Last week Aaron went on a backpacking trip with his scout troop. Each scout had to bring all of the food they would be eating for the few days they were camping. I bought him multiple things that didn't need to be refrigerated including a box of Pop Tarts, which is a treat that I don't usually buy.
A few days ago, Brielle was complaining that I had bought Pop Tarts for Aaron, but I wouldn't buy them for anyone else.
Brielle: "Why won't you buy Pop Tarts for the rest of us?"
Me: "Because they aren't good for you, they're mostly just sugar."
Brielle: "But you bought them for Aaron!"
Me "That was because it was one of the few things that didn't need to be refrigerated that he could take with on his camping trip. Besides, they were on sale."
Brielle: "Will you buy some for me?"
Me: "I already said NO!"
Brielle: "OK, let's say that you HAVE to buy Pop Tarts for one of us, which one would you choose, me or Aaron?'
Me: "Max. I would buy them for Max, he can stand to gain some weight."
Brielle: "But what if there was a situation where you were dying and you had to buy Pop Tarts for either me or Aaron to be able to live, which one of us would you buy the Pop Tarts for?"
Me: "Seriously? In what type of a situation would I need to buy Pop Tarts for you to save my own life?"
Brielle: "???????????"
Me: "I guess if I was in that situation I would buy them for myself, because if I'm dying anyway, it won't really matter if I'm eating something unhealthy, right?"
Showing posts with label really???. Show all posts
Showing posts with label really???. Show all posts
Monday, August 20, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Birthday Max, the zombie boy
Next week, Max is turning seven.
YES! I KNOW! MY BABY WILL BE SEVEN YEARS OLD!!
Yesterday we were discussing what he would like to do for his birthday party. I suggested a pirate themed party. Max was slightly interested at first, but then he got what he thought was a much better idea.........
Max wants to have a Zombie Apocalypse Birthday party!
He has a few great ideas for the party, starting with cupcakes frosted to look like brains.
I, however, have a few concerns, like how are the parents of his friends going to react when they get the invitation?
Will the seven year old children be frightened at the idea of a Zombie Birthday party?
Is there a way to portray the zombies as being "friendly" Zombies so the children won't be frightened?
Are there such things as friendly zombies?
Will all of that Zombie blood stain my carpets?
It would be so much easier if he would go with my idea of a Pirate birthday party. I can get a bunch of eye patches pretty cheap.
In other news, the pick up zone at the kids school is outrageously crowded, so much so, that many parents have been parking on the road near the school to pick up their children rather than waiting in line.
The problem with this is that the neighbors have been complaining. (rightfully so, some of these parents don't pick up their kids until 30-40 minutes after school lets out, allowing their little darlings plenty of unsupervised time to run freely through the yards, climbing trees and fences, throwing rocks, trampling flowers, having pine cone fights.....) (some of the parents even park in the neighbor's driveways to wait for their kids, needless to say, the neighbors have reason to be upset)
Last week I noticed that the lines on the road by the school had been repainted to be closer to the sidewalk, and no parking signs had been put up, making it quite clear that there should be no parking on that part of the street.
Imagine my surprise when I received an email from the school informing everyone that new stripping had been put put on the road, and the parents are no longer allowed to park there due to the new stripping, and the police department will be enforcing the rule of no parking in the area, and anyone parking in the area of the new stripping will receive a ticket.
My kids walk home, and being the rebel that I am, I have informed them that they are required to keep all of their clothes on while walking on that street.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Excuse me while I go purchase some additional home owner's insurance
Aaron's favorite television show is Mythbusters.
He loves to watch how they scientifically try to prove or confirm whether or not a myth is truth, however, I think his favorite part is watching how they blow up stuff if it doesn't blow up in the first place.
He once told me that this was a good show for him to watch because he can let someone else experiment, and he can still see whether or not something works (and he won't have to try to blow it up himself)
I do like how they begin every show saying "Don't try this at home" (However, Aaron has changed that phrase to "Don't try this at home, go to a friends house.")
It never really occurred to me to be worried about his fascination with this show until one day when he came up to me and said "Hey mom, can you get me some liquid nitrogen?"
Say what?
Liquid nitrogen?
My response, naturally was "NO!"
Then a few days later, he asked me if I could get him some lithium. And an incinerator.
(again NO!)
Last week we were trying to clean a spill off of the stove. I'm not sure what it was, but it was burnt on pretty good. Aaron said "Hey! I know what would clean that stuff off of the stove!"
