Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Things that are not awesome - Grocery store edition

I discovered at 10:15 p.m. that we needed a few things from the grocery store. "No problem" I thought, I'll just make a quick trip over to our closest store, they're open until 11:00.

I walk quickly through the store, trying to find the things on my list. Unfortunately, the grocery geniuses had recently decided that all of the merchandise was in the wrong place and had moved everything around.

I search every isle trying to find the items that I came for, and finally just settled on the most crucial of groceries because I couldn't find where they put the other stuff.


Then I happily walked off to the check out stands only to discover that they close the regular check outs at 10:30. It was 10:45.


Now the only option for me was the self check out.


I loathe self check out.


Seriously, I really, really intensely dislike having to scan my own groceries.
Since this now was my only choice, combined with the fact that we really needed milk, I decided to just suck it up and deal with the stupid self check out.


I waited in line with the other people who were grumbling about the stupid self check out, and watched while the one and only worker assigned to the self check out ran back and forth between the 4 different stations, resetting the machines, deleting things that scanned twice, figuring out how to scan stuff that wouldn't scan...............


It seemed to me that if the store were just to have this same guy open a regular check stand, that everyone would have made it out of the store much faster.


FINALLY, it was my turn.
I took the first item out of my cart, scanned it then put it in the bag.
I took the second item out of the cart, scanned it then put it in the bag.


So far so good. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.


I scanned a gallon of milk, however, I didn't think it should be put in a bag, so I returned it to the shopping cart.


The stupid self checkout machine started beeping at me "PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!"


Only there really wasn't room to place the gallon of milk in the stupid bagging area. I found a spot very near the edge of the platform to sit it in so that the stupid self check out machine would stop yelling at me.
The next problem was that I was buying three gallons of milk. There was no way that I could fit two more gallons of milk in the stupid bagging area.
But I had me an idea!


I scanned the second gallon of milk but instead of trying to find room in the stupid bagging area, I put it back in the cart and lifted up the first gallon of milk then sat it back down.
I was feeling rather clever until "DO NOT REMOVE ITEMS FROM THE BAGGING AREA! PLACE THE SCANNED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!!!"

I must have looked like I was going to cry because the employee assigned to the self check out came over, scanned the remaining milk, typed some special code into the stupid machine then put the milk (all three gallons) into my cart.

I thanked him, then picked up the tomatoes from my cart.

Were you aware that tomatoes come without a bar code?

I was standing there, wondering what I should do, listening to the stupid machine tell me to "SCAN NEXT ITEM OR PROCEED TO CHECK OUT!! SCAN NEXT ITEM OR PROCEED TO CHECK OUT!! SCAN NEXT ITEM OR PROCEED TO CHECK OUT!!"

I finally figured out that I needed to indicate that I was buying produce, then place the tomatoes on the stupid self check out scanner to be weighed. Easy enough, but then it asked me what kind of produce it was.
Stupid machine, they're tomatoes.
A screen came up with all sorts of different produce. I scrolled my way through all of the fruits and vegetables until I found the tomatoes.

Do you have any idea how many different varieties of tomatoes there are?
I was pretty sure that the store didn't stock even half of the different tomatoes that were shown on the stupid machine.

I kept looking through the tomato pictures, trying to find a picture that looked like my tomatoes, or just trying to remember what the sign said about the tomatoes that I was trying so desperately to purchase........

Self check out employee guy came over and typed in his magic words until my tomatoes showed up on the screen and the stupid self check out machine was able to charge me the correct amount.
Self check out employee guy then needed to go rescue a teenager who was attempting to buy a candy bar, but his stupid self check out machine wouldn't scan the candy bar.

That's right folks, ONE candy bar, and the kid couldn't get it to work because the stupid EVIL self check out machine didn't recognize the item.

I picked up the tomatoes and put them in my cart........returned them to the stupid bagging area so the stupid, evil self check out machine would stop yelling at me again.

I finally got to the last item in my shopping cart. It was a small pan of brownies from the clearance area of the bakery. (Hey, I said that I only got the most crucial groceries)

I scanned the brownies, which had been marked down from $5.00 to $2.00, and much to my dismay, the stupid, evil self check out machine charged me full price!!!

