Saturday, September 27, 2008

Jill's Jeopardy! The new game show!

Welcome to our new game show "Jill's Jeopardy"

(cue annoying theme song)

I'm your host Alex Trebeck!

Let's meet our new contestants!

First, we have CJ. Could you tell us a little bit about yourself?

CJ: "Hi Alex, I'm in seventh grade I like computers, pizza and sleeping in to the crack of noon."

Alex: "Great! Next we have Brielle"

Brielle: "Hi Alex! I'm ten years old I like anything pink and girly and I love to read and dance and draw and rollerblade and ride my bike and paint and sing and play the piano and make up plays and I love school and I don't like onions or mean kids or aliens from outer space and when I grow up I want to be either a pediatric cardiologist or the activities director for a cruise line or something like that because I have a lot of energy and a ton of great ideas and.......

Alex: "Thank you Brielle, but let's move along because this is only a 30 minute program. Our next contestant is Aaron, can you tell us a little about yourself?"

Aaron: "Hi Alex, I'm eight years old, and I like to clean stuff. I like to watch infomercials about cleaning products. If I win this game, I'm going to use my cash prize to buy myself one of those really cool floor polishing things, because that would be really cool!

Alex: "Um.........great! Our fourth contestant for Jill's Jeopardy is Max."

Max: "I'm a big boy! I also wearing underwear! I need some miwk! Please a please a please a please! I also pway wif my caws! I also hear the gwrarbage truck!! I know the alphabet song! I can also sing it for you A B C D E F G..........."

Alex: "Thank you Max. Now let's get started. When I give the answer, whoever is the first to hit the buzzer, they will get to answer. Please remember to phrase your answer the form of a question."

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "Max, please wait until I give the answer."

Max: "I also do like the buzzer!!"
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "No Max, not until AFTER I give the answer! CJ, you choose the first category."

Brielle: "Why does he get to go first? He always gets to go first? It's not fair!!!!"

CJ: "I'll take "Pet Peeves" for $200 Alex."

Alex: "The answer is stapler, tape and scissors."

Brielle: BUZZ "What are some things I like to use when I'm creating an art project"

Alex: "I'm sorry, while that might be true, it's not the answer that we're looking for"

Aaron: BUZZ "Stuff that can be used on a wall!"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, wrong answer and please remember to give your answers in the form of a question."

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
"I also like the buzzer!

CJ: BUZZ "What are things found in the kitchen drawer?"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, the correct question is "What are three things that your mom can never find when she really needs them because someone has used them and NOT returned them to the kitchen drawer." Sorry, no points. CJ, choose another category."

Brielle: "Hey wait, I want a turn!"

CJ: "I'll take "Say what" for $200 Alex.

Alex: "The answer is Get in the car!"

Aaron: "What does mom say when she wants us to sit down and watch television?"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, that's incorrect.

CJ: BUZZ "What does mom say a million times every morning?"

Alex: "Oh, so close, but not quite the answer that we're looking for."

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
I ALSO NEED TO GO POTTY!! I ALSO NEED TO GO POTTY! I ALSO NEED......

Alex: "Could someone please escort Max to the restroom?"

Brielle: BUZZ "What does mom say when she REALLY wants us to get in the car?"

Alex: "Yes! That's correct! When your mom says get in the car, she really wants you to get in the car!! Brielle, choose the next category please!"

Brielle: "I'll take "Hands off" for $400 Alex."

Alex: "Chocolate you might find hidden somewhere"

Brielle: "What is good to eat?"

Alex: "NO, I'm sorry."

CJ: "I think Brielle is right. When we find chocolate, no matter where it's hidden, I think we should get to eat it!"

Aaron: "Me too! Whenever I find chocolate hidden anywhere, I immediately eat it!"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, you all got that one wrong. The correct question is What should you never ever ever EVER eat? Now please, remember to buzz in before you give your answer!"

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
CHOKWIT MIWK! I ALSO DO WANT SOME CHOKWIT MIWK!!!!

Alex: "Aaron, your turn to choose a category."

Brielle: "Hey! I think it's my turn again! CJ got TWO TURNS! It can't be Aaron's turn yet!"

Aaron: "I'll take "Times of the day" for $300 Alex."

Alex: "10:30 p.m."

Aaron: BUZZ "What time does David Letterman come on TV?"

Alex: "Incorrect"

Brielle: BUZZ "What time does Jay Leno come on TV?"