"OK, what?' I asked.
"Sulfuric acid! Of course I would have to wear a bio hazard suit and there probably wouldn't be much of the stove left when I'm finished, but it would definitely get rid of that burnt stuff!"
No Aaron, I will not get you any sulfuric acid.
Then yesterday he came up to me really excited and asked if I knew of any way he could earn forty dollars.
"Forty dollars is a lot of money" I told him "Why do you need forty dollars?"
"Well, I found something really cool on Amazon and I want to buy it!"
He's really into electronics, and it's not unusual for him to find some sort of cable or memory stick or other computer accessory that he wants, so I just assumed that it would be something like that, so I was very surprised when he told me what he wants to buy on Amazon for forty dollars.
Are you ready for this?
Uranium ore.
That's right, believe it or not, you can purchase a chunk of uranium ore on Amazon for $40.00
Naturally, I told him "NO!" to which he replied..............
"But it's radioactive AND explosive!!"
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I want my two dollars!!!
Occasionally, the kids will find free games or Apps online, but will want to purchase the full version so I will go ahead and buy the game or app for them, then they will give me the cash.
Last night, Max mentioned that he didn't have any money left in his piggy bank.
"What about the two dollars that the tooth fairy brought you for your teeth? I asked.
"I gave those to Aaron."
I look at Aaron who is trying not to smile.
"Why did you give Aaron two dollars?"
"Well......" Max replied "I was playing this game called "Hit Aaron with a box" and Aaron said that if I decided to play the free version that I could only throw the box at him three times, but if I bought the full version I could throw the box at him more times and Aaron said that the full version costed two dollars, so I bought it!"
Aaron is now hiding under the kitchen table.
I tell Aaron to give Max his two dollars.
"But he bought the game! He gave me the money!"
"Give it back!"
"NO! He paid me for the game, hew WANTED to give me the money!
"Aaron, give him his two dollars!!"
Just then, Brielle jumped in and said "Hey Max, can I borrow your "Hit Aaron" game?"
Max said yes and so Brielle threw the box* at Aaron. Then she picked it up and threw it at him again. And again.
And again......
I think I'm going to create a game called "Stop people from throwing boxes at Aaron." The full version will be $3.00.
*It was a very small, empty box. It hardly left a mark.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Top ten things overheard from untalented people on America's Got talent (and any other reality talent contests on television)
10. My grandmother thinks I'm really talented.
9. I want this more than anyone else!
8. I've been working for this my whole life!
7. This means more to me than anything!
6. This is what I was born to do!
5. This is all I've ever wanted to do for my whole life!
4. This is my destiny! I've wanted this my whole life!
3. I've sacrificed so much, I've wanted this my whole life!
2. I've had this dream for as long as I can remember!
1. PLEASE!! JUST GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE! I'VE WANTED THIS MY WHOLE LIFE! I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING! PLEASE! LET ME TRY IT AGAIN! I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE!!!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Top ten things overheard when I was playing Mario Cart on the Wii with my kids
#10. "PUSH THE B BUTTON!!"
#9. "HEY! YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! WHY ARE YOU GOING THE WRONG WAY!!"
#8. "PUSH THE B BUTTON!!"
#7. "WHERE IN THE HECK IS THE B BUTTON? I CAN'T FIND THE B BUTTON!!!"
#6. "TURN AROUND MOM! YOU'RE STILL GOING THE WRONG WAY!!"
#5. "WHY DO YOU KEEP DRIVING ON THE GRASS?"
#4. "PUSH THE B BUTTON!! PUSH THE B BUTTON!! PUSH THE B BUTTON!! PUSH THE B BUTTON!! PUSH THE B BUTTON!! PUSH THE B BUTTON!! PUSH THE B BUTTON!!"
#3. "YOU FELL OFF THE TRACK AGAIN?? WHY DO YOU KEEP FALLING OFF THE TRACK???"
#2. "PUSH THE B BUTTON!!"
And the #1 thing overheard when I was playing Mario cart on the Wii with my kids...........
"This is what happens when you try to teach stuff to old people."
Friday, December 31, 2010
The mystery of the Christmas Eve ghost dog
Every year at Christmas, especially when we are up very late on Christmas Eve we hope that our children will let us sleep in a bit on Christmas morning.
This, however, has rarely been the case.
For example, the year when Brielle was 5. I woke up Christmas morning around 4:45 because the light from the living room was shining down the hall into our bedroom. Knowing that we had most definitely turned the light off, I got up to see Brielle dancing around the living room in her new pink bathrobe, with all of her other Christmas gifts scattered around the living room.....
