Ever since he was born, Max has been the sweetest, most laid back, easy going child. He even made it through the "terrible twos" with the minimum number of tantrums.
He is a sweetheart. Very loving, very tender hearted.
Max loves to help with anything he can. At age three, he can set the table for dinner all by himself.
He will get his toys out, play with them and then put them away.
Without being asked.
In the last few weeks, since he turned three, I have noticed things starting to change a bit.
I will ask him to set the table, he will say "No" so one of his siblings will set it. This will make him mad, and he will take all the dishes off of the table and put them back on himself.
I will ask him to put his coat away. He will say "No" so I will put it in the closet. This will upset him, and he will get it out of the closet walk across the room, drop it back on the floor (where it was originally) and then pick it up and take it back to the closet and put it away.
Max usually has a very pleasant disposition until late afternoon, when he will sometimes turn into "Mr. Crabbypants" (as we ever so affectionately call him)
The kid really needs an afternoon nap, and on the rare days where this is accomplished, we enjoy Max and his sweet disposition until bedtime.
Today, there was no nap.
Set the scene:
Dad has grilled some hamburgers for dinner. Max will always ask for a hamburger, but will only eat the top bun, and occasionally peel the cheese off of the hamburger patty.
He NEVER eats the hamburger.
Max: "I want some cheese."
I unwrap a slice of cheese, and he inhales it.
Max: "I WANT SOME MORE CHEESE!"
Me "Max, do you think you can ask for that nicer?"
Max: (Lowering his voice) "Please I some have cheese?)
I unwrap another slice and hand it to him.
Max "I NEED SOME MILK!"
Me: "Hey Max, do you want to try that again?"
Max (lowering his voice) Please I some have milk?"
CJ pours him some milk, and he freaks out.
Max: "NO! Make it be dempty! Make it be dempty! ("dempty" means empty)
I pick up his glass of milk and drink it.
He hands me the glass and says "Mom get me milk"
(He is currently going through a phase where I am the only person that can do anything for him)
I poured him the milk.
Max: "I NEED SOME MORE CHEESE!"
ME: "Try that again little dude."
Max: "Please I some have more cheese?"
At this point, Brielle asks "What, is he on some kind of dairy only diet or something?"
We decide that since he has had so much cheese, that he won't be wanting a hamburger, so someone else eats Max's hamburger patty. Just as the last bite of it is being eaten...........
Max: "I WANT A HAMBURGER!"
Thinking that I'm being clever, I say "How about a bun? We could put some cheese on it.
Max looked like he was going to go for this idea, and just as we were putting the top bun on the cheese sandwich , Aaron (bless his unobservant little heart) says "Hey Max, why aren't you having a hamburger on that?"
Now Max wants hamburger on his bun. Hamburger that has already been eaten. Hamburger that Max would only nibble on at the most.
Max is now screaming "I WANT THE BROWN PART! I WANT THE BROWN PART!!"
(brown part meaning the hamburger patty)
Me: "Sorry Max, but all the brown parts are gone see."
I hold up the empty plate foolishly thinking that this will satisfy him.
Max: (sobbing) "I want a brown part! I want a brown part!"
I go searching through the freezer, hoping to find something that will pass for a "brown part."
I found an old frozen microwaveable breakfast sandwich with a sausage patty.
I chip the sandwich apart, flake the cheese off of the sausage patty, and nuke it in the microwave. as soon as I pulled it out of the microwave, I KNEW that we would have a problem.
It wasn't brown.
The darn patty was a dark tan at best. Not even close to the delicious flame grilled burgers that the rest of us had devoured just moments before.
"Maybe he won't notice" I thought.
Okay Jill, get a clue. You really thought he wouldn't notice?
I hurried and slipped the sausage patty on the bun and tried to cover it with a slice of cheese.
Max lifted the top bun, peeled off the cheese and said..........
"IT'S NOT BROWN!!
IT'S NOT BROWN!!
IT'S WHITE!! "
"I WANT THE BROWN ONE!!!!"
At this point, I was SO finished. I hauled him off to his room and got him ready for bed.
I'm too exhausted to describe the process of getting his pajamas on him. Let's just say it was similar to dinner.
I just went into his room to check on him. He's so sweet, snuggling under his blanket, hugging his stuffed frog, dreaming about all the wonderful things in his life...........
Oh, who am I kidding. He's not sleeping, he's "recharging."
I've got to figure out a way to get this kid to nap.