Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Are missing spoons a matter of national security?

Yes, I'm still here.
I just realized that it's been over three weeks since I last posted.
After quite a dry spell, I finally got some work for my home business (YAY) and I've been so busy with actual work, that I didn't have time to write an actual blog post. (Except for this one where I guest posted)

During the last few weeks, I've had several brilliant ideas of what to write about, but of course now as I'm sitting here at the computer, do you think I can remember any of them?

Yes, I know, I know, when I get an idea, I should write it down, and then I can remember it later, but that would mean that I would need to find a pen or pencil, and then some paper , and by the time I have been able to identify those two items, because I can't ever seem to find them easily, I will have forgotten my idea anyway.

That's just how my memory works sometimes. Not that I have alzheimers or anything, because I'm pretty sure I don't.
Or I think I don't ..............or.................shoot, what was I talking about?


Even though I haven't had the time to write, I have taken a moment now and then to look at my site meter, you know, just to see if I've been forgotten, and I've learned some interesting things, such as.................

There are a ton of people going to google and looking for "Thou shalt not whine" and variations on that phrase.
Thou shalt not whine sign
Thou shalt not whine plaque
Though shalt not whine
Thous shall not wine

Come on, it's called spell check people, please use it!

Several people googled "How not to whine"

Other strange keywords leading to my blog were;

Toilet whine on flushing
What is the biggest item that can be flushed and not get stuck in the toilet
Fix stuck liquid soap dispenser
Hey do you want to split a

But my all time favorite keyword inquiry is....

(drumroll please......)

How to force your Daddy to buy you want when he's already about to not buy you one because your whining too much


I would be interested to know what it was this kid wanted, and I certainly hope that their Daddy didn't buy it for them, because whining should not be rewarded.

I also really enjoy finding out where the people live that are reading my blog. I always get a kick out of seeing where in the world my blog is being read.

However, I've discovered someone visiting my blog lately that concerns me a bit. Quite a few times I have seen..............

Arlington Virginia. The host address is from The Pentagon.

Yes folks, someone from The Pentagon is reading my blog.

Now I have to wonder why anyone from The Pentagon would be interested in reading my blog. Seriously, do stories of butt ugly homemade bread and tales of potty training failures have anything to do with national security?

Or, are they studying me trying to learn different methods of torture from my children?
(I feel that whining is indeed a very effective method of torture)
Are they trying to find out how long the average stay at home mom can listen to four children whine before completely losing it?
Are they trying to learn which items can and can't be flushed down the toilet successfully?

And why would they need all this handy information?

Are they the ones who took all of my missing spoons? Am I part of some twisted experiment where they take various forms of flatware from people to see how long it takes before they buy a new set? (We bought a new set last month. I think we're already missing a few spoons.)
And why just the spoons? Why are there no forks missing? Especially that enormous serving fork or the butter serving knife, (like anybody really uses those anyway)

Are they at all confused by the last paragraph that I typed? (because, seriously, I am.)

Or is it just some cleaning lady that works at the Pentagon, sneaking on to the computers during her break time to read blogs?

This subject has me rather perplexed.

So, Pentagon blog stalker, comment.

I dare you.

What do you all think?
Why is the Pentagon taking such an interest in my blog?


Kalynne Pudner said...

Welcome back, Jill! In case she doesn't see this for a while, I'll go out on a limb and suggest that the "Pentagon stalker" is Mommeeof9. (I know, it threw me at first too. The scariest thing is that sometimes the Pentagon URL is located in Arlington, sometimes in Annandale, or Alexandria or Silver Spring, MD. They're sneaky that way.)

Threeundertwo said...

I like seeing visitors from "Camp Liberty" Iraq. I once clicked on my map on statcounter and saw someone out in the ocean off Africa. Ship maybe? Plane?

Nice to see you back. Sorry about the spoons.

Elizabeth said...

Hmm, pentagon stalker... interesting.
Glad your back. I know how it is sometimes...hope the work is going well. Blessings, E

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Kalynne's right, she visits me, too. She must have a slow job. Very nice lady, though...

One of my visitors was from an ISP connected to the House of Representatives...now that one, I'm curious about.

Hey It's Di said...

I agree with the conspiracy theory! I too go through spoons like crazy. Where are they and what do they want them for? I first thought it was aliens but I'm thinking it's the government:/

Glad your back!

Holly said...

Hahaha, it's a mystery to me, too, the searches people use to find my blog.

I once managed a site where someone kept coming from a company that dealt with supercomputers or something. It was so weird.

Laura said...

WOW...not sure what that all means...good luck finding the spoon!

mommeeof9 said...

Yes, it was me. It's very quiet at my office on the evenings and weekends when I work. I like quiet, as the opposite means there is something wrong and everyone calls to tell us about and wants it fixed now.

I don't have your spoons. They are hiding with mine somewhere? My mom used to find spoons in the trash inside ice cream containers or with the yogurt someone had just finished. I should be glad my kids frequently forget to throw away their trash or bring their dishes back to the kitchen. After all, we know the phrase, "only eat in the kitchen or dining room" means "take your food wherever you wish and leave the utensils and dishes there when you are done".

Maraiya said...

Laugh out loud funny! And I'm jealous - a pentagon stalker. How. fun. That is until you read your FBI file. Oh well, when they drag you in chains, I'll be sure to cry and say, "She always seemed so nice. I'm sure she didn't do it."

Glad you're posting. I was very sad not to hear from you for so long. (Darn real work and the fact that we need the money it generates. "Curse you Aquascum!")

Tausha said...

ok-i have that problem too! Why is it always the spoons? Never any of the other utensils. Ever! I always have to buy new spoons! What happens to them? Kind of like the missing socks in the dryer! I am not as cool as you! The pentagon doesn't care about me. Dangit! or maybe thats a good thing!? HMMM!

Busty LaRue said...

Maybe the spoons are getting flushed down the toilet?!

utmomof5 said...

She has never visited me!! i want a pentagon stalker!!! My life is exactly what the pentagon should be worried about!! :)

Sorry about the spoons. I think it is a spy from Ikea so that I will keep going back to buy more flatware.

Davis Family said...

Wow, you have fans from all over...how fantastic. I couldn't even begin to imaging what they want with you...maybe you should start sleeping with one eye open or something.

Pentagon Stalker said...

Yes, I took your spoons to use for a matter of national security. It involves a study on what drives people to the brink of crazy.

Sorry, you don't have clearance for more info, but if you could just post your level of crazy from time to time, that would save me quite a bit of stalking.


Jo said...

I am sooo jealous! I want a Pentagon stalker! I think you should put GPS units on all your spoons, then you would know where they went.
One of my favorite searchs is naked wrestling. Weird what leads someone to your blog. And for some reason I can not fathom, the picture of my pale hand when I was really, really anemic gets tons of hits. Weird.

Ringmaster said...


Socks (only the ones that go on the left foot)


Cell Phones.

TV remotes.


Bonnie the Boss said...

So what do you use to get all this info? I want an accurate counter-who-has-been-on-my-blog thingie. I love the Also post. New words make us laugh and crazy at the same time.

ed said...
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