Alex: "No. Sorry."

CJ: BUZZ "When is a good time to play the playstation 2?"

Alex: "No, I'm sorry, the correct question is When is the worst time to start on your homework that's due the next day, inform your mom that you are out of clean underwear, or practice the trumpet?"

Aaron: "We need clean underwear?"

CJ: "Hey, it's a better time than say 7:30 a.m. right before we go to school."

Alex: "True, but I think the point being made here is that these things should happen WELL BEFORE 10:30 p.m."

Brielle: "Is it my turn to choose the category?"

Alex: "sure. whatever."

Brielle: "I'll take "Pet peeves" for $300!"

Alex: "Glasses half full of milk left on the table."

Brielle: "Hey, I'm not the one that does that!"

Aaron: "Well, it's not me either!"

CJ: "I always finish off my milk!"

Alex: "Buzzers people! Remember your buzzers!"

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "Moving along................

Aaron: "My turn?"

Alex: "whatever"

Aaron: "Thanks Alex. I'll take "Miracles" for $500!"

Alex: "The answer is: Clean dishes, clean kitchen, toys put away, all done without whining."


(silence)


(more silence)


Alex: "Anyone going to buzz in on this one? ...............Anyone?"

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
(giggle, giggle, giggle)

Alex: "Is anyone going to ANSWER this one?"

(more silence)

Alex: "OK, the correct question would be "What are three things that would make your mother extremely happy?

Aaron: "whoa."

Brielle: "Seriously?"

CJ: "Wow, I never thought of that."

Max: BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

Alex: "Well, it looks like we're out of time. Please join us next week for the new game show WHEEL OF CHORES!"

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Teenagers make you fat

Today we made the trek downtown to see the circus parade.

All 39 seconds of it.

Max was able to see some elephants, and (good news) they didn't eat anyone!

The Children's museum was having a special event with free activities that included face painting, balloon animals, a magic show, cotton candy and popcorn.
The place was packed with moms, strollers, and about a billion kids.

I made an observation that most of these young moms were very skinny. Maybe pushing a double stroller with two small children and keeping track of two more little ones while carrying a diaper bag, and a new baby in a sling gives them a good workout.

Or, they just don't have time to eat.

We also went to the chocolate store, and I was able to get my favorite caramel, chocolate and pecan covered apple.

:0D

On the way home I asked Max what his favorite part of the day was. His answer?

"When we were going on the eskavator, and it also made me falled down and you catched me."

No elephants, no balloons, no popcorn. Apparently Mom saving him from falling down the escalator was the high point of his day.

Fast forward to this evening. It was parent teacher conference at the Jr. High.
We were able to find out that CJ is a good kid, and quiet in class. He seems to be doing really well.

While there, I made another observation. As I looked around at the other parents, I noticed that they were a bit different than the mom's of the toddlers that I had seen earlier in the day.
Let's just say that I felt like I fit in a bit better among the older parents. Most of us were a bit "healthier" looking than the skinny little moms at the children's museum.

My conclusion?

Teenagers make you fat.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hungry Elephants

Max has a new phrase.

Whenever he doesn't want to do something, he says "No, the elephants will come and eat me!"

Or if he wants me to do something for him and I'm blogging busy doing something important, he will say "Come here mom, or the elephants will also come and eat you!"

I'm trying to understand where he came up with this irrational fear of elephants eating people. The closest Max has ever come to an elephant is when we were at Disneyland last year, and we waited in line for 40 minutes to ride Dumbo (yes, ONLY 30 minutes, it was a slow day) and when we started to get in the Dumbo ride, Max freaked out, and wouldn't get in, so I handed him to his daddy and I rode by myself.
(We have this really cute picture of him standing next to the fence watching me on the ride by myself. His bottom lip is sticking out ever so slightly, and there are tears welling up in his eyes) (and no, I didn't feel like a dork being the only adult on the ride not accompanied by a child)

But as far as I could tell, none of the flying elephants ever actually ate anyone.

So here are some questions.

Do I still take the kids to meet the circus train and see the elephants up close?

Would this be super traumatic for my little guy to be that close to the elephants or will watching the circus parade show the kid that the elephants won't really eat him?

What do I do if an elephant actually does eat somebody?

What will I do if an elephant poops in the street right next to where we're standing?

What if Max thinks that's cool and decides that he can do that in the street too?

