cool thing about this pizza place is that it has live streaming video to the internet, so you can see the people eating in the restaurant. Knowing this, we pulled up their website and watched them buy the pizza. We even called them on the cell phone and told CJ to dance around in front of the camera and pull faces.

And he did just that.

I also need to mention that it was late enough that nobody else was really there. (Nobody except the hundreds of strange people that who probably like to stay up late on a Saturday night to watch a live video from a pizza place)
They brought the pizza home, and contrary to what CJ had originally planned, he shared some of it.
1/2 slice for Dad.
1/2 slice for Aaron
1/2 slice for Max.
Then CJ started to eat the rest of the pizza. This was a large pizza and he enjoyed each piece.
Now, I do need to mention that I can only eat 1 to 1-1/2 slices of this pizza before becoming uncomfortably full. This pizza is very rich, and very filling.
When he had eaten all but 3 slices of the pizza, I asked him if he was going to save the rest for breakfast the next morning, and he said,
"No, I'm eating the WHOLE THING!"

And he did.

I couldn't believe he at the whole thing.

Well, maybe I could, he eats a lot, and he eats fast. What I really couldn't believe was that he wasn't at all sick. If I manage to eat two slices, I get an upset stomach.

The next morning when CJ woke up he came into the kitchen, said hi and stood next to me. The garlic smell nearly knocked me over.
Then he spoke and I got a whif of his breath.
The garlic wasn't just his breath, it was coming out of his skin. Even his eyelashes smelled like garlic.
The kid really smelled bad. You could almost see the garlic fog following him everywhere he went.

And so what did he do? Probably what any normal 13 year old garlic infested kid would do. He followed us around and BREATHED ON US!

The really bad thing was that now we needed to take this kid to church with us.
We wouldn't let him sit with us, we made him sit on the row in front of us. I felt kind of bad for the people sitting in front of him, but hey, we didn't have to smell him.

While at church, he breathed on a few of his friends.
One of them said "EEWWWW! SICK!"

You have to know it was bad at that point, because it takes something really bad to gross out a 13 year old boy.

Does anyone care to guess how long he smelled like this?

Three days. It took three days for the smell of that pizza to wear off. His room even smelled of garlic, until I made him open the window and air it out.

And he thought all this was funny.

Now he can't wait until he does something else worthy of earning another pizza all to himself.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Apparently I've been too vague when posting about things that have disturbed me

Yesterday I posted this photo.

And said that I found one of them.

And I did find one of them. It was growing out the side of my head.

It was a gray hair.

I must say that I'm a little disappointed that nobody figured this one out and just automatically assumed that I found a huge rabbit hopping around in the back yard.
And just for the record, if we had found a rabbit in the back yard, Max would not have liked it, he would have had a major FREAKING OUT!

Max is not a big fan of animals that have not come from Build-a-bear.

I'm pretty sure that he would like animals if we had any around, however, we do not have any pets because:

#1. DH is allergic to fur.

#2. We have new carpet.

#3. I have enough on my mind, trying to keep 4 kids and one husband cared for. I do not need to be responsible for one more living thing. That goes for houseplants too.

Now don't get me wrong, I love dogs (cats, not so much, they're too sneaky) (and please don't send any hate mail about the fact that I like dogs more than cats.)

Max is convinced that the dog that lives behind us is someday going to eat the fence and come into our yard and eat him too.
I've told him that if the dog ate the fence he would probably be too full to eat him too. (unless he wanted to eat him for dessert, because he's so sweet)

Still, dogs, cats, lizards and real birds freak him out.

So, back to the original subject, I found a gray hair!!! I plucked it from my head so I knew for sure that it was mine, not like those others that I've found in my hairbrush. I was under the impression that some old lady was sneaking into our house while we were gone and brushing her hair with my brush. (I'm pretty sure she might have had something to do with that pair of old lady shoes that I bought too) No siree bob, I have to claim this stupid hair.

The really sad part is that I'm only 30.*

Anyway, I posted the gray hare/hair thinking that all of my bloggy friends would say things like:
"Oh honey, I'm sorry, you should try Clairol #5."
"Gray is the new blonde."

But, no. Instead of being all supportive, everyone is all excited about a huge, non-existing rabbit in our back yard. (which in reality would probably fit in nicely with all of Max's imaginary birds)

Now, excuse me, I need to go to the store and stock up on some Geritol and Oil of Olay.

* This is actually my third year being 30. I will not tell you how many years I spent at age 29.

Saturday, August 1, 2009