Friday, December 31, 2010

The mystery of the Christmas Eve ghost dog

Every year at Christmas, especially when we are up very late on Christmas Eve we hope that our children will let us sleep in a bit on Christmas morning.

This, however, has rarely been the case.

For example, the year when Brielle was 5. I woke up Christmas morning around 4:45 because the light from the living room was shining down the hall into our bedroom. Knowing that we had most definitely turned the light off, I got up to see Brielle dancing around the living room in her new pink bathrobe, with all of her other Christmas gifts scattered around the living room.....

She had obviously been awake for quite a while.

This year, however, was different. My husband woke me up at 7:00 to tell me that the kids were ready to see their Christmas gifts. Fortunately, he was awake when the kids came upstairs, and made them sit in the family room until I got up. I was very surprised that we needed to wake up Max also, because he had been so excited the night before, and had even gone to bed really early so that Santa could come to our house without fear of being caught by him.

As the kids were opening their gifts, I thanked them for letting us sleep past 5:00 and Brielle told me this story.

"Mom, I actually woke up really early this morning, around 4:00. I layed in bed, trying to go back to sleep until about 4:30, when I decided that I really needed to go to the bathroom, so I got up and opened my bedroom door, and I heard what sounded like a really big dog panting loudly in the hallway, so I hurried and slammed my door, jumped back in my bed, pulled the blankets over my head and stayed there until 7:00."

We don't nor have we ever had a dog, so I was trying to think of what could have been making this noise when CJ said "Really? I heard that same noise several years ago on Christmas morning when I was about to get up really early!"

So there you have it. It seems that we have some sort of ghost dog that shows up early Christmas morning, to scare our children back into their beds so that we can get a little sleep.

Now the question, why?

My older kids have a theory that the previous owners had a dog that died on Christmas, and he comes back every year at this time.
Max thinks that Santa was still in the house.

What do you think it could be?

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

My obligatory after Christmas post

Yes, Christmas is over in the house of whine.

I'll just give you a recap of the last few weeks.

We had a late start on decorating this year, due to the amount of work that I had, combined with school concerts, parties and three days spent at the middle school helping the Career Technology Education teacher try and teach four classes of 7th graders how to sew.......

I think my favorite kid was the one who screamed from across the classroom "I KILLED IT! I KILLED THE SEWING MACHINE! I REALLY DID! I KILLED IT!"
I went over to investigate the potential death of one of the rather new sewing machines, only to find that the thread was tangled into the bobbin case.
"You didn't kill it," I explained to the frantic kid "the thread is just tangled, I can fix it in no time."
"I didn't kill it?" he asked. (almost sounding disappointed)
"No" I said as I started clipping the thread. I soon discovered that the thread was knotted a bit more than it originally appeared. When frantic kid saw this, he slapped his forehead and started yelling again "SEE! I KNEW I KILLED IT! I REALLY KILLED IT! I KILLED THE SEWING MACHINE!"
He continued yelling this even after I fixed it. I have a sneaky suspicion that he didn't really want to learn how to sew.
The kids were making fleece hats. It was a very simple pattern and many of them finished their project quickly (however, many more of them did NOT finish quickly, however, I'm leaving that subject alone)
I had just finished fixing tangled thread in one machine and was walking across the room to fix yet another tangled thread situation (seriously, I have never seen so much tangled thread in my life!) when I saw a kid struggling to pull a white hat on his head. He pulled it down past his chin, which was OK because he had cut eye holes to see through.
"Look! I made a ski mask!"
He had indeed made himself a ski mask. One with eye holes in the front to see out of, and also eye holes in the back.
I asked him if he had cut the other eye holes for the eyes in the back of his head. He quickly felt the back of his head and said "OH NO! I guess I probably should have only cut holes in one side of the hat.
Then he caught sight of his reflection in the window. He gasped.

He was wearing what looked like a pointed white hood with eyeholes.

"Wow, I probably shouldn't have made this hat white." he said.
I agreed.

Then he took it off and threw it away.

I did survive the week of sewing education, and some kids even learned a few things :0)

And I learned that no matter how many times I reminded the kids to put the presser foot down before sewing, they still would still forget and I would end up fixing yet another tangled mess of thread........


We managed to get all of our house festively decorated a good 6 days before Christmas!

The shopping, however, was a different story.

I still had some things to buy on Christmas Eve, and headed to the store to purchase them, however, when I saw the parking lot at the grocery store, I had second thoughts. I noticed that the parking lot at Walgreens was much less crowded, and thought to myself that surely, Walgreens would have that last item that I needed, so I foolishly went for the easy parking.
No, Walgreens didn't have the item that I was looking for, I did, however, still manage to spend $23.82 on a bunch of stuff that I didn't go there to buy.

All day on Christmas Eve, Max was really struggling to contain his emotions. The excitement of the day was just too much for him, and he fought with his siblings multiple times. We had to remind him that Santa was still watching him, and even threatened to send Santa an email.
CJ finally pulled up the NORAD website so that Max could see that Santa was on his way, so he better straighten up.
It worked, mostly because Max spent the rest of the day in front of the computer, watching the updates from Santa's sleigh.

Max was ready to unwrap his new pajamas and go to bed at 6:00, however, being the meanie that I am, I insisted that he eat dinner with the family first. He did refuse dessert, and got in his jammies and went to bed early.
I guess he can't misbehave if he's asleep.

Christmas morning came, and Santa brought Max a Fisher Price camcorder (which he asked for) and a wooden train set. He played with the train set for 3 solid hours.

He used the tracks to build an amazingly accurate model of his favorite freeway interchange.

This year, we chipped in with Grandma and Grandpa and bought the kids a Wii.
Apparently, according to one of our children, we are now officially a part of the human race, due to the fact that up until Christmas morning we were the only family in our children's group of friends who did not have a Wii.

The kids played on the Wii for the majority of the day.

Sunday, none of them could move their right arms.

As it turns out, Max is really quite good at the Wii games. He has skunked his siblings multiple times. In bowling he gets mostly strikes and spares, and he is dominant in the sword fighting.

It's a good thing that Max seems to excel at the games, because as we are discovering, he is not very good at losing.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Too cool for drool?

Today I scooped up Max, gave him a great big sloppy wet kiss on his cheek then sat him down.



"NO MOM!!" he complained as he wiped off his cheek "You can't kiss my cheeks, you can only kiss cheeks on NOT cool people and I am a COOL PEOPLE!!"

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Do you want to see a real live video of Max???

Remember my friend who is trying to get this really awesome blogging job?

She made it to the final round of voting, and today is the last day to vote!

I am asking you to click on the cute little link below and vote for her (it's a total of two clicks, how hard can that be?) (I'm quite sure that I've done way more clicking than that just in shopping online for the last few days, and voting for Debbie won't cost you any $$$ or run up any charges on your credit card)

"Cute little link"


"What's in it for you?" you ask?

Well, I'll tell you what's in it for you. If Debbie wins this whole shebang, I will post actual video of Max singing and doing an interpretive dance.

At the same time!

SERIOUSLY, HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE????

This is video yet to be filmed, so song requests may be made, however, yesterday I did find out that he knows the words to "Poker Face" and "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga.

I blame Brielle for Max learning these lyrics, however, I have a sneaky suspicion that if I ask her if she's the one responsible that she will just blame the whole thing on Naughty Bird or Naughty Reindeer. (both of whom would be appearing in the video along with Max)

Vote, then come back to tell me you voted, (which I guess would technically be a third click) then give me your song suggestions for Max's online video debut when Debbie wins.


(This may cost me dearly in the bribery department because Max is now 5 and will no longer do anything for nothing)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

School Christmas program tutorial

Caution, major rant ahead.

It's that time of year when parents (and grandparents, and some very dedicated aunts and uncles) have the opportunity to attend various holiday themed programs at the schools of the children in their lives.
Having four children, we have had the opportunity to attend several such events over the years. The music and other performances are wonderful, however, due to our experiences, I have compiled a list of things to remember while attending such events.

Seating
If you are saving seats for some late arriving loved ones, please make sure that they are actually planning on attending, and that they know where you are. When there is standing room only at the back of the auditorium, it's rather annoying to see you saving 8 seats for people who never show up.

Also, your two year old/purse/coat can probably sit on your lap. There are sill people standing at the back.

When the director of the event asks you to scoot in to provide more room for those who are still standing, pick up your darn purse and coat and slide over!

Noise
While I'm sure that your young child is really enjoying that noisy toy that you brought to keep them entertained, the rest of us are not, especially when your child starts banging the toy on the metal chair.

When the director of the event stands and asks everyone to quiet down, please, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!

When your two young children start fighting and yelling at each other, disturbing people in every direction, please, don't ignore them, or laugh at their antics. When the lady sitting next to me tires of giving you the evil eye in hopes that you will get the hint and quiet or remove your children and finally says to your children "Please be quiet, we didn't come to hear you, we came to hear the kids sing" don't act all offended and irritated. Please, quiet and/or remove your children.

When your child's class is finished, and the next class begins, please realize that the parents of the next group will probably want to listen to their kids too. Be considerate.

