And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats..............

 Alternate title:  "Giving in to assimilation"


Several years ago, I wrote a post about technology. I might have likened people using hands free Bluetooth headsets to the Borg from Star Trek.

You have to admit, it's a little scary.

I used to silently (and sometimes not so silently) mock the people who wore these devices in public. 

I thought they looked silly.

 Because, seriously, they had to have those things stuck in their ear all the time, I began to wonder if some of them had actually had these devices surgically installed in their brains.

They were everywhere, the grocery store, restaurants, sporting events, these people were everywhere!

Then my husband decided that I should have one for my phone so my hands would be free so I could talk on the phone while driving or working.

At first I didn't think it would make that much difference, (and I don't get that many calls while in the car anyway) but then I tried the headset.

(choirs of angels singing)

I was immediately converted to the use of this funny looking little gadget, especially when I discovered that I could use it to watch movies and listen to music from my phone. No more getting bored while waiting at the orthodontist or dentist! (or anywhere else)

The best part is that my hair is long enough that it covers the device and no one can see that I'm using it!

Then random people started talking to me out of the blue. Apparently, when people can't see the Bluetooth, they automatically assume that I'm talking to them, which I guess is understandable.....

Then last week my brother called me and handed the phone to his super adorable, newly potty trained 2 1/2 year old daughter. I had a conversation with her while walking into the store. I noticed that people were giving me strange looks and I thought they were being rude.

Until I realized that they were only hearing my side of the conversation.

"Wow! Big girl underwear are awesome! You're such a big girl, using the potty! I'm so proud of you for using the potty! I think daddy should give you a treat for being such a big girl!" 

Perhaps I shall start wearing my hair in a ponytail.

Point well taken

We've recently discovered that Max has an extreme fondness for hot chocolate. Last year we tried to give him some, but he saw the other kids stirring theirs with a spoon and he decided that he wanted to stir it too, but since he had the coordination of a three year it became very messy and we decided that he shouldn't have any more.

This year, Brielle discovered the magic known as the straw. Max will sit and sip his hot (it's actually just barely warm) chocolate through the straw.

He loves it!

We've also discovered that the kid will do anything for hot chocolate.

ANYTHING!

And yes, I'm going to use that little piece of information for as long as it lasts.

Last night I told Max that if he went and got his pajamas on right then, I would give him a cup of hot chocolate.

He was very excited and ran into his room.

A while later, I heard him playing in his room and walked in to find him still in his clothes, and his pajamas still sitting empty on his bed.

"Hey" I said "I thought you were going to put your pajamas on?"

He smiles at me and says "I'm going to do it in a minute."

A while later, I went back to see him still playing with his blocks.

"Max, it's almost your bedtime, please get your pajamas on!"

"OK mom, I'm doing it in a minute."

After about 20 minutes, he came walking into the family room, still dressed in his clothes.

I said "Max, go get your pajamas on now!"

He went back into his room and emerged a while later wearing his pajamas. "I'm ready for my hot chocolate now."

"No Max, I said you could have hot chocolate if you got in your pajamas quickly, but it took you a long time."

"But I said I would do it in a minute!"

"You took way more than a minute, a minute is only a short amount of time."

And then he says to me,

"When YOU say "in a minute," it always takes a really long time!"

Point well taken.

(Don't you hate it when things that you say to your kids come back later to bite you in the butt?)

Max quote of the day:

"If it gets snow on it, does garbage change to garbage juice?"

I'm pretty sure that's not the way I learned it

Max: "Mom, what comes after Cuban?"

Me: "What do you mean, what comes after Cuban?"

Max: "Like in the Christmas song that I'm learning at school."

Me: ???????

Max: (exasperated) "You know it! It's the one that goes you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cuban and ................ what comes after Cuban?"

Me: "Donner?"

Max: "OK. Then which one comes after Cheatin'?

( I have no idea which one he was talking about there. I pretty much gave up after that)

Later I hear him singing

"Rudoff the red nosed reindeer, has a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even see his clothes."

More soap please

A few mornings ago, Max came out of the bathroom and said "Hey, the pee is still on my hand."

So I told him to go wash his hands again, and he did.

A while later he said "MOM! The pee is still on my hand!"

I told him to go wash his hands again, and he did.

This happened several more times during the day and each time I told him to wash his hands, and he did.

After washing his hands multiple times, Max came out of the bathroom, rather distressed. "I keep washing my hand and the pee still won't come off!"

Then he held up his hand to show me the letter "P" his teacher stamped on the back of his hand at preschool the day before.

Whoa, that's chilly.

For the last two days I have been looking for my deodorant.

I have searched everywhere that I thought it could be. (but not very strenuously, to prevent myself from sweating)

I just found my deodorant in the freezer.

Any guesses as to how it got there?

Apparently I've been too vague when posting about things that have disturbed me

Yesterday I posted this photo.



And said that I found one of them.

And I did find one of them. It was growing out the side of my head.

It was a gray hair.

I must say that I'm a little disappointed that nobody figured this one out and just automatically assumed that I found a huge rabbit hopping around in the back yard.
And just for the record, if we had found a rabbit in the back yard, Max would not have liked it, he would have had a major FREAKING OUT!

Max is not a big fan of animals that have not come from Build-a-bear.

I'm pretty sure that he would like animals if we had any around, however, we do not have any pets because:

#1. DH is allergic to fur.

#2. We have new carpet.

#3. I have enough on my mind, trying to keep 4 kids and one husband cared for. I do not need to be responsible for one more living thing. That goes for houseplants too.

Now don't get me wrong, I love dogs (cats, not so much, they're too sneaky) (and please don't send any hate mail about the fact that I like dogs more than cats.)

Max is convinced that the dog that lives behind us is someday going to eat the fence and come into our yard and eat him too.
I've told him that if the dog ate the fence he would probably be too full to eat him too. (unless he wanted to eat him for dessert, because he's so sweet)

Still, dogs, cats, lizards and real birds freak him out.

So, back to the original subject, I found a gray hair!!! I plucked it from my head so I knew for sure that it was mine, not like those others that I've found in my hairbrush. I was under the impression that some old lady was sneaking into our house while we were gone and brushing her hair with my brush. (I'm pretty sure she might have had something to do with that pair of old lady shoes that I bought too) No siree bob, I have to claim this stupid hair.

The really sad part is that I'm only 30.*

Anyway, I posted the gray hare/hair thinking that all of my bloggy friends would say things like:
"Oh honey, I'm sorry, you should try Clairol #5."
or
"Gray is the new blonde."

But, no. Instead of being all supportive, everyone is all excited about a huge, non-existing rabbit in our back yard. (which in reality would probably fit in nicely with all of Max's imaginary birds)

Now, excuse me, I need to go to the store and stock up on some Geritol and Oil of Olay.




* This is actually my third year being 30. I will not tell you how many years I spent at age 29.