Thursday, August 14, 2008

Three side effects of potty training

Now that we have a newly "potty trained" (and I use that term loosely) child, I've noticed a few side effects that go along with this whole thing.


#1. We don't go anywhere.

While Max is quite comfortable using the potty at home, we've yet to be successful anywhere else.
Last week, we went to Wal Mart, Sears, and the Rec Center. As soon as we got to each of these places, Max would look up at me with those big, sweet eyes and say "I need to go potty!" We will go into the restroom, Max will stand there for almost 2.3 seconds and then say "I don't need to go potty. I also wash my hands."
Due to the fact that Max won't go potty in public, I end up staying home most of the time. This also works out well for me, because I've decided that I'm not going anywhere until my hair grows out. I also get to do my part to reduce my carbon footprint because I won't be using as much gas in the car. (and besides, if I don't go anywhere, I don't need to shave my legs as often)

#2. More Laundry..............Much, much more laundry.

At first, the laundry increased because I now had an extra 15 pairs of underwear to wash.

(and I have to tell you, there's nothing cuter than the south end of my north bound toddler wearing nothing but a pair of Elmo underwear)

However, when the accident-free honeymoon period of this whole "potty trained" thing came to an end, I found that I was washing those cute little underwear three times as often, along with the pants he was wearing when he had his "accident" and also the shirt he was wearing at that time because...............

"I ALSO NEED TO CHANGE MY SHIRT TOO! I ALSO NEED TO WEAR MY RED SHIRT WITH MY BLUE PANTS! I ALSO DID WEAR MY YAYO SHIRT WIF MY GREEN PANTS! I ALSO NOT NEED TO WEAR MY YAYO SHIRT WIF MY BLUE PANTS! I ALSO NEED TO WEAR MY RED SHIRT!"

So, to make an already too long story short, I just wash everything. I've even stopped separating the lights from the darks.

And please, don't even think about leaving me a nasty helpful comment about not separating the clothes. Yes, I know, I'm a slacker mom because I don't separate my toddlers dark clothes from his underwear. Here are three reasons why this is OK.

A. He's going to be growing out of these clothes pretty soon anyway.

B. His clothes are small, I can get them all into one load in the washing machine. This saves energy and water, which, again, reduces the whole carbon footprint thing.

C. See #1 above. We don't go anywhere so nobody will see his faded colors, or the pink tinge of his Spongebob underwear, because, again, WE NEVER GO ANYWHERE!


#3. Streaking

Since Max ends up making a complete change of clothing, (sometimes several times a day) I have decided that he should dress himself. He is three and a half, and quite capable of putting his clothes on (even if they are inside out and backwards) He will even spend 20 minutes meticulously buttoning all three buttons on his polo shirt, however, most of the time he usually just doesn't feel like dressing himself, and prefers to run around ................."swinging free"
This causes a great deal of concern by his siblings who tell him things like:

"Max! Put some clothes on!"
"Max, please get dressed!"
and
"Hey Max, nobody wants to see THAT!"

But Max doesn't care, because he's three. Today he walked around singing

"Hey! Go put some pants on DUUUUUUUDE!!"

Which, in all honesty, was actually pretty cute the first FORTY OR FIFTY TIMES HE SANG IT, but after that, I started to get a headache and needed to wash down some Motrin with a big Diet Dr. Pepper, and then make some fudge. (I am SO blaming my weight gain on Max's potty training!)

Max is now starting to have quite the fascination with the toilet. Earlier today, we heard him yelling in the bathroom, and when I went in to investigate, I discovered him standing there (without pants) yelling AT the toilet.

"NOT THAT WAY!!! YOU ALSO NEED TO GO FASTER!! NO!!........... NO!!........... NO!!

Apparently, the toilet wasn't flushing fast enough.

{{..........sigh..........}}

I think it probably had something to do with the whole roll toilet paper he had just stuffed in it.

23 comments:

Amber said...

sigh back.