Videotaping and photography

If you are filming the program, please do not stand up in the middle of the row. Please move to the side or the back. There may be someone behind you who is filming, or just wishes to see their child. Remember, you make a better door than a window as no one can actually see through you. If you choose to ignore this bit of advice, please, at least stand still so the person who might be filming behind you can see their child without having to dance back and forth and jump up and down. I will not treasure the video of the back of your head as much as I would a video of my child.

Please, remember that your younger child is not transparent either. Please do not let them stand on their chair. They aren't looking at the performance anyway, they are faced backwards, waving to all of the people who's view they are blocking.

If you see someone videotaping, please walk behind them, if you are unable to do this, either wait until they are finished filming, or if you walk in front of them, ducking to avoid blocking the view, please duck low enough that you are actually below their camera lens, otherwise, they will just get a video of you kind of ducking while walking in front of their camera. Again, I will not treasure the video of you imitating the hunchback of Notre Dame.

If everyone follows these common sense suggestions, we can all enjoy our children's Christmas programs!

And if everyone doesn't follow the above advice, I will go ahead and post all the video that I have of the back of peoples heads and the ducking hunchbacks.

Thank you.


Monday, November 29, 2010

You probably shouldn't read this post if you have a sensitive gag reflex.

Last night our three oldest kids were sick. They pretty much took turns running to the bathroom to throw up. At some point during the night, they started keeping score.
Brielle was the winner for frequency, and CJ felt that he should be the winner for volume.

Aren't they just so cute?

This morning I didn't make any of them go to school (wasn't that nice of me?) I think Max might have been feeling well enough to go to school, but after his weekend of sickness, I didn't want to take any chances and let him stay home too.
They all spent the entire day sleeping, so it was like they weren't even home.

Finally, tonight, they seem to be feeling better. It looks like whatever this sickness is, it will be short lived.
Unfortunately, some of the kids "didn't have time" this weekend to do homework that was actually due today, and they want to stay home tomorrow too.

Nice try kids, because during the FOUR DAY WEEKEND you certainly didn't have any time at all to do homework, especially with all of that movie watching that you did.

So now, as I type this, there is some serious homework doing going on.

Wish them luck, I'm going to bed.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Strangers in the night.........

Earlier today we saw a commercial for "Skating with the stars" * and we began discussing** the show.
While we might have many things that bug us about the show, we also talked about how there's no way that we're going to miss it.
Max listened to this conversation then said "OK, we can watch it, but let's just keep it really a secret. If someone comes to our door while it's on, we will just hurry and change the channel before we open the door, and if we leave the house while it's on, we should change the channel before we turn off the TV in case someone breaks into our house and turns on the TV, so they won't know that we've been watching it."

In other news, the kids are sick. Max started it yesterday, and in the last hour, Brielle and Aaron have proven to me that they are sick enough to let them stay home from school tomorrow.

I wondered out loud where they might have picked up this illness when Max says "I think it was some guy that came into our house while we were sleeping and coughed on us so we would all get sick."***

With this subject of people coming into our house without us knowing about it, I'm beginning to think that Max might be having a bit of anxiety about a certain "Jolly Old Elf"coming into our Christmas Eve. We've already freaked him out by telling him that Santa is watching him and knows everything that he does so he better be good, but now he's worrying about random strangers breaking into our house to make us sick or to judge our television viewing habits.....

CJ just informed me that he's starting to feel sick too.

I guess if they all stay home from school tomorrow, I can sleep in, right?




* "Stars?" seriously, I don't even know who most of them are.
** Might have been mocking more than discussing.
*** If this is the case, I certainly hope that this spreader of disease didn't come near me, however, with all 4 of the kids sick, it's just a matter of time anyway, right.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

HEY! Don't forget the popcorn!

Thanksgiving afternoon, we decided to go see the new movie MEGMIND.

When we got to the theater, all the shows were sold out. (OK, they weren't actually sold out, there were a few seats available on the very front row on the side, and ever since the last time I sat there for a movie, I refuse to ever sit there again because my neck hurt on one side for a week)

The kids were all very disappointed that we weren't going to see a movie, so I suggested that we stop at Blockbuster and rent a few. When we got there, they had a sale on previously viewed movies, so we bought a few of them.

We've spent a fun weekend watching movies, yesterday we even dug out the Christmas movies. We watched "Home Alone" but Max really liked "A Christmas story" His favorite part is where the kid gets his tongue stuck on the flagpole.

We still need to watch all of the classics that were my favorites when I was a kid like "Santa Claus is coming to town" and "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer"(Not to be confused with Naughty Reindeer) Also, it's been forever since I saw the Charlie Brown Christmas special.

I plan on getting "White Christmas" for the kids to watch, and I've also heard that "Elf" is really good.

What are your favorite Christmas movies? Which ones would you suggest I get for the kids to watch.

Friday, November 26, 2010

These are a few of my least favorite things

#1. Traffic
#2. Crowds
#3. Freezing
#4. Getting up at the butt crack of dawn to go and deal with #1, #2 and #3.

No, I didn't go shopping this morning, I slept in until 9:00 a.m.

Sleeping in is one of my favorite things :0)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Picky is as picky does

Max isn't a big eater. He is very picky and will only eat a few different things.
For the last few years, the only thing that Max ate at Thanksgiving dinner was a roll. (no butter)

Last week I made mashed potatoes for dinner (or mashapatoes as they are referred to at our house)
I asked Max to just try one bite. I told him that if he didn't like them he didn't need to eat the rest of them.

Much to my surprise, Max took a bite.

His eyebrows popped up and he had a delighted smile on his face.

"HEY!" he exclaimed "These really taste yummy!"

Then he proceeded to eat all that I put on his plate, and a second helping.

After this incident, I had great hopes that Max would eat more than just his usual roll for Thanksgiving dinner. I spent the week talking to him about just trying one bite of everything on the table, and he actually agreed.
When it came time to eat dinner today, I asked Max what he wanted to eat and he said "I'm going to try everything on the table REMEMBER???"

I carefully put a small amount of everything on his plate. Turkey (Naughty Turkey, actually, Max and Aaron stuck him in the oven this morning, and he had been cooking all day) ham, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, corn, green bean casserole.....

Max looked carefully over everything on his plate, took one small bite of mashed potatoes, then proceeded to eat a roll and nothing else.

Oh well, maybe next year.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The saga of the Naughty imaginary animals part 3: Naughty bird, now you see him, now you don't, now you do......

For part 1 go here.

For part 2 go here.


A few weeks ago, Max was sitting on the family room floor building something spectacular with his blocks when I asked him to go wash his hands for dinner.

He pretended to try to stand up, then fell back to the floor, sighed and said "I can't get up, Naughty Bird is holding me down and won't let me go wash my hands." Then he went back to playing with his blocks.

Daddy told Max that he really needed to go wash his hands and Max repeated "Naughty Bird won't let me!"

My husband walked over to Max, picked up Naughty Bird, opened the back door and threw him out.

Max stared for a moment then said "No Dad, Naughty Bird is still here. He died and now he is a ghost, so you can't pick him up because your hands will go right through him."
Then he went back to playing with the blocks.

I went over to Max and said "If Naughty Bird is a ghost, then he can't hold you down and make you do things, right?"

Max looked a little surprised, then got up of the floor and went to wash his hands for dinner.

Unfortunately a few days later, Max informed me that Naughty Bird had "Magically" come back to life and wasn't a ghost any more.


Awesome.



You'll never guess who showed up a few days ago.

"Naughty Turkey"

Fortunately, Aaron cleverly explained to Max that tomorrow we would be eating Naughty Turkey, so hopefully we won't be seeing much of that critter anymore.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The saga of the Naughty imaginary animals part 2: The arrival of Naughty Reindeer

For part 1 go here. If you haven't read that one, this one won't make much sense.

I can't really remember the exact day that Naughty Reindeer showed up, all I remember is that it was last year about a month before Christmas.

Naughty Reindeer made Naughty Bird look like an amateur troublemaker.

This stupid reindeer seemed to have the run of the house and had the power to make Max do whatever he wanted him to. He was responsible for Max not being able to do good things like get his pajamas on, brush his teeth and flush the toilet. (for some reason, Naughty Reindeer was very much against the flushing of the toilet) and he was also responsible for things such as leaving the crayons out, knocking over block towers and scattering game and puzzle pieces all over the floor.

By this time, we had good Fewtons all over the floors in every room in our house, but apparently, the Naughty Reindeer was able to avoid them. (and when I say every room, I mean EVERY ROOM. One of the kids started scanning and printing copies of the original Fewton so Max could have more of them without having to draw and color each one individually, making it MUCH EASIER AND FASTER to make enough Fewtons to fill our house)

At that time, Max seemed to have given up the idea that NR would touch a good Fewton and become good, (and start flushing, because seriously, that whole not flushing thing was a big issue for me) So he started to make some new Fewtons.

SNAPPY Fewtons.

