Friday, November 1, 2013

Look! It's a bird! It's a plane!........... No it's a bunch of donkeys flying around!!

So apparently I kind of miss blogging.

I could go on and on with excuses of the reasons why I haven't written anything on here for such a long time, but nobody wants to read excuses.

Since it's November 1st, I decided I could try for NaBloPoMo.

Yeah, we'll just see how long this lasts. Any guesses?

To start it all off, I think I'll do a top 10 list.

(drumroll please)

Top Ten perfectly believable reasons* why I haven't written a blog post in over a year.


10. Got stuck in a check out line at Wal Mart

9. Abducted by Aliens.

8. I forgot my google password **

7. Got stuck on a level of Angry Birds.

6. Been training to be a cage fighter.

5. I can't get on the computer because the children are always using it for their homework ***

4. Spending all of my time waiting around for the UPS guy to actually deliver a package instead of a nice little note saying that he couldn't deliver the package because I wasn't home to sign for the package even though I was actually home so if he had actually rang the doorbell I might have come to the door and signed the thing so he could leave the package.

3. Obsessing over my stat counter, trying to determine how many people ended up on my blog by doing a search for a picture of a spleen****

2. I just woke up, and all of last year was a dream.

And the number one reason I haven't written a blog post in over a year.............

Netflix.



*Notice how I use the word "reasons" instead of excuses. Reasons are legitimate.
**I blame the aliens for this one
*** And if you replace "homework" with "YouTube videos" or "Pinterest" this one could be rather accurate.
****It's much higher than you might think.



So there you have it my first post in a long while.
I'll be back tomorrow.

Or not.

Friday, September 7, 2012

And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats..............

 Alternate title:  "Giving in to assimilation"


Several years ago, I wrote a post about technology. I might have likened people using hands free Bluetooth headsets to the Borg from Star Trek.




You have to admit, it's a little scary.



I used to silently (and sometimes not so silently) mock the people who wore these devices in public. 

I thought they looked silly.

 Because, seriously, they had to have those things stuck in their ear all the time, I began to wonder if some of them had actually had these devices surgically installed in their brains.
They were everywhere, the grocery store, restaurants, sporting events, these people were everywhere!

Then my husband decided that I should have one for my phone so my hands would be free so I could talk on the phone while driving or working.
At first I didn't think it would make that much difference, (and I don't get that many calls while in the car anyway) but then I tried the headset.

(choirs of angels singing)

I was immediately converted to the use of this funny looking little gadget, especially when I discovered that I could use it to watch movies and listen to music from my phone. No more getting bored while waiting at the orthodontist or dentist! (or anywhere else)

The best part is that my hair is long enough that it covers the device and no one can see that I'm using it!

Then random people started talking to me out of the blue. Apparently, when people can't see the Bluetooth, they automatically assume that I'm talking to them, which I guess is understandable.....

Then last week my brother called me and handed the phone to his super adorable, newly potty trained 2 1/2 year old daughter. I had a conversation with her while walking into the store. I noticed that people were giving me strange looks and I thought they were being rude.

Until I realized that they were only hearing my side of the conversation.

"Wow! Big girl underwear are awesome! You're such a big girl, using the potty! I'm so proud of you for using the potty! I think daddy should give you a treat for being such a big girl!" 

Perhaps I shall start wearing my hair in a ponytail.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Dying for Pop Tarts

Last week Aaron went on a backpacking trip with his scout troop. Each scout had to bring all of the food they would be eating for the few days they were camping. I bought him multiple things that didn't need to be refrigerated including a box of Pop Tarts, which is a treat that I don't usually buy.
A few days ago, Brielle was complaining that I had bought Pop Tarts for Aaron, but I wouldn't buy them for anyone else.
Brielle: "Why won't you buy Pop Tarts for the rest of us?"
Me: "Because they aren't good for you, they're mostly just sugar."
Brielle: "But you bought them for Aaron!"
Me "That was because it was one of the few things that didn't need to be refrigerated that he could take with on his camping trip. Besides, they were on sale."
Brielle: "Will you buy some for me?"
Me: "I already said NO!"
Brielle: "OK, let's say that you HAVE to buy Pop Tarts for one of us, which one would you choose, me or Aaron?'
Me: "Max. I would buy them for Max, he can stand to gain some weight."
Brielle: "But what if there was a situation where you were dying and you had to buy Pop Tarts for either me or Aaron to be able to live, which one of us would you buy the Pop Tarts for?"
Me: "Seriously? In what type of a situation would I need to buy Pop Tarts for you to save my own life?"
Brielle: "???????????"
Me: "I guess if I was in that situation I would buy them for myself, because if I'm dying anyway, it won't really matter if I'm eating something unhealthy, right?"

