Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Just try to make sense of this post. I dare you.

Not much happening around here as of late. (which should explain the lack of blog posting on my part)
Every once and a while I get a great idea of something to write about, but by the time I get to the computer, I forget. Yes, I know, I should write down my idea as soon as it pops into my head, and I would, IF I COULD EVER FIND A PEN THAT WORKS!

And paper to write on.

Actually, we have plenty of paper, it's piled all over my kitchen. It's mostly the lack of working pens in my house that keeps me from writing anything down.

I once wrote down a phone message on a nursing pad with a crayon.

(seriously, I did!) But that was a long time ago, and we haven't had a nursing pad in the house for years.

The main thing happening right now is that my tooth/teeth are really hurting. I've been to the dentist multiple times because of the pain in my teeth. I've had so many x-rays that I'm surprised that the left side of my face isn't glowing.

They can never find anything wrong.

So now I'm faced with a dilema. Do I rearrange my schedule to find time to go to the dentist and have even more x-rays taken, just to have him tell me once again that there's nothing wrong or just continue to tough it out with my Costco sized bottle of ibuprofen.

I'm a little concerned about the warning on the label on the ibuprofen that says you shouldn't take it longer than a certain amount of days. I'm pretty sure that if I exceed the maximum amount of days for the ibuprofen, I will probably grow an extra arm or something.

But then again, an extra arm could come in handy.

Think of how much more I could accomplish!!

I could type and eat at the same time!
I can talk on my cell phone, put on lipstick and still keep one hand on the steering wheel!

But I might look kind of weird, and I would start to see my picture on the cover of the tabloids as I wait in line at the supermarket.
But then I would get a phone call from the producer of the Jerry Springer show! They would fly me to their studio and I would get to appear on TV!
While on the plane, I could impress my fellow passengers by being able to buckle my seatbelt and put my tray table back into it's original upright position AT THE SAME TIME!

But then I would get to the Jerry Springer show and some guy with one tooth would rip off his shirt and throw a chair at me.

Maybe Oprah would have me on her show! I could jump on her couch and tell her how much I love having a third arm.
But what if it turns out that my extra arm is another left arm?

I'm right handed.

That could be a problem.

Last night, I made some cookies to help motivate the kids to finish their homework ("OK kids, get the first page of homework done and you can sniff a cookie, the second page, you can lick a cookie, but you must have all of the homework done before you can actually eat a cookie!")
When I took the cookies out of the oven, Aaron asked me "Will there be enough cookies left tomorrow so that we can eat them while we're watching "The Biggest Loser"?

(Now, I don't want to get any rude emails telling me that I shouldn't be using bribery to get my kids to do their homework. Bribery is such an ugly word. I prefer using the word "incentive" Instead of it being a situation where I say "'I'll give this to you if you do your homework" It's more "When you finish your homework, you may have this" See, it's totally different)

Today, Max asked me which finger he should use to put inside his nose. I told him he shouldn't put any of them in his nose, but eventually, we settled on his pinky finger.

Hey, I just realized that it's Wednesday!

Word Verification Wednesday!

I'm not going to explain how to play. Ask the other contestants.

(OK, look at the word verification code, and create a definition for it in the comments. Refresh the page as many times as you want)
(And remember, the only way you can lose this game is to not play)
(come on people, it's like a service project. You give me a funny or well thought out definition, and I laugh, thus causing me to forget the stabbing pain in my tooth)

And to my new lurker from Portland Maine.
I'll give you a nickel if you leave a comment.

I only had three hours of sleep last night, can you tell?


The Boob Nazi said...

I've been taking ibuprofen for YEARS, (like 10, since I was diagnosed with TMJ) and I mean tons of pills a day, and I haven't died yet.... So I'm thinking it's okay!

Capto- a toe with a large blister on it. (I'm so unoriginal)

LisAway said...

Nursing pads are good for LOTS of things.

And that's not bribery, that's rewarding good behavior and EVERY child development expert will tell you that you should reward good behavior. And that kids need cookies. And that their mom's do even more.

Alison Wonderland said...

There's a fine line between bribing and incentivinzing. I think you're still ok.

I love that I'm not the only one who eats total crap while watching BL!

diesisto- the loss of life due to the discontinuance of a certain action. In Mexico.

nhsmith55 said...

I started reading your blog the last time you had Word Verification Day. I've been waiting and waiting for you to do it again. It was so funny I had tears running down my cheeks! And now here it is and I get phiststu.
Which is the past tense of putting fish in your stew! Oh well.
(Yes I can tell that you got 3 hours sleep. You sound just like I did yesterday.)

Staci K. said...

I practically lived on ibuprofen for a month afer giving birth to my first child and I still have the apporpirate number of arms...although I do now have 6 toes on one foot...

Word verification:

I got flobe. I am pretty sure this was that invention that came out in the late 80's that was an attachment to your vacuum cleaner that you could use to give yourself a haircut. Or was that a flow-bee?

Staci K. said...

The ibuprofen also seemed to affect my spelling / typing ablilites!

Ebegermi - pronounced "ebi-germy". This decsribes the condition of most public toilets. "Don't sit on the seat, it's ebigermy!"

Jo said...

It is true, I am sure if I grew a third arm, it would be a left one.
cascha: A dance you do so people will put money down your clothes. Not that I know anything about that, I don't, I just watch CSI:Vegas.

InkMom said...