All Naughty Reindeer had to do was be close to the snappy fewton and the little tiny pinchers on the side would SNAP and Naughty Reindeer would be caught and Max could then force him to touch a good fewton.
Unfortunately, these did not work either, and we were now stuck with having to avoid stepping on the regular Good Fewtons, and avoiding the Snappy Fewtons so that we wouldn't have our toes snapped off.

Meanwhile, Naughty Reindeer was still up to no good.

Finally, one of the older kids had reached their limit.

"Max, isn't there any other way we can get rid of the Naughty Reindeer besides the Fewtons?"

He thought for a moment and said "Yes, we should call the Naughty Reindeer eating cats to come and get him.

Naughty Reindeer eating cats????

Yes, apparently, there are cats who like to dine on Naughty Reindeers, and as luck would have it, they live downtown and are just a phone call away.

CJ grabbed the telephone and made a call to the NRECs, and within minutes, the doorbell was ringing*

CJ answered the door.

"Hello! Are you the Naughty Reindeer eating Cats?? Thank you so much for coming!" he lifted the heavy imaginary reindeer and tossed him out the door into the eagerly awaiting arms (paws?) of the Naughty Reindeer eating cats.
"Thank you very much for coming. Have a nice day!" Then he slammed the front door and turned around to see the confused (and slightly shocked) look on Max's face.

Eventually, Naughty Reindeer managed to find his way back to our house and he brought friends, more Naughty Reindeer, Naughty Frog and Naughty Rabbit.

And apparently, that whole Good Fewton thing doesn't last, because Naughty Bird became naughty again too.

Join us next time for part 3. The demise of Naughty Bird.


*Aaron may or may not have gone out the back door and around to the front door to ring the doorbell.

Monday, November 22, 2010

The saga of the Naughty imaginary animals part 1 - How Naughty Bird became Naughty

Recently, I realized that there has been so much going on in our house concerning Max's imaginary pets "Naughty Bird" and "Naughty Reindeer" and I haven't written about any of it, mostly, because it's so complicated......

It all started last year, we went on vacation to the Grand Canyon, and while we were there, Max said that Naughty Bird wouldn't be coming home with us because he would be staying at the Grand Canyon.


Our family rejoiced.


Unfortunately, Naughty Bird found his way home, and returned to his awful ways of making messes and preventing Max from doing things that I asked him to do.


Me: "Max, it's bedtime, please get your pajamas on."

Max: "I CAN'T GET MY PAJAMAS ON BECAUSE NAUGHTY BIRD WON'T LET ME!!"


Then he would try to get up, but to no avail because Naughty Bird was holding him down.


I was quite displeased that the stupid bird had found his way home. We had spent a peaceful few months without the foul fowl and now he was back, causing problems again.


After a few days of this, I asked Max why Naughty Bird was so incredibly naughty.


Max thought for a moment and then said "Because he touched a fewton."


"What's a fewton?" I asked.


"A fewton is this thing that has a bunch of brown triangles on it and it's inside the speakers of the television."


(Yes, I'm every bit as confused as you are)


So for the next few days, any time we walked near the television, Max would freak out "NO! NO! don't get too close to the TV! You might touch the bad fewton and then you'll be naughty like Naughty Bird!!"


We lived in fear daily of accidentally touching the bad fewton.


One day, Max came up to me smiling ear to ear and said "Naughty Bird isn't naughty anymore!"

"Wow! What happened"


He then brought a piece of paper from behind his back. Max had made brightly colored shapes all over it.

"Naughty Bird touched the good fewton, and it turned him to be good!"

Then he very carefully sat it on the floor and said "I have to be very careful that I don't touch the good fewton very much, because it might make me TOO good!"

After that, Max made multiple good fewtons and laid them all over the floor in every room of our house. Heaven forbid anyone accidentally step on one, because Max would totally come unglued. I guess he felt we were in danger of being "TOO good"


Come back tomorrow and hear about the day that Naughty Reindeer arrived.




Sunday, November 21, 2010

No, I'm not addicted, why do you ask?

Due to the massive amounts of snow that fell last night, we ended up without power for most of the day.

Things that don't work without electricity.......

1. Internet
2. Television
3. Radio
4. Bathroom light
5. Internet
6. Hot Glue gun
7. Microwave
8. Internet
9. Electronic piano
10. Popcorn maker
11. Computer
12. DVD player
13. Internet
14. The automatic ice and water in the refrigerator door
15. Storage room light
16. Internet
17. Kitchen Aid mixer
18. Dishwasher
19. Washing machine
20. Internet
21. Cordless phones
22. Alarm clock
23. Sewing machine
24. Oven
25. Furnace
27. Internet
28. INTERNET
29. INTERNET!!!!!!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Cloudy with a chance of tantrums

OK, it's official, I'm sick.

Earlier today I wrote on facebook that I would like to find the person who gave me this virus and poke them in the eye with a sharp stick.
As my head becomes increasingly congested, that stick is getting sharper and sharper.

In other news, apparently, I underestimated just how serious Max is about disliking the snow. Remember the other day when he heard the "Let it snow" song on the radio and yelled "I DON'T WANT IT TO LET IT SNOW!!""
That was nothing compared to the rant he went on earlier tonight when he saw the snow falling.

He stood in front of the window and yelled and yelled at the snow to stop falling, (because apparently he has that type of power) then he started crying, threw his arms in the air and yelled "THIS IS DEFINITELY WRONG AND IT NEEDS TO STOP NOW!!"

It's going to be a long winter.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Fashion Sheep

This is a post that I wrote when I guess posted on another blog several years ago. It has never been published on my blog, so it might be new to you.


I was watching a local daytime talk show a few months ago, and one of their guests for the day was a lady who they referred to as a "fashion expert." She was there to tell us all about the new fashion trends.
Just the day before, this fashion expert (we'll call her Laverne) had gone through the closet of one of the ladies hosting the show, (Let's call her Shirley) and removed a large stack of clothes, and brought them to the television studio, and picked through them on live television.
She told Shirley that her that her clothes were out of style, and she just couldn't wear them anymore.

Shirley was shocked "But I love those clothes!" she protested.
"No" Laverne told her, picking up a really cute skirt "Nobody wears skirts that length anymore."
Shirley: But that's my favorite skirt! It's so comfortable, and it looks so cute with that pink blouse that I you told me to buy."
Laverne: No, I'm sorry, it's got to go. You really shouldn't even have this in your closet, it's quite dated.
Shirley: But I just bought it last summer!
No, it's just not in style anymore. You can't be seen in it. Donate it to charity.

Laverne went on to pick apart this poor lady's wardrobe. There was something wrong with everything.

Laverne: You really need to get rid of this suit also. The color is all wrong. This year turquoise is the hot color. Everybody will be wearing turquoise.
Shirley: I thought that gray was the hot color this year. Just a few months ago, you told me to buy everything gray.
Laverne: No, not anymore. Turquoise is now the hot color. Nobody will be wearing gray this year, everybody will be wearing turquoise!

I really felt sorry for this television host, and if I was anywhere near the size she is, I would have gladly offered to take the clothes off her hands. They were darn cute.

My question, where does this "fashion expert" lady get all this information, and why does her opinion matter so much?
Who is it in the big scheme of things that decides what's "in" and what's "out" as far as fashion trends go? Who is it that decides what does and does not look good? Why do we all need to follow what they decide?

This past winter, we were just leaving a movie theater, and a group of teenage girls came running in the door. Outside it was snowing heavily, and quite cold. These teenagers were all wearing shorts, flip flops and hoodies. The girls were all huddled together shivering, goose bumps all over their bare legs, and complaining about how cold they were.

Hello! McFly! Put some clothes on!

I would really like to know which girl in the group decided that it would be cute to wear shorts and flip flops in sub freezing temperatures, and why the other girls in the group were compelled to follow her. I wonder what would have happened if one of the girls had rebelled and worn, oh I don't know, maybe A COAT! Would she have been shunned from the group and not allowed to participate in the group activity? Would the other girls have left her alone, and then made fun of her saying how stupid she looked in her warm clothes while they stand shivering in the snow?

Why are we all such a bunch of "fashion sheep?"

What do you think, are you more likely to buy something you like that is comfortable, or something that someone else has decided looks good?

(Of course, this post doesn't apply to shoes, because most fabulous shoes just can't be comfortable;0)

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The doctor is in!

Dr Pepper's a drink I adore,
full of bubbles and fizzles galore.
Better than Coke, Sprite or Squirt,
and it keeps me alert.
Now I think I'll go get me some more.


:0)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The missing link???

Tonight our doorbell rang and when we answered it, there was no one there.

Until the big gorilla jumped out from around the side of the house, waved his arms around, screamed, then jumped into a waiting car and sped away.

About 20 minutes later, the above scenario was repeated.

The boys filled a big bucket of water and sat it by the front door, just in case he came back, because gorillas ringing on doorbells after dark deserve a big dousing of water.

They never did come back a third time, so CJ and Aaron went looking for them, accompanied by the huge, bright green paper mache' alien head from CJ's Halloween costume a few years back.

Never a dull moment.