She had obviously been awake for quite a while.
This year, however, was different. My husband woke me up at 7:00 to tell me that the kids were ready to see their Christmas gifts. Fortunately, he was awake when the kids came upstairs, and made them sit in the family room until I got up. I was very surprised that we needed to wake up Max also, because he had been so excited the night before, and had even gone to bed really early so that Santa could come to our house without fear of being caught by him.
As the kids were opening their gifts, I thanked them for letting us sleep past 5:00 and Brielle told me this story.
"Mom, I actually woke up really early this morning, around 4:00. I layed in bed, trying to go back to sleep until about 4:30, when I decided that I really needed to go to the bathroom, so I got up and opened my bedroom door, and I heard what sounded like a really big dog panting loudly in the hallway, so I hurried and slammed my door, jumped back in my bed, pulled the blankets over my head and stayed there until 7:00."
We don't nor have we ever had a dog, so I was trying to think of what could have been making this noise when CJ said "Really? I heard that same noise several years ago on Christmas morning when I was about to get up really early!"
So there you have it. It seems that we have some sort of ghost dog that shows up early Christmas morning, to scare our children back into their beds so that we can get a little sleep.
Now the question, why?
My older kids have a theory that the previous owners had a dog that died on Christmas, and he comes back every year at this time.
Max thinks that Santa was still in the house.
What do you think it could be?
This, however, has rarely been the case.
For example, the year when Brielle was 5. I woke up Christmas morning around 4:45 because the light from the living room was shining down the hall into our bedroom. Knowing that we had most definitely turned the light off, I got up to see Brielle dancing around the living room in her new pink bathrobe, with all of her other Christmas gifts scattered around the living room.....
She had obviously been awake for quite a while.
This year, however, was different. My husband woke me up at 7:00 to tell me that the kids were ready to see their Christmas gifts. Fortunately, he was awake when the kids came upstairs, and made them sit in the family room until I got up. I was very surprised that we needed to wake up Max also, because he had been so excited the night before, and had even gone to bed really early so that Santa could come to our house without fear of being caught by him.
As the kids were opening their gifts, I thanked them for letting us sleep past 5:00 and Brielle told me this story.
"Mom, I actually woke up really early this morning, around 4:00. I layed in bed, trying to go back to sleep until about 4:30, when I decided that I really needed to go to the bathroom, so I got up and opened my bedroom door, and I heard what sounded like a really big dog panting loudly in the hallway, so I hurried and slammed my door, jumped back in my bed, pulled the blankets over my head and stayed there until 7:00."
We don't nor have we ever had a dog, so I was trying to think of what could have been making this noise when CJ said "Really? I heard that same noise several years ago on Christmas morning when I was about to get up really early!"
So there you have it. It seems that we have some sort of ghost dog that shows up early Christmas morning, to scare our children back into their beds so that we can get a little sleep.
Now the question, why?
My older kids have a theory that the previous owners had a dog that died on Christmas, and he comes back every year at this time.
Max thinks that Santa was still in the house.
What do you think it could be?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The saga of the Naughty imaginary animals part 3: Naughty bird, now you see him, now you don't, now you do......
For part 1 go here.
For part 2 go here.
A few weeks ago, Max was sitting on the family room floor building something spectacular with his blocks when I asked him to go wash his hands for dinner.
He pretended to try to stand up, then fell back to the floor, sighed and said "I can't get up, Naughty Bird is holding me down and won't let me go wash my hands." Then he went back to playing with his blocks.
Daddy told Max that he really needed to go wash his hands and Max repeated "Naughty Bird won't let me!"
My husband walked over to Max, picked up Naughty Bird, opened the back door and threw him out.
Max stared for a moment then said "No Dad, Naughty Bird is still here. He died and now he is a ghost, so you can't pick him up because your hands will go right through him."
Then he went back to playing with the blocks.
I went over to Max and said "If Naughty Bird is a ghost, then he can't hold you down and make you do things, right?"
Max looked a little surprised, then got up of the floor and went to wash his hands for dinner.
Unfortunately a few days later, Max informed me that Naughty Bird had "Magically" come back to life and wasn't a ghost any more.
Awesome.
You'll never guess who showed up a few days ago.
"Naughty Turkey"
Fortunately, Aaron cleverly explained to Max that tomorrow we would be eating Naughty Turkey, so hopefully we won't be seeing much of that critter anymore.
