Anticipation...................

(If that title makes you think about ketchup, then I have a pretty good idea of how old you are)

I'm waiting.

My palms are sweaty.

I'm even trembling a bit.


One hour and three minutes left to go.

My heart rate increases every time I think about it.

I have to be ready.


I'm SO nervous!! Why do I get so nervous every time I do this???


I'm a wreck. I've been pacing around the house all morning long.

Waiting.



Hoping.




Trying not to get my hopes up.


But I can't help but daydream about what might happen. I'm hoping that I'm just fast enough and lucky enough to make this thing happen.

But, the waiting is killing me.


And if I get my hopes up, and then things don't work out..............................


No, I don't want to think about it.

I can't think about it. It makes me crazy.




CRAZY I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!




I've been doing what I do best when I'm under stress.



Eating.



Unfortunately, I finished off all the chocolate in the house yesterday, and so the only food choices that I have left are healthy things such as carrot sticks and wheat bread.

What I would give for a dove bar right about now.

With nuts.

Or better yet, a great big slab of Costco chocolate cake.

Or even better than that, a big slab of Cheesecake Factory white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake.

Yes, I think that would do it.

Maybe I could cover it with chocolate too.



55 minutes and 42 seconds to go.


Now I'm shaking. My pulse rate has gone up. I'm thinking that this should count as some sort of cardio workout or something.

I hope I don't pass out, because then I might miss it.


I briefly thought about having a Cherry vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper, but with my current heart rate, I think the last thing I need is a can of caffeine.

Waiting.



Waiting..........



Waiting....................



Thinking about what I will need to do. If I do it too soon, I could miss out. Too late, and I could miss it completely.


You would think that for as many times as I have been through this, that I would get used to this, that I wouldn't get as nervous.

Experience doesn't help. It just makes me more aware of what I must do, and of what can go wrong.

I'm very nervous.


Now, don't get me wrong, if I miss out on this, it won't ruin my life or anything, but it will probably ruin my day. And quite possibly my weekend too.

And I really want to have a good weekend.


I've been trying to do some work while I'm waiting, but I can't concentrate.

I have to be ready.

I've been distracted before, and like an hour later, I realize that I missed the whole thing.


I couldn't handle it if that happened this time.



I need to be ready.



42 minutes and 1 second.




I wish my hands would stop shaking.




Oh, this is ridiculous!!!! Why do I get like this?????




35 minutes and 9 seconds left.



I need to go walk around a bit.


I'm back.


27 minutes and 52 seconds.



Go ahead, guess.


Guess what I'm waiting for.



Only those who have previously gone through this experience will truly understand.



This is exhausting. When this is over I'm going to need a nap.


So, have you guessed what I'm doing?

Do you know what I'm waiting for???

Would you care to guess, or should I tell you.




21 minutes and 53 seconds.


Wish me luck.