*********************

Today as we were driving in the car, we were listening to Christmas music, and I was singing along to "Let it snow" when Max said "THEY KEEP SAYING LET IT SNOW BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO LET IT SNOW!!!"

********************

Best quote of the day by Aaron "So basically, calories make stuff taste good!"

********************

Max: "Today friend Hunter poked my friend Garrett in the eye!"
Me: "Oh, that's too bad, I'm sure it was just an accident."
Max: "No it wasn't an accident, he meant to do it!"
Me: "Well why would he do that?'
Max: "Because he's mean."
Me: "Do you ever play with Hunter?"
Max: "No!"
Me: "Why not?"
Max: "Because he's MEAN!!"

*************************


I just realized that it's Wednesday, unfortunately, the day is almost over, so just for this week, Word Verification Wednesday will be changed to Word Verification Wednesday/Thursday!

Here's how to play:

1. go to the comment box.
2. look at the stupid word verification code.
3. come up with a (hopefully funny) definition and leave it as a comment.
4. refresh the page and play as often as you wish.

It's a way to make typing in the Word Verification code just a little less annoying.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

All I want for Christmas is free shipping. And clean socks.

I've got a huge work project that I am working on that will keep me super busy for the next three weeks, so last week I decided to get a jump on things and do some Christmas shopping before I got too busy. I also wanted to get a few things before everything gets sold out.

Unfortunately, the only think I've been able to get is annoyed.

Why is it that a company can't just let you know how much the shipping will be without you creating an account and/or logging in with all of your personal information?
Why can't they just give me an estimate?
Often, the price of shipping is the deciding factor on purchasing an item at one site instead of another.
Shopping from home is supposed to be easier, isn't it?
(and I guess that technically, it is easier than driving to several different stores to compare prices on the same item, but still.........)

I don't want to have an account at every website I visit, besides, I can't remember that many different usernames and passwords. (no, I won't use the same one at each site. I'm just paranoid that way) Plus, I just don't want to give my personal information to a site if I don't end up buying anything from them.

So, long story short, I haven't bought anything. (which actually has turned out to be a good thing, because one kid keeps changing his mind about what he wants)

So much for getting it done early.


In other news, the kids have figured out a way to make some of the more annoying Christmas songs more enjoyable. (did you notice how I didn't say less annoying)

They have been rewriting the lyrics.

Imagine all of us in the car singing ..............

"Last Christmas, I gave you my socks,
but the very next day, you threw them away.
This year to save you some tears,
I'll wash them before I wrap them."

Yes, I know it doesn't rhyme, however, every time we sing it, Max bursts into a fit of giggles.

And now you'll be singing the same thing whenever you hear that song too.

You're welcome.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Because it's "cool" to have frostbite (pun intended)

Why do teenagers think that they don't need to wear coats in the winter?



Please discuss.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The reason that I am currently really annoyed with Naughty Reindeer

Tonight I was trying to get Max's backpack ready for school tomorrow and I couldn't find his homework, so I asked Max where it was.

"Naughty Reindeer throwed it away. It's at the dump."

I asked him why Naughty Reindeer would do such a terrible thing like that and he said "Because he didn't like the way I did my homework. Even though I wrote really nice letters, Naughty Reindeer didn't like them and so he throwed it away."



Stupid imaginary reindeer.






Fortunately, Brielle was able to find his homework AND his library book which needs to be turned in tomorrow.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

"Eventually" The Wal Mart edition

Today I was trying to think of something I could write about for my obligatory NaBloPoMo post, and I couldn't come up with any great ideas, so I did what anyone would do in my situation, and took all four kids with me to Wal Mart at 9:30 on a Saturday night.

So many things to write about...................

We arrived at the Mart of Wal in good spirits. Everyone was happy, everyone was behaving. We went over all of our "goin' to the Wal Mart" rules, the most important of which was "DO NOT ASK ME TO BUY YOU ANYTHING!!"

Because I was in a festive mood, the first place we headed to was the Christmas decorations. We spent some time sniffing the cinnamon scented pine cones.

At least three of them asked me to buy them. (Yes, apparently they have very short memories because we had just gone over that rule less than two minutes ago.)

We had already decided to get new Christmas lights this year, so we looked through all of the aisles of decorations, but couldn't find them. We must have walked down every aisle three times and every time we passed the pine cones we would take a whiff of their lovely cinnamony smell and at least one child would ask if I would buy them.

Just as we had given up on finding the lights, we walked past the door to the outside garden stuff area and there they were!
I could see the lights we were interested in, unfortunately a couple was standing right in front of them, and not wanting to be rude, I decided to wait until they were finished with their very involved discussion on which lights to get so I could leisurely study the lights and decide which ones to get myself.
We wandered around for a while, and FINALLY the couple took a step to the left and I sent Aaron in to grab several boxes of lights before the people moved again.

Next, we needed butter, so naturally we went to the toy department. Actually, it was on the way, and there were a few toys I wanted to check out for Max. We looked all through the toy aisles and couldn't find either toy!

So we went to the freezer section and got some ice cream.

During this time, I had completely given up on the children actually following the "don't ask me for anything" rule but instead discovered a very useful word.

"Eventually"

This is how it works.

Offspring: "Hey mom! can we get one of these?"
Me: "Not right now."
Offspring: "Well when can we get one?"
Me: "Eventually."

It's great! No exact time is given, eventually can be pretty much an infinite amount of time.

So "eventually" we will be getting the cinnamon pine cones, caramel vanilla marshmallows, cherry chocolates, egg nog, chocolate milk, sugar cookies, different sugar cookies, and a gingerbread house kit."

Eventually.

Anyway.......

Next we went to get some honey. While I was studying the different types of honey (bear bottle vs plain bottle) I noticed that the children were dancing in the aisle. Well, Brielle was dancing, (practicing double pirouettes) however, the boys were doing something which looked a bit more like they were being attacked by an angry swarm of bees.

Suddenly, Aaron stopped dancing and looked at the ceiling.
"DARN!" He said "I can't see any security cameras that could be filming us!"

The boys stopped dancing and we moved on to the produce department because we needed celery. I asked Aaron to get me a plastic bag.
He tore the bag off of the roll, shook it to open it, then proceeded to do an interpretive dance with the plastic bag.
It's a parachute........ it's a bird,..........it's a butterfly..............it's a parachute again....

I assured him that the security cameras had probably picked up on that one.

"When we get home, can we look on peopleofwalmart.com to see if they've posted it there yet?

Next we got some bananas, and Aaron was thrilled because he was able to do the plastic produce bag dance again.

We continued shopping until we only had one item left on our list.

Crazy glue.

Now, logically, where do you think you would find crazy glue in Wal Mart. I assumed that it would be in the school supplies, however, after covering about half of the store, we finally found it in the craft department.
Seriously, who on earth would think of putting the glue in the craft department?

Here's a question. Why won't Wal Mart open a few more checkstands? There were three open, and each one had a long line of people waiting to get out. I chose the shortest line only to discover the lady in front of us had a cart clear full of stuff, and her daughter was still bringing more stuff.

Now, after the long wait in line, we will "eventually" be getting some king sized Reese's peanut butter cups, a moon pie, beef jerkey, Dr. Pepper flavored chapstick and an umbrella.

Aaron asked for one of those new fangled tongue cleaners. "Hey mom! It says it cures bad breath!"
"Yes, but you have to actually use it to make it get rid of the bad breath."
"Seriously? You have to use it for it to work??"

At least he is well versed in sarcasm.

Just before we finally got up to the checkstand, a new cashier came on duty. She must have just barely come on shift because she was cheerful and coherant. ( possibly just a little too cheerful)

"Hello! Welcome to Wal Mart Miss!" (yes, she called me "Miss" she should probably have her eyes checked as I am well into "M'am" territory")

Then she asked me my favorite question to be asked by a cashier.

"Didja find everything OK?

"No" I said, "We had to look really hard to find something.

"OH NO! Can I get someone to get it for you? What was it you were looking for?"

"Crazy glue, I just wasn't sure where to look for it"

"OH NO! Was there anyone around to help you? I'm so sorry! They should put it somewhere easier to find! I'm really sorry? Is there anything we can do to make it easier to find next time? They should really do something about that! I'm so, so sorry! Is there anything I can do for you right now to make the situation better?"

"No thanks" I said "We found it.............eventually."

Friday, November 12, 2010

Oh, well that changes everything.....

This week at Brielle's Young Women's activity, the girls learned how to make their own pajama pants.
We went to the fabric store, and after looking at what seemed like every bolt of fabric, Brielle found some blue fleece with cute little pink pigs all over it.

Brielle loves pigs.

She made the pajama pants and they turned out really cute! She comes home from school and immediately changes into them. (and I can't blame her, because they look really soft and comfortable)

Tonight Brielle was attending the birthday party of her friend Audree. She was struggling to think of a present to get her, and I suggested that she make her a pair of pajama pants.
She LOVED the idea, and so off we went to the fabric store.

Again.

She found a cute print with yellow rubber ducks all over it.