For part 2 go here.
A few weeks ago, Max was sitting on the family room floor building something spectacular with his blocks when I asked him to go wash his hands for dinner.
He pretended to try to stand up, then fell back to the floor, sighed and said "I can't get up, Naughty Bird is holding me down and won't let me go wash my hands." Then he went back to playing with his blocks.
Daddy told Max that he really needed to go wash his hands and Max repeated "Naughty Bird won't let me!"
My husband walked over to Max, picked up Naughty Bird, opened the back door and threw him out.
Max stared for a moment then said "No Dad, Naughty Bird is still here. He died and now he is a ghost, so you can't pick him up because your hands will go right through him."
Then he went back to playing with the blocks.
I went over to Max and said "If Naughty Bird is a ghost, then he can't hold you down and make you do things, right?"
Max looked a little surprised, then got up of the floor and went to wash his hands for dinner.
Unfortunately a few days later, Max informed me that Naughty Bird had "Magically" come back to life and wasn't a ghost any more.
Awesome.
You'll never guess who showed up a few days ago.
"Naughty Turkey"
Fortunately, Aaron cleverly explained to Max that tomorrow we would be eating Naughty Turkey, so hopefully we won't be seeing much of that critter anymore.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Fashion Sheep
This is a post that I wrote when I guess posted on another blog several years ago. It has never been published on my blog, so it might be new to you.
I was watching a local daytime talk show a few months ago, and one of their guests for the day was a lady who they referred to as a "fashion expert." She was there to tell us all about the new fashion trends.
Just the day before, this fashion expert (we'll call her Laverne) had gone through the closet of one of the ladies hosting the show, (Let's call her Shirley) and removed a large stack of clothes, and brought them to the television studio, and picked through them on live television.
She told Shirley that her that her clothes were out of style, and she just couldn't wear them anymore.
Shirley was shocked "But I love those clothes!" she protested.
"No" Laverne told her, picking up a really cute skirt "Nobody wears skirts that length anymore."
Shirley: But that's my favorite skirt! It's so comfortable, and it looks so cute with that pink blouse that I you told me to buy."
Laverne: No, I'm sorry, it's got to go. You really shouldn't even have this in your closet, it's quite dated.
Shirley: But I just bought it last summer!
No, it's just not in style anymore. You can't be seen in it. Donate it to charity.
Laverne went on to pick apart this poor lady's wardrobe. There was something wrong with everything.
Laverne: You really need to get rid of this suit also. The color is all wrong. This year turquoise is the hot color. Everybody will be wearing turquoise.
Shirley: I thought that gray was the hot color this year. Just a few months ago, you told me to buy everything gray.
Laverne: No, not anymore. Turquoise is now the hot color. Nobody will be wearing gray this year, everybody will be wearing turquoise!
I really felt sorry for this television host, and if I was anywhere near the size she is, I would have gladly offered to take the clothes off her hands. They were darn cute.
My question, where does this "fashion expert" lady get all this information, and why does her opinion matter so much?
Who is it in the big scheme of things that decides what's "in" and what's "out" as far as fashion trends go? Who is it that decides what does and does not look good? Why do we all need to follow what they decide?
This past winter, we were just leaving a movie theater, and a group of teenage girls came running in the door. Outside it was snowing heavily, and quite cold. These teenagers were all wearing shorts, flip flops and hoodies. The girls were all huddled together shivering, goose bumps all over their bare legs, and complaining about how cold they were.
Hello! McFly! Put some clothes on!
I would really like to know which girl in the group decided that it would be cute to wear shorts and flip flops in sub freezing temperatures, and why the other girls in the group were compelled to follow her. I wonder what would have happened if one of the girls had rebelled and worn, oh I don't know, maybe A COAT! Would she have been shunned from the group and not allowed to participate in the group activity? Would the other girls have left her alone, and then made fun of her saying how stupid she looked in her warm clothes while they stand shivering in the snow?
Why are we all such a bunch of "fashion sheep?"
What do you think, are you more likely to buy something you like that is comfortable, or something that someone else has decided looks good?
(Of course, this post doesn't apply to shoes, because most fabulous shoes just can't be comfortable;0)
I was watching a local daytime talk show a few months ago, and one of their guests for the day was a lady who they referred to as a "fashion expert." She was there to tell us all about the new fashion trends.
