Friday, April 3, 2009

Bird is back

Do you remember Bird?

He's back. Apparently, after Max threw him in the garbage, he somehow managed to find his way back home.
Yesterday, Max was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch, and calmly announced that "Bird" was in my office.
"What on earth is Bird doing in my office?" I ask, "I thought the garbage truck took him away."
Max replies "He's back, and he's messing up your garbage can."
I was a little concerned because my garbage can was pretty full, and the last thing I needed was an imaginary bird messing it up. I told Max he needed to go get Bird out of my office.

Max got down from his chair, went into my office for a minute then came back.
"Bird is stopped playing in your garbage" he says "Now he's also playing with all your papers."

Bird spent the rest of the day getting himself into trouble. Max was quietly playing in his room when he came running to me and says "MOM! MOM! Bird is knocking me over!"
"Are you OK?" I ask (you know, because I want to make sure that this imaginary bird hasn't been causing my sweet little boy any serious harm.)

"NO! He did knock me over like this."

Then he fell over.

"SEE! HE DID IT AGAIN! HE DID IT AGAIN!"

I told Bird that he really needed to stop picking on Max or he would be in big trouble.

I must have really scared Bird, because he was quiet for a while, in fact, we didn't see him again until later that day when we were in the car. Bird showed up, and true to form, started misbehaving.

"BRIELLE! BRIELLE! HE'S GETTING YOUR COAT! HE'S GETTING YOUR BACK PACK! HE'S FLYING AROUND THE CAR! HE'S MESSING THINGS UP! HE'S TEARING UP THE SEAT! HE'S BEING NAUGHTY!"

I said to Brielle "Maybe Bird needs to go out the window."

Before Max could protest, Brielle quickly rolled down the window, threw Bird out, then rolled it back up.

(and for any of you that are worried that Bird might be hurt, first of all, he's a bird, and birds can fly, second of all HE'S NOT A REAL BIRD!)

Max looked a bit shocked.

I said "Max, don't worry about Bird. I'm pretty sure he will find his way back home."

Max thought for a moment then said "NO. He not will find his way to home, he will fly to a different house."

My heart leapt at the thought of the stupid bird moving somewhere else. I mean, this imaginary bird was causing quite the commotion in our home.

But I was also curious.

"What different house will Bird fly to?" I ask.

Max very calmly replies "He will fly to Amanda's house." (Amanda is my SIL)

So Amanda, I'm really sorry. Watch out, he will attack your head when you least expect it. He is rather fond of flying into the closet and messing things up. In fact, he messes everything up! You can try putting him in time out, but apparently, he can fly right through a wall, and will get back at you by attacking your head.

And no, we do not want him back.

We have a new imaginary bird. His name is Fooba, and he is a nice bird. He's small, and he has pretty, fluffy feathers, and he has never once attacked any of my children.

We will keep this bird.


I'm serious Amanda, I DO NOT want this bird back!!

13 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Bird sounds terrifying!

Busty LaRue said...

I love the stories you tell about Bird! I'm glad your new bird with the fluffy feathers is nicer and better behaved, though. I would hate to have my head constantly attacked by a naughty bird! haha :)

Jo said...

We have a naughty bird at our house too. Only this bird is for real. And when she needs her wings clipped, she also does fly around and mess things up!
I am glad your naughty bird is gone and you have a better behaved one now. Max just kills me!

Bonnie the Boss said...

I seriously don't ever want that bird at my house.
He is rude as well, just popping in without calling first. Rude I tell you.
I would encourage Max to find better friends if I was you.

amelia said...

Amanda: Please bring the bird back so we can read the blog post on Bird's Return, part III.

Alison Wonderland said...

I love that your son came up with all of that on his own, what a smarty-pants.

Maraiya said...

I think you could write a book about Max and it would sell. Millions. Best seller lists, here you come!

And may I say that you have now made me profoundly, yes - PROFOUNDLY, grateful that my children have never had any imaginary friends or pets.

And my WV is mouse. I was soo meant to leave this comment!

That's why I've been neglecting you...really, the universe told me to so I could get this WV. I swear it's true.

Amy said...

My sister had an imaginary friend when she was little. His name was Mr. Thomas. He wasn't as mischievous as Bird is, but he sure provided some entertainment!

Heidi said...

You know, you should buy a cage for Bird. I think that would help. But not an imaginary cage--that couldn't hold Bird in.

Staci K. said...

Max has a fantastic imagination - I agree that you should write a book!

rychelle said...

pushing max down?

is it big bird, from sesame street? i've always thought he had a dark side.

Damama T said...

Max is so cute with Bird's antics. I just keep wondering why Max needs (needed, hopefully!) Bird to do his dastardly bidding. I don't remember you ever asking Max WHY Bird was so ornery. Might be interesting to know. LOL!

disa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.