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Tease me about my age and I'll beat you with my cane!


I was recently looking through some pictures posted on Facebook by a friend I grew up with. She had been to a party with a bunch of people we had known in high school, many of whom I hadn't seen since we graduated.
As I clicked through the photos, noticing wrinkles, a few extra pounds and some receding hairlines, I was struck by how much some of them looked like their parents.

Then I realized that we are now the same age that our parents were when we were in high school.

YIKES!!

Soon after that, my husband's uncle posted a "Happy anniversary" message to his wife on Facebook. 39 years!
I mentioned this to my husband  who did some math in his head and told me "We've been married as long as they were when we got married." (our 20 year anniversary is this December)

Somehow, back then they seemed so much older and wiser than I feel right now.
They had teenagers back then, how could we be as old as they were? I asked myself, then quickly realized that we have two teenagers, and another kid dangerously close to being one.

I need to spend less time on Facebook. It keeps making me think I'm old.......


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Snippets

*A few days ago Brielle said that someone should invent liquid bacon, so you can drink it and pour it on stuff.

*Aaron discovered that if he hooks the water balloon attachment for the hose onto the pump for the air mattress, he can make a really annoying noise for a really long time........

*As we were leaving the very crowded, very hot parade on the 4th of July, I overheard a lady talking to her kids, she said "We all make mistakes in life, and coming here is one of them!"

*Aaron was making a project using plumber's putty (don't ask) and Max asked him what it was. Aaron explained how it was used and Max says "Oh, so it's like toilet glue!"

*I recently checked the stat counter on my blog and was excited to find that the number of people coming here has tripled!
At first I just assumed that I was becoming more popular, but after further examination I learned that an freakishly large amount of people do online searches for photos of a spleen.

*Speaking of spleens, my spleen has been feeling much better (thank you for asking) and for the last week I will randomly walk past one of my kids, yell "SPLEEN CHECK" and poke them in the ribs.
Great fun!

*A few days ago Max lost one of his top front teeth, he now looks even more adorable and talks with a whistle. He said that it's difficult to say the words ttthhhhh, ssssss and ffffffff.

*Why is it that when children have recently lost a tooth and you try to get a picture of their cute new smile, they always stick their tongue through the gap where the tooth used to be?

*Max has spent the last few years of his life building things with his large duplo bloks. Recently, he has discovered Lego blocks, so we can no longer walk around the house barefoot.

*My teenage son needs to get a job (do you have any idea how much it costs to buy car insurance for a 16 year old boy?) unfortunately, he has a very busy schedule with band this summer and doesn't really have time for a job. Any ideas where he can apply for work?

*Aaron just got a remote control helicopter which is at this very moment, hovering dangerously close to my head.

*We love Netflix because we can watch entire seasons of television shows, back to back without commercial interruptions. My boys have recently discovered the Dr. Who series and have watched the first four seasons already.
Yesterday Max told me that for Halloween he wants to dress up as the TARDIS.

*Max is a very good reader and has recently started reading chapter books on his own. He is now standing next to the computer, reading as I type and "correcting" everything he doesn't agree with.
Seriously, more annoying than autocorrect.



Saturday, June 30, 2012

The ex-spleen-ation for my pain....

Several days ago I woke up with a terrible pain in my left side, just below my ribs. It wasn't a constant pain, but would hurt whenever I moved.  At first I assumed that it was because he day before, I had fallen asleep on our couch while watching TV, and I may have pulled or twisted a muscle or something.
I wasn't completely sure of this, (and may have been a bit bored) so I decided that what I needed to do was to consult Dr. Google (AKA The Hypochondriacs best friend) to discover the real source of my pain.

