Saturday, September 13, 2008

eBay shmeeBay

Alternate title to this post "When good auctions go bad"
Or "What do squirrels eating Nacho cheese Doritos have to do with anything?"

If you've been reading here for a while, you know how much I love eBay. You can buy anything on eBay.


A few years ago, me and the kids invented a new game. It's called "Do they sell it?"
We go to eBay, then type in really random items. Nine times out of ten somebody, somewhere is trying to sell it.
We search for things such as used socks. I just looked, and as of tonight there are 290 listings for used socks.

Some people seemed to have a very high opinion of their used socks. One lady was trying to sell several pairs of her old socks. They looked quite worn and stretched out. The bidding started at $7.99 per pair, and the "buy it now" price was $9.99.

I don't even pay that much for a new pair of socks!

Anyway, back to eBay. I had some items that I wanted to list on eBay today. A while ago, I bought some special software to use to list items on eBay. It has all sorts of fun templates to use for auction listings.
The software worked pretty good the first time I used it, but I've encountered problems since then.
Fast forward to today. I want to list an item. When I first opened the program, it said that there were some new updates to the software, and would I like to download them now?"
Sure. Why not?
I click on the little button, and voila! My software is up to date!

Things went relatively smoothly listing the first item, but then I went to list item #2.

I fill out all the information and upload the photos. It looks great, so I click on "publish auction" then I went to eBay to see how it looked, but instead of listing the second item, it listed the first again.

I now have the same item listed twice.

"No problem" I thought. "I'll just delete it then start over" so I went back to the nifty listing software, re entered everything, and clicked publish, then I get this..........

"This is a trial version of this software. You have used your three free listings. To purchase software, click here"

Say what???

I bought this software at a store. It came in a box and everything.

This happened once before, and I had to go through this lengthy process of finding the original box and instruction manual and the numbers to enter and...................

So instead of going through that again, I just opened an older version of the software, and guess what?

"Your eBay list has been updated to a newer version. This version is out of date, and will not open the updated files."

I can't open the newer version because it's supposedly a trial version, and I can't open the older version because the files have been updated and will only open with the newer version.

Can you see why I was a tad upset???

I went directly to eBay, thinking that I would just delete the entire listing, but do you think I could find the delete button anywhere.

So I decided that since I didn't have a duplicate item to sell on the second listing, I would just change it. I reduced the starting bid to .01 cent and made the shipping free. And then, just to blow off steam, I wrote a bit of a rant in the description.

This is it.

Please don't bid on this item.
I accidentally listed the same item twice! I Only have one item to sell, and it's being sold on the other listing.

I can't find where I can delete this listing!!
I've searched everywhere, and tried to find a way to stop this auction, and the delete button has been hidden so well that I'm pretty sure I'll never find it!
I'm losing my mind!

No matter how loud I yell at my computer and eBay, the listing just won't go away!!


So, I just deleted all of the real information on this listing, and plan on letting it run until it ends, and just eat any listing fees that they might throw at me.

I was just going to leave the gallery photo blank, but then I noticed that the first photo is free, and hey, I'm not about to pass up a great deal like that.

If you're wondering about the picture that I have on this listing, it's a photo that my kids took of a squirrel at the Grand Canyon several years ago.They were feeding it tortilla chips, which I know is not good for the little squirrels, due to all of the trans fats and everything, however, I was unaware that my darling offspring were feeding junk food to the wildlife at this lovely national landmark.

What can I say, my kids are sneaky.

Had I known that this was what they were doing, I would have confiscated the chips, and given them a stern lecture (the kids, not the squirrels) and then made the little rugrats eat broccoli or brussell sprouts or something.

As it turned out, I didn't know about the squirrel chip-fest until we got back home and saw the photos, and by then, we were hundreds of miles away, and seriously, what could I do at that point?
The other photo is the result of one of my sneaky kids.

I'm not sure which one took the photo, but there are about twelve more just like it. I don't know who the mustache belongs to. Poor guy, he has no idea that his facial hair has just been posted online.

I had to pay 15 cents to include that second photo, so I hope you enjoy it.

