Boredom busters for kids, or How to get yourself grounded in three easy steps!

Hey kids!!
It's summertime! School is out and pretty soon you will be faced with that age old problem......

SUMMER BOREDOM

(dun dun dun)

Do you enjoy the smell of burning machinery and burning rubber combined?
Do you enjoy seeing that vein on your dear mother's face pop out so far that it looks like it's going to burst?
Do you enjoy having different appliance repairmen visit your house on a regular basis?

Well kids, have I got an activity for you!!

First, clean your room. I know this is usually something that you don't do voluntarily, however, it will confuse your parents. They will be so shocked and happy that it will intensify their reaction to the real activity that you have planned!

Second, take all of the blankets and sheets in your room and stuff them in the washing machine. May I suggest, more specifically,

(may be sung to the tune of "Twelve days of Christmas")

Three LARGE afgans
Two handmade blankets
One throw blanket
One set of sheets
And a twin sized Spongebob comforter!

Be sure to use all of your weight to pack them down in the washing machine so that the lid will close.
Sit on the lid if necessary.

Next, put in the soap, turn on the washing machine and wait for the fun to begin!

Now, here's the tricky part, when the washing machine starts making a really obnoxious noise and you start to smell the burning machinery/rubber smell, instead of telling anyone, just close the door to the laundry room.

The washing machine might actually stop on it's own. In fact, it will probably stop and not start again.

Ever!

Now here's the really fun part, when your mom starts to walk into the laundry room, casually say "Hey mom, you might not want to go in there, it smells really bad!"

Naturally, your mother will want to investigate any and every bad smell in the house, and will go in the laundry room anyway. Now is the time to tell her about the funny noise and how the washing machine "just stopped on it's own."

See the look of horror on your mother's face when she pushes every button on the washing machine only to discover that there are no signs of life left in this dear (not so old) appliance.

Watch as your mother searches the house, looking for the warranty to the washing machine, hoping that the warranty is not void if children are allowed to use the appliance.
Listen to your mother mutter under her breath something about never really seeing any rule that specifically says that children can't be sold on eBay.

Making family memories is so much fun!!!

Next you will get to help your possibly screaming at this point mother wring out the contents of the washing machine and carry them to the bathtub while trying not to drip water all over the house!!

Be forewarned, your mother may tell you that the money designated for the trip to the amusement park will be paid to the appliance repair man.
And there will be no amusement happening for you this summer!

Good times.

One last thing, this project is so much more fun if it happens after 11:00 p.m.

Try it!!

Go ahead, I DARE YOU!!!




This morning just before calling the repairman, I tried one more time to turn on the washing machine and lucky for the children, it worked.
We have spent the day rinsing and drying the all of the bedding removed last night, except this time I have separated it into 4 different loads.

Yes, I am relieved.

Adding it up

Number of times I hit the snooze button this morning - 3
Number of times I had to ask kids to get out of bed - 3
Number of children I took to swimming lessons - 2
Number of minutes late to swimming lessons - 3
Number of times Max coughed while at swimming lessons - 892
Number of comments I got from other moms whenever Max coughed - 15
Number of tissues used to wipe Max's nose while at swimming lessons - 3
Number of stickers given to my kids by the greeter at Wal-Mart - 3
Number of times Max coughed while at Wal-Mart - 892
Number of times Max wiped his nose on his sleeve because I was out of tissues - 18
Number of Lifesavers given to Max in an attempt to calm the cough - 14
Number of times I told the kids that I was not going to buy the box of cookies at Wal-Mart - 892
Number of Wal-Mart cashiers who commented on Max's cough - 1
Number of times I asked the kids to load the dishwasher - 5
Number of times I loaded the dishwasher - 1
Number of times I asked CJ if he was sure that he packed everything that he needed for Scout camp tonight - 5
Number of items CJ forgot to pack for Scout camp - 2
Number of times I drove home from the Scout leader's house to retrieve said items - 1
Number of times I embarrassed my teenage son by giving him a hug in front of his friends - 1
Number of times this month I've taken Max to the doctor only to be told that there's nothing wrong with him - 2
Number of times Max coughed in the doctor's office - 0
Number of times Max coughed on the way home from the doctor's office 892
Number of co-pays given to the doctor's office in the last month - 2
Number of Strep cultures that have come back negative - 2
Number of Cold Stone's "Gotta have it" size ice creams I could have had with the money I spent on doctor visit co-pays this month - 7-9 (depending on the mix ins)
Number of times today Aaron tried to bring a potato bug home as a pet - 2
Number of times Aaron brought a potato bug into the car - 1
Number of times I told Aaron to put the potato bug back where it came from - 2
Number of complaints I got about what I was fixing for dinner - 1
Number of slices of cheese Max ate for dinner - 6
Number of things other than cheese that Max ate for dinner - 0
Number of times Max coughed during dinner - 892
Number of shoes found under my kitchen counter - 7
Number of times I've asked for the shoes to be put away - 892
Number of weeks the kids have been off track from school - 2
Number of weeks left until the kids go back to school - 1
Number of times this week I asked the kids to stop fighting - 892
Number of boxes of Girl Scout cookies I have hidden - 3
Number of things that were on today's to-do list - 12
Number of things on today's to-do list that I accomplished - 0
Number of items I did during the day that I added to my to-do list so I could cross them off - 5
Number of items cluttering up the floor of the basement - 94
Number of times I've tripped over all the stuff on the floor in the basement - 94
Number of times I've yelled kindly asked for the items on the floor of the basement to be put away - 94
Number of minutes I will be able to sleep in tomorrow morning - 0
Number of children who will be expected to help with yardwork tomorrow - 4
Number of children who will complain about helping with yardwork - 3
Number of times I will actually feel bad about making the kids help with the yardwork - 0
Number of weeds that need to be cleared out of the flower beds - 876,464,346,354,432,431
Number of times I wished that I had bought the cookies at Wal-Mart - 13
Number of times I almost stopped writing this post because it seemed too lame - 4
Number of times I decided I didn't care how lame the post was, and hit the publish button anyway - 1