As we were looking at the fleece I decided that I wanted to make myself a pair of pajama pants too, so I started looking for a print that I liked.
Brielle really got into this, and was suggesting the most bizarre prints. Bright neon tie dye fabric, bright red with big Christmas lights and big colorful crayons on a black background..........

She was really enjoying herself while thinking of me wearing pajamas made out of these fabrics.

Until I said "Just remember dear, that these pajamas will be what I will be wearing when I drop you off at school in the morning."

She paused, then disappeared around the corner. She returned and handed me a bolt of plain, dark purple fleece.

"Here mom, this is perfect!!"

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Question for the day

I can't think of anything to write about today (or more specifically, something I can write about in the amount of time that I have to write a post today) So I'm just going to ask a question.

If you had two round trip tickets to fly to anywhere in the country, where would you go, and why?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

It's WEDNESDAY and you know what that means??

It's Wednesday, and combined with the fact that I can't think of anything worth writing about, and that I might be trying to avoid doing that load of dishes in the sink, I have decided to bring back everyone's favorite game......

WORD VERIFICATION WEDNESDAY!!


Now, if you're new around here, this is how it works.

1. go to the comment box.
2. look at the stupid word verification code.
3. come up with a (hopefully funny) definition and leave it as a comment.
4. refresh the page and play as often as you wish.


Now with every good game must come some rules.

1. Please remember that my kids read my blog. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined.

2. Originally, I did not allow commenters to mock the other commenters, however, people whined and so I lifted that rule and then nobody mocked anyone anyway. I'm not sure why I even brought this up. If you feel the need to mock anyone, go ahead and mock the celebrity of your choice. If you manage to use the word verification code in the celebrity mocking, extra points will be awarded.

3. Remember, this is not a competition, but an exhibition. Please no wagering.




Here are some examples from previous Word Verification Wednesdays, submitted by my very clever readers.............



Regulsat: Describes the people who ALWAYS have to sit it the same regular spot at church.

hadsamb: A dyslexic, depressed baby sheep.

carcuse: It's a phrase that means...you are blaming your car for it.

cheds: "What's the matter with dis chihuahua? It CHEDS!! Chihuahuas aren't supposed to CHED!!"

Gasce - a fancy way to say you just farted.

dionsubi - if Brad Pitt and Madonna ever adopt a child together, I bet that would be his name.

Ratophy: When a Rat loses its muscle tone.

Pariti, the italian accent word for party in english.

Tulingal: someone who talks excessively!

cramiler: a person who squishes lots of things into her closet and also runs a mile every day

Inessess - Max speak for business as in "It is also none of your inessess."

Copap--when you and a girl friend have your GYN appointments together!



Now it's your turn, play as often as you wish!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Quick Quotes.

Today Brielle was quite distressed because she witnessed two 9th graders "making out" in the hall at school.
Upon further investigation, she told me that they were just hugging.




Yesterday, upon seeing the snow on the ground, Aaron said "Well, at least now the radio station can play the Christmas music legally."





Tonight Max told me that I was "the most good person ever."

I think he wants something.






And that concludes my post for today, thus fulfilling my obligation to post every day for NaBloPoMo.
Tune in for tomorrow's post, I promise it will be better, I'm bringing back everyone's favorite* blog game "Word verification Wednesday!"



*OK, so maybe it's not everyone's favorite game, but there are two or three people that seem to enjoy it.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Random stuff.....

I remember reading the drivers education manual when I got my drivers license. I don't seem to remember the section that says that when you see someone in the next lane signaling to get into your lane, that you should speed up as fast as you can because apparently, it's against the law in this state to let someone get in front of you.

Did I miss this in the manual, or did they change it?


****************************************


I'm getting sick. I mentioned this to Max this morning, and then later when I asked him for a hug, he wouldn't come near me because "I CAN'T HUG YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE GERMS!!"

This afternoon I had to lie to my little guy and tell him I felt better, just so I could get a hug.

I will say that after getting a big Max hug, I did feel a bit better.


******************************************


I picked up the kids from school today because the weather was rainy and cold. I had a few errands to run, and I made them come with me.

After a trip to the bank and to the library (to return an overdue DVD so we don't have to fund an entire new wing of the library with our overdue fees) we were headed home when Brielle mentioned that a hot apple pie from McDonald's would sure be nice right about then.

It sounded like a pretty good idea to me too, but knowing that Max doesn't like the hot apple pies, I wasn't sure how he would react to us getting a treat and not getting one for him, so I asked "Max, do you want an apple pie from McDonald's?" you know, just in case he changed his mind about liking them.

He said no.

"Would you be sad if we all got hot apple pies?"

Much to my surprise, he said yes.

Then Aaron (sensing that there was danger of him not getting a hot apple pie) asked Max "Would you be sad if we all got hot apple pies and you didn't have to eat one?" and Max replied "No, I would be very happy if you all had them!"

Seriously, how cute is that?

I pulled into the McDonald's that was just up the street, bought 4 hot apple pies for me and the three older kids, and chocolate chip cookies for Max.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Faux facial hair

This afternoon Brielle came into the room and was sporting a lovely new villain type mustache, obviously drawn on with a magic marker.
I laughed, because this was funny, then asked her if she was sure that she had used a washable marker.
"Yes, it's washable, I mean, at least I think it's washable, I hope I didn't accidentally use the sharpie."
I asked, "So how would you feel if it turns out to be permanent, and you have to go to school looking like that?"
She laughed and said she wouldn't care.
A few minutes later, Max showed up wearing the exact same mustache.
"Max, why did you let your sister draw on your face?"
Max giggled.
"What if it's permanent? You could look like that forever."
He thought for a moment, then looked at himself in the mirror. He must have liked what he saw, because he left it there.
About an hour later, he came and told me that he was tired of the mustache and wanted it off.
I told him to get a washcloth, get it wet and use some soap to get it off.
He came back in the room a few minutes later with a marker streaked washcloth, and the mustache smeared onto his cheeks.
"Did you use any soap?" I asked.
"NO!, I couldn't find it! There isn't any!"
I tried to get it wiped off as good as I could with the non soapy wet washcloth, but then the doorbell rang, it was my mom who was coming over to have dinner with us.

After we were finished eating, we sat around the table and talked. Brielle was being her normal talkative self, and was discussing some very important pre teenage subject, when I finally said to her "You know, I'm having a very hard time taking you seriously right now."
She looked surprised and asked why?
"Mostly because of that silly mustache you still have on."

She laughed "Oh, I forgot about that!" Then continued on with her conversation.

Several times through the evening, I reminded her about the mustache. Apparently she kept forgetting about it, and it just didn't seem to bother her.

Later tonight, she tried unsuccessfully to remove the marker with the wet washcloth. She was getting quite frustrated, because it just wasn't coming off.

I finally stepped in and used some soap on the washcloth, and amazingly enough, the marker came right off.

Imagine that. Soap.

I used it on Max's face too. Max is now mustache free.





p.s. Remember to vote for Crash :0)

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Look out! We're going to CRASH!

My Friend Crash is in the running to get this sweet new job, only she needs our votes to get into the final round.

She's a fabulous writer, cute as a button, and it would be really cool if she won!
Why should you vote for her, you ask?
Well, I'll tell you why!

Top Ten reasons why you should vote for Crash





#9 When she wins, she will buy everyone a pony.*


#8 Even though she believes in unicorns and glitter, she isn't annoying like Flo from the Progressive commercials.


#7 She cares about our fiber.


#6 When she wins, there's a pretty good chance that she won't increase the national debt.

#5 She is a better dancer than Bristol Palin.


#4. If you don't vote for her, Max will send Naughty bird, Naughty frog, Naughty Rabbit AND Naughty Reindeer to live at your house.


#3. When she wins, we can all say that we knew her back before she was all famous.


#2 She has AWESOME footwear.




#1. Vote for Crash, and your wildest dreams will come true!




Please click on the button above and vote for her! It's super easy! Only two clicks, then come back and tell me that you voted, so I don't have to send all of the naughty animals to your house.




You can vote once a day, every day for the next 5 days. If she is in the top 20, then she will make it to the final round, and that would be so awesome!


Some have said that you can vote once a day from every computer, or phone, or iPod or whatever, but it might be one vote per IP address, in which case, I will be driving around town, using the free Wi Fi from every public library, Starbucks and Burger King I can find.
Remember, vote early, vote often, tell your friends to vote too.


Thanks a bunch!!!!




*I didn't actually check with her on this one, however, I'm sure that she'll follow through.........OK, maybe not really sure, but I think that she would really like to buy everyone a pony, but then again, maybe not, perhaps she doesn't like ponies, but you'll have to ask her, because she's the one that would be buying the ponies (or not) and I really don't have any clue where she would buy that many ponies in the first place, and can you just imagine what a mess they would make in her back yard while they wait for you to come and pick them up? Yes, you would have to pick up your own pony yourself. WHAT? you don't think you should have to pick up the pony yourself? HEY, the pony is free (or at least relatively so, considering that you will need to vote for her every day for the next five days, but really, how hard is it to click on a link and then click one more time to vote for her) the least you could do is pick up your free pony yourself!
I mean if she actually does buy the ponies, and like I said, I didn't actually ask her if she would be doing this.