I did a Google search for "pain under the left ribcage" and came up with 4 different things that could be wrong with me. (I made sure to do this while my children were all in the room, you know, just to make sure that there would be someone around to feel sorry for me)

#1. A collapsed lung

#2. A broken rib

#3. An enlarged or ruptured spleen

#4. A pulled muscle

Before I read these possible diagnosises (is that the correct plural form of the word? Spell check doesn't like it. Should it be diagnosi? Diagnosen?.....) out loud to the children, I made sure to see what the treatments would be for each ailment.

The top three all required, or at least suggested bed rest, so those were the ones I went with.

I told the kids about the pain in my side and that there was a possibility that I had either collapsed a lung, broken a rib, or had a ruptured spleen, and would need to take it easy for a while. I also may have mentioned that they would have to wait on me, bring me ice cream and let me control the TV remote.

They all looked at me blankly (there may have even been some eye rolling involved) and pushed me away from the computer to read the news from Dr. Google themselves.

I should have read further, because apparently, if you have a collapsed lung, it would probably make breathing difficult, and if I had a broken rib, I would be in much more pain that I appeared to be in.

Therefore, I decided that it must be my spleen.

Some of the children didn't know what a spleen was, or where it is located.
Being the very helpful kind of mother that I am, I went ahead and showed each of them where their spleen is.

It seems that my children's spleens are very ticklish, because they laughed a lot, squirmed, and tried to get away from me when I poked them under their ribs, causing me to twist around and make my spleen hurt even more.

These offspring of mine didn't really seem all that concerned about my painful spleen, and they laughed at my discomfort.
One of them even suggested that I had probably just pulled a muscle or something.

The nerve!

So later that night, after they all went to bed, I found a picture of a spleen online, and emailed it to each one of them.

As it turned out, a few days later it stopped hurting, and was probably just a pulled muscle.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The happiest place on earth?

Last week we returned from our family vacation to the Magic Kingdom. The last time we went there, Max was only 2, and doesn't remember anything (except refusing to ride Dumbo after standing in line for 45 minutes)
This time, Max turned out to be quite the little daredevil, he wanted to ride all of the rides. His favorite ride turned out to be Space mountain, however, he still wanted me to ride with him so I could hold his hand.
He really didn't like any of the rides where he got wet. Splash Mountain is my all time favorite ride, and I really wanted a photo of the look on Max's face so we sat him in the very front. I completely forgot how wet the front seat passenger would get.
Max was not amused.
And as for those stupid ride photos, why do they all make me look 40 lbs heavier than I think I am?
Stupid cameras.

The best quote of the day came from Max, after a mix up on the seating for Space Mountain. He wanted to sit in the front seat with his dad, but at the last second, he got confused, switched seats with his sister and ended up sitting in the second row. To say that the kid was furious would be an understatement. We argued with him for a while, trying to make him understand that HE was the one that switched seats (he got turned around and misunderstood where everyone would be sitting) but he kept blaming everyone else for him not being able to sit in front. Finally he looks at all of us, throws up his hands and says "EVERYONE SAYS THIS IS THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH, BUT IT REALLY ISN'T!!!"

While we were passing one of the shops in Adventureland, we saw a huge pile of pillow pets, Minnie mouse, Stitch, Goofy, Eeyore, Winnie the Pooh and Max's favorite Perry the Platypus.

Max had brought his birthday money and he had just enough to buy the Perry the Platypus Pillow Pet. (I dare you to say that ten times really fast) (No, seriously, go ahead, I'll wait.........)

We convinced him that we should come back at the end of the day so we didn't have to carry Perry around with us all day.
That evening, after watching "The World of Color" in California Adventure (really awesome show! I highly recommend seeing it. I spent the whole time trying to figure out how they did that) we made our way back to Disneyland to purchase Perry, and Brielle wanted to buy a Minnie Mouse pillow pet for herself.
We stopped at the Emporium near the entrance and got Minnie, but they didn't have any Perry's. In fact, the guy working there said he didn't think they even made them.
We made a mad dash back to the shop in Adventureland. We saw a kid walking around the store holding a Perry the Platypus pillow pet. I couldn't see any more so I asked the clerk. Apparently the other kid had bought the last one.
I asked the clerk if she knew of anywhere else they might have one. I even picked up Max and told the lady to look at his sad face.
She made a few phone calls, and there were none to be found.

