Because I'm SO grateful

Dear lady who volunteers in my daughter's class,
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to come and teach the children about politics.
I would, however, be most grateful if you would only teach the children about the political system, and leave your personal opinions to yourself.
While I agree that it is a good thing for the children to know various things about each of the candidates, from what I hear, you said wonderful, glowing things about one candidate, while getting in nasty little jabs at the other.
I'm sure you felt very proud of yourself at the end of the discussion when all of the children said that they would all vote for your candidate. Why would they do anything different when you portrayed him as a superhero and his opponent as the village idiot.
I honestly don't care which candidate you support, I just feel that in this situation you should give each candidate an equal amount of praise, and let the children decide for themselves.
A public school classroom is not a place to recruit junior members of your political party.
Thank you.
Signed,
A really annoyed mom.
P.S. Don't be surprised if you wake up tomorrow morning with signs for the other candidate scattered throughout your yard.




Dear seller on eBay,
Thank you so much for your email reminding me to pay for the item that I won. I apologize, but I don't seem to remember even bidding on that item, and quite frankly, I can't imagine what I was thinking when I bid on it mostly because a 50 acre island in the South Pacific is very large, and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to fit it in the basement with the rest of the junk that I've bought on eBay.
Due to the fact you sent me that reminder and threatened to give me negative feedback and turn me in as a non-paying bidder, I will go ahead and pay for the item. I don't exactly have the money right now, but if you could be patient, any day now I should be receiving a large sum of money from a Nigerian Prince and will be able to pay you in full.
It was so nice of you to include all of those links in your email which led me directly to the eBay sign in page where I could enter all of my personal information so it would be easier for me to pay.
Thank you.
Signed,
Do you really think I'm that gullible? Seriously? A 50 acre island in the South Pacific????
P.S. Just so you know, eBay does not seem to have any record of this transaction, and you are listed as "no longer a registered user" You might want to check into that, I'm sure it's just a computer glitch somewhere in the eBay system.
P.P.S. Does the island have it's own airport?




Dear guy on the freeway,
I'm so sorry that we were in your way earlier today when you suddenly decided to change lanes. You see, we were unaware that you were changing lanes until AFTER you nearly ran into the front of our car.
Might I suggest that when wanting to change lanes that you use your signal before you do. Please understand that if you use the turning signal after you finish changing lanes it doesn't really count.
I'm sure that you didn't see our large SUV there because you were concentrating on the stack of papers that you were holding on the front of the steering wheel while talking on your cell phone.
I'm sorry that we interrupted your obviously very important phone call.
Signed,
PULL OF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!




Dear Max,
Please stop asking me what "those" are. Please stop poking them and asking "What those are?"
Especially when we are waiting in the long check-out line at the grocery store.
You know darn well what "those" are, I fed you with them for two years!
Signed,
Your no longer lactating mom.

eBay shmeeBay

Alternate title to this post "When good auctions go bad"
Or "What do squirrels eating Nacho cheese Doritos have to do with anything?"

If you've been reading here for a while, you know how much I love eBay. You can buy anything on eBay.

Seriously!

A few years ago, me and the kids invented a new game. It's called "Do they sell it?"
We go to eBay, then type in really random items. Nine times out of ten somebody, somewhere is trying to sell it.
We search for things such as used socks. I just looked, and as of tonight there are 290 listings for used socks.

Some people seemed to have a very high opinion of their used socks. One lady was trying to sell several pairs of her old socks. They looked quite worn and stretched out. The bidding started at $7.99 per pair, and the "buy it now" price was $9.99.

I don't even pay that much for a new pair of socks!

Anyway, back to eBay. I had some items that I wanted to list on eBay today. A while ago, I bought some special software to use to list items on eBay. It has all sorts of fun templates to use for auction listings.
The software worked pretty good the first time I used it, but I've encountered problems since then.
Fast forward to today. I want to list an item. When I first opened the program, it said that there were some new updates to the software, and would I like to download them now?"
Sure. Why not?
I click on the little button, and voila! My software is up to date!

Things went relatively smoothly listing the first item, but then I went to list item #2.

I fill out all the information and upload the photos. It looks great, so I click on "publish auction" then I went to eBay to see how it looked, but instead of listing the second item, it listed the first again.

I now have the same item listed twice.

"No problem" I thought. "I'll just delete it then start over" so I went back to the nifty listing software, re entered everything, and clicked publish, then I get this..........