Maybe she will just bake you a cake, she does deliver cakes.

Friday, November 5, 2010

What's the problem?

For the last few days, Aaron has spent his time tormenting Max.



Day 1


Max came up to me sobbing.
Me: "What's wrong?"
Max: (between sobs)"Aaron said that I'm in his tummy!"
Me: "Well, are you?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Then what's the problem?"


Max calms down and walks away.



Day 2


Max comes up to me sobbing.

Me: "What's wrong?"
Max: (between sobs) Aaron took my nose!"
Me: "Feel your face, is your nose there?"
Max: (feels his face) my nose is here"
Me: "Then what's the problem?"

Max calms down and walks away



Day 3


Max comes up to me sobbing.
Max: "Aaron says he's going to take my eyeballs!"
Me: "Do you really think he can do that?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Then what's the problem?"
Max calms down and walks away.



Day 4

Max comes up to me sobbing
Max: "Mom! Aaron said I set off the alarm and the police are here to get me!"
Me: "Did you hear the alarm?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Are the police here?"
Max: "No."
Me: "Then what's the problem?"


Max calms down and walks away.





I'm beginning to think that Aaron's sense of humor combined with Max's imagination and gullibility are the problem.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Maybe you should re-check the math on that

This is a post I just found in my drafts folder. When I wrote it, Aaron refused to let me publish it, however, today he said it would be OK.
All he asked was that I make sure that everyone knows that this happened last year.



I love the fact that my kid's teachers require them to read a certain amount of time each day.
(I don't ever remember this being a requirement when I was their age, not that it would have been a problem, because I usually spent a great deal of time with my nose in a book.)

Our kids do read the amount of time that they are supposed to, and sometimes more. The problem that I have is having to record the amount of time they spend reading.
For some reason, this simple act of writing down the amount of minutes read each day is something that nobody in our house is able to accomplish. (myself included)

We have tried everything, charts, timers, and even just writing the numbers down on the big dry erase board in the kitchen.

It appears that we are "reading minute recording impaired." (RMRI)

Last week Aaron came to me and said that he needed to turn in a reading log for the last several weeks. He wondered how much I thought he had read during that time, as if I would remember that sort of information.
I came up with a great idea. I asked him to bring me the books that he has read in the last two weeks.
Next I timed how long it took him to read one page, and told him to times that number by the number of pages he read, and that would tell us how many minutes he had read.

He thought this was a great idea, and he went in the other room with the books and the timer.
A while later, he came and asked me to sign a slip of paper. On the paper was written;

Aaron's reading minutes
112,037

"Here mom" he said "I figured out how many minutes I read, and I need you to sign the note so I can hand it in to my teacher."

I looked at the number he had written. It looked a little high. He HAD recently been reading much more than he had previously, however, I knew there was no way that in the last 2-3 weeks, he had read for well over 100 thousand minutes.

I told him to go and divide that number by 60 to see how many actual hours that added up to.

1,867 hours

Then I told him to divide that number by 24 to see how many days that would take.

77

Which would mean that he would of had to be reading for the last 11 weeks non stop to read that many minutes.

I am very sure that he didn't read for 77 days straight, in the last two weeks.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Some things are just more difficult for some people


Due to the lack of content in my brain combined with the late hour, and the need for me to post something before the clock strikes midnight and my computer turns back into a pumpkin, I will post for you, a picture.








Leave me your favorite blonde joke in the comments.

Or any joke.

Unless you don't want to, then fine! Don't.

If you prefer, you may mock your least favorite celebrity.







This totally counts as a post, doesn't it?


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Things I don't get

Justin Beiber's hair

Boots worn with shorts

Caffeine free Diet Coke (What's the point?)

Chocolate covered raisins (seriously, WHY do people do this to perfectly good chocolate)

Farmville

Celebrities that believe that their popularity makes them above the law.


Kathie Lee Gifford


Really BIG tires on tiny little trucks



Vannah White

Monday, November 1, 2010

Proving to myself and everyone else just how insane I really am

Alternate post titles..........

"Because apparently, I don't have enough to do"

"Thirty days of drivel"

"nablopowhatintheheckwasIthinkingmo"



Yes, for the third year in a row, I have signed up for Na Blo Po Mo.

I have recently started on a work project that is the largest that I have ever done. The due date to have everything finished is the end of November, so I decided that I needed to write every day to have a little balance in my life.
I suppose I could have just washed the dishes instead, but after much careful thought* I decided that writing a post every day for a month would be better for my mental state.

*Ok, and by "careful thought" I mean I looked at the sink full of dishes, then turned the laptop the other direction so I couldn't see the dishes anymore.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?


So now my biggest problem is coming up with stuff to write about for 30 days. I have quite a few posts in my drafts folder, but for some reason, I just can't seem to finish them. I'm sure that Facebook has had nothing to do with this.

Side note: I tried to log on to Blogger three times before I realized that I was using my Facebook password instead of my Blogger password.

Another side note: If you are writing something on Facebook that you don't want someone to read (who just happens to be one of your FB friends) DO NOT WRITE IT ON FACEBOOK!
I recently read a conversation between two of my "Facebook friends" that I'm pretty sure they didn't intend for me to see. Nothing bad, just some information that they omitted in previous face to face in real life conversations.
Seriously people, WE CAN READ EVERYTHING THAT YOU POST ON YOUR WALL!

Rant over.

Halloween was fun. Brielle dressed as a cute witch, Max was the cutest Oompa Loompa that you've ever seen, Aaron was dressed as a food fight, and I wore the same costume that I do every year and dressed as a sleep deprived mom who stayed up all night finishing her kids costumes so they could wear them in the school costume parade.
(I actually did wear a costume when we went to the neighborhood pre trick or treating dinner. I went dressed as the underside of a restaurant table) (I wadded up pieces of pink felt and attached them to the front of my sweatshirt) (gum)

I will post pictures of the costumes as soon as we figure out how to get the pictures into the computer. Apparently, my camera and my computer are no longer on speaking terms, and the teenager is at this very minute going to great lengths and spending large amounts of time working on it to get the pictures transferred.

Either that or he's taking a nap.


Hey, I just had an idea!

I can have you vote on what you would like me to write about!

1. The new adventures of Naughty Bird (Yes, the stupid bird is back)
2. Halloween - The Oompa Loompa with an attitude
3. Max and the imaginary races


Leave your vote in the comments.

Leave your vote in the comment section

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Would you like some fries with your Snickers bar?

Here's a question.
What is the age at which your kids stop trick or treating?

CJ's last year was two years ago when he was in 7th grade. He hadn't really planned on trick or treating that year until he found out on Halloween night that some of his friends were going and he decided to go with them.
Since he hadn't planned on going, he didn't have a costume ready, so while the rest of us were at the neighborhood "pre-trick or treating pot luck dinner" he was home, improvising a costume for himself.
He took the huge alien head from one of his old costumes, and tied it to the iPod costume that he had worn the year before.
He went as an "iAlien"

This year will be Brielle's last year. In our neighborhood, 13 seems to be the age where the kids stop going out to collect candy on Halloween.

Does it bother you when older kids come to your door? Teenagers? Adults?

I remember quite a few years ago when a couple showed up at our door with their 2 month old baby dressed as a cat. The parents each had a trick or treat bag.

What kind of candy do you hand out?

Some of our neighbors really go all out for the trick or treaters. One older couple down the street from us has their house fully decorated for Halloween. She dresses as a witch and he dresses as a vampire, and not only do they hand out candy, but they have hot cider and donuts available for everyone.
Another one of our other neighbors always hands out full sized candy bars, and some give out juice boxes.
I think my favorite was the time the dental hygienist down the street handed out toothbrushes.

A friend of mine really doesn't like it when teenagers come to their door on Halloween, and she has come up with a great solution.
All year long, her family saves up all of the ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, Arby's and Horsey sauce packets that they get at any fast food restaurants that they go to, then on Halloween night, when an older teenager comes trick or treating to their door, they very stealthly give them a ketchup packet instead of candy.
She told me how one year, the Sunday after Halloween she was walking in the hallway at church and overheard a conversation between some teenagers. One of them said "I couldn't believe it, somebody gave me ketchup in my candy bag!"

What are your plans for Halloween?

What are your kids dressing up as?

Max wants to be and Oompa Loompa, but I can't find a green wig. We do, however, have an Elvis wig, so I'm trying to talk him into being "Elvis-loompa"

He's not buying it.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Cold showers, experimental fudge, illegal drugs, the evils of texting, and other random stuff.......

Apparently, my theory is true about our appliances signing a suicide pact earlier this year.

Today we came home from church to find that our water heater was leaking and had caused a small flood in the basement. (Fortunately, we caught it before the water got too far.......)

Here's the dead appliance list for this year.
Oven/stove
Dishwasher
Disposal
Refrigerator*
Water heater

*I don't think I blogged about the refrigerator. It stopped working a few months ago, but it wasn't very eventful because it didn't cause a flood, just slushy popcicles.

