3. When updating your status, be sure to be as cryptic as possible. The less that your friends understand your status update, the more likely they are to leave multiple comments, and text you to see what's going on.
Remember, it's all about the attention you can get.
4. It is required that you have frequent conversations on FB with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Be as sickeningly sweet as possible. For example:
Your status: (Insert name) Loves her/his sweetheart XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
comment: (Insert name of BF/GF) I love u 2!!
you: cant wate 2 c u!
comment: (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) kiss kiss kiss!!!
5. Be sure to keep up with your relationship status on an hourly basis, going from "single" to "in a relationship" to "it's complicated" to back to "in a relationship" and back to "single" multiple times a day."
6. At least once a week, post about how much you hate your life, so your friends will comment on how great you are.
7. Friends. Remember, the goal of Facebook is to collect as many friends as possible. It doesn't matter if you really know the people on your friends list, it's the number that matters. The more the better.
Besides, with all of the personal information that you are posting, don't you want as many people as possible to know about it?
8. Quizzes and videos, link to as many as possible! (Virusus, shmirusus, clicking on random links has never been absolutely proven to cause a virus to infect your computer)
9. Be sure to let everyone know where you are and where you are going at all times!
10. Spelling. It doesn't really matter how you spell stuff. Words such at "their, they're and there are all very interchangeable.
11. It's quite acceptable to have private conversations with your friends on Facebook. Remember, even though whatever you write is posted to your wall, it doesn't always mean that the person from school that you are talking about will ever see it, right?
Good luck young teenager! Also remember to post and tag the most embarrassing pictures of your friends that you can find!!
(I'm pretty sure that college admittance committees, future employers and parents will never see anything you have posted on Facebook)