Sunday, December 23, 2007

Christmas cooking with the Little Red Hen

Once upon a time there was a Little Red Hen. She lived with her Hunky Rooster Husband and her four darling little chickadees.
One day the Little Red Hen realized that Christmas was only two days away, and she asked her little chickadees if they thought it would be a good idea to make Christmas goodies to take to the neighboring farm animals. They all agreed that it would be a lovely thing to do, and so she asked them who wanted to help her make the goodies.
"I do!" said chick #1.
"I do!" said chick #2.
"I do!" said chick #3.
"I go pway wif cars" said chick #4 because, well, he's only two and wouldn't really be much help anyway.
So the Little Red Hen made some cookie dough and said "Who will help me roll out the cookies?"
Chick # 1 -"Not I"
Chick #3 - "Not I'
Chick #2 - "OK"
But apparently chick # 2 has a short attention span and she soon wandered off downstairs to play the Playstation with her brothers.
So the Little Red Hen made the cookies herself. She rolled out the dough, cut out the cookies, and baked them. She even went so far as to decorate them with m&ms and sugar sprinkles.
Then the Little Red Hen said "Who will help me make the fudge?"
"Not I" said Chick #1.
"Not I" said chick #2.
"Not I said chick #3.
"Watch yaiying a'keen" said chick #4. (That would be LIghtning McQueen from the movie "Cars")
So the Little Red Hen made the fudge all by herself. She measured the the ingredients, and stood over the boiling mixture until it was done cooking, and poured it into a pre greased pan. It smelled delicious.
"Who would like to help me make the pecan tarts?" asked the Little Red Hen?
"Hey, Chick #1 just made it to level 5!" yelled chick #3.
"Hooray!" said chick #2.
The Hunky Rooster was snoring on the couch, and Chick # 4 was busy moving all of the refrigerator magnets to the dishwasher and back to the fridge.
So the Little Red Hen made the pecan tarts all by herself. She made the dough for the crusts, and molded them into the tiny muffin pans. She chopped the pecans and made the filling. She baked them in a 350 degree oven for 20-25 minutes.
The aroma was heavenly.
Next the Little Red Hen was about to ask if anyone would want to help her make another batch of fudge when she heard the sound of racing cars coming from the direction of the playstation. She was annoyed, and didn't even bother asking.
She decided to make a batch of white chocolate fudge this time because it was such a hit at the Christmas party last year. She put almond flavoring in it and poured it into another pre greased pan, but alas, she had not cooked it long enough, and it didn't set up. It was soft, and very sticky.
The Little Red hen thought for a moment, and had a great idea. She scooped the soft fudge into balls, rolled them in chopped nuts and put them in little paper candy cups.
The fudge smelled so good, that the Little Red Hen ate a bunch of it. So much in fact, that she began to feel sick to her stomach.
"HEY!" she yelled "Is anybody going to help me dip pretzels?!?!?!?!"
Chick #3 appeared out of nowhere. "I will help" he said, and he proceeded to dip the tiny pretzels in the cocolate that the Little Red Hen had melted.
Before long, the Little Red Hen noticed that chick #3 was eating more pretzles than he was dipping, and the chocolate was going hard, so she finished dipping them herself.
Suddenly, Chick #1 & chick #2 came upstairs & said "Wow! What smells so good? What are you making that for?"
The Little Red Hen shot them a dirty look and said "Who will help me put these goodies on plates, and wrap them with cellophane to give to the neighbors?"
"Do we have to?" asked chick #1
The Little Red hen looked at her brood, her eyes open wide, her teeth clenched, and hissed "YES!!!"
So chickadees #1,2,&3 all grabbed plates, and loaded them full of the lovely goodies that the Little Red Hen had spent the last 6 hours making.
At some point, chick #4 got hold of a piece of fudge. The little chick thought the fudge was delicious. So delicious in fact, that he ate more, and more. He kept stuffing the fudge in his pie hole until the Little Red Hen noticed the melted chocolate all over his hands, and the stream of chocolate drool flowing from his mouth, and dripping all over his new shoes.
Finally, the plates were filled and wrapped.
"Who will help me deliver these fine goodies?" asked the Little Red Hen.
"I will!" said chick #1.
"I will!" said chick #2.
"I will!" said chick #3.
"WANT MORE CHOCKIT!!!!" yelled chick #4.
"Fine" said the Little Red Hen "Then go deliver them."
The chickadees gathered the goodies and went out into the cold night to deliver the fine Christmas goodies to the neighbors.
The little Red Hen poured herself a large glass of Dr. Pepper, took some Motrin, and then sat on the couch with her feet up.
Right at that moment, the sugar kicked in from all of the fudge that chick #4 had eaten, and he began running around the room, jumping on the couch, and screaming "WWHHEEEEEEEEEEEE"
And then the Little Red Hen wrestled chick #4 into his pajamas.
And put him to bed.
When the 3 chickadees returned home, they brought happy Christmas greetings from the neighboring farm animals.
Then the chickadees all said "Dear mother Hen, it has been so much fun making goodies, may we do it again next year?"

13 comments:

JustRandi said...

I just love a good fairy tale heavily dosed in reality.
If you were our neighbor, maybe we'd trade you a goodie plate for a nice gingerbread house.
;0
Merry Christmas!!

Shellie said...

So clever and fun! A fairy tale come true. Merry Christmas!

TC said...

I feel your pain. Because I declared this "Slacker Christmas," the only cookies served in our house were those stupid slice-and-bake things. And do you think I could get anyone else to do the slicing and baking? NO.

Hope you had a happy day with the chicks.

utmomof5 said...

Thanks for the funny story!! My problem is my kids want to help a little too much!! I think I may have a chef on my hands with one of mine! I wish I was your neighbor so I could have some yummy goodies, I think I will go traid the treats for breakfast =)

Christina

Heidi said...

It's like you were sitting in my kitchen, transcribing my conversation with my children.

Especially the part about the sugar hitting your two-year old. Man, that stuff is POTENT!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I may or may not be the one who gorged herself sick on frosted anise cookies.....not many made it out of my house alive and intact to go to my mom's Christmas party.

Jen said...

I was hoping the ending would be, "So the Little Red Hen said, "Then I will eat them myself," and she did."

Excellent post.

Jill said...

Jen,
That's probably how I should have ended the story, because there was quite a bit of fudge left over, and I ate most of it.
Jill

Pappy Yokum said...

Very good twist to an old favorite. I'll trade you some of our homemade peanut brittle for some of your pecan tarts - oh, the only problem is we live in Montana so unless your close, that may be hard.

btw - first time to your blog and I got a kick out of it.

Dawn said...

I love this story and how you told it. I will read it to my 8 y.o. daughter tomorrow; she'll think it's funny. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Amanda said...

Loved your story! :D I too wish I was your neighbor. ;)

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Yours is so much fun, I'll be back.

Amanda said...

Oh, I forgot to say Happy Anniversary!!! :)

Damama T said...

FUNNY LADY!! Now I see why you wouldn't worry about 70 calories from licking envelopes! xoxoxo