When we first discovered the water leaking, we turned off the main water valve, and told the kids not to use any water until we turned off the water to the water heater then turned the main water back on.
Max has been freaking out all evening because he isn't sure whether or not he should flush.

Super.

We finally get him to actually start flushing the toilets, and now after not being able to flush for an hour, he's back to not flushing again.
No matter how many times we tell him it's OK to flush, he still won't and also when he turned on the bathroom faucet, it made a spitting sound, so..............

"AND NOW I CAN'T WASH MY HANDS BECAUSE THE WATER IS MAKING A FUNNY NOISE!!!!"

So now, we won't have hot water until we get the darn water heater replaced.

And the noisy fans are back.


**********************************

I just made fudge, except instead of putting chocolate in it, I used vanilla and root beer extract. It was quite good! (and I say "was" because the teenager ate all of it)

**********************************

Tonight I explained to my pre teen daughter that she is required to actually speak full words instead of text speak.
Yes, I will be insisting that she speak the words "I don't know" and "be right back" instead of IDK and BRB.

We thought that not having texting on our phones would avoid such nonsense, but alas, the teenagers are now so lazy that they can't speak full words, and must speak in texting shorthand.

LOL!

*********************************

This past week was red ribbon week at our elementary school. They had an assembly where they discussed the dangers of taking drugs.
All weekend, Max has been coming up to us at random times and saying "HEY! DON'T TAKE DRUGS!!"

*********************************

I just checked on the homework that Max is doing (What? Doesn't your kindergartener work on their homework Sunday night??) (shut up)

He was doing a worksheet where there are pictures, and he is supposed to say what the picture is, then write down the first letter of the word.
For some reason, he had written numbers under all of the pictures instead of letters.

I took the paper and studied it closer. Under the ant, Max wrote a 6, under the octopus he wrote 8, the goat, table, dinosaur, cat and elephant, he wrote 4s.......

He was writing the number of legs on the object in the picture instead of the first letter of the word.
There were other pictures too, the dress had a 2 under it (someone wearing a dress would have two legs?) the house had one, the fish had 3, the ladder had 8.
I counted the steps on the ladder, and sure enough, there were 8.

I showed Max that he was doing the paper wrong, and he laughed and said "I guess my teacher probably won't like it like this!"

Then he flipped his pencil around and started erasing..........

Monday, October 11, 2010

The day the music died

Last week we were cleaning out the toybox and found an old friend.

It was a musical stuffed animal that my mom bought for CJ when he was a baby. He was the first grandchild, so all he had to do was look in the direction of the stuffed animal on the shelf at the store, and grandma had to buy it for him.


Max hadn't seen this toy for a long time and really enjoyed pressing on it's paw so that its cheeks would light up in time with the electronic chirps, clicks and beeps playing two different Easter songs.

He played with this toy for hours.


At one point, the music became slow and distorted. We were delighted with the thought that the batteries might be running out, but alas, the stupid toy came back to life.

Max named his new friend "Music Bear"




Yes, I am perfectly aware that this stuffed animal is not a bear, but is indeed a rabbit. We pointed this out to Max, to whom it hadn't even considered the possibility that "Music bear" was not a bear.

He was actually quite offended when we revealed this bit of information to him.


Max continued to refer to the rabbit as "Music Bear" but then finally saw the light, and changed his name to "Music Bunny Bear"

(we may or may not have teased him A BIT about calling the rabbit a bear)



Then a few days ago, (after a strangely quiet afternoon) I saw Max's Elmo blanket laying in the middle of the floor with a lump under it. I asked Max to please put his blanket away before someone tripped on it.



He said "I can't, Music Bunny Bear is under the blanket. He died and I had to bury him"


So now we seem to be stuck with a dead musical stuffed animal "buried" in our family room. The biggest problem is that it's right in front of the TV where everyone walks. In fact, if you accidentally step on the lump, Music Bunny Bear seems to come back to life and you can see the faint glow of the red lights inside of his cheeks light up to the muffled sound of his music.



Then we get to deal with Max the Mortician yelling at us to stay off of Music Bunny Bear.





I do find it quite amusing that he buried the bunny under the blanket where Elmo is laughing. Do you think his choice has anything to do with the time I did this?

Friday, October 1, 2010

I think somebody wants a really good Christmas present

Max: "Mom, how much do you love me?"

Me: "I love you more than anything!"

Max: "No, what number do you love me?"

Me: "I love you one million, billion, trillion, gazillion.......... times infinity!"

Max: "Well, I love YOU one more than that!"

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Letters to the universe

Dear Stupid cold,
I realize that no time is the perfect time for me to be sick, however, now is really not a good time for me.
Just wondering if we could reschedule this whole sore throat, runny nose, headache, coughing thing for another time.
Please let me know what time would work best for you so that I can arrange to be out of town and miss your visit completely.

Signed,
Seriously, I don't have time for this




Dear manufacturers of Mucinex,

First off, I would like to say how much I enjoy your product, it does what you say it will do, and to some extent, has offered me some relief from the symptoms of this stupid cold that I have not been enjoying for the last while.

Last week, I went to purchase a new package of Mucinex, when I discovered that not only do you have a regular strength, but now an extra strength!

I almost bought the extra strength because anything extra strength has got to be better than regular, right?

Upon further reading of the label, I discovered that your "extra strength" actually had twice the amount of active ingredients in each capsule, but you could only take 2 doses a day, whereas the regular strength has half the ingredients but you can take 4 doses a day.


Extra strength = 1200 mg per capsule x 2 doses per day.............total 2400 mg.


Regular strength= 600 mg per capsule x 4 doses per day..........total 2400 mg.





?????





Seriously? Who do you think you're fooling?

Signed,

The consumer who will continue to buy the less expensive regular strength.






Dear Lady sitting across from us at the restaurant,

Even though your bra straps are beige, we can still see them because you are wearing a halter top.

Seriously, you are not fooling anyone.

Signed,

The Fashion Police.





Dear Department of Transportation,

Why are you digging up all of the roads that I drive on?

Signed,

Late for everything due to the amount of road construction everywhere I go.






Dear middle aged man who just cut me off on the freeway,

Are you aware that the cute little red convertible that you are driving doesn't hide the fact that you are bald?

And fat.

Signed,
Not impressed




Dear Justin Bieber's hairstylist,

Stop that! Please!

Perhaps your talents would be better used on old fat men trying to hide their bald spots, in fact, the other day I was nearly hit on the road by a guy that could have used your services.

Signed,
Step away from the hair dryer!


Dear Diet Dr. Pepper,

You are awesome!

Signed,

Your jittery friend.

Monday, September 20, 2010

You can't carve zucchini into Jack-O-lanterns

Remember earlier this summer when we planted our garden?

We weeded, we tilled the ground, we planted various kinds of seeds.........

One of my kids planted an entire row of zucchini?

I mocked said child, and teased them mercilessly about the number of zucchini that we would be blessed with, and the number of creative ways that I would be cooking said zucchini, and how sick we would be of eating zucchini and that we would probably be finding a myriad of other non food uses for all of that zucchini that would be overtaking not only the garden area but our entire back yard.........


Well guess what?


None of the zucchini plants grew.



Zero.





Zip.





Nada.



Before you start thinking that maybe one or more of the children had something to do with this, I will add that none of the seeds that we planted in this area of the garden actually grew.

The entire middle section of the garden was completely bare.

I thought that maybe there had been something wrong with the seeds, so I went out and bought some healthy pepper plants and planted them in that area, however, within a day or two, they were completely dead.

The weeds, however, seem to be thriving.

I felt really bad about this, we planted a gazillion seeds in hopes that we might get a few plants. In that plot, we planted zucchini, yellow squash, cucumbers, bell peppers, and jalapeno peppers, and none of them grew. I was beginning to feel like a gardening failure.

Fortunately, on either side of this barren patch of land (barren except for the stupid weeds which seem to be growing quite well, thank you) we did have some gardening success.

The cute little pea plants were growing!


Or at least they were until I sent one of the offspring out to weed the garden, then the pea plants just disappeared.

This kid felt really bad when they realized what they had done.



Wait, come to think of it, this particular child has never liked peas.



?????


There were also two cute little lettuce plants that sprouted up, or at least we thought that they were lettuce until they started getting really tall and began to resemble weeds.

On the other side of the garden, the pumpkin plants were beginning to grow. 5 cute little pumpkin plants had sprouted and seemed to be doing OK.

Fast forward to today, we now have 5 very large pumpkin plants, (one vine is over 15 feet long!) and so far it looks like we'll have a several pumpkins!

We were hoping to grow enough so that the kids could each carve one for Halloween, and so far it looks like they'll each get at least one.

I'm hoping that next year we might be able to grow something that we can actually eat.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Max the future architect?

Max is an interesting kid. (probably an understatement)

Wherever we go, he observes everything closely, and then when he gets home, he builds whatever he saw with his Duplo blocks.

