Thursday, May 20, 2010

Max and the big, sweaty guy

Tonight we went to a wedding reception for the son of a neighbor.
As we waited in the incredibly long line to greet the happy couple, we heard rumors of ice cream as refreshments.
The children were elated..........except for Max. He doesn't like ice cream, because apparently, it's too cold.
After we made our way through the reception line, the kids made a mad dash to the ice cream table.
I will say that we were not disappointed :0)
Chocolate dipped waffle bowls, brownies, caramel, chocolate and marshmallow topping (which I need to say was like creamy clouds made of sugar, sent down from heaven to rest upon my ice cream) various fresh fruits, crushed candy bars, chopped nuts, sprinkles and pink m&ms adorned the table.
Max still insisted that he didn't want ice cream, however, once he saw the brownies, he got very excited.
"I want a brownie! I want a brownie!" He jumped up and down until he got his hands on the plate with the brownie.

Then he saw the ice cream.

The lady serving the ice cream asked him if she could put some on his plate. He hesitated until Brielle said "You know, Max, the ice cream has been sitting out for a while and it's melted a little bit, so it won't be super cold."
This was all it took to convince him and he eagerly handed his plate to the lady who put a Max sized scoop..............

right on top of his brownie.

I knew that this would be trouble, especially with the whole "my food can't be touching, even a little bit" phase that he's been going through lately.

Surprisingly, Max didn't even flinch, and we walked outside to a table in the garden area of the reception center.

We sat down and slid Max's chair up to the table. He picked up his spoon and then it started.

"Hey. I didn't want the ice cream on top of the brownie."

He was uncharacteristically calm about the whole situation. I suggested that we just scoop the ice cream off of the brownie, and he happily agreed.

Then he looked at the brownie.

"Hey, there's still some ice cream on top. I don't want it there."

The already soft ice cream had melted a bit and left a puddle on top of the brownie. I scraped it off the best I could, but there was still some ice cream residue remaining.

My husband said "It's just the same as when you dunk your cookies in milk before you eat them. Go ahead and eat it, it'll taste good."

Max eyed the brownie suspiciously. "I dunk cookies in milk not brownies." Then he picked up his spoon and looked over the entire brownie, trying to find a place to dig in.

Again, I was a bit confused by his calm demeanor.

He finally looked up at me and said "Can I just pick it up with my hand and eat it?"
I told him that would be fine, so he picked up the brownie and "HEY THERE'S ICE CREAM ON THE BOTTOM OF MY BROWNIE!"

Yes, I knew we were headed for a meltdown, and it happened. I took the brownie, looked at the bottom of it, and sure enough, the bottom corner had some ice cream soaked into it. I turned the brownie around and handed it back to him. "Here buddy, just eat the other side, OK?"
He must have been really hungry because he did just that, and finished off the entire brownie, ice cream sludge and all.
I returned to my ice cream (remember, little clouds of marshmallow heaven mixed with chocolate sauce and crushed candy bars........) when Max looked at the melting scoop of ice cream on his plate.
"I don't want to eat this. Do I have to eat this?" he asked.
Almost as if they had rehearsed it, Brielle and Aaron said in unison "I'LL EAT HIS ICE CREAM"
He slid the plate over to them and they proceeded to attack the scoop seeing who could get the most of it first.
I leaned over to my husband and said "Apparently, I haven't actually fed them for like a week." (sidenote, I have fed them for the last week, I just haven't fed them ice cream)
As soon as Aaron finished of the bigger portion of the scoop, he started to shiver. It seems that the combination of eating his ice cream and Max's ice cream, plus being outside in the shade made him shiver uncontrollably.

Teeth were chattering.

This was really strange, because Aaron isn't usually a kid that gets cold easily. He's always the first one to declare that "Sure it's snowing outside, but it's really not that cold, I'm pretty sure I don't need a coat."
Brielle made some comment about how strange it was that he was cold because he's usually kind of sweaty, and then it happened. Max started singing.......

"He's big, he's sweaty, he's a guy, he's big sweaty guy!!"

We all looked at him, because this was kind of random. He must have enjoyed the attention because he sang it again.

"He's big, he's sweaty, he's a guy, he's big sweaty guy!!

This time we laughed, so you guessed it, he continued with his song, only louder.


Then again.


So by now, people are staring. (You know, you'd think I'd be used to this by now.......)

At this point, we just picked him up and hauled him out to the car and we went home.

The problem is that now, I can't get the stupid song out of my head, so here it is, for your listening pleasure (or torture, you decide) Bill Nye and the Sweaty Guy song.

Is it just me, or does big, sweaty guy look a lot like an old version of Mario Lopez?


rocslinger said...

Yes, he does look like Mario.

Kristina P. said...

You just had to bring Mario into this, didn't you? I was having a nice, quiet morning, and now, I have to think about MARIO LOPEZ!!! (Shaking fist to the sky!)

rychelle said...

i have this mental image of max tucked under your arm, singing big, sweaty guy as you all dash out of the reception to your car.
it's making me chuckle.
i needed that today.

utmomof 5 said...

I am choosing not to watch the video because I don't want any song stuck in my head :) And now I want some ice cream -- it is 9:25, is that too early for some?

M-Cat said...

"some people think I have a nice mass"

Favorite line! And we need to get Max out more with brownies, ice cream and all the fixins!

Anonymous said...

Here's a scene that happens in our house fairly often:

Dean goes to put whatever sort of sauce we're having on a child's rice or noodles. I say, "Don't put it on top."
"But I want her to try it. It tastes better with the sauce."
"It has the same nutrition on the side. She won't eat if it's on top."

Sometimes I catch him in time and persuade him; other times I'm not fast enough and the sauce gets put on top. And then the kid wails about how her rice got contaminated and she won't eat it.

You'd think we'd only have to have this conversation once, but, no.

Cheeseboy said...

That song is mildly disturbing. Good thing Bill Nye is singing it, because he is not creepy at all.. except that he is.

Omgirl said...

Oh my word. The drama kids can create over not having their food (their dessert, no less!) EXACTLY the way they want it. I'm glad he didn't melt down over it.

Jessica G. said...

Now every time I eat a brownie, I'm going to think of Big Sweaty Guy. And I eat a lot of brownies.

rocslinger said...

Before my wife and I had a child we used to be, sooo like, Can't you keep your child under control. Yeah, than we had a child, a stuborn one no less, she gets it from her mom of course.

Jen said...

Thanks, now Grace is singing that song, too. It must be instinctively good for small children.

mommeeof9 said...

That sounds like something my Mary (18) would have done when she was younger. I think it is partly from her mild autism, but also just because she is a creature of habit. We had to really challenge her with small things, different color cup, sit in a different seat, etc, or she got so rigid in her thought process that she would get extremely upset if the routine got changed. The mantra recently has been, "Is it a big deal (someone hurt or property damage done) or a little deal, (coloring on the wall, spilling drinks, whatever)". She seems to resppond to that better than "Mary, chill". :)

Word verification cadjunce- cadets in a louisiana military school.

Barbaloot said...

Ah-any post that goes back to Bill Nye the Science Guy is brilliant!

Totally get the food not touching thing---except ice cream is allowed to touch brownies for sure.

And how come the receptions I go to never have ice cream buffets? Jealous.

annie valentine said...

Um, Rex wouldn't touch his strawberry shortcake last night because the strawberry was touching the whip cream and the cake. Cause those things all suck when you put them together.

I have years of this to look forward to, don't I?