The Stand off-Dirty dishes

Our children are expected to do a few chores around the house.
These include setting the table before dinner, clearing the table after dinner, taking the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and putting them away in their designated spots and then filling the dishwasher with dirty dishes.
(Actually putting dishwashing detergent in the dishwasher and turning it on is also an added bonus)
Sometimes, our children forget that these jobs are theirs to do, and so occasionally, they might require a gentle reminder.

Sometimes, the kids won't get the dishes done the night before, especially if they have a lot of homework. Understanding how important the homework is, (and knowing if they don't do it at that moment, that I will miss out on some of my sleep because I'll be staying up late giving them gentle reminders, and nudging them awake so they can get the homework done)

Last week was one of those weeks. Lots of homework. That combined with a few extracurricular activities made it easier for me just to do the dishes myself.

Friday after school, I took the kids to Tarzhay so that Aaron could spend the gift card that he got for his birthday. He couldn't find anything for under $10. I told him that I would lend him the extra three dollars that he would need for the item he wanted. He promised to do the dishes, and mop and clean the entire kitchen. (because he was just that grateful) (and he loves to clean)
When we got home, I again informed the kids that there were some dirty dishes in the sink, and that they should be getting them clean. I also reminded Aaron about the deal we made at Tarzhay.
Since it was now the weekend, and Brielle and Aaron were now officially "off track" from school for the next three weeks, I saw no reason why the dishes could not be done. I also wasn't feeling very well, and needed to rest (Aaron came home from school sick on Thursday, and must have shared it with me, because I felt lousy all weekend) (The way I felt probably contributed to the poor judgement I had concerning the loaning of money to Aaron at Tarzhay) (But in my defense, the kid really does like to clean, so I thought that he would probably keep his end of the bargain)

Friday when we went to bed, the dishes were still not done. Since I had done them several times during the week, there was no way that I was going to do them again.

"Hey kids, tomorrow morning, the dishes need to be done, and the kitchen cleaned up, Got it?"

"Yes, dear mother, we shall do as you ask!"

But alas, the dishes remained dirty, and were piling higher in the sink.

Saturday we had a family reunion to go to at the park. I needed to make a salad. The bowl and the serving spoon I needed were not clean.

I washed them by hand.

I again reminded my dear offspring of their duty to clean the dishes.

I also pointed out that we were now going to be late for the reunion because I had to take the time to wash the dishes before I could use them, and if they had done their job, we could have left 20 minutes ago.

They promised to do the dishes when they got home.

We went to the park and had a lovely time visiting with family. (Right up until the point where we were leaving and Max had a complete melt down because he had only been down the slide 234 times, and I wouldn't let him go 235. We hauled him out of the park kicking and screaming "Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!! I ALSO GO ON THE SLIDE ONE MORE TIME!!! Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase!!" which I knew wouldn't really happen, because the last 8 times he went down were supposed to be the "last time")

When we got home, I again gently reminded the children that they had a job to do, and also showed them that there were now more dishes to be done and they would either have to run two loads in the dishwasher, or wash some by hand.

That evening after dinner, the dishes still weren't done. I pointed out to the children that we had used the last of our clean plates, and we would need those to be washed so we could eat off of them for dinner the next day.

Sunday after church, I took a nap, but first reminding the kids to do the dishes.

When it came time for them to set the table for dinner, they put out paper plates and cups.

I, on the other hand, needed to hand wash two pans (one for spaghetti, one for sauce) and the garlic press, which is more easily washed in the dishwasher.

After dinner I again reminded the kids that the dishes needed to be done. They agreed. It was Sunday evening. CJ did have some homework to do, but the other two rugrats are out of school for the next three weeks, so homework was no longer an excuse.
I don't know where they went to hide. I'm quite sure it was the huge pile of dishes in the sink that frightened them away.

