Thursday, December 13, 2007

Teeth, floods flying trophies & vacuums

O.K., So I went to the dentist yesterday, and after an hour of x-rays, putting ice on my teeth, and whacking them with a metal thing, he came to the conclusion that they can't find anything wrong with me.
ME: "OK,then what could be causing this stabbing pain in the side of my face?"
Mr. Dentist: "Well it's possible that you could have a micro-fracture that won't show up in the x-ray, the beginning of an abcess or something like that. If it gets any worse, call me."
He did give me a prescription for some pain pills before I left. They worked really well, as soon as I paid for them at the pharmacy, my tooth stopped hurting.
Yesterday, I read someones blog, who was complaining that some blogs are not funny, and we need to try harder.
Today I will try harder.
I will write about my 7 year old son, Aaron.
This is one of those kids that looks at things differently from the rest of us. He thinks "outside of the box" WAAAAY outside of the box.
When he was younger, he had a fascination with water. He loved to see how it would flow across the many surfaces of our house. He once managed to flood both of our bathrooms at the same time. (And before anyone asks why I wasn't watching him closer, it was because I was sitting on the couch watching soaps and eating bon bons:P )
When Aaron was almost 3, I woke up one morning to the sound of his older brother yelling "NO Aaron, that's BAD!!!"
I went downstairs to find that Aaron had removed the hose from the vacuum cleaner, and hooked it onto the faucett in the bathroom. He had created a "Fire hose" and had managed to flood the bathroom without wasting that all that time filling the sink with water.
I once walked into the kitchen to see him standing on top of the kitchen table pouring an entire gallon of milk directly on the top of the table, watching it flow over the edge of the table and onto the floor. (again, I was watching soaps & eating bon bons)
When he was almost 2, we woke up at 2:00 am because my daughter was screaming at the top of her lungs. We ran into her room (which she shared with Aaron) and Aaron was standing on top of the dresser next to her bed, completely naked, throwing trophies at her. Apparently he has a great aim, because he hit her every time.
We got him dressed, calmed Brielle down, put them back to bed, and went back to sleep. An hour later, he did it again.
Age 3, our pediatrician wanted to have a blood test done for Aaron. It took 4 of us to hold him down because he was screaming so hard. After they drew his blood, he wouldn't stop screaming. The nurses and receptionists tried everything. They actually gave him a toy from the waiting room, and one lady offered him candy from a bowl she had in her desk drawer, not only did he take a handful of candy, he insisted that she give him the package of microwave popcorn that was sitting next to it. He still didn't stop screaming. I picked him up and hauled him out of there, and as soon as he got on the elevator, and the doors closed, he immediately stopped crying, looked up at me with a very serious face and said "You know, it didn't really hurt that bad."
Aaron also has quite a way with words. We have what we refer to as the "A.Q.O.D.".
Aaron Quote Of the Day.
Here are a few of my favorites:
"Mom, when C.J. is 100 years old, will Dad be dead?"
"I'm stronger than a big pile of beef"
"Your tongue is like a little hand in your mouth that moves your food to the right
teeth to chew it."
"Crunchy peanut butter tastes the same as regular, it just makes your teeth work harder." (Now there's an advertising slogan if I've ever heard one)
"A take 5 candy bar is really good. It has so much stuff in it, that you can hardly taste the peanuts"
"It's better to breathe dirty air than no air at all"
"If it weren't for horses, hay would take over the world."
Aaron is also obsessed with cleaning. His idol is Don Aslett (author of 'Is there life after housework', 'Clean in a minute' and 'Why is it a woman's job to clean')
Aaron says when Mr. Aslett dies, he will take his place as "America's #1 cleaning expert". He is obsessed with Mr. Aslett. He named his build-a-bear after him, and dressed up as him for Halloween. He even did a book report about one of his cleaning books.
Aaron got his own vacuum (a real one) from Santa when he was 4. For the last 2 years, he has used his birthday money to buy mops. He has asked for a new "cooler" mop for Christmas this year. The kid has his own squeege, and is an expert on cleaning windows.
Now before you start getting all jealous of my live-in janitor, I need to mention that he can't seem to pick up any of his clothes off the floor. There is a constant trail of dirty socks and underwear from the bathroom to his room. I think he might be marking his path like Handsel and Gretel did, so he can find his way back.
O.K. enough about Aaron.
We are now going to put up our tree (finally) Hopefully it will help me get rid of some of my grinchiness ;)


utmomof5 said...

The thought of a boy naked on top of a dresser throwing trophies made me laugh out loud!! My hubby had to ask what was so funny!


suburbancorrespondent said...

Okay, the cleaning thing is totally weird. What's a 7-year-old kid doing reading Don Aslett's books anyway?

But I like him, too - very inspiring.

I have one kid who, at 4, did her best to drive us insane. (Check out the Popular Posts in the left-hand column of my blog for details.) But thankfully she seems to have given that up. She practically ruined our entire house.

And thanks for the tip-off about grape popsicles! I know the danger, because we had the floor in our old kitchen replaced and that was ruined pretty quickly. Unfortunately, I need to use my kitchen! The past 3 days of not having it have been really difficult (though it was nice not having to wash dishes).

Sue said...


Those quotes were hilarious, tee hee

Damama T said...

Bug marches to his own drummer, too. He was in high school before I quit finding wet socks by the tub after he'd forgotten to remove them BEFORE taking a shower!

Oh, and I'd foster that cleaning thing... could be what pays for your stylish retirement digs! ;o)