Yes, I knew that "cool mom" title was too good to last.
Today was the last day of the school year for us. (we are on year-round school)
So, being the"cool mom" that I am, decided that when I picked up the kids from school, and after I went to the bank, I would take them to Sonic for shakes.
What kid wouldn't be absolutely THRILLED with this activity?
Yep, you guessed it, one of mine.
"But I don't like their shakes, they're gross! Why can't we just go to McDonald's and get sundaes?"
Now, while that also sounded like a great idea, I was really in the mood for a Sonic shake.
The child says "Why can't we just go to Sonic AND McDonald's?"
That didn't sound like too bad of an idea, and I was just about to say that we could do that, when a second child pipes in and says "I don't want to go there either, why can't we go to Wendy's?"
And another one says "Yeah, we should go there and get hamburgers also. We got out of school before lunch today, and I didn't eat breakfast either, so I'm starving!"
Then the first child says "No, I don't want Wendy's, I want to go to McDonald's and get a parfait!
"NO" says another "I wanted a Sonic shake! We should get burgers at McDonald's, and then go to Sonic for shakes!"
"I don't like Sonic shakes!"
"I don't like McDonald's hamburgers. Mom, can I get chicken nuggets instead?"
"But I want to go to Wendy's!"
"I also wants a seesebugah!" (translation - cheeseburger)
"But they don't have yogurt parfaits at Wendy's"
"So, we should just go get shakes at Sonic!"
"And I also do want a sockwit miwk!" (chocolate milk)
"But I don't like shakes at Sonic!..............."
Meanwhile, I'm sitting in the car at the drive through window of the bank, wondering at what point this all went so terribly wrong.
And I made an announcement.
"I'm thinking that we don't really need to be going anywhere."
I am met with a sudden silence from the back seat.
I continue "but since I'm such a cool mom, we will go to ONE location, and I will decide!"
I know all too well that at that point, I probably should have just gone ahead and driven home with no treat, but I suddenly realized that I was, in fact, quite hungry myself, and was quite in the mood for something yummy. I also noticed a McDonald's that was right next to the very bank from which we were leaving.
"We will be going to McDonald's. Each of you will be given TWO dollars to spend in any way you please!
"No" I reply, "Two dollars. I don't care how you spend it, but that's it!"
That kept the little darlings happy until the two of them that wanted chicken nuggets discovered that they cost 2.95.
Too bad for them.
By the time we left the McDonald's, the kids had decided that I was still "cool mom." I guess filling them with sugar laden, highly processed food will have that effect on children.
Then we got home.
As I walked in the kitchen I realized that all of the things I had asked the children to do the night before, had not been done.
There were still mounds of craft stuff on the kitchen table (homemade end of the year teacher gifts) The dinner dishes were still in the sink, the floor had not been swept, and the kitchen counter had many kid-related, 'shouldn't be sitting on the kitchen counter' sort of things just covering the surface.
And I made another announcement.
"There will be no summer fun until the kitchen gets cleaned up."
I have now gone from "cool mom" status to "Mom, the destroyer of fun!"
Because yes, I really do stay up nights just trying to think of more things I can do to make their lives miserable. It's my job, and I take pride in my work.
Apparently, my main goal in life is to make sure that my children have absolutely no fun.
I stayed quite upbeat, and even tried to make it fun "Come on guys, let's all work on this together" and I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.
After working alone for about ten minutes, I realized that I had been working alone for ten minutes.
Nope. There will not be any fun had in this house this summer.