"This is a trial version of this software. You have used your three free listings. To purchase software, click here"

Say what???

I bought this software at a store. It came in a box and everything.

This happened once before, and I had to go through this lengthy process of finding the original box and instruction manual and the numbers to enter and...................

So instead of going through that again, I just opened an older version of the software, and guess what?

"Your eBay list has been updated to a newer version. This version is out of date, and will not open the updated files."

I can't open the newer version because it's supposedly a trial version, and I can't open the older version because the files have been updated and will only open with the newer version.

Can you see why I was a tad upset???

I went directly to eBay, thinking that I would just delete the entire listing, but do you think I could find the delete button anywhere.

So I decided that since I didn't have a duplicate item to sell on the second listing, I would just change it. I reduced the starting bid to .01 cent and made the shipping free. And then, just to blow off steam, I wrote a bit of a rant in the description.

This is it.



Please don't bid on this item.
I accidentally listed the same item twice! I Only have one item to sell, and it's being sold on the other listing.
I can't find where I can delete this listing!!
I've searched everywhere, and tried to find a way to stop this auction, and the delete button has been hidden so well that I'm pretty sure I'll never find it!
I'm losing my mind!

No matter how loud I yell at my computer and eBay, the listing just won't go away!!

Help!!

So, I just deleted all of the real information on this listing, and plan on letting it run until it ends, and just eat any listing fees that they might throw at me.

I was just going to leave the gallery photo blank, but then I noticed that the first photo is free, and hey, I'm not about to pass up a great deal like that.



If you're wondering about the picture that I have on this listing, it's a photo that my kids took of a squirrel at the Grand Canyon several years ago.They were feeding it tortilla chips, which I know is not good for the little squirrels, due to all of the trans fats and everything, however, I was unaware that my darling offspring were feeding junk food to the wildlife at this lovely national landmark.

What can I say, my kids are sneaky.

Had I known that this was what they were doing, I would have confiscated the chips, and given them a stern lecture (the kids, not the squirrels) and then made the little rugrats eat broccoli or brussell sprouts or something.

As it turned out, I didn't know about the squirrel chip-fest until we got back home and saw the photos, and by then, we were hundreds of miles away, and seriously, what could I do at that point?
The other photo is the result of one of my sneaky kids.


I'm not sure which one took the photo, but there are about twelve more just like it. I don't know who the mustache belongs to. Poor guy, he has no idea that his facial hair has just been posted online.

I had to pay 15 cents to include that second photo, so I hope you enjoy it.

If you notice, the shipping for this item is FREE! That's pretty much because I don't have an actual item to sell on this listing, so basically it won't cost anything for the postage. If you have somehow made it to the end of this description, and you feel like looking at the real listing, you know, the one with the original dress, just go up to the right hand side of your computer screen and click on "view seller's other items" and it will magically appear before your eyes. If you wanted to bid on the dress, (the one in the real listing) that would be great too. The dress is really pretty, the pictures didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, trust me, the dress is gorgeous. Thank you for reading my rant.

Peace out.

I WON!!!!

Friday I wrote about how I was waiting for something.
Yes, it was an Ebay auction, and Yes, I WON!!

With 7 seconds left, I jumped in and made my bid, sniping the item away from the poor unsuspecting person who previously had the highest bid.

Too bad for them.

OK, maybe I do feel a bit sorry for them. Goodness knows I've had that happen to me before. I'll put in my bid with like 4 or 5 seconds left, I'm then told that I'm the highest bidder, only to have someone bid again with 2 seconds left, then I lose.

Or, I put in my bid with just a few seconds left, only to find that my internet connection is slow and my bid gets in after the bidding has closed.

I really hate when that happens.

But still, everything is great, because as I mentioned before ............

I WON!!!

There's nothing like getting something you need for less than 1/4 the original cost.

I LOVE ebay!

And I'm glad that I had such a great day Friday, because so far, today isn't looking so good.

By 9:00 this morning, I had the opportunity to do an extra load of laundry, give Max a bath, take another shower myself, and mop the bathroom floor.

Apparently, Max isn't feeling well, and let me know this by throwing up all over the front of my shirt, his pajamas, and the bathroom floor.

After we got everything cleaned up, Max took me in to the bathroom and said "Mom, you need to make a hole in my potty."
"What do you mean I have to make a hole in your potty?"
"You also need to make a hole in the bottom of my potty so I can flush it!"

This looks like it's going to be a fun day.