Friday, September 5, 2008

Anticipation...................

(If that title makes you think about ketchup, then I have a pretty good idea of how old you are)

I'm waiting.

My palms are sweaty.

I'm even trembling a bit.


One hour and three minutes left to go.

My heart rate increases every time I think about it.

I have to be ready.


I'm SO nervous!! Why do I get so nervous every time I do this???


I'm a wreck. I've been pacing around the house all morning long.

Waiting.



Hoping.




Trying not to get my hopes up.


But I can't help but daydream about what might happen. I'm hoping that I'm just fast enough and lucky enough to make this thing happen.

But, the waiting is killing me.


And if I get my hopes up, and then things don't work out..............................


No, I don't want to think about it.

I can't think about it. It makes me crazy.




CRAZY I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!




I've been doing what I do best when I'm under stress.



Eating.



Unfortunately, I finished off all the chocolate in the house yesterday, and so the only food choices that I have left are healthy things such as carrot sticks and wheat bread.

What I would give for a dove bar right about now.

With nuts.

Or better yet, a great big slab of Costco chocolate cake.

Or even better than that, a big slab of Cheesecake Factory white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake.

Yes, I think that would do it.

Maybe I could cover it with chocolate too.



55 minutes and 42 seconds to go.


Now I'm shaking. My pulse rate has gone up. I'm thinking that this should count as some sort of cardio workout or something.

I hope I don't pass out, because then I might miss it.


I briefly thought about having a Cherry vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper, but with my current heart rate, I think the last thing I need is a can of caffeine.

Waiting.



Waiting..........



Waiting....................



Thinking about what I will need to do. If I do it too soon, I could miss out. Too late, and I could miss it completely.


You would think that for as many times as I have been through this, that I would get used to this, that I wouldn't get as nervous.

Experience doesn't help. It just makes me more aware of what I must do, and of what can go wrong.

I'm very nervous.


Now, don't get me wrong, if I miss out on this, it won't ruin my life or anything, but it will probably ruin my day. And quite possibly my weekend too.

And I really want to have a good weekend.


I've been trying to do some work while I'm waiting, but I can't concentrate.

I have to be ready.

I've been distracted before, and like an hour later, I realize that I missed the whole thing.


I couldn't handle it if that happened this time.



I need to be ready.



42 minutes and 1 second.




I wish my hands would stop shaking.




Oh, this is ridiculous!!!! Why do I get like this?????




35 minutes and 9 seconds left.



I need to go walk around a bit.


I'm back.


27 minutes and 52 seconds.



Go ahead, guess.


Guess what I'm waiting for.



Only those who have previously gone through this experience will truly understand.



This is exhausting. When this is over I'm going to need a nap.


So, have you guessed what I'm doing?

Do you know what I'm waiting for???

Would you care to guess, or should I tell you.




21 minutes and 53 seconds.


Wish me luck.

20 comments:

Davis Family said...

Nope...I've always stunk at riddles. But now I'm nervous just WONDERING what you might be waiting for. :)

Lisa said...

You've got MY heart rate up, you punk! I'm SO mad that I read this right after you posted it because it's that much longer I'll have to wait to find out! Would you email me and tell me what it is? :)

Adam and Kristina said...

Is it Oprah? I feel the same.

Actually I have no idea! Tell!!!

Valerie said...

WTF?! That's totally not fair! What is it? I have to know!

utmomof5 said...

If you were only waiting for 3 minutes I would think you were waiting for a pregnancy test!! :)

Okay now it isn't funny anymore -- WHAT!!?

Crystal said...

Sounds to me like an eBay auction. My husband always drags me away and makes me do something else so I can't obsessively press the refresh button. :)

Good N Crazy said...

Well Geez, are you pregnant or what?

No? Are you getting a puppy?

Is Aunt Flo coming?

A new dining set?

Wait...Your husband bought you a new car and it's being delivered? yeah I wouldn't get that excited over that either...

I give.

And my bloglist says you posted this 4 hours ago...so what is it?

Jenny said...

So, did you win or get outbid at the last minute? I, like you, can't take the pressure! My husband laughs when I bid prematurely (you know, with like 15 seconds left, instead of 1). Hope you win! Oh, and you can set the alarm on your cell phone to go off a few minutes before...that has kept me from missing an auction while trying to cook dinner, change a diaper, and read to a kid all at the same time:)

Jo said...

The mail man? A soap opera?

soyandrue said...

It must be Ebay. I hope whatever it is that you win (of course, you're going to win it!), you'll be posting a picture of it tomorrow. And THEN we'll all be jealous. Good luck!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I go with the ebay hypothesis.

MamaHenClucks said...

OK, I've waited all day. Did you win? Was it ebay?

mylitlbratz said...

I to go with the Ebay theory...

Maraiya said...

ARGH!! All that and no answer?

Friday morning....I don't know. What happens? I'd say sending all your kids to school but you've already done that.

And BTW, it's Sunday, days later, and you still haven't answered. So. not. nice.

hello, my name is amber marie. said...

*here's to boosting your self-esteem. ;)

LOL! i love that! :)

hmm... how did i get here? oh yeah... through kristina to chloe, then from chloe to you.

thought i'd say hello :)

i don't even know you, but this post is intense... + now i HAVE to come back to find out what it IS!

feel free to stop by my blog as well [www.amberbelmonte.com] :)

Jen said...

Gotta be ebay. I'm glad the commenters figured it out because I had no clue til then.

Busty LaRue said...

It could be ebay...but it could also be something yummy cooking in the oven...like chocolate cake or brownies or something.

by AnnieValentine said...

Adams Peanut Butter Fudge Cup Ripple. That's all I have to say.

And I bet you won.

Jessica G. said...

I'm voting for eBay, too. Or you've made some cheesecake and can't eat it until it cools properly...happens to me all the time. ;)

Bonnie the Boss said...

Not a clue what you are waiting for. I am kinda dumb that way.