Friday, December 18, 2009

Things I've learned this week

1. One should never cut their own bangs while in a hurry and irritated.

2. Bangs are like children, no matter what you want them to do, they will do the opposite.

3. Using more hairspray on wayward bangs will only make them look worse.

4. Using hairspray on children will make them sticky.

5. If you are going to do an imitation of the director of your child's preschool, you should NOT do it in front of the child because he will spend the day imitating the preschool director. (I do have to say that he is dead on with his imitation)

6. No matter what kind of misfortune comes to my children, they can always find a way to blame me for it.

7. Our basement will never get clean.

8. Neither will our kitchen.

9. Even though ordering things online is convenient, it doesn't guarantee that.........
a) You actually get what you order
b) The item will arrive in time for Christmas

10. Buying more tape will only cause the 4 year old to find more useless uses for tape and I still won't have any tape when I need it.

11. The four year old has a sixth sense when it comes to finding rolls of tape that I have hidden. (It's like some sort of a gift that he has)

12. I need to keep more chocolate in the house.

19 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I always cut my own bangs. Maybe that's why people look at me funny.

Or because I'm always topless.

Karen said...

When I was a kid my mother would cut my bangs...and they'd be a little crooked...so she'd cut them again....and they'd still be crooked...well...you get the picture. I had bangs that were 1/8 of an inch long.

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

1-I tried the "More hairspray" thing onmy hair this morning, and you are right...did not work!

2-I got no tape. (I got no grammar)
I do have 6 tape absorbing kids.

3-I read this to dh and he said, "So true!"

The Boob Nazi said...

I also agree with the keep more chocolate in the house thing.

b. said...

You learned the hairspray/bangs stuff from me, didn't you?!

I warned you ahead of time...

Jen said...

All important lessons!

It is also bad if you are a compulsive phone answerer and it rings while you trim.

I accidentally ordered two veggie steamer inserts this year, if you need one of those and will be passing through let me know. ;)

Mum-me said...

I know what you mean about the 'sixth sense'. I have a child who can locate sticky tape, scissors and/or glue even if it's been hidden in a toolbox in the garage.

Then there's HB who can locate a packet of chips no matter where I've tried to hide them (I even put them in the washing machine once, and a few hours later I found him munching on them. It didn't occur to him that ther were 'hidden' for a reason, which was so the children would have chips for their birthday party the next day.)

utmomof 5 said...

AMEN

Maraiya said...

I have previously learned all the lessons regarding bangs. I am only comforted by the fact that bangs grow. Very quickly. And a week or two of public humiliation is really very little compared to what my children do to me.

#7 and 8 - Amen but I'd like to raise you the whole house.

#9 - I just got an email from my SIL. Being in Alaska, I just had the items shipped directly to her. Anyhoo, my gifts for my BIL and FIL, which the receipt SAYS are two pkgs of wild game sausage, are one pair of size 8 steel toed boots. Since neither of them wears a size 8, I'm thinking that they can each have one boot and turn it into a redneck planter.

#12 - I think this is wear the tradition of exchanging holiday baked goods began. Of course, I think anyone who gives cookies and candies not involving chocolate have truly failed to grasp the meaning of Christmas.

Chief said...

I so get the tape problem. I have to literally hide the stuff from the 8 year old. IT is all over the floor, walls...

Don't ever cut your own bangs

MaeRae said...

I cut my bangs once as an adult. I will never do it again. My best friend came into the house and the first thing out of his mouth was "WTF did you do to your hair?"

Youngblood4ever said...

I always need more chocolate in the house.

I'm just saying.

Lisa said...

I totally blame Dora the Explorer for the tape thing. Everytime my 3 year old sees tape she screams, "sticky tape!" and if I'm not around, she will use the entire roll!

JustRandi said...

If only that kid would use his powers for good....




lol. He's a cutie!

rychelle said...

my best friend has super curly hair and decided to cut her own bangs. when they were wet. and when they dried......oh, boy.

Jessica G. said...

Just don't hide the chocolate next to the tape!

rocslinger said...

Thank you for giving me a reason to feel good about going bald.

My one child is now 13 and she can spray her own hairspray but she still hasn't mastered mixing chocolate into her milk (is it possible that she is taking advantage of me).

Your four year old is amazing, next time I need tape, Thursday about seven pm, can I borrow him.

Alison Wonderland said...

My son has that tape thing only he has it for markers, usually sharpies. (I'm not trying to say my life is harder but, well, you can just pull the tape off things and throw it away...)

Damama T said...

And #6 only gets worse the older the kids get. Why else do you think there are so many rich therapists?? LOL!

WV: TRIUMM - Phrase used while trying to figure out how to explain what the H happened to your bangs: "Umm...Umm...Umm..."