Would standing right in front of the chocolate store (on the street where the circus parade will be traveling) and feeding my face with delicious chocolate make Max feel better about the elephants?

What do you think?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

eBay shmeeBay

Alternate title to this post "When good auctions go bad"
Or "What do squirrels eating Nacho cheese Doritos have to do with anything?"

If you've been reading here for a while, you know how much I love eBay. You can buy anything on eBay.

Seriously!

A few years ago, me and the kids invented a new game. It's called "Do they sell it?"
We go to eBay, then type in really random items. Nine times out of ten somebody, somewhere is trying to sell it.
We search for things such as used socks. I just looked, and as of tonight there are 290 listings for used socks.

Some people seemed to have a very high opinion of their used socks. One lady was trying to sell several pairs of her old socks. They looked quite worn and stretched out. The bidding started at $7.99 per pair, and the "buy it now" price was $9.99.

I don't even pay that much for a new pair of socks!

Anyway, back to eBay. I had some items that I wanted to list on eBay today. A while ago, I bought some special software to use to list items on eBay. It has all sorts of fun templates to use for auction listings.
The software worked pretty good the first time I used it, but I've encountered problems since then.
Fast forward to today. I want to list an item. When I first opened the program, it said that there were some new updates to the software, and would I like to download them now?"
Sure. Why not?
I click on the little button, and voila! My software is up to date!

Things went relatively smoothly listing the first item, but then I went to list item #2.

I fill out all the information and upload the photos. It looks great, so I click on "publish auction" then I went to eBay to see how it looked, but instead of listing the second item, it listed the first again.

I now have the same item listed twice.

"No problem" I thought. "I'll just delete it then start over" so I went back to the nifty listing software, re entered everything, and clicked publish, then I get this..........

"This is a trial version of this software. You have used your three free listings. To purchase software, click here"

Say what???

I bought this software at a store. It came in a box and everything.

This happened once before, and I had to go through this lengthy process of finding the original box and instruction manual and the numbers to enter and...................

So instead of going through that again, I just opened an older version of the software, and guess what?

"Your eBay list has been updated to a newer version. This version is out of date, and will not open the updated files."

I can't open the newer version because it's supposedly a trial version, and I can't open the older version because the files have been updated and will only open with the newer version.

Can you see why I was a tad upset???

I went directly to eBay, thinking that I would just delete the entire listing, but do you think I could find the delete button anywhere.

So I decided that since I didn't have a duplicate item to sell on the second listing, I would just change it. I reduced the starting bid to .01 cent and made the shipping free. And then, just to blow off steam, I wrote a bit of a rant in the description.

This is it.



Please don't bid on this item.
I accidentally listed the same item twice! I Only have one item to sell, and it's being sold on the other listing.

I can't find where I can delete this listing!!
I've searched everywhere, and tried to find a way to stop this auction, and the delete button has been hidden so well that I'm pretty sure I'll never find it!
I'm losing my mind!

No matter how loud I yell at my computer and eBay, the listing just won't go away!!

Help!!

So, I just deleted all of the real information on this listing, and plan on letting it run until it ends, and just eat any listing fees that they might throw at me.

I was just going to leave the gallery photo blank, but then I noticed that the first photo is free, and hey, I'm not about to pass up a great deal like that.



If you're wondering about the picture that I have on this listing, it's a photo that my kids took of a squirrel at the Grand Canyon several years ago.They were feeding it tortilla chips, which I know is not good for the little squirrels, due to all of the trans fats and everything, however, I was unaware that my darling offspring were feeding junk food to the wildlife at this lovely national landmark.

What can I say, my kids are sneaky.

Had I known that this was what they were doing, I would have confiscated the chips, and given them a stern lecture (the kids, not the squirrels) and then made the little rugrats eat broccoli or brussell sprouts or something.

As it turned out, I didn't know about the squirrel chip-fest until we got back home and saw the photos, and by then, we were hundreds of miles away, and seriously, what could I do at that point?
The other photo is the result of one of my sneaky kids.


I'm not sure which one took the photo, but there are about twelve more just like it. I don't know who the mustache belongs to. Poor guy, he has no idea that his facial hair has just been posted online.

I had to pay 15 cents to include that second photo, so I hope you enjoy it.

