Because I'm SO grateful

Dear lady who volunteers in my daughter's class,
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to come and teach the children about politics.
I would, however, be most grateful if you would only teach the children about the political system, and leave your personal opinions to yourself.
While I agree that it is a good thing for the children to know various things about each of the candidates, from what I hear, you said wonderful, glowing things about one candidate, while getting in nasty little jabs at the other.
I'm sure you felt very proud of yourself at the end of the discussion when all of the children said that they would all vote for your candidate. Why would they do anything different when you portrayed him as a superhero and his opponent as the village idiot.
I honestly don't care which candidate you support, I just feel that in this situation you should give each candidate an equal amount of praise, and let the children decide for themselves.
A public school classroom is not a place to recruit junior members of your political party.
Thank you.
Signed,
A really annoyed mom.
P.S. Don't be surprised if you wake up tomorrow morning with signs for the other candidate scattered throughout your yard.




Dear seller on eBay,
Thank you so much for your email reminding me to pay for the item that I won. I apologize, but I don't seem to remember even bidding on that item, and quite frankly, I can't imagine what I was thinking when I bid on it mostly because a 50 acre island in the South Pacific is very large, and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to fit it in the basement with the rest of the junk that I've bought on eBay.
Due to the fact you sent me that reminder and threatened to give me negative feedback and turn me in as a non-paying bidder, I will go ahead and pay for the item. I don't exactly have the money right now, but if you could be patient, any day now I should be receiving a large sum of money from a Nigerian Prince and will be able to pay you in full.
It was so nice of you to include all of those links in your email which led me directly to the eBay sign in page where I could enter all of my personal information so it would be easier for me to pay.
Thank you.
Signed,
Do you really think I'm that gullible? Seriously? A 50 acre island in the South Pacific????
P.S. Just so you know, eBay does not seem to have any record of this transaction, and you are listed as "no longer a registered user" You might want to check into that, I'm sure it's just a computer glitch somewhere in the eBay system.
P.P.S. Does the island have it's own airport?




Dear guy on the freeway,
I'm so sorry that we were in your way earlier today when you suddenly decided to change lanes. You see, we were unaware that you were changing lanes until AFTER you nearly ran into the front of our car.
Might I suggest that when wanting to change lanes that you use your signal before you do. Please understand that if you use the turning signal after you finish changing lanes it doesn't really count.
I'm sure that you didn't see our large SUV there because you were concentrating on the stack of papers that you were holding on the front of the steering wheel while talking on your cell phone.
I'm sorry that we interrupted your obviously very important phone call.
Signed,
PULL OF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!




Dear Max,
Please stop asking me what "those" are. Please stop poking them and asking "What those are?"
Especially when we are waiting in the long check-out line at the grocery store.
You know darn well what "those" are, I fed you with them for two years!
Signed,
Your no longer lactating mom.