Max was very sad that night, Brielle had Minnie, but there was no Perry for Max.

Riding back to the hotel on the shuttle, Max fell asleep. Max did not wake up to walk into the hotel. I guided the sleepwalking Max into the hotel while CJ video taped him stumbling around. The hotel staff got quite a kick out of him as he tried to lay down on the floor while we were waiting for the elevator, then he tried to lay down on the elevator floor, then the floor in front of our room door.
When we got inside our room, he finally ended up landing with his top half on the bed, and his feet still on the floor. He slept this way for about a half hour until we took pity on him and put him in his pajamas.

The next day we went to the beach. At first the kids weren't too excited, but when it was time to leave, we couldn't get them out of there. Aaron LOVES the water. I think if we lived there, he would become a surfer. While we were there, Max needed to use the restroom, so we had CJ take him to the restrooms back by the parking lot. They had been gone quite a while, and I was starting to get worried, so I called CJ on his cell phone. I got no answer. A few minutes later I tried again, still no answer. Finally, my husband went looking for them, soon they showed up, CJ had miscalculated and went the wrong direction.
He had also left his cell phone in the car.

That night we attended an Anaheim Angels baseball game. Our hotel was close enough that we just walked to the stadium. As we walked in the gates, we all got a Hula Dancer doll. Aaron immediately turned around and asked me if he could sell his on eBay. My first thought was that we now had a bunch more crap to stuff in the car on our way home.

The next day we went back to Disneyland. We got up super duper early and made it there in time for the special early entrance. We went straight to Space Mountain and Max got to ride in the front :)
As we were passing one of the shops in Tomorrowland, I looked in and saw three Perry the Platypus Pillow Pets on the shelf! Max grabbed one and we bought it immediately. I learned that the store would hold Perry for us until it was time for us to leave.

Win, win!

We spent the rest of the day riding as many rides as we could before it got too crowded. At one point we split up, I took the older boys on Splash Mountain, and Brielle took Max on Thunder Mountain Railroad, while hubby hung out on a bench, waiting for all of us.
We got back to the bench, but Brielle and Max were nowhere to be seen. We waited for quite a while, then I went looking for them. (sound familiar) Due to a miscommunication, they went to the wrong bench and got lost.
Brielle felt really bad, and CJ tried to console her by saying how much worst it was when he and Max were lost. They argued for several minutes about which one had the worst experience getting lost, when Max looks at both of them and says "HEY! I got lost TWICE!!"


By about 7:00 that night, we decided we were all Disneyed out and decided it was time to leave. We went and picked up Max's Perry, bought a bunch of suckers for souvenirs and took the shuttle back to the hotel.
We still hadn't eaten dinner, so we found the nearest Spaghetti Factory and went there. It was after 9:00 when we got there so we were all tired and hungry. About halfway through his mad-n-cheese, Max snuggled up against me and fell asleep.
We now have video of him sleepwalking out of the restaurant, and back into the hotel.

The front desk staff were quite entertained.

Our last day in California, we went to Pasadena because CJ wanted to visit Caltech. I can't believe that our kid is old enough for us to start visiting Colleges.

That afternoon we went to the beach again. Again, Aaron spent his time diving into the waves. We had to keep telling him not to swim too far out because he was making me nervous.
I told Max he should really go put his feet in the water. A few minutes later, he came back soaking wet, with sand covering the entire front of his body. Apparently, a wave hit him, and knocked him over.
Max shook the sand off of his arms and said "I WOULD LIKE THE BEACH MUCH BETTER IF THERE WASN'T ANY WATER!"

Poor Max.

We did have a great vacation. We also got to visit my husband's family who lives in the area. The kids got to pick lemons from the trees in their back yard (they have lemon trees in their back yard!!)
and make fresh strawberry lemonade! The family all commented on how tall all of the kids are, and on how much Max looks like his grandpa :)