If you notice, the shipping for this item is FREE! That's pretty much because I don't have an actual item to sell on this listing, so basically it won't cost anything for the postage. If you have somehow made it to the end of this description, and you feel like looking at the real listing, you know, the one with the original dress, just go up to the right hand side of your computer screen and click on "view seller's other items" and it will magically appear before your eyes. If you wanted to bid on the dress, (the one in the real listing) that would be great too. The dress is really pretty, the pictures didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, trust me, the dress is gorgeous. Thank you for reading my rant.

Peace out.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Thirteen years ago today

Just a few minutes ago, my baby, my first born, became a teenager.
I can't believe that it's been thirteen years since he was born.

(somewhat long birth story to follow)

My due date was September 7th. I was incredibly huge. The month of August was a difficult one for me because it was such a hot summer, the air conditioning in my car wasn't working properly, my cankles were constantly swollen, and because of the way CJ was wedged into my abdomen, there were times that I was in so much pain from some sort of pinched nerve, that I could hardly walk.
Every morning, for several weeks before he was born, I would walk into work and hear everyone gasp and groan as I waddled my way through the maze of cubicles in our office.
I would hear comments such as "Oh no, she's here!" and "I was really hoping you wouldn't be here today." and "Haven't you had that kid yet?"

Yes, I felt very welcome.

I know that my co workers were only wishing the best for me, because they were the ones who got to witness my misery every day.

Oh, and I might have whined just a little.

As the first of September approached, we all made jokes about how funny it would be if I were to go into labor on Labor day. I was almost counting on it, but as we sat at the family barbecue that day, I had some braxton hicks contractions, but nothing more than that.

I think my favorite part about that time in my life was how everyone had so many great suggestions of things that would put me into labor. My manager at work even offered to saddle up one of her horses and let me ride around for a while, but knowing how uncomfortable I was when DH drove through the gutter in our driveway a little too fast, I passed on the horseback riding.

On my due date, I went in for my regular appointment with my doctor. I was barely dilated, and not effaced at all. I measured at 42cm.
After he checked me he said "With your bone structure, I think you would have difficulty delivering a 5 or 6 pound baby, and I think this baby will be at least ten pounds."
I looked at him in disbelief, and said "You've got to be kidding!"
He replied "No, I don't joke about stuff like this. I'm going to send you for an ultrasound to see if they can give us an idea of how big he is. If they determine that he is at least 9 pounds, I think we should just go ahead and schedule you for a c-section."

I was speechless.

He continued "Tuesday is the day that we do our scheduled surgeries, so if the ultrasound technicians decide that he's too big, I'll just go ahead and schedule you for then."
Then he added "I'm going out of town for the weekend, but I'll be back on Monday. They'll send the results from the test to me, so we'll make a decision then."

The next day was Friday. We had the ultrasound scheduled at the hospital late that afternoon. I cleaned out my desk at work because after CJ was born, I would start working from home.

The ultrasound technicians (there were two. I don't know why) spent some time doing measurements, looking at the baby's innards "There's his stomach, there's his kidneys..........."
Then they saw his ears. For some reason, they really made a big deal about being able to see his ears "Oh look, we can see his ears! How cute! We can't usually see ears at this point."
I asked if they could give us a good look at his feet. "No" one of them said "We have a hard time getting to the feet when you're this far along."
I informed her that I knew exactly where his feet were. They were wedged up under my ribs, but she still wouldn't look for them.
The ultrasound determined that he was approximately 10lbs 2oz.
Wow.
She said she would send the results to my doctor.

We spent the next day just puttering around, making preparations for the baby, we rented a few movies and stuff like that.

Sunday we went to church, and my back started hurting. I couldn't sit very long (plus with my bladder approximately the capacity of a teaspoon, I had to make frequent trips to the ladies room) After a while, my back hurt so bad that I couldn't stand it.
DH took me home, and I tried for several hours to get comfortable, but the pain in my back just wouldn't go away.

Then the contractions started.

They weren't too bad at first, about ten minutes apart, but after a while, they were hurting pretty bad. Then I had six contractions in a row that were about 2 1/2 minutes apart.

We decided that it was time to go to the hospital.

When we got there, a nurse led us to an "evaluation" room, and she hooked me up to a monitor to check my contractions. I mentioned to her that I was supposed to be having a c-section on Tuesday. She left for about 20 minutes, and then when she came back, she checked to see if I was dilated, then she said "You're not in labor. I'm sending you home."
I panicked a little "But what about these contractions? They're really hurting!"
She gives me this really annoyed look and says "You aren't dilated at all. You're NOT in labor."
Then I really panic "But, I'm scheduled to have a c-section on Tuesday!"