You wouldn't think that Duplo blocks would be that versatile, but I have to tell you, it's amazing what that kid can build with those brightly colored, chunky blocks.

Take last week for example, in the last 7 days, he has built the following.

1. A very accurate model of his school, he even included the playground. (He built this so his pet imaginary birds would have a place to go to school, unfortunately, naughty bird wasn't in the mood for school, and knocked it over)

2. A model of the ice skating rink, complete with bleachers and a garage for the zamboni. He built this in the very center of his room and instructed us not to step in the middle because the ice was very slippery and we might fall.

3. The high school football field, including both the bleachers where we sat at the first of the game,* and the ones we moved to after we decided that we didn't like sitting in the visiting team's section due to the fact that we were the only ones cheering when our team made a touchdown. (one of MANY touchdowns I might add)
He did not, however, build any cheerleaders, which surprised me slightly, because they were jumping around right in front of us the whole first half. This however is the subject of a post that I was going to write, but have decided against, due to the fact that I might offend someone who knows the exceedingly cheerful cheerleader (from the visiting team) that I was itching to mock.

4. The big inflatable slides from the company picnic.
He built a remarkable likeness of these slides. When he went to bed that night, I noticed that he had knocked them down. A while after he got up the next morning, he had me come into his room to see the slides. Apparently, he had taken the air out of them before he went to bed because it was night and nobody would be using them, but now that it was day, he had put the air back in them. Sure enough, he had rebuilt (reinflated) the slides.

5. The Bingham Copper mine.
We took a family field trip to see the mine. It's the largest open pit mine in the world, and can be seen from space.
When Brielle heard that we were going to the mine, her first comment was "I don't think that Max has enough blocks for that one."
Sure enough, when we got home, Max headed straight to his room and built his rendition of the mine.

6. The new SUPER car wash we took the car through to after visiting the mine.
There are few things in life that Max enjoys more than going through a car wash, and this one didn't disappoint. It's the kind that has multiple brushes and waxes and foam, and then to top it off, UNLIMITED time for the vacuum.
He built a copy of the car wash, and cleaned many of his toy cars.

7. On labor day, we took the kids to a local burger joint downtown, then made a trip to the cemetery to visit some family grave sites.
Today I could hear Max building something with his blocks so I went in to see what he was doing. He had made neat little rows of blocks, some in small towers, and some taller towers.

"Look Mom" he said "I made a garden of for dead people!"




* I don't really like football, we actually went to see the marching band at halftime, because CJ is in the band, and because they are awesome.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Stupid virus!

All summer long, everyone in our house was healthy.

Extremely healthy!

School started a few weeks ago, and now we're all coughing, and sniffing and sneezing.

Coincidence?



:0(

Saturday, September 4, 2010

First day of Kindergarten (and other random stuff)

Last week was Max's first day of Kindergarten. 15 minutes before my alarm went off I woke up to Max's face, just inches from mine.........

"Hey mom! I'm awake now and I'm going to get dressed really fast so I can be ready for school!"

3.2 seconds later, he was back, completely dressed in his new school clothes.

"I'm ready to go now! Come on mom! Let's go! It's time for school!"

I talked him into waking up his siblings, who unfortunately, did not share his enthusiasm.

An hour later, I dropped the kids off at school. Max was so excited, he didn't even look back to wave at me.

3 hours later, I picked him up. As soon as he got in the car he said "Mom, I DIDN'T miss you, and I don't think you missed me either."

He was wrong. (I'm pretty sure he missed me)


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Yesterday I got an email from Twitter telling me that I had 5 new direct messages. It had a convenient link for me to click on so that I could sign in.

The funny thing is that I don't have a Twitter account.

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Yesterday a song came the radio and my kids freaked out "NO! NO! Turn it off, I can't stand this song!"

"Why?" I asked, don't you like the girl singing it?"

"It's not a girl!" they yelled, "It's Justin Beiber!"


Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The perfect storm.....

"Sure, I can have that project finished for you. I'll have it ready for you to pick up at 3:30."



"You'll be able to deliver the new refrigerator today? GREAT! Yes, 3:30 will be fine."



"You don't have anyone to tend the girls for an hour this afternoon? Sure, I would love to watch them! I'll see you at 3:30."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Max, the king of Kindergarten

Max just went to bed. (by 9:30! High fives everybody!) He is SO excited to start school tomorrow that he got ready for bed the first time I asked him.

He even took a bath!
Woo Hoo!!!

However, he is really worried about something.

Yesterday I asked him if he was excited for school to start, and he showed me how excited he was by smiling as big as his face would let him.

Then I gave him the news that caused him to worry.

"Max, I think you're going to miss me while you're at school."

He rolled his eyes.

"In fact, I think you're going to miss me so much that I should probably just come with you."

He shook his head "No Mom, the only grown ups there will be the teachers."

"Oh, I'm sure they won't mind, I'll be very quiet."

"No Mom, there won't be enough chairs there. You won't have a place to sit."

I thought for a moment then said "I know! I can sit on your chair, and you can sit on my lap!"

"No Mom, the chairs are too little!"

"OK, then maybe I can bring one of our folding chairs and just sit next to you."

"NO MOM! You can't come to school with me!"

"Max, I really think that you're going to miss me too much. I need to come with you."

Then he says "You should just drive me to school and drop me off at the front doors with the kids and I will walk in by myself!"

"I don't know," I said "What if I drive you to school, drop you off at the front doors, then park in the parking lot and walk in the school?"

Then he got a little testy.

"Look mom, HERE'S THE DEAL! You will drive me to the school and DROP ME OFF at the front doors, then you will GO HOME!!"

While he was saying this, he waved his arms around kind of like one of those guys who directs the airplanes to the gates. All he needed was the big flashlights. I might have snickered a bit, because really, it was funny.

Then he says "Look, I'm SERIOUS, see, I'm wearing my SERIOUS FACE!"

And he was indeed wearing his serious face, although in my opinion, it looked a little bit more like his "I just smelled something bad face"

"Hmmm" I said "So exactly what do you think I should do when I get home? I'll be there all by myself."
Max told me that I should get some work done.

"No, I think I should probably take a nap."

"Mom!" he said with a big sigh, obviously trying to hide his exasperation "You can't go back to sleep after you drop us off, because then you will just dream about missing me."

So then I asked him if it would be OK if I just stood outside and watched him through the window of his classroom.

He shook his head and walked away.


That kid is seriously going to miss me.


Friday, August 20, 2010

I'm too tired to come up with a title for this very short post

Best kid question of the week (by Max)

"What would be more dangerouser, if all the houses fell apart, or if the earth broke?"


Best kid quote of the week (by Aaron)

"HEY MOM! COME AND WATCH ME CLEAN THE BASEBOARDS!"




And yes, the baseboards are shiny clean :0)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Hi, my name is Jill and I'm sleep deprived

I am not a morning person.

I have decided that the only sleep that really counts for me is what I get after 5:00 a.m.
My husband, on the other hand, is quite the morning person, he wakes up on his own around 5:00 a.m. and is actually awake!
This is a strange phenomenon to me, because my mom raised us to be night owls, she liked to stay up late, and let us stay up late too.
I remember one time in high school when on the first day of class one of the teachers had us fill out a "get to know you" questionnaire, then we went around the classroom, and everyone read their papers.
One of the questions was "What is your favorite TV show?"
Nearly everyone in the class said that M.A.S.H. was their favorite show (one of the local TV stations was airing it about 4 times a day at that time) but I answered "Late night with David Letterman"
The teacher looked at me in shock and said "YOU'RE UP THAT LATE???"

Honestly, it didn't seem that strange to me, at that time, Dave came on at midnight, and watching his show was what kept me awake long enough to do my homework.

Anyway.......

School started this week for Brielle and Aaron, (who I have decided are not morning people either) (pretty sure it's genetic) (from my side of the family, obviously)
The problem is that my alarm goes off at 7:00 a.m. (and again at 7:10. 7:20, 7:30..........) and I wake them up again, and again and again.

It would probably be easier to wake them up if they weren't awake so late at night, however, my husband doesn't get home until nearly 7:00 p.m. and after we eat dinner, watch the current reality show on TV, make the kids do the homework that they didn't seem to remember they had several hours earlier, make lunches for the next day and wrestle Max into his pajamas, it's usually after 11.

Max will be starting kindergarten next week, and get this......................





I SIGNED HIM UP FOR MORNING KINDERGARTEN!!!!!




WHAT WAS I THINKING?????



I had very logical reasons for doing this (I won't go into detail, just be assured that I did) the problem is that he likes to sleep in until 10:00 or later.

School starts at 8:30.

I've had discussions with him about how he needs to go to bed earlier because it will be hard for him to wake up for school if he's up too late and he agrees with me until it's actually time to get the pajamas on.

He is the master of stalling.

So this week, we decided to have him go to bed a little bit earlier each night, to get him used to it before school starts. We had good intentions, but as it's turned out, he's actually ended up going to bed a little bit later each night.


This is going to be a long year.





p.s. I told Max that after taking them to school, I would come home and take a nap. He told me that I couldn't do that, because I would dream about missing him.