I don't think you'd grow an extra arm, but you might need a liver transplant! Which wouldn't be nearly as fun to turn into some twisted grown-up version of "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie".

And also, I don't think it's bribery unless you're trying to get them to do something bad, like, hey, kids I'll give you a cookie if you OD on this ibuprofen . . . but for homework? Total positive reinforcement and not bribery at all!

cloche: this is a real word, and not that interesting.

Next try --

endsmana: the beauty of being finished, the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, the sigh of relief we give when something is finally over.

Jillene said...

Sorry about the teeth. Have you considered a sinus infection? This same thing happened to my cousin and it turned out that she has a very severe sinus infection (she didn't feel sick) and had to be hospitalized for IV antibiotics. Just a thought.

WV-photo. Uuuummmm--pretty self explanitory don't ya think?!

Annette Lyon said...

With my chronic headaches and the way I down Ibuprofen, I probably have no stomach lining left whatsoever.

synos--somethng so bad and sinful that it's also a no-no.

utmomof 5 said...

First of all it may be your sinuses that are making you teeth hurt! I have been to the dentist before thinking it was my teeth adn then realized my sinuses where the problem.

parch -- I really need a drink. I am very parch.

Super lame I am well aware :)

Kristina P. said...

Sometimes, I get phantom tooth pains. Sometimes, I also get tooth pains because I eat too many chocolate chip cookies and don't floss as well as I should.

Valerie said...

hantur - redneck for haute couture. As in "my outfit ain't weird, it's hantur".

I've missed word verification wednesday!

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

Veron- one of thos wacky Utah names for a boy. "Mom's name is Vera, Dad is Ron. So, of course, we're naming him VeRon."

The Littlest Hillbilly: said...

Inessess - Max speak for business as in "It is also none of your inessess."

Bonnie the Boss said...

I left you a really cool long comment, and then word verification messed me up and it is lost in cyber space! So bummed. I can't remember it all.

Jen said...

This post reminded me of my brain. Maybe Oprah could solve your tooth problem.

cramiler: a person who squishes lots of things into her closet and also runs a mile every day.

Maraiya said...

I would have gone for the thumb - Max can only get it so far up there.

And I do think the third-arm would be a win/win - you could get everything AND makes loads of money selling the photos to People!

My WV - yeah, can't come up with anything good. Maybe I'll try again later but WAY to GO! (Connecting that today is Wednesday and throwing in the WV Game! I forget to connect dots all the time.)

Maraiya said...

And may I say that I'm jealous of your lurker? Someday I'll have a lurker....someday.

Amanda said...

Ratophy: When a Rat loses its muscle tone..

Debbi said...

hahaha. Word Verification:
befermag- it's not quite affermag, but befer.

Melissa said...

Not a thing wrong with bribery. Seriously, NOTHING WRONG. You can call it incentive if you want, but let's face it, bribery is bribery.

Debbi said...

(oh, and because I'm tangent like this)

I used 'bribery' to potty-train ALL three of my own kids, 2 of my sister's, and 2 dayhome kids. I didn't 'bribe' them either. I rewarded them. I'm all FOR rewarding good behaviour! ;)

(oh, and now that I've left 2 comments, I have to WV twice.
Tulingal: someone who talks excessively!)

C.J. said...

rated- Wow. A real word.

Anonymous said...

surgor- my favorite cookies are surgor cookies

Vern said...

my word: "theakin", as in "theakin my tooth is killing me and so I need more ibuprofen."

Now, do I get a cookie?

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I've used bribery so much it barely works anymore.

I was thinking sinus pain might be your problem also, but your dentist would have thought of that. Is it only the top teeth? All the teeth? Details, girl, details!

Sleep deprivation did cross my mind. But on you, it looks good.

Aunty Em said...

Incentive is such a lovely word. Where would mothers be without it?

WV - pariti, the italian accent word for party in english.

in time out said...

LOVE wvw....i have gotten some good ones lately.

pullllees: my kids, when they are begging.

Don Mills Diva said...

A nickel eh?

I would have left one for free!

Shelley said...

I just clicked over here from...somewhere, and I wanted to tell you that you're hilarious. And whoever said that bribing children was wrong clearly never had children. Also, just to let you know, I have been taking lots of ibuprofen forever, because car accident/neck injury/early onset arthritis, blah blah. In any case, I don't have a third arm. Yet. Although I could probably use one.

(Ok, really? I was going to play the word verification game, but my word is... ingnina? I don't even want to go there. I'll come back and play next week.)

Manic Mommy said...

If the makers of Advil were really worried about us taking them for more than five days in a row, why would they make the 850 bottle?

Vabur - The odor cloud emitted after using Vicks Vaporub

planetnomad said...

DARN! I hate my connection. It lost my comment and my clever definition. And my new word is metted: What happens when you spill cough syrup on a woven place mat and it turns to a gooey mess.

And I also said in a concise, simple, non rambling sort of way that your tooth pain could be knots in your shoulder and tension in your jaw. I carry stress there. Once I seriously thought I needed a root canal, but all I needed was a lot more sleep and a lot less stress. That was a happy day.

MarvelousThing said...

I love your blog. Now I know where to come when I need to laugh (because I can totally relate to the gormet naked iron chef mom!)

p.s. My teeth were hurting alot and it turned out to be sinus pressure from allergies. Try Sudafed. (though where I am from, you can only get it in limited quantities because aparently kids can make METH with it.)

ed said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.