Then she glares at me and says "Well, you're NOT ON THE LIST."
I tried to explain to her about the size of the baby from the ultrasound and how my doctor said that if he was over 9 pounds I would be having a c-section.............
She said "I can't find any test results or paperwork that would back that up!"

I don't think she believed me.

Then before I knew it, she had given me a shot of morphine in my hip. "This will take care of those contractions. Go home and eat something light, then rest."
We went home, I had some soup and then fell asleep. I slept for hours. It was the first time in months that I had been able to sleep that long.

The next morning, we decided that we would both take the day off from work. As soon as my doctor's office opened I called to see what we needed to do. My doctor wasn't in, and he wouldn't be in all day. I told the receptionist that I was supposed to be having a c-section the next day, and I just needed to know what to do. She said that she would find out what was going on, and call me back in a while. About 2 minutes later, she called back and said "Now, are you aware that your insurance won't pay for an elective c-section?"

I hung up the phone and burst into tears.

Then I looked at DH and said "We are going to the mall. We will walk around that mall until I'm in labor. I will walk around there all day if I have to."

We went to the mall that was just a few blocks from the hospital. We walked down one side of the mall, but remember that shot of morphine I'd had in my hip the day before?

My hip was so sore that I couldn't walk.

We finally made it to the end of the mall by See's candies. I sat on the bench and cried while DH went into See's and bought me some chocolate.
"He's never coming out!' I sobbed "I'm going to be pregnant forever!"
DH tried to explain to me how this would be impossible, and that I would not be pregnant for the rest of my life.
But being hormonal, and uncomfortable I didn't believe him.

We walked slowly back to the car and drove home, where there was a message on the answering machine from my doctor wanting me to call him.

I've never dialed a phone so fast in my life!

I got the machine.

He finally called back and said "Looks like you're going to have a baby tomorrow!'
Then I burst into tears again "But when I called your office today, they said that my insurance wouldn't pay for an elective c-section!"
Then he got upset "WHO told you that? This is NOT an elective c-section!"
He told us to be at the hospital at 5:30 the next morning, and to not eat anything after midnight.

That night, I was so excited that I couldn't sleep. I think I might have only slept about 2 hours before it was time to get up and go to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital, we were greeted warmly by the nurse at the desk. As she was leading us to my room, we passed a labor room where a woman was screaming hysterically. I must have had a look of horror on my face because the nurse looked at me and said simply "She's going unmedicated.................by choice."

When we got to the room, I changed in to the hospital gown, and they began to get me prepped for surgery. It was then that I realized that I had bought the wrong size videotape for the camcorder. The doctor assured DH that they wouldn't start before he got back, and he ran to buy some new videotape.
Before I got my epidural, the doctor said he could let me go ahead and experience labor if I wanted to, but he still thought that I would still need to have a c-section. I declined the offer, then he checked me one more time to see if there was any chance we could do this the regular way. He shook his head and said we should just go in after him. I got an epidural and when it started working, I was wheeled down the hall.

When I got in the operating room, I was so nervous that I couldn't stop shaking. I really panicked when the nurse started cleaning my abdomen, and I could feel it.
I asked her "Should I be feeling that?" she said "No." and then started poking me with pins. Apparently with an epidural, you can still feel things, just not pain.

I had told my husband that he didn't need to watch the surgery, so he was sitting by my head. I was still so nervous that I was shaking uncontrollably. The nurse assured me that it was the medication, and brought me several warm blankets. DH sat there patiently, and then asked if it was okay if he watched the surgery. (I really didn't think he would want to watch) When he stood up he said they already had me open, then I relaxed, because I wasn't feeling any pain.

It took several minutes for them to get him out. I remember someone pushing really hard on the top of my stomach.

Then I heard the cutest little cry.

The doctor walked around the curtain and held him up for me to see.

I remember seeing chunky rolls of fat. Everywhere. By now, CJ was screaming, causing his forehead to wrinkle, and I remember thinking that even his forehead was chubby.

The nurses cleaned him up, and weighed him.

Ten pounds, six ounces.

A nurse came over and told me that I had just given birth to a two month old baby.

The doctor and a few of the other nurses kept telling me that we did the right thing (with the c-section) CJ had a good sized head, and they said that there was no way I could have got him safely out the regular way.
DH got to hold CJ briefly, and then he was having some difficulty breathing, so they took him to the nursery and put him on oxygen.