We've been potty training for a week or so now- our third round with this kid. She seems to be 'getting' it this time (crossing fingers and knocking on wood). We have many of the same problems as you- except that she LOVES to go when we're out (not an accident running errands yet) but not so much at home.

Lisa said...

Oh, you get streaking AND singing! Lucky mom. Mmmm, fudge.

Yeah, I need to always have a kid potty training age so I won't have to go anywhere. I'm so lazy like that.

Jo said...

I also think your son has a king complex. He thinks he can make the toilet flush faster? I also love Max stories, they are my favorite. Please tell me he loves the Wild Things books, cause in my head, he is MAX!

Adam and Kristina said...

Jo's comment made me laugh! I can totally picture him as Max in WTWTA (don't you love acronymns?)

So, now that you have done both, are boys or girls easier to potty train, or is it really just dependent on the child?

Melissa said...

Potty training is so much fun! And not to gloat or boast... but I don't EVER HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN! I am content. :)

Heidi said...

Double sigh back. Let's not trade stories about the horror of potty training, as we could be here all day.

Seriously.

Jen said...

Hey, I'm all about minimal leg-shaving. Maybe we'll start staying home more, too.

I hope you are closely related to a very good plumber.

Elizabeth said...

LOL. Ditto here. Snorkie isn't an "also" kid...he likes "one", as in "mommy, I have one poopy diaper".
I always tell him that I'm glad he doesn't have two! We are working on the potty thing...ugh

Busty LaRue said...

You make me laugh so hard sometimes! I don't mean to laugh, because I know how awful loads and loads and loads of laundry is, but I just can't help laughing!

Our 2 year old streaks through the house on a daily basis. For some reason he thinks that he can only get in the bath if he is dressed instead of being naked.

Davis Family said...

People seperate their kids laundry? I didn't know such perfection existed! I gave up on that when...oh wait, I've NEVER done that. Too many little tiny clothes, not enough time. Cram them all in and hope for the best! Good luck with the "potty training" stuff...my little one has started saying "I don't know how the floor got wet, it's not because I went pee in my panties". Uh-huh...right.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Good times! And I never separate my kids' laundry - why would you? At age 6, they each get their own laundry hamper and they throw all their clothes in and they learn to put their clothes in the washer and dryer and take them back upstairs. Who cares about lights and darks?

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

In other words, tell those laundry Nazis to take a hike!

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

(3 comments - won't this chick leave you alone?)

Heads up! I talked about you in my post tonight.

Sue said...
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Sue said...

I'm a firm believer in potty training naked. Also, in making my husband do the laundry ;>

Maraiya said...

ROFL! I'm sorry but your pain makes for very humorous copy.

I, once upon a time, had many fabulous anecdotes about potty training but sadly, cough, those days are behind us.

Good luck darling. (And BTW, I've been known to through in all sorts of things together in the wash when such incidents occur.)

Maraiya said...

Also, your Max stories are fabulous! I hope he appreciates all the work you are doing to pave the way for his future career. "Oh, your that Max! We love you. HUGE fans! Here, you should be our CEO. We also believe you can do great things since you were also able to make a toilet flush faster at the young age of 3. Brilliant."

What a good mom you are!

MamaHenClucks said...

I snuck over from suberbancorrospondant and I'm so glad I did! You made me laugh out loud. I won't address the laundry sorting issue :) but oh the days of potty training - I do NOT miss them at all! Three has got to be the cutest age for the things that kids say and do.

b. said...

When Max is actually DONE with the potty training...send him over. I need a good laugh!
The kid is also hilarious!

Roll'in with the Rowley's said...

LOL! Great post. I remember thoes days. Here is the trick for public restrooms. You go first! and try to avoid the ones that flush themselves that set Brikelle back a few days after she experienced one.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I also hate it when the toilet is slow. I also don't like it when the toilet doesn't listen and overflows because of the whole roll of TP in it. I also liked Max's song. I also would need diet coke and chocolate after the 50th time. I also laughed at this post! You are awesome.

ed said...
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ed said...
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