Now, I was beyond angry. As much as I love brownies, there was NO WAY that I was going to pay $5.00 for them when they were marked $2.00!
If I had been using a regular HUMAN cashier, they would have picked up on that and fixed it even before there was a problem.
Fortunately, the self check out employee guy came to my rescue once again (I did have to wait for him to help another teenager who was buying a bottle of Gatorade) I explained to SCOEG that my brownies should have only been $2.00. This time he typed something into the computer on is desk, and magically, it changed the price on my screen.

I had finally scanned all of my items, so I proceeded to check out. Eventually, I made the stupid, evil self check out machine understand that I wanted to pay with a debit card, then made the payment and left as quickly as I could. (following the instructions of the self check out to "REMOVE ALL ITEMS FROM THE BAGGING AREA!")

I'm pretty sure that from now on, if it's past 10:30, I will drive across town to the Wal Mart so that I can have the option of NOT using self check out if I so wish.
Plus I'll get the added bonus of seeing the peOple of Wal Mart, which is something that I don't usually get to see at our local grocery store.
Another thing that will not be seen at our local store would be the grown woman, yelling at the stupid self check out machine "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF TOMATOES THESE ARE! I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN! I CAN'T PUT THAT MILK IN THE BAGGING AREA, THERE ISN'T ROOM! I'M SCANNING AND SCANNING THIS ITEM, WHY CAN'T YOU SEE IT? THE BROWNIES ARE MARKED DOWN TO $2.00!! I REPEAT, THE BROWINES ARE MARKED DOWN TO $2.00!!
WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME NOT TO TAKE THE ITEMS FROM THE BAGGING AREA? JUST 20 SECONDS AGO YOU TOLD ME TO PUT THEM THERE!!!!!"

10 comments:

M-Cat said...

LOL - I am with you! I hate the stupid self checkout. Never have I been able to go through it without some sort of assistance. Stupid machines

just call me jo said...

That self-checkout voice-lady is the Devil in disguise. She hates me. Some day I will rip her automated throat from the machine. How did you have the energy to go to store after 10 p.m. anyway? I'm so tired by 10 I can barely waddle in to bed. A pox on the machine.

MamaHen Em said...

I just had this same experience two days ago, only in the middle of the day. ONE cashier was open and then of course the poor soul manning the self check out station. I always feel so, so sorry for that guy. Six stations, each confusing the person trying to check out, poor cashier trying to fix everyone's problems. I HATE the self check out.

Kristina P. said...

I am a self-checkout master. Calal me next time, and I will help you.

Brandi said...

I'd rather use the self checkout! I like the way I bag my groceries a LOT better than the way the store baggers do. The problem is that I am usually getting too many groceries for the self checkout lane. I organize like items together to make it easier, but my system is generally ignored. I hate finding raw meats with my fresh veggies, foil topped yogurt cups crushed under cans, etc. So, I spend several minutes rebagging my groceries before I can put them in my vehicle. If my kids are with me, they rush to the bagging area to "do it the way Mom wants it".

Me (aka Danielle) said...

I too, loathe the self checkout. I will use it if I have onlye 1-2 items (which is hardly ever). But, I typically try to avoid it...for the same reasons you had so much fun this shopping trip!

P.S. I like the new layout!

Jessica G. said...

I, too, loathe the self-check out. I'm glad I'm not the only person that feels like I'm being berated by my third grade teacher with every purchase.

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! I am laughing so hard right now. I hate when it tells me that there is nothing on the baggage area and I have like a 10 pound thing onthere.

Karen said...

Personally, I like the self-checkout. It seems to work better than letting the dim-witted cashiers try to check me out.

M said...

Is it bad that I actually like self checkout? I think it's because I like to avoid dealing with real people....my only real complaint (besides your very true observation that the stores never stock even 1/2 of the produce options listed) is that the bagging areas aren't big enough. It does get hard to squish a cart load of groceries onto a postage stamp no matter my mad Jenga skillz.