They must have given me some pretty good drugs about then, because I don't remember much of what happened, until they were moving me on to the hospital bed, and I freaked out because I didn't think they had taken out my epidural.

As I was being wheeled in to the recovery room, my nurse asked if I had been able to hold the baby. I said no, and so she stopped by the nursery and went in and got him. I was only able to hold him for a minute because the nurse from the nursery came out after her "Hey, he needs to be on oxygen!" And my nurse said "She needs to hold her baby!"

Later, after I had been moved from the recovery room to the regular room, DH, my mom and MIL were there with me. After a while, I finally asked DH to go check on CJ. When he came back, he was wheeling the baby cart with CJ in it. He handed him to me.

As I held him I just kept thinking that he was perfect. I couldn't believe how beautiful he was. He had dark hair, chubby cheeks, and the most amazing chocolate brown eyes. (Probably had something to do with all the chocolate I ate while I was pregnant) He was very alert, and watched me closely as I talked to him.
I unwrapped his blanket and kissed his little toes.
And then he started screaming.
And screaming.
The nurse came in and told me I should probably wrap him back up because he didn't like the cold. (hey, I was a new mom, and still on medication, how was I to know)

The next day when our pediatrician came to see me, her comment about CJ was "There's all those tiny little babies in the nursery, and then there's your kid. He's a moose!"

CJ is a great kid! He's smart, he's handsome, and he's really tall. (he's like 2" taller than me) and so far, he hasn't seemed to have had too much teenage brain loss.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY CJ!!!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

But I also want to wear THAT shirt!

Dear Preschool teacher,

Yes, Max does own another shirt. In fact he owns several other shirts.

He just really likes this one.

Signed,
Max's Mom

P.S. I promise, I really do wash it from time to time.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Careful, don't step on that cerebellum

In two more days, I will become the mother of a teenager.

For the last few months, we have explained to CJ that when he became a teenager, he might suddenly lose his brain.




I have begged him to keep track of his brain, and he will always say to me "Mom, I will lose my brain when I turn thirteen. I don't think I can stop it from happening. It would go against the laws of nature.

And while I understand that this is probably the case, I still have hope that he might be able to avoid this teenage brain loss.
Yesterday, as we were (again) discussing this subject, I had an idea, and I said to DH "Do you think that if we started wrapping duct tape around his head that he might not lose his brain?

To which CJ replied "Mom, it's going to happen. Get used to it. It's happening to everyone at school, they're all losing their brains. In fact they're losing them all over the hallway of the school, we can hardly walk to class without slipping on a few..............."

At least he's still got his sense of humor.

The Stand off-Dirty dishes

Our children are expected to do a few chores around the house.
These include setting the table before dinner, clearing the table after dinner, taking the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and putting them away in their designated spots and then filling the dishwasher with dirty dishes.
(Actually putting
dishwashing detergent in the dishwasher and turning it on is also an added bonus)
Sometimes, our children forget that these jobs are theirs to do, and so occasionally, they might require a gentle reminder.

Sometimes, the kids won't get the dishes done the night before, especially if they have a lot of homework. Understanding how important the homework is, (and knowing if they don't do it at that moment, that I will miss out on some of my sleep because I'll be staying up late giving them gentle reminders, and nudging them awake so they can get the homework done)

Last week was one of those weeks. Lots of homework. That combined with a few extracurricular activities made it easier for me just to do the dishes myself.

Friday after school, I took the kids to
Tarzhay so that Aaron could spend the gift card that he got for his birthday. He couldn't find anything for under $10. I told him that I would lend him the extra three dollars that he would need for the item he wanted. He promised to do the dishes, and mop and clean the entire kitchen. (because he was just that grateful) (and he loves to clean)
When we got home, I again informed the kids that there were some dirty dishes in the sink, and that they should be getting them clean. I also reminded Aaron about the deal we made at
Tarzhay.
Since it was now the weekend, and
Brielle and Aaron were now officially "off track" from school for the next three weeks, I saw no reason why the dishes could not be done. I also wasn't feeling very well, and needed to rest (Aaron came home from school sick on Thursday, and must have shared it with me, because I felt lousy all weekend) (The way I felt probably contributed to the poor judgement I had concerning the loaning of money to Aaron at Tarzhay) (But in my defense, the kid really does like to clean, so I thought that he would probably keep his end of the bargain)

Friday when we went to bed, the dishes were still not done. Since I had done them several times during the week, there was no way that I was going to do them again.