Just the day before, this fashion expert (we'll call her Laverne) had gone through the closet of one of the ladies hosting the show, (Let's call her Shirley) and removed a large stack of clothes, and brought them to the television studio, and picked through them on live television.
She told Shirley that her that her clothes were out of style, and she just couldn't wear them anymore.
Shirley was shocked "But I love those clothes!" she protested.
"No" Laverne told her, picking up a really cute skirt "Nobody wears skirts that length anymore."
Shirley: But that's my favorite skirt! It's so comfortable, and it looks so cute with that pink blouse that I you told me to buy."
Laverne: No, I'm sorry, it's got to go. You really shouldn't even have this in your closet, it's quite dated.
Shirley: But I just bought it last summer!
No, it's just not in style anymore. You can't be seen in it. Donate it to charity.
Laverne went on to pick apart this poor lady's wardrobe. There was something wrong with everything.
Laverne: You really need to get rid of this suit also. The color is all wrong. This year turquoise is the hot color. Everybody will be wearing turquoise.
Shirley: I thought that gray was the hot color this year. Just a few months ago, you told me to buy everything gray.
Laverne: No, not anymore. Turquoise is now the hot color. Nobody will be wearing gray this year, everybody will be wearing turquoise!
I really felt sorry for this television host, and if I was anywhere near the size she is, I would have gladly offered to take the clothes off her hands. They were darn cute.
My question, where does this "fashion expert" lady get all this information, and why does her opinion matter so much?
Who is it in the big scheme of things that decides what's "in" and what's "out" as far as fashion trends go? Who is it that decides what does and does not look good? Why do we all need to follow what they decide?
This past winter, we were just leaving a movie theater, and a group of teenage girls came running in the door. Outside it was snowing heavily, and quite cold. These teenagers were all wearing shorts, flip flops and hoodies. The girls were all huddled together shivering, goose bumps all over their bare legs, and complaining about how cold they were.
Hello! McFly! Put some clothes on!
I would really like to know which girl in the group decided that it would be cute to wear shorts and flip flops in sub freezing temperatures, and why the other girls in the group were compelled to follow her. I wonder what would have happened if one of the girls had rebelled and worn, oh I don't know, maybe A COAT! Would she have been shunned from the group and not allowed to participate in the group activity? Would the other girls have left her alone, and then made fun of her saying how stupid she looked in her warm clothes while they stand shivering in the snow?
Why are we all such a bunch of "fashion sheep?"
What do you think, are you more likely to buy something you like that is comfortable, or something that someone else has decided looks good?
(Of course, this post doesn't apply to shoes, because most fabulous shoes just can't be comfortable;0)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Because it's "cool" to have frostbite (pun intended)
Why do teenagers think that they don't need to wear coats in the winter?
Please discuss.
Please discuss.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The most interesting (and useless) thing I have learned this week
Were you aware that ear wax glows under an ultraviolet light?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Letters to the universe
Dear Stupid cold,
I realize that no time is the perfect time for me to be sick, however, now is really not a good time for me.
Just wondering if we could reschedule this whole sore throat, runny nose, headache, coughing thing for another time.
Please let me know what time would work best for you so that I can arrange to be out of town and miss your visit completely.
Signed,
Seriously, I don't have time for this
Dear manufacturers of Mucinex,
First off, I would like to say how much I enjoy your product, it does what you say it will do, and to some extent, has offered me some relief from the symptoms of this stupid cold that I have not been enjoying for the last while.
Last week, I went to purchase a new package of Mucinex, when I discovered that not only do you have a regular strength, but now an extra strength!
I almost bought the extra strength because anything extra strength has got to be better than regular, right?
Upon further reading of the label, I discovered that your "extra strength" actually had twice the amount of active ingredients in each capsule, but you could only take 2 doses a day, whereas the regular strength has half the ingredients but you can take 4 doses a day.
Extra strength = 1200 mg per capsule x 2 doses per day.............total 2400 mg.
Regular strength= 600 mg per capsule x 4 doses per day..........total 2400 mg.
?????
Seriously? Who do you think you're fooling?
Signed,
The consumer who will continue to buy the less expensive regular strength.
Dear Lady sitting across from us at the restaurant,
Even though your bra straps are beige, we can still see them because you are wearing a halter top.
Seriously, you are not fooling anyone.
Signed,
The Fashion Police.
Dear Department of Transportation,
Why are you digging up all of the roads that I drive on?
Signed,
Late for everything due to the amount of road construction everywhere I go.
