This is Max. I'm three.
My mom was getting all ready to write a really great post, but I just found her asleep on the couch with chocolate on her breath, clutching an empty can of Diet Dr. Pepper, and muttering something about having to wash all of my underwear.........Again.
I just thought that since I love my mom so much, and she seems to need some rest, that I will write on her blog for today.
First of all, there's something I've noticed lately. Even though I'm the shortest person living here, I seem to have an amazing amount of power.
I can get these people to do almost anything...............just by using my potty.
Yeah, I've got this figured out. I have found great pleasure in making my family look silly. For example, say I want these people to sing a ridiculous song such as "He's a super duper pooper" All I need to do is poop. In the potty, that is.
As soon as I've finished doing my business, I yell to my family "I pooped!" or "I pee peed!" or whatever it was that I just did, then everybody comes running into the bathroom, telling me how great I am. I really love seeing my family dance around and sing for me. And if one of my brothers or my sisters aren't singing, my mom makes them sing. Even if they don't like it.
I LOVE that!
Plus, I get gummi bears. Life just doesn't get any better than that, eating gummi bears while my family is making fools out of themselves.
My mom does get a fit frustrated with me sometimes, like when we're at the store, and she wants me to use the potty. True, I do really need to pee, but have you seen the potties at Wal Mart?
They flush themselves.
Hey, I'm just a little kid, if I fell in............
I don't want to think about it. It just freaks me out.
The potty should not flush itself.
It's just not right.
I must be really cool, because everyone here wants to be just like me. All I have to do is say something kind of cute, and pretty soon everyone is saying it.
I started referring to my feet as "feep" and it's really caught on! Except for my big brother CJ. He keeps saying "feet"
Also, a while ago, I started saying "also" in every sentence. Now everyone is saying it!
Apparently, EVERYTHING I say is cute.
I also do this thing in the morning where I will hug the first person I see. This is no ordinary hug, because I squeeze them really tight, and stick my face in their neck.
Every morning, these strange people actually fight over who gets the "morning hug!"
I also love to play with my mom's hair. It's so great to get up in the morning, climb in bed with mom and start playing with her hair. First, I like to rub it between my fingers, then I like to wipe it on my face, especially if I have a runny nose. It's SO great! Next, I like to twist her hair around my hand tighter, and tighter, and tighter.....................it's usually at this point where mom wakes up, and she doesn't look very happy, so I hurry and give her one of those "morning hugs."
She really likes that.
I've found that I can get myself out of pretty much any trouble with that "Morning hug" thing.
These people are crazy.
My family also doesn't understand really important things like straight lines.
STRAIGHT LINES PEOPLE!!
Seriously, I'm the only person around here who gets this!
Everything needs to be placed in nice straight, even rows!
My family says I have OCD. I don't know what that is, but I like to say "I have OCD," because it makes everyone laugh, and I'm all about making people happy.
My family has also taught me how to say things like "Pretty please with sugar on top" and "I'm a stud muffin."
I came up with a variation on these two phrases, and I like to go around telling people that "I'm a stud muffin with sugar on top."
I'm a pretty popular guy around here. Oops, I mean I'm ALSO a pretty popular guy around here.
Then there's this weird thing that's been happening lately. In the afternoon, I sometimes get a little crabby, because people might mess up my perfectly straight line of cars, which will cause me to fall on the floor and start screaming, because SERIOUSLY, people shouldn't mess up things once they have been placed in a proper straight line, and Mom will say "Hey Max, why don't we go for a little ride?"
Now, at this point, by "ride" I'm thinking that Mom is planning on taking me to the park to play, or to Mickey D's for a burger with cheese, or something fun like that, so I eagerly jump in the car, ready for a great adventure, but when we drive away from our house, we never go anywhere, mom just drives, and drives..........................and drives...................and...........
Then the next thing I know, I'm waking up in my bed.
And it's dinnertime.
It's just weird.
Hey, I think my mom just woke up. She's also coming this way.
She also doesn't look happy.
Probably because I'm not allowed on the computer without her here.
I also gotta go.
I also think this looks like a great time for a "morning hug!"