Saturday, June 27, 2009

The gloved one and other happenings

No, this is not yet another tribute to Michael Jackson.

Made you look!!

A few days ago, Max found a pair of purple stretch gloves. He started wearing them every day, all the time. He even made up a song about his gloves.
He looked pretty funny wearing warm gloves with his shorts and sandals.

Today, I noticed that Max was wearing only one glove. At first I thought that perhaps he was wearing one glove as a tribute to MJ (because he's seen more MJ on TV in the last few days than he has in his entire lifetime)
I asked him why he was only wearing one glove and he looked at me like I was a complete imbecile and said "Because I don't know where the other glub is!"

So there you have it. Max might have discovered the real reason that Michael Jackson only wore one glove, he simply couldn't find the other one.

BTW, I have a theory, I think he didn't really die, he's gone into hiding, and is living in a double wide with Elvis in a town just outside of Scottsdale Az.

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This morning, Brielle got up nice and early so I could take her to the Rec center. Before we left, she looked through the kitchen to find something to eat, and found an energy bar in the cabinet. Knowing that her dad had bought the energy bars, she asked him if he was planning on eating it. He said that he was indeed planning on eating it, took it, unwrapped it and was about to take a bite when I walked into the room.
"Hey, are there any more of those?" I asked.
"No" DH replied, "this is the last one, but you can have it if you want."
I told him I didn't want to take it from him and he said it was really OK, he would just eat cereal for breakfast, and I said no, he could have it and he said I could have it, and............

Brielle jumped in and said that she wanted it, so DH gave it to her and she went out to the car.
I grabbed a Diet Dr. Pepper healthy piece of toast then went out to the car.
As we were backing out of the driveway I noticed the energy bar sitting in the front seat with one bite taken out of it.
"Brielle, aren't you going to eat the bar?" I asked.
"No, I didn't like it, it didn't taste very good" she replied.
Knowing that sometimes she can be a very picky eater, I asked if I could have a bite, and she told me that I could eat the whole thing.

I looked at the wrapper, cinnamon bun flavored! MMMMM Seriously, how could anything flavored like a cinnamon bun taste bad?

Then I took a bite.

My taste buds were immediately assaulted with the most vile taste I've ever tasted since I was two years old and ate dirt.

It was awful!

I thought that maybe I could just finish chewing it up and swallow it, but the more I chewed the "cinnamon bun flavored" energy bar, the worse it got! The texture was something similar to sand soaked in wax, only it didn't taste as good as wax soaked sand.

I hurried and spit the wad of disgustingness into a napkin.

Unfortunately, some of the residue remained in my mouth because it was stuck in between my teeth.
From the backseat I heard Brielle say "I told you it was bad."

Unfortunately, "bad" didn't even begin to describe it.

I asked her how she had managed to eat the bite that she took, and she replied "Oh, I didn't eat it, I spit it out in the garbage can."

When we finally got to the rec center, I bought some fruit snacks from the vending machine to help us "cleanse the palette" unfortunately, later on the ride home we could still smell the bar which I had foolishly forgotten to throw away.

When we got home I brought the bar in the house and told DH that it really tasted bad.

He laughed.

And laughed.

And laughed.

"Why do you think there was one left? he said "As soon as I smelled it, I remembered how bad they tasted."
Naturally, I wasn't very happy with this, because he gave it to us (practically tried to force me to take it) knowing full well how bad this thing tasted.

Brielle said it tasted like duck poop.

(and no, I have no idea why she would have any clue as to what duck poop tastes like)

Naturally, we have absolutely no intention of letting this go. We feel it was a cruel joke to not just let us eat the "duck poop waxy sand puke bar" but even encourage us to eat it!

We will get even!

Actually, we won't get even, we will get ahead ;0)

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Here's some new artwork from Max.
At first glance, one might think that it's a picture of a deranged zombie robot turtle with two disembodied heads floating around with arms where their ears should be and blueberry jam smeared all over their faces, but no, it is yet another illustration of Max being born by c-section. The floating heads are the doctors and the blueberry jam would be their surgical masks.
The strange thing about that is that in all the photos that the kids showed him of the event, none of them showed the doctor's faces.
Is it possible that Max actually remembers the whole thing?

Hmmmm. Something to think about.

At least in this version, even though I'm still bald, my arms have moved from my head to the side of my body.

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Why is it that I am the only person in this house that can hear the phone ring? Why do I need to run across the house at top speed to answer a phone that is sitting within arms reach of one of my darling offspring?

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The males in my family seem to be unusually gassy today. Not sure why.
Actually, I'm not sure why I told you that.

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Quote for the day:

"Chairs are for butts, not backpacks"

11 comments:

MommyJ said...

Very entertaining post for my cramp induced insomnia.

I'm not sure why I told you that either.

I will forever remember that chairs are for butts and not for backpacks.

Kristina P. said...

Engergy bars NEVER taste good!

Love Max's drawing and his unintented tribute to MJ. Hope his nose is OK.

Me said...

LOL..I think your DH likes playing tricks on people with food...He did things like that to me when I was little...So mean :-)

Dianne said...

My theory on MJ is he went back to being black, with his original nose, so no one will ever recognize him and he does not have to hide. He can walk the streets in plain view.

Jo said...

I wish I lived at your house. I think I would just be laughing all day long. I can't wait to hear what you two cook up to get back at the hubby.
That is interesting that Max "remembers" the drs wore masks. Kind of weird, huh?

Karen said...

I love Max's pictures. Does the drawing of himself inside your belly have only one eye?

b. said...

I think it would be really interesting to know how much little kids remember...if they could verbalize what they remember.

Bonnie the Boss said...

I read it to my hubby and we both laughed! thanks! I really hard to steer clear of energy bars! GAG!

rychelle said...

max still seems rather upset about the whole birth. when will he start drawing a smile?

Jessica G. said...

Dude, your husband is evil! And funny.
Why does the Max in his drawing have such a frowny face? Didn't he enjoy being born?

rocslinger said...

Health tip; Diet Dr Pepper gets the bad taste of yucky energy bars out of your mouth, You just have to double your intake. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it!