Dear middle aged man who just cut me off on the freeway,
Are you aware that the cute little red convertible that you are driving doesn't hide the fact that you are bald?
And fat.
Signed,
Not impressed
Dear Justin Bieber's hairstylist,
Stop that! Please!
Perhaps your talents would be better used on old fat men trying to hide their bald spots, in fact, the other day I was nearly hit on the road by a guy that could have used your services.
Signed,
Step away from the hair dryer!
Dear Diet Dr. Pepper,
I realize that no time is the perfect time for me to be sick, however, now is really not a good time for me.
Just wondering if we could reschedule this whole sore throat, runny nose, headache, coughing thing for another time.
Please let me know what time would work best for you so that I can arrange to be out of town and miss your visit completely.
Signed,
Seriously, I don't have time for this
Dear manufacturers of Mucinex,
First off, I would like to say how much I enjoy your product, it does what you say it will do, and to some extent, has offered me some relief from the symptoms of this stupid cold that I have not been enjoying for the last while.
Last week, I went to purchase a new package of Mucinex, when I discovered that not only do you have a regular strength, but now an extra strength!
I almost bought the extra strength because anything extra strength has got to be better than regular, right?
Upon further reading of the label, I discovered that your "extra strength" actually had twice the amount of active ingredients in each capsule, but you could only take 2 doses a day, whereas the regular strength has half the ingredients but you can take 4 doses a day.
Extra strength = 1200 mg per capsule x 2 doses per day.............total 2400 mg.
Regular strength= 600 mg per capsule x 4 doses per day..........total 2400 mg.
?????
Seriously? Who do you think you're fooling?
Signed,
The consumer who will continue to buy the less expensive regular strength.
Dear Lady sitting across from us at the restaurant,
Even though your bra straps are beige, we can still see them because you are wearing a halter top.
Seriously, you are not fooling anyone.
Signed,
The Fashion Police.
Dear Department of Transportation,
Why are you digging up all of the roads that I drive on?
Signed,
Late for everything due to the amount of road construction everywhere I go.
Dear middle aged man who just cut me off on the freeway,
Are you aware that the cute little red convertible that you are driving doesn't hide the fact that you are bald?
And fat.
Signed,
Not impressed
Dear Justin Bieber's hairstylist,
Stop that! Please!
Perhaps your talents would be better used on old fat men trying to hide their bald spots, in fact, the other day I was nearly hit on the road by a guy that could have used your services.
Signed,
Step away from the hair dryer!
Dear Diet Dr. Pepper,
You are awesome!
Signed,
Your jittery friend.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
The unfortunate fate of my future grandchildren
A few nights ago at dinner, Max didn't want to eat any of the food I had fixed. One of the kids told him that he needed to eat vegetables so he could grow, but Max still didn't want any.
"Max, if you don't eat healthy food, you won't grow any bigger, you want to get taller, don't you?"
Max rolled his eyes and said "Yes, I want to grow bigger so I can be a dad!"
I asked him how many kids he wanted to have and he said he wanted to have 5 kids.
"What are you going to name them?" Brielle asked, and Max replied "I'm going to name one of them Human."
"Human???" we all questioned in unison.
"Yes" Max said, "Human Chen. I'm going to name one of my kids Human Chen."
Friday, July 23, 2010
Things that should exist, but haven't been invented yet
1. Self cleaning kitchen floors.
2. Seat belts for children at restaurants.
(Yes, I'm talking to you, little league baseball team who ate in the same restaurant that we did, and sat the kids at their own table near us while the parents enjoyed a lovely meal at a table of their own, away from said children (and when I say "sat" I mean that each of the kids technically had their own chair, even though they didn't really use it to sit in)
3. Self cleaning bathrooms.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Max and the big, sweaty guy
Tonight we went to a wedding reception for the son of a neighbor.
As we waited in the incredibly long line to greet the happy couple, we heard rumors of ice cream as refreshments.
The children were elated..........except for Max. He doesn't like ice cream, because apparently, it's too cold.
After we made our way through the reception line, the kids made a mad dash to the ice cream table.
I will say that we were not disappointed :0)
Chocolate dipped waffle bowls, brownies, caramel, chocolate and marshmallow topping (which I need to say was like creamy clouds made of sugar, sent down from heaven to rest upon my ice cream) various fresh fruits, crushed candy bars, chopped nuts, sprinkles and pink m&ms adorned the table.
Max still insisted that he didn't want ice cream, however, once he saw the brownies, he got very excited.
