Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hungry Elephants

Max has a new phrase.

Whenever he doesn't want to do something, he says "No, the elephants will come and eat me!"

Or if he wants me to do something for him and I'm blogging busy doing something important, he will say "Come here mom, or the elephants will also come and eat you!"

I'm trying to understand where he came up with this irrational fear of elephants eating people. The closest Max has ever come to an elephant is when we were at Disneyland last year, and we waited in line for 40 minutes to ride Dumbo (yes, ONLY 30 minutes, it was a slow day) and when we started to get in the Dumbo ride, Max freaked out, and wouldn't get in, so I handed him to his daddy and I rode by myself.
(We have this really cute picture of him standing next to the fence watching me on the ride by myself. His bottom lip is sticking out ever so slightly, and there are tears welling up in his eyes) (and no, I didn't feel like a dork being the only adult on the ride not accompanied by a child)

But as far as I could tell, none of the flying elephants ever actually ate anyone.

So here are some questions.

Do I still take the kids to meet the circus train and see the elephants up close?

Would this be super traumatic for my little guy to be that close to the elephants or will watching the circus parade show the kid that the elephants won't really eat him?

What do I do if an elephant actually does eat somebody?

What will I do if an elephant poops in the street right next to where we're standing?

What if Max thinks that's cool and decides that he can do that in the street too?

Would standing right in front of the chocolate store (on the street where the circus parade will be traveling) and feeding my face with delicious chocolate make Max feel better about the elephants?

What do you think?


Lisa said...

I think if you are standing in front of the chocolate store you pretty much won't have to worry about the other important concerns. You can just distract Max with chocolate whenever one of those things happens. And make sure you buy some peanut buttery something to distract the elephant with in case he DOES decide to eat someone when he's near the chocolate store. You'll be a real hero!

b. said...

I think you take your chances and go to the circus parade.

The kid is a scream!

Valerie said...

If you're eating chocolate nothing can go wrong. It's a rule of the universe.

Maraiya said...

I'm looking at the time you wrote this (I was up but couldn't think of anything to write as I was butt tired) and I realized that you aren't kidding about doing the things you love from 2am - 5am! I don't whether to say "You go girl!" or "Come to my house, I will let you blog all you want AND feed you chocolate."

As for the elephant, as previously remarked, I think Max is a brilliant little boy with fabulous future (perhaps in crime...he could join my boy Quinn). I think he has just discovered the perfect excuse to leave you flabbergasted and without rebuttal. Mwahahaha. He is just an evil genius. Call his bluff; take him to see an elephant.

Kristina P. said...

When are you going to the circus? We're going on Saturday. Apparently, my friend/coworker loves the circus, and since I've never been, agreed to go. I'm sure I will poke my eyes out at some point, but whatever.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

You know, the elephant thing just hasn't come up around here. I guess I'm lucky.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Sorry, I don't have many answers to your phobia questions . . . maybe make his pancakes in the shape of an elephant one morning and see how that goes, then work up from there.

The thing that I had to comment about is that when my oldest son was two, he had seizures and we spent several days in pediatric ICU. After a spinal tap and some heavy medication, it was a HORRIBLE night. He kept waking up from nightmares and would have hallucinations about the elephants chasing him. He would literally climb up our bodies screaming and looking over his shoulder. I could never figure out where this fear might have come from.... so interesting that yours came up with the same elephant fear. Crazy.

Jessica G. said...

The pooping the in the street thing - while sure to change his opinion about elephants for the better - might have some negative impacts on his potty training...But whatever you decide, definitely eat some chocolate.

Jo said...

I think you should take him. He is a smart kid, I think he will be okay with the elephants, especially if accompanied with chocolate. However, he may develop an irrational fear of clowns while you are there. The Pea says the gatorades are going to eat her toesies and each time she says it, I die a little from the cute.

utmomof5 said...

I think I know need to have chocolate cake.

MamaHenClucks said...

I think as long as you are standing next to the chocolate store and eating chocolate, all should be well. And since he IS a little boy, having an elephant poop next to him might just be cool and get rid of his fear!

Busty LaRue said...

I think as long as the elephant doesn't poop in front of you and you have plenty of chocolate, you should be fine!

Jen said...

You should still expose him to elephants so he can overcome his fear.

If an elephant eats you, run around inside him until you get pooped out.

Chocolate is the solution to every problem.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I think chocolate is a must for avoiding being eaten by elephants. Maybe you could tell him that elephants hate chocolate and won't eat anything with chocolate in it. They won't eat him if he has eaten chocolate.
BTW Flying monkey's don't like chocolate either