"Hey kids, tomorrow morning, the dishes need to be done, and the kitchen cleaned up, Got it?"

"Yes, dear mother, we shall do as you ask!"

But alas, the dishes remained dirty, and were piling higher in the sink.

Saturday we had a family reunion to go to at the park. I needed to make a salad. The bowl and the serving spoon I needed were not clean.

I washed them by hand.

I again reminded my dear offspring of their duty to clean the dishes.

I also pointed out that we were now going to be late for the reunion because I had to take the time to wash the dishes before I could use them, and if they had done their job, we could have left 20 minutes ago.

They promised to do the dishes when they got home.

We went to the park and had a lovely time visiting with family. (Right up until the point where we were leaving and Max had a complete melt down because he had only been down the slide 234 times, and I wouldn't let him go 235. We hauled him out of the park kicking and screaming "
Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! I ALSO GO ON THE SLIDE ONE MORE TIME!!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!!" which I knew wouldn't really happen, because the last 8 times he went down were supposed to be the "last time")

When we got home, I again gently reminded the children that they had a job to do, and also showed them that there were now more dishes to be done and they would either have to run two loads in the dishwasher, or wash some by hand.

That evening after dinner, the dishes still weren't done. I pointed out to the children that we had used the last of our clean plates, and we would need those to be washed so we could eat off of them for dinner the next day.

Sunday after church, I took a nap, but first reminding the kids to do the dishes.

When it came time for them to set the table for dinner, they put out paper plates and cups.

I, on the other hand, needed to hand wash two pans (one for spaghetti, one for sauce) and the garlic press, which is more easily washed in the dishwasher.

After dinner I again reminded the kids that the dishes needed to be done. They agreed. It was Sunday evening.
CJ did have some homework to do, but the other two rugrats are out of school for the next three weeks, so homework was no longer an excuse.
I don't know where they went to hide. I'm quite sure it was the huge pile of dishes in the sink that frightened them away.

They finally won.

I did a load of dishes. I was just so tired of reminding them, and besides, I needed clean dishes.

This morning, I again told the kids that they needed to get the rest of the dishes done. Again they agreed.
This afternoon, I again told the kids that they needed to get the rest of the dishes done. Again they agreed.

I did another load of dishes.

Brielle and CJ must have felt a little bad, because they started doing the dishes after dinner, but were distracted, and I finished them.

For those of you keeping track, that's load #3

Now here's the deal.

For the rest of the week, whenever they ask me to do something, I will say:

"Sure!, I'd love to do that for you!"
or,
"Absolutely! I would love to take you there!"
and
"That sounds like a fabulous activity! Sure we can do that!"

And then...............................


Nothing.


They want to do fun activities while they are out of school. They want to have friends over, they want to go to the fair (which would probably be a great activity so we can show Max what kind of animals really live on a farm) They want to go to a movie.


Too bad.


Now I have two more things to say.

1. Please don't leave me a mean comment about my style of parenting, I will just make fun of you on my next post. (Plus, remember, I was sick all weekend)

2. My children will probably not remember the events of the last few days exactly the same way I did. They may even laugh at the phrase "gentle reminder" however, I would like to point out to them that I did do 3 loads of dishes, while they did not (except for
Brielle and CJ who emptied part of the dishwasher) and also, this is my blog and I can write whatever I want.

Monday, September 8, 2008

I WON!!!!

Friday I wrote about how I was waiting for something.
Yes, it was an Ebay auction, and Yes, I WON!!

With 7 seconds left, I jumped in and made my bid, sniping the item away from the poor unsuspecting person who previously had the highest bid.

Too bad for them.

OK, maybe I do feel a bit sorry for them. Goodness knows I've had that happen to me before. I'll put in my bid with like 4 or 5 seconds left, I'm then told that I'm the highest bidder, only to have someone bid again with 2 seconds left, then I lose.

Or, I put in my bid with just a few seconds left, only to find that my internet connection is slow and my bid gets in after the bidding has closed.

I really hate when that happens.

But still, everything is great, because as I mentioned before ............

I WON!!!

There's nothing like getting something you need for less than 1/4 the original cost.

I LOVE ebay!

And I'm glad that I had such a great day Friday, because so far, today isn't looking so good.