"I want a brownie! I want a brownie!" He jumped up and down until he got his hands on the plate with the brownie.
Then he saw the ice cream.
The lady serving the ice cream asked him if she could put some on his plate. He hesitated until Brielle said "You know, Max, the ice cream has been sitting out for a while and it's melted a little bit, so it won't be super cold."
This was all it took to convince him and he eagerly handed his plate to the lady who put a Max sized scoop..............
right on top of his brownie.
I knew that this would be trouble, especially with the whole "my food can't be touching, even a little bit" phase that he's been going through lately.
Surprisingly, Max didn't even flinch, and we walked outside to a table in the garden area of the reception center.
We sat down and slid Max's chair up to the table. He picked up his spoon and then it started.
"Hey. I didn't want the ice cream on top of the brownie."
He was uncharacteristically calm about the whole situation. I suggested that we just scoop the ice cream off of the brownie, and he happily agreed.
Then he looked at the brownie.
"Hey, there's still some ice cream on top. I don't want it there."
The already soft ice cream had melted a bit and left a puddle on top of the brownie. I scraped it off the best I could, but there was still some ice cream residue remaining.
My husband said "It's just the same as when you dunk your cookies in milk before you eat them. Go ahead and eat it, it'll taste good."
Max eyed the brownie suspiciously. "I dunk cookies in milk not brownies." Then he picked up his spoon and looked over the entire brownie, trying to find a place to dig in.
Again, I was a bit confused by his calm demeanor.
He finally looked up at me and said "Can I just pick it up with my hand and eat it?"
I told him that would be fine, so he picked up the brownie and "HEY THERE'S ICE CREAM ON THE BOTTOM OF MY BROWNIE!"
Yes, I knew we were headed for a meltdown, and it happened. I took the brownie, looked at the bottom of it, and sure enough, the bottom corner had some ice cream soaked into it. I turned the brownie around and handed it back to him. "Here buddy, just eat the other side, OK?"
He must have been really hungry because he did just that, and finished off the entire brownie, ice cream sludge and all.
I returned to my ice cream (remember, little clouds of marshmallow heaven mixed with chocolate sauce and crushed candy bars........) when Max looked at the melting scoop of ice cream on his plate.
"I don't want to eat this. Do I have to eat this?" he asked.
Almost as if they had rehearsed it, Brielle and Aaron said in unison "I'LL EAT HIS ICE CREAM"
He slid the plate over to them and they proceeded to attack the scoop seeing who could get the most of it first.
I leaned over to my husband and said "Apparently, I haven't actually fed them for like a week." (sidenote, I have fed them for the last week, I just haven't fed them ice cream)
As soon as Aaron finished of the bigger portion of the scoop, he started to shiver. It seems that the combination of eating his ice cream and Max's ice cream, plus being outside in the shade made him shiver uncontrollably.
Teeth were chattering.
This was really strange, because Aaron isn't usually a kid that gets cold easily. He's always the first one to declare that "Sure it's snowing outside, but it's really not that cold, I'm pretty sure I don't need a coat."
Brielle made some comment about how strange it was that he was cold because he's usually kind of sweaty, and then it happened. Max started singing.......
"He's big, he's sweaty, he's a guy, he's big sweaty guy!!"
We all looked at him, because this was kind of random. He must have enjoyed the attention because he sang it again.
"He's big, he's sweaty, he's a guy, he's big sweaty guy!!
This time we laughed, so you guessed it, he continued with his song, only louder.
"HE'S BIG, HE'S SWEATY, HE'S A GUY!
HE'S BIG, SWEATY GUY!!
Then again.
"HE'S BIG, HE'S SWEATY, HE'S A GUY!
HE'S BIG, SWEATY GUY!!!!"
So by now, people are staring. (You know, you'd think I'd be used to this by now.......)
At this point, we just picked him up and hauled him out to the car and we went home.
The problem is that now, I can't get the stupid song out of my head, so here it is, for your listening pleasure (or torture, you decide) Bill Nye and the Sweaty Guy song.
Is it just me, or does big, sweaty guy look a lot like an old version of Mario Lopez?
As we waited in the incredibly long line to greet the happy couple, we heard rumors of ice cream as refreshments.
The children were elated..........except for Max. He doesn't like ice cream, because apparently, it's too cold.
After we made our way through the reception line, the kids made a mad dash to the ice cream table.
