Three side effects of potty training

Now that we have a newly "potty trained" (and I use that term loosely) child, I've noticed a few side effects that go along with this whole thing.


#1. We don't go anywhere.

While Max is quite comfortable using the potty at home, we've yet to be successful anywhere else.
Last week, we went to Wal Mart, Sears, and the Rec Center. As soon as we got to each of these places, Max would look up at me with those big, sweet eyes and say "I need to go potty!" We will go into the restroom, Max will stand there for almost 2.3 seconds and then say "I don't need to go potty. I also wash my hands."
Due to the fact that Max won't go potty in public, I end up staying home most of the time. This also works out well for me, because I've decided that I'm not going anywhere until my hair grows out. I also get to do my part to reduce my carbon footprint because I won't be using as much gas in the car. (and besides, if I don't go anywhere, I don't need to shave my legs as often)

#2. More Laundry..............Much, much more laundry.

At first, the laundry increased because I now had an extra 15 pairs of underwear to wash.

(and I have to tell you, there's nothing cuter than the south end of my north bound toddler wearing nothing but a pair of Elmo underwear)

However, when the accident-free honeymoon period of this whole "potty trained" thing came to an end, I found that I was washing those cute little underwear three times as often, along with the pants he was wearing when he had his "accident" and also the shirt he was wearing at that time because...............

"I ALSO NEED TO CHANGE MY SHIRT TOO! I ALSO NEED TO WEAR MY RED SHIRT WITH MY BLUE PANTS! I ALSO DID WEAR MY YAYO SHIRT WIF MY GREEN PANTS! I ALSO NOT NEED TO WEAR MY YAYO SHIRT WIF MY BLUE PANTS! I ALSO NEED TO WEAR MY RED SHIRT!"

So, to make an already too long story short, I just wash everything. I've even stopped separating the lights from the darks.

And please, don't even think about leaving me a nasty helpful comment about not separating the clothes. Yes, I know, I'm a slacker mom because I don't separate my toddlers dark clothes from his underwear. Here are three reasons why this is OK.

A. He's going to be growing out of these clothes pretty soon anyway.

B. His clothes are small, I can get them all into one load in the washing machine. This saves energy and water, which, again, reduces the whole carbon footprint thing.

C. See #1 above. We don't go anywhere so nobody will see his faded colors, or the pink tinge of his Spongebob underwear, because, again, WE NEVER GO ANYWHERE!


#3. Streaking

Since Max ends up making a complete change of clothing, (sometimes several times a day) I have decided that he should dress himself. He is three and a half, and quite capable of putting his clothes on (even if they are inside out and backwards) He will even spend 20 minutes meticulously buttoning all three buttons on his polo shirt, however, most of the time he usually just doesn't feel like dressing himself, and prefers to run around ................."swinging free"
This causes a great deal of concern by his siblings who tell him things like:

"Max! Put some clothes on!"
"Max, please get dressed!"
and
"Hey Max, nobody wants to see THAT!"

But Max doesn't care, because he's three. Today he walked around singing

"Hey! Go put some pants on DUUUUUUUDE!!"

Which, in all honesty, was actually pretty cute the first FORTY OR FIFTY TIMES HE SANG IT, but after that, I started to get a headache and needed to wash down some Motrin with a big Diet Dr. Pepper, and then make some fudge. (I am SO blaming my weight gain on Max's potty training!)

Max is now starting to have quite the fascination with the toilet. Earlier today, we heard him yelling in the bathroom, and when I went in to investigate, I discovered him standing there (without pants) yelling AT the toilet.

"NOT THAT WAY!!! YOU ALSO NEED TO GO FASTER!! NO!!........... NO!!........... NO!!

Apparently, the toilet wasn't flushing fast enough.

{{..........sigh..........}}

I think it probably had something to do with the whole roll toilet paper he had just stuffed in it.