They finally won.

I did a load of dishes. I was just so tired of reminding them, and besides, I needed clean dishes.

This morning, I again told the kids that they needed to get the rest of the dishes done. Again they agreed.
This afternoon, I again told the kids that they needed to get the rest of the dishes done. Again they agreed.

I did another load of dishes.

Brielle and CJ must have felt a little bad, because they started doing the dishes after dinner, but were distracted, and I finished them.

For those of you keeping track, that's load #3

Now here's the deal.

For the rest of the week, whenever they ask me to do something, I will say:

"Sure!, I'd love to do that for you!"
or,
"Absolutely! I would love to take you there!"
and
"That sounds like a fabulous activity! Sure we can do that!"

And then...............................


Nothing.


They want to do fun activities while they are out of school. They want to have friends over, they want to go to the fair (which would probably be a great activity so we can show Max what kind of animals really live on a farm) They want to go to a movie.


Too bad.


Now I have two more things to say.

1. Please don't leave me a mean comment about my style of parenting, I will just make fun of you on my next post. (Plus, remember, I was sick all weekend)

2. My children will probably not remember the events of the last few days exactly the same way I did. They may even laugh at the phrase "gentle reminder" however, I would like to point out to them that I did do 3 loads of dishes, while they did not (except for Brielle and CJ who emptied part of the dishwasher) and also, this is my blog and I can write whatever I want.

Attempting to cook (and other disasters)

Today was our fourth day off track from school. The weather outside was very cold and rainy, and I decided that since the fighting was beginning to escalate, we needed an activity to build family unity.
I had this idea that we should make some bread. I had planned on making chili for dinner, and I thought that fresh bread be great with chili.
Now, just to preface this, I have never made bread before.

Never.

Nada.

I remembered buying some yeast and wheat flour not too long ago, and so I got online and googled recipes for wheat bread.
Every recipe I found required honey.
We don't have any honey.
I suppose that I could have (in theory) gone to the store and bought some honey, but that would have required me to actually change into something other than my old comfy sweats and possibly comb my hair and put on some make up. Quite frankly, I just didn't have it in me to do those things.

What?

Did you just call me lazy?

Hey! I'm about to make bread! Isn't that enough for you people?!?!

Anyway, I continue looking for a recipe, and find one that says that it's easy. It didn't require kneading.
I knew this was the one!
I took it into the kitchen, and asked the kids if they would like to make some bread today.

They cheered!

(well, okay, not really, but they did express some interest in the activity.)

CJ got out my mixer, Brielle, got out the brown sugar, and Aaron got out the flour. Isn't it so nice how my kids are always so eager to help?

The recipe called for both white and wheat flour, but alas, when I looked in the cannister of white flour, there was only about 1/2 cup left.
"No problem" I thought "I know there is a brand new bag of flour in the kitchen closet."

I went to the kitchen closet, and became very frustrated. It was a mess. Apparently, when I gave the children things to put away in the closet, instead of hearing me say "Please put this AWAY in the closet, and PLEASE be sure to put it on the shelf." They heard "Toss it in the closet." and later, "Toss it on the pile of stuff on the bottom of the closet." and "Oh, and if something tips over and slides off the pile, don't pick it up, just leave it there on the floor to be crushed beneath the next bag of canned food to be dumped on top of this pile!"
Which is really strange, because I'm pretty sure that I didn't say any of those things.

We had a (another) quick family meeting about the closet, and I might have yelled a bit very calmly expressed my desire that they re-organize the closet.

Immediately.

They quickly got the closet cleaned up, because they are just helpful that way after mom blows a gasket kindly requests their assistance, and we were able to find the new bag of white flour, which had been on the bottom shelf.

I opened the bag, and there were other things inside that were not flour.
Unfortunately, the flour had to go.

Now, I know at this point, somebody, somewhere is dying to tell me "Just sift it, those little critters will come right out, and they won't hurt you anyway."

I'm so sorry people. I. Just. Can't. Do. It.

The bag was brand new too!
The children suddenly made themselves scarce. I'm not sure if they were just tired of helping, or if they were sensing my growing frustration with the whole project. Not that I express my frustration by taking it out on innocent bystanders, because I don't. Really.

I decided that I would just use the wheat flour to make up for the missing white flour.

I got the rest of the ingredients together.

At this time I do need to mention something about yeast.

It scares me.

Mostly because, from what I hear, it is rather temperamental. Has to be mixed with warm water, not too hot or you'll kill it, not too cold, or it won't activate.................can't let it sit too long, or not long enough. Oh come on!
This might have been one of the reasons that I've never made bread before.

I finally get the first 5 ingredients mixed, just like the recipe said, then it got to raise.
In a warm place it said.

The house is kind of chilly, and it is taking forever to raise. Thinking that I was being clever, I turned on