If you notice, the shipping for this item is FREE! That's pretty much because I don't have an actual item to sell on this listing, so basically it won't cost anything for the postage. If you have somehow made it to the end of this description, and you feel like looking at the real listing, you know, the one with the original dress, just go up to the right hand side of your computer screen and click on "view seller's other items" and it will magically appear before your eyes. If you wanted to bid on the dress, (the one in the real listing) that would be great too. The dress is really pretty, the pictures didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, trust me, the dress is gorgeous. Thank you for reading my rant.

Peace out.


Adam and Kristina said...

I don't even know what you're selling, but I would totally buy it, based on that description.

I'm trying to make a Pop Tart that has the image of Jesus on it, to sell. What do you think?

Oh, and you really can find everything on eBay. I often buy invitations on there. Just bought some cute little aprons for my Christmas cookie exchange.

Melissa said...

Love it! Clever, creative and fun... I wonder if someone will bid? :D

April said...

ROFL Well.... at least you just gave a bunch of people a good laugh... maybe someone will pay for that :)

Me said...

That is Funny!! Way to find humor in an annoying situation!!

Valerie said...

Where's the link to your ebay listing?...

Maraiya said...

You are hilarious. I probably would have done something similar but it would have been just a boring statement of how this is a duplicate - no junk food fattened squirrels or mystery mustached men. You are so creative!

Ewelina said...

That's why I don't use eBay. Actually I don't use eBay because I live far away and there's a similar site in this country. I don't use that one either, though. I think it's because I don't do the on line auction thing. Oh yes. That's it.

Sorry about your annoying eBay woes!

Brittany said...

I told my bishop I needed a new temple recommend because I had sold my other one on Ebay.

I'm so glad he has a sense of humor.

*MARY* said...

I'll take it! The squirrel not the mustache.

Jo said...

You're funny! I wonder how much you will end up getting for nothing?

MamaHenClucks said...

Oh my gosh! I just laughed out loud until my side hurt! I love ebay but I would never, ever have gotten that creative with a listing. You are hilarious and seriously that guys mustache? Totally worth the 15 cents you had to pay to post it!

utmomof5 said...

You are too funny!! Love it!!

elizasmom said...

Oh, this is almost as good as the guy who ebayed his ex-wife's wedding dress:

I hope someone buys the squirrel!

Jessica G. said...

Hehehehe! Oh, I bet people will bid on it anyway...cuz some people just like to be ornery. Then you can send them a copy of those pictures!

Melissa Bastow said...

Coooooool, I want it! I like how you splurged on that extra 15 cent picture. You're such a giver.

Busty LaRue said...

I used to sell stuff on ebay for my job, and you should be able to delete the duplicate listing from your ebay account. I had an ebay store, but I'm pretty sure that it would work the same even if you don't have a store. It should list all of your items for sale under "selling" when you sign in to your account on ebay. Then it should give you the option to end listing. HOpe this helps!

Mrs. B said...

It's amazing what people try to sell on ebay these days....


p.s. I recently started a blog of my own. Please check it out.


Hey It's Di said...

You crack me up! I love the story and think you should make a haul on that alone:)

Cheryl said...

You are hilarious! I'm hooked. :-) Found you on Mormon Mommy Bloggers via Amy Lawson.

This is also why I only buy stuff on ebay, never sell. I wouldn't have a clue.

Lois said...

Oh my goodness. I was peeing my pants reading this. I especially like that your kids took 13 pictures of some random stranger's mustache!

Thanks for brightening my day.

Jen said...

If ebay was always that interesting I'd probably be more interested. You should have referred them to your blog - you probably would have had some takers.

Thanks for visiting me:)

Threeundertwo said...

Ebay is like a drug (I posted about it today too).

But as crazy as that is, Craigslist gets even crazier sometimes. Complete with awful pictures of awful furniture in people's awful homes.

It's like watching a train wreck. I love it.

Wizzard MoM : Striving for Perfection said...

This was too funny!!! Isn't amazing how kids can be SNEAKY!!!

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