Saturday, April 19, 2008

Yes, I love technology.....

Everyone can stop worrying now.
The chocolate cravings have returned!
Strangely enough, I the cravings returned on Thursday, which was a very stressful day for me.

So here I am, having a full blown chocolate fit, and no chocolate in the house. If I wasn't already in my pajamas, I would go to the store for a Dove bar. Heck, I'd even settle for a Hershey bar. I won't, however, stoop to eating the Palmer brand chocolate. I'm craving chocolate, not chocolate flavored wax.

Okay, on to another subject.

I need some help. If there are any computer nerds or technology geeks out there, listen up.

There's a program on my computer that I really want to either disable, or get rid of completely. I'm not sure what its called, where it is, or how it works, all I know is that it is making my life on the computer quite difficult, and it also seems to have a big effect on my printer. Since I don't know the name of this program, I will describe to you what it does, and maybe someone out there can offer some advice on what to do.
Okay, here goes. Feel free to take notes.

Whenever I need to have some work finished in the immediate future, some sort of sensor in the computer is able to measure my exact level of stress. It then takes this information, and causes the computer to misbehave. The problems will range from the computer running a little slow (mild stress on my part) to freezing up completely (Major stress)
As I mentioned earlier, this happens to my printer also. If I need something printed pronto, it begins to print v e r y ......s....l....o....w.....l.......y.
Or it runs out of ink. Or it says it is running out of ink and so I open it up to check the ink levels which are fine, and then when I close it, it says that there is a paper jam that needs to be cleared, but I know darn well that there isn't, because I just looked inside, so I open it up again and then close it, open it, close it..............until it says the paper jam is gone, then I start to print, and it catches several pieces of paper at once, so when it gets to printing the last page, it is then out of paper, and it freezes up also..........

I think my all time favorite malfunction happened today.

I needed to get some things done and uploaded to a site. The first file seemed to go smoothly, until I realized that I had sent the wrong version, and I couldn't find any way that I could just cancel or delete the file, so I could re send the corrected version. I couldn't leave it as it was, but I couldn't find any way to fix it. Nothing I tried worked. I even tried just deleting the whole thing.


Were you aware that you can scream at a computer for 5 minutes, and it still won't do what you want?
Seriously, no response whatsoever.

I've decided that deep down, my computer is probably a teenager.

I finally figured out how to change the file after it had uploaded, but not before frightening my toddler.
I calmed down and re applied my mascara, and then tried to continue, but the program I was using suddenly decided that it was a trial version, and wouldn't work for me.
I needed to register my software (which I'm pretty sure I already registered) I now need to find the original box.

Yeah right.

Apparently, my computer had managed to hide the box under a huge pile of paper, toys, and other miscellaneous items on my desk. When I found it, the disk was not inside, and I couldn't find the code I needed to get into the website to register my software, which I knew darn well that I had purchased.
I briefly thought about finding the receipt and showing it to the darn computer, just to prove that we owned the software, but I couldn't find the receipt either.

I typed in the # on the box, and wouldn't you know it?
So I go back to searching through the box to find the number, when my 12 year old son smugly points to the back of the software tutorial handbook, where we find the code.

Like anyone actually reads those instructions anyway!

I FINALLY got everything done and uploaded.

Don't get me wrong, I love all the technological cool stuff that the computers can do now. I just want the stress level sensor removed from my computer and printer.
I don't think that's too much to ask.

Anytime I hear the word "Technology" I think of this.

I'm also worried that sometimes, technology might be going a bit too far.
Do you notice any similarities between this...........

And this?

Something to think about.


Jo said...

I have the exact same virus on my computer. Please pass on the solution if you ever figure it out. I keep running my anti virus software, but it isn't helping...

Hey It's Di said...

I have to tell you that I can't stand Palmer's so called chocolate either. I love chocolate and all but that is a poor excuse for chocolate and I just won't stoop to eat it. I may be desperate but I know my chocolate & that doesn't stop the cravings. I tend to eat all the chocolate chips in the house when there is nothing else. I'm bad.

I wish I had an answer for your computer problem but I'm lame with stuff like that & if I can't hit it or control/alt/delete to fix it, I'm screwed!

Cecily R said...

First of all, you let a little thing like pajamas get in the way of going to the store for chocolate? Since I wear jammies as clothes way more often than I should admit, that doesn't even phase me.

And secondly, the whole time I was reading your post I was thinking about the wedding song. Heh.

Oh, and I came over from Five Little Monkeys...LOVE your letter post about the drop off line!!

Leah said...

my printer must have taken cues from YOUR printer the last time you blogged about computer issues because my keeps claiming random paper jams and takes me several attempts to actually get anything to print. And it's been claiming "WARNING, low ink" blah blah blah SINCE NOVEMBER and here we are, still managing to get things printed. GRRRRRRRRRR!

I feel your pain and hope you're able to resolve the issues soon!

PS My eldest was darn near three before she finally decided using the potty chair could be a good thing. Stubborn little stinker! My boys have shown FAR more interest and ability. My middle child was fully potty-trained just before turning 27 months old. Connor's on a roll at 22 months, but still has a ways to go... They all get there eventually, though... LOL

Sue said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha! Well, I'm a technology geek, and I think the problem is clear.

You have a gremlin. Or perhaps a small leprachaun. It's the only logical answer. ;>

HRH said...

So freaky that my computer does the same. Those last two pictures are going to keep me up tonight--scary!

Jules said...

I don't have a solution for you, sadly. And I have a bit more bad news. Are you ready?

All right then, here it is......

Your computer and printer have cloned themselves and run over to my house. Yes. I kid you not! It's true!

I've tried to bribe them with chocolate, which works rather well on me when I need to be bribed. But nothing doing. They are turning deaf ears... uh... microphones to me. I'm about to start in on the "Hammers are not your friends" lecture next.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Tausha said...

i totally understand. I hate them.. I wish that there was a computer that you could just say what you wanted it to do and you wouldn't have learn any programs. Oh-to dream.
I have a husband who is very good at all that crap. So-if i can get him to read the blogs (he doesn't like to, not even min) maybe he can help you out!
In the meantime-good luck!

Lois said...

Yeah, Palmer's "chocolate" is nasty.

Speaking of geeky "Star Trek" stuff, we used to joke that 7 of 9's Borg implants weren't her ONLY implants.

Hope you solve your computer troubles quickly!

Jen said...

Just have Aaron breathe on your computer and printer for five minutes a day. He seems to have "the knack." I'm sure the technology will start behaving just because of the happy breath of computer geek. I know this works because my husband breathes in the presence of our computer and it fixes whatever ails the thing.

Melissa said...

I've had trouble with my printer too... not sure what the deal is. I hope you figure it out!

Jessica G. said...

FINALLY! Someone who knows that Palmer is inferior! :)

I'll ask the hubby about computer problems. He's smart. Might know exactly where you can smack it with a hammer to get the darn thing working. He charges reasonable rates. hehehehe