I will say that we were not disappointed :0)
Chocolate dipped waffle bowls, brownies, caramel, chocolate and marshmallow topping (which I need to say was like creamy clouds made of sugar, sent down from heaven to rest upon my ice cream) various fresh fruits, crushed candy bars, chopped nuts, sprinkles and pink m&ms adorned the table.
Max still insisted that he didn't want ice cream, however, once he saw the brownies, he got very excited.
"I want a brownie! I want a brownie!" He jumped up and down until he got his hands on the plate with the brownie.
Then he saw the ice cream.
The lady serving the ice cream asked him if she could put some on his plate. He hesitated until Brielle said "You know, Max, the ice cream has been sitting out for a while and it's melted a little bit, so it won't be super cold."
This was all it took to convince him and he eagerly handed his plate to the lady who put a Max sized scoop..............
right on top of his brownie.
I knew that this would be trouble, especially with the whole "my food can't be touching, even a little bit" phase that he's been going through lately.
Surprisingly, Max didn't even flinch, and we walked outside to a table in the garden area of the reception center.
We sat down and slid Max's chair up to the table. He picked up his spoon and then it started.
"Hey. I didn't want the ice cream on top of the brownie."
He was uncharacteristically calm about the whole situation. I suggested that we just scoop the ice cream off of the brownie, and he happily agreed.
Then he looked at the brownie.
"Hey, there's still some ice cream on top. I don't want it there."
The already soft ice cream had melted a bit and left a puddle on top of the brownie. I scraped it off the best I could, but there was still some ice cream residue remaining.
My husband said "It's just the same as when you dunk your cookies in milk before you eat them. Go ahead and eat it, it'll taste good."
Max eyed the brownie suspiciously. "I dunk cookies in milk not brownies." Then he picked up his spoon and looked over the entire brownie, trying to find a place to dig in.
Again, I was a bit confused by his calm demeanor.
He finally looked up at me and said "Can I just pick it up with my hand and eat it?"
I told him that would be fine, so he picked up the brownie and "HEY THERE'S ICE CREAM ON THE BOTTOM OF MY BROWNIE!"
Yes, I knew we were headed for a meltdown, and it happened. I took the brownie, looked at the bottom of it, and sure enough, the bottom corner had some ice cream soaked into it. I turned the brownie around and handed it back to him. "Here buddy, just eat the other side, OK?"
He must have been really hungry because he did just that, and finished off the entire brownie, ice cream sludge and all.
I returned to my ice cream (remember, little clouds of marshmallow heaven mixed with chocolate sauce and crushed candy bars........) when Max looked at the melting scoop of ice cream on his plate.
"I don't want to eat this. Do I have to eat this?" he asked.
Almost as if they had rehearsed it, Brielle and Aaron said in unison "I'LL EAT HIS ICE CREAM"
He slid the plate over to them and they proceeded to attack the scoop seeing who could get the most of it first.
I leaned over to my husband and said "Apparently, I haven't actually fed them for like a week." (sidenote, I have fed them for the last week, I just haven't fed them ice cream)
As soon as Aaron finished of the bigger portion of the scoop, he started to shiver. It seems that the combination of eating his ice cream and Max's ice cream, plus being outside in the shade made him shiver uncontrollably.
Teeth were chattering.
This was really strange, because Aaron isn't usually a kid that gets cold easily. He's always the first one to declare that "Sure it's snowing outside, but it's really not that cold, I'm pretty sure I don't need a coat."
Brielle made some comment about how strange it was that he was cold because he's usually kind of sweaty, and then it happened. Max started singing.......
"He's big, he's sweaty, he's a guy, he's big sweaty guy!!"
We all looked at him, because this was kind of random. He must have enjoyed the attention because he sang it again.
"He's big, he's sweaty, he's a guy, he's big sweaty guy!!
This time we laughed, so you guessed it, he continued with his song, only louder.
"HE'S BIG, HE'S SWEATY, HE'S A GUY!
HE'S BIG, SWEATY GUY!!
Then again.
"HE'S BIG, HE'S SWEATY, HE'S A GUY!
HE'S BIG, SWEATY GUY!!!!"
So by now, people are staring. (You know, you'd think I'd be used to this by now.......)
At this point, we just picked him up and hauled him out to the car and we went home.
The problem is that now, I can't get the stupid song out of my head, so here it is, for your listening pleasure (or torture, you decide) Bill Nye and the Sweaty Guy song.
Is it just me, or does big, sweaty guy look a lot like an old version of Mario Lopez?
Thursday, March 25, 2010
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