By 9:00 this morning, I had the opportunity to do an extra load of laundry, give Max a bath, take another shower myself, and mop the bathroom floor.

Apparently, Max isn't feeling well, and let me know this by throwing up all over the front of my shirt, his pajamas, and the bathroom floor.

After we got everything cleaned up, Max took me in to the bathroom and said "Mom, you need to make a hole in my potty."
"What do you mean I have to make a hole in your potty?"
"You also need to make a hole in the bottom of my potty so I can flush it!"

This looks like it's going to be a fun day.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Anticipation...................

(If that title makes you think about ketchup, then I have a pretty good idea of how old you are)

I'm waiting.

My palms are sweaty.

I'm even trembling a bit.


One hour and three minutes left to go.

My heart rate increases every time I think about it.

I have to be ready.


I'm SO nervous!! Why do I get so nervous every time I do this???


I'm a wreck. I've been pacing around the house all morning long.

Waiting.



Hoping.




Trying not to get my hopes up.


But I can't help but daydream about what might happen. I'm hoping that I'm just fast enough and lucky enough to make this thing happen.

But, the waiting is killing me.


And if I get my hopes up, and then things don't work out..............................


No, I don't want to think about it.

I can't think about it. It makes me crazy.




CRAZY I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!




I've been doing what I do best when I'm under stress.



Eating.



Unfortunately, I finished off all the chocolate in the house yesterday, and so the only food choices that I have left are healthy things such as carrot sticks and wheat bread.

What I would give for a dove bar right about now.

With nuts.

Or better yet, a great big slab of Costco chocolate cake.

Or even better than that, a big slab of Cheesecake Factory white chocolate caramel macadamia nut cheesecake.

Yes, I think that would do it.

Maybe I could cover it with chocolate too.



55 minutes and 42 seconds to go.


Now I'm shaking. My pulse rate has gone up. I'm thinking that this should count as some sort of cardio workout or something.

I hope I don't pass out, because then I might miss it.


I briefly thought about having a Cherry vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper, but with my current heart rate, I think the last thing I need is a can of caffeine.

Waiting.



Waiting..........



Waiting....................



Thinking about what I will need to do. If I do it too soon, I could miss out. Too late, and I could miss it completely.


You would think that for as many times as I have been through this, that I would get used to this, that I wouldn't get as nervous.

Experience doesn't help. It just makes me more aware of what I must do, and of what can go wrong.

I'm very nervous.


Now, don't get me wrong, if I miss out on this, it won't ruin my life or anything, but it will probably ruin my day. And quite possibly my weekend too.

And I really want to have a good weekend.


I've been trying to do some work while I'm waiting, but I can't concentrate.

I have to be ready.

I've been distracted before, and like an hour later, I realize that I missed the whole thing.


I couldn't handle it if that happened this time.



I need to be ready.



42 minutes and 1 second.




I wish my hands would stop shaking.




Oh, this is ridiculous!!!! Why do I get like this?????




35 minutes and 9 seconds left.



I need to go walk around a bit.


I'm back.


27 minutes and 52 seconds.



Go ahead, guess.


Guess what I'm waiting for.



Only those who have previously gone through this experience will truly understand.



This is exhausting. When this is over I'm going to need a nap.


So, have you guessed what I'm doing?

Do you know what I'm waiting for???

Would you care to guess, or should I tell you.




21 minutes and 53 seconds.


Wish me luck.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

If you chance to meet a frown............

Max: "Mom, I want a frownie."
Me: "Why Max, are you sad?"
Max "No, I want a frownie. Please I can have a frownie?"

I frown at Max.

Max: "Mom, please! Pretty please with sugar on top! I can have a frownie?"

Me: "A what?"

Max : "A frownie! A frownie! (jumping up and down) "Please-a-please-a-please-a-please, I also do need a frownie!"

Me: "OK Max, let's see you frown."
Max: "No! I also not frown! I also want a frownie!!"

Me: (singing) "If you chance to meet a frown, do not let it stay, quickly turn it upside down" (I pick up Max and turn him upside down) "and smile that frown away"

Max: "NO! I NOT BE UPSIDE DOWN! I BE UPSIDE UP! MAKE ME UPSIDE UP!!"
I turn him over and stand him on his feet.

Max: "I also do need a frownie."
Me: "Max, honey, I don't know what you're talking about."

Max takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen and points to these........................












"frownies?"


Which is kind of strange, because brownies always make me smile:0)