My most favorite Max quote ever............I think

Yesterday Max climbed up next to me on the couch and started kissing my face. He gave me a bunch of really fast kisses.
I asked him why he was giving me so many kisses and he said......

"Because I love you SO, SO, SO, SO MUCH!.............today."

Multi tasking?

Today I had the extreme pleasure of watching my teenage son try to unload the dishwasher while continuing to play a game on the playstation with the wireless controller.

Let's just say that neither the game or the dishes turned out very well.

Message to my children..........

OK kids, press pause or turn of the video game, do the dishes, finish the homework, use the restroom THEN play the video games

This may very well be the most confusing post that I've ever written

HELP ME!
1) My children* are awake too late and now they're making fun of my inability to converse coherently with them at this late hour.
However, I will say that it is pretty nifty how they are able to interpret my odd hand movements to understand the words that I can't think of such as sandwich bag and refrigerator drawer. (must be seen to be fully appreciated)

2) Today it was my responsibility to bring sauce to go on the chicken Cordon Bleu for the Cub Scout's annual Blue and Gold banquet. This thing was going to be HUGE because 75 scouts, their parents and all the leaders were invited.
I made enough sauce to fill TWO crockpots clear to the rim. One other mom brought the same amount. As I was making the sauce, I thought "This is a lot of sauce" As I was very carefully carrying in the very warm crockpots filled to the brim with sauce and trying not to trip** on anything before I got to the table, I was thinking "This is a lot of sauce"
Loads of people showed up to this event and much food was eaten (this was a scouting event, these boys love to eat!)
Guess what, I was right, it was a lot of sauce, so much, in fact, that I brought home about half of what I made.
I have approximately 96 ounces of cream of chicken soup, sour cream with water and a dash of lemon juice mixture.
What on earth should I make with the remaining sauce/soup?

I thought about making funeral potatoes*** out of some of it (they also sent some left over baked potatoes home with us) but I'm out of corn flakes.
I just know that if I make multiple chicken and vegetable casseroles that we're going to get mighty tired of the sauce.
Can you think of any creative ideas to use these ingredients?

We have a lot of sauce.

3) One of the kids finished off the last of the spreadable butter, so now I have to go to Wal Mart**** tomorrow to buy some more.
I realize that this isn't really a problem that anyone can help me with, but I just needed to whine about it a little.


*Just the oldest two, one stayed up to watch the Olympics, and the other has spent the evening trying to coax back to life an old computer given to him by one of our kind neighbors earlier today.
**I have to admit that as I was carrying the two very heavy crockpots into the church (one at a time) while I was very worried about tripping or dropping the crockpot, I was also thinking "Wouldn't this make a funny blog post if I did fall flat on my face, spilling sauce everywhere?"
***If you've never heard of funeral potatoes, they're made with the above mentioned sauce, shredded cheddar cheese, diced potatoes all topped with corn flakes. Seriously, you can't forget the corn flakes, they're the best part!
They are called funeral potatoes,***** because they are commonly served at after-funeral luncheons in these parts, along with ham and jello salad.
****Not my favorite place to go, especially since I discovered the people of Wal mart website,****** and now I have to pay special attention to my appearance, lest I end up being publically humiliated when my photo ends up on their site. I am very sad that shopping in sweats is no longer an option for me.
*****They might also be called funeral potatoes because some variations of the recipe are so full of fat that if you eat enough of them, they will clog your arteries and you will die, and ironically, these potatoes will be served at your funeral. (they are rather tasty!)
******Have you been to this website? I never imagined that so many men went to the Mart of Wal dressed as women.

Dilemma solved?

Yesterday I posted a question about wearing brown shoes with navy blue pants.
In counting up the comments, the "yes, it's OK" vote and the "absolutely NO" vote were neck in neck. The "I don't know/care/have a clue/just wear slippers all the time" vote was much higher than the other choices.

So I have finally come to the conclusion of what I must do to solve this dilemma myself.

Buy new shoes.

Yes, I think the only way to solve this is to buy a pair of shoes specifically to match these pants. Of course, if I buy new shoes, then I'll probably need to get a new purse to match. I need a new purse anyway, so this shouldn't really be that big of a deal.

However, if I have a new purse and shoes, then I should probably get a nice haircut, and since I'll already be at the hairdresser, I should just go ahead and get some highlights too.

But then, with my new shoes, purse and fancy hairdo, I should probably get a manicure.

If I get a mani, then I MUST get a pedi, because the toes need to match the fingers.

Now here's a new dilemma, my new shoes won't show off my dressed up toes, so now I'll need to buy some new sandals so I can see them. Seriously, what's the point of having a pedicure if you can't see your feet?

Unfortunately, it's still too cold here to wear sandals.

I'll need to go someplace warmer.

Hawaii? Bahamas? Caribbean?

If I'm going one of those places, I'll need to get a new swimming suit and sunglasses too.
Oh, and I'll want to take my husband with me, so now I'll need to find someone to stay with the kids.

Since the kids won't be coming with us, I'll end up buying a bunch of souvenirs for them and for me too..............................





I've suddenly decided that I really can't afford to have my shoes match my pants.

Fabulous or fashion faux pas?

Brown shoes with navy blue pants?



Please discuss.

