Monday, June 1, 2009

Boredom busters for kids, or How to get yourself grounded in three easy steps!

Hey kids!!
It's summertime! School is out and pretty soon you will be faced with that age old problem......


(dun dun dun)

Do you enjoy the smell of burning machinery and burning rubber combined?
Do you enjoy seeing that vein on your dear mother's face pop out so far that it looks like it's going to burst?
Do you enjoy having different appliance repairmen visit your house on a regular basis?

Well kids, have I got an activity for you!!

First, clean your room. I know this is usually something that you don't do voluntarily, however, it will confuse your parents. They will be so shocked and happy that it will intensify their reaction to the real activity that you have planned!

Second, take all of the blankets and sheets in your room and stuff them in the washing machine. May I suggest, more specifically,

(may be sung to the tune of "Twelve days of Christmas")

Three LARGE afgans
Two handmade blankets
One throw blanket
One set of sheets
And a twin sized Spongebob comforter!

Be sure to use all of your weight to pack them down in the washing machine so that the lid will close.
Sit on the lid if necessary.

Next, put in the soap, turn on the washing machine and wait for the fun to begin!

Now, here's the tricky part, when the washing machine starts making a really obnoxious noise and you start to smell the burning machinery/rubber smell, instead of telling anyone, just close the door to the laundry room.

The washing machine might actually stop on it's own. In fact, it will probably stop and not start again.


Now here's the really fun part, when your mom starts to walk into the laundry room, casually say "Hey mom, you might not want to go in there, it smells really bad!"

Naturally, your mother will want to investigate any and every bad smell in the house, and will go in the laundry room anyway. Now is the time to tell her about the funny noise and how the washing machine "just stopped on it's own."

See the look of horror on your mother's face when she pushes every button on the washing machine only to discover that there are no signs of life left in this dear (not so old) appliance.

Watch as your mother searches the house, looking for the warranty to the washing machine, hoping that the warranty is not void if children are allowed to use the appliance.
Listen to your mother mutter under her breath something about never really seeing any rule that specifically says that children can't be sold on eBay.

Making family memories is so much fun!!!

Next you will get to help your possibly screaming at this point mother wring out the contents of the washing machine and carry them to the bathtub while trying not to drip water all over the house!!

Be forewarned, your mother may tell you that the money designated for the trip to the amusement park will be paid to the appliance repair man.
And there will be no amusement happening for you this summer!

Good times.

One last thing, this project is so much more fun if it happens after 11:00 p.m.

Try it!!

Go ahead, I DARE YOU!!!

This morning just before calling the repairman, I tried one more time to turn on the washing machine and lucky for the children, it worked.
We have spent the day rinsing and drying the all of the bedding removed last night, except this time I have separated it into 4 different loads.

Yes, I am relieved.


Debbi said...

HOLY CRAP, I woulda lost it! YAY that it's not broken permanently!

amelia said...

Oh I am SO GLAD it didn't turn out to be a permanent problem. I would have been TICKED. Maybe future summer boredom can be solved by weeding - not much to be destroyed that way, right?

Jen said...

BA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm extremely relieved in your washer's and your sanity's behalf.

Elizabeth said...

I would still probably nix the amusement park...NOW the money should go to mom...for a day at the spa...or something similar.

Mum-me said...

After reading this I have decided not to teach my children how to use the washing machine until they are at least 18. They can just do the sorting and matching socks instead.

rychelle said...

and to think of all those years i wasted playing in the pool and accesorizing barbies.

think of the fun i COULD HAVE been having!

Kristina P. said...

Can you be my mommy?

Busty LaRue said...

This story had me cringing with every bad thing that happened. Your kids sure are lucky the machine started this morning.

Karen said...

Did this happen on the FIRST day of summer vacation???

mommeeof9 said...

Sounds like something one of my boys would do. I know how to take apart my washer pump to remove the legos, barbie shoes, twist ties, ets, due to the other times I watched the repair man fix it.

In the 2 weeks after Rosalie was born, The washer and dryer broke, the fridge needed a safety recall repair and the stove shorted out a burner again, so we bought a new one.

Jo said...

Well, you answered my question, I was wondering if it were hypothetical or if maybe one of your children had a death wish! The fact that the child still lives is a testament to your forebearance.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

It's scary when they try to be helpful. Very scary...

rocslinger said...

Uh......Weeding is good, Maybe cutting the lawn (not mowing but cutting) one blade at a time. You might be able to use this to get all the chores done and on time.

MamaHen Em said...

Wow! I may have shipped them all off to Siberia for that! I must say you are much, much more funny about it than I would be! How lucky that it started again!

Melissa said...

Damn kinds, why'd we have them anyway?

Erin said...

Oh. My. Word. I guess it was kind of nice of them to clean their room. I hope they have learned their lesson though!

Jean Knee said...

dang, your having lots more fun than I am with my child.

so far I've only burst one vein and cried three times.

Tonya said...

I am so glad that your washing machine is working again. I think I may have maimed a child!!!

Lindsay said...

This happened to me the other day, only I did it to myself. My dad, who fixes appliances, said that the motor got overloaded because of the load, hence the burning smell. Basically, it just needed a timeout for a day and it's all good.

Elise said...

Stumbled here from a friend's blog, and... you are hilarious. And so are your children.