Back pain explained

Last week as we were walking into the store, Max would stop, put his feet together then jump over the crack in the sidewalk. He did this over every. Single. Crack.
It was kind of cute, but then he did it again when we walked out of the store.
As we were walking along, he said "See mom, I'm being really careful not to step on the cracks so your back doesn't break!" I thanked him for being so considerate then he looked at me with a gleam in his eye, giggled, then went ahead and stepped on a crack.
This morning I was walking across the kitchen floor when Max starts yelling "NO MOM! Don't step on the cracks, or grandma's back will get hurted!" then he proceeded to tiptoe his way over the 12" square tiles on the kitchen floor.
I spent the better part of the next 30 minutes explaining to him the difference between cracks and grout lines.

My 15 seconds of fame

Just going to take a minute to toot my own horn.

Have you seen this commercial?

I made the dress that the skater is wearing. ( :29 and :36)



It's been so fun to see this on TV!

Purple teeth and ............."other" purple stuff

Max is very serious about his dental hygiene. Especially since one of the kids told him that if he didn't brush his teeth that they would turn yellow, and if he still didn't brush them they would turn green and if he still didn't brush them they would turn black and fall out of his head.

Like he really needed one more thing to stress over.

For the last few weeks, all the kids needed to do to get Max to leave the room was to say "Hey Max, your teeth are looking a little bit green, have you brushed them recently?" And Max would run to the bathroom screaming "THEY'RE GREEN! MY TEETH ARE GREEN! I NEED TO BRUSH THEM RIGHT NOW BEFORE THEY TURN BLACK AND FALL OUT OF MY HEAD!!"

The only problem with Max's teeth brushing (or is it tooth brushing? I'm not sure which it should be. Pretend I got it right OK?) is that he is unable to use toothpaste. He just can't seem to brush his teeth without swallowing the toothpaste. I have tried on many occasions to teach him how to brush and spit out the toothpaste, but this is how it usually goes.

Me: "OK, I'm just going to put a little bit of toothpaste on the brush. Brush your teeth then spit out the paste."

Max: (brush...brush...brush.....)

Me: "OK Max, time to spit, lean over the sink and spit out the toothpaste."

Max: (GULP.....spit)

We've tried this multiple times, and it always ends up the same, so he just doesn't use the toothpaste.

This morning, Brielle, Aaron and Max had their check up at the dentist. Max was beside himself with excitement. He set out his clothes before he went to sleep so that he could be ready on time.

About 10 minutes before my alarm went off this morning, I woke up to Max poking my arm. I opened one eye and told him to go get dressed, thinking that I could buy myself another ten minutes of sleep, but no such luck, he was already dressed and ready to go to the dentist.

So I sent him downstairs to wake up the other kids :0)

When we got to the dentist, we learned that Max's teeth are perfect, however, Brielle and Aaron's teeth.............

Did I mention that Max's teeth are perfect?

Let's just say that Aaron is no longer allowed to eat Milk Duds.

As we left the dentist's office, they had a large jar of disclosing tablets (those fun little tablets that stick to the plaque on your teeth and turn it purple so that you can see how well you are brushing) with a sign that said to take them home and try them. Aaron grabbed a few and brought them home.

Max could hardly wait to try the tablets. We told him that if he would eat ALL of his dinner, there would be more stuff on his teeth to turn purple. (just one more tactic that we have used in an effort to get him to eat)

After dinner, Aaron and Max disappeared into the bathroom to turn their teeth purple.

A few minutes later I heard Aaron saying "Did you swallow the tablet? Max, did you swallow it? Try to spit out the tablet, did you swallow it? You weren't supposed to do that!"

I went in to see what was going on, and found Max standing next to the sink, frowning, mouth closed tightly with purple oozing from his mouth.

Aaron said "Mom, I think he swallowed the tablet, and there was a sign on the jar that said that you weren't supposed to swallow them!"

Max was then unsuccessfully trying to spit in the sink, he kept going GULP....spit, GULP.....spit.

He just didn't get it.

I asked him what happened to the tablet and he said "I swawwowed it."

I immediately went and googled "disclosing tablets" to see what was going to happen to my little boy.

The first thing I learned was that they weren't recommended for children under age six because they might swallow the tablets.

Really?

As it turns out, the tablets aren't toxic, they will just travel through his body and possibly dye stuff purple along the way.

However, there might be an ingredient in them that is sometimes used as a baby laxative. The site where I found this information basically said that the tablets were harmless, but you should stay home near the bathroom.

Did I mention that it dyes things purple?????

I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.

For the three people who are still reading my blog.....MAX QUOTES!

Max has a small American flag which he keeps in his room. We have taught him that it shouldn't be allowed to touch the floor because that would not be showing respect to the flag.
Several days ago, Max insisted on being carried everywhere. "Mom, carry me!" "Dad carry me!" "CJ, carry me!"
I said "Max, you're almost five years old, why do you think that we should carry you everywhere?"
"Because if my feet touch the ground, it would be disrespectful!"

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"If someone was on space without a space suit, then they would fall and see the ghost of Christmas presents."

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"Everything I hear and everything I see gets stuck in my brain."

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"Can you hear my heart? It's beepin' fast!"

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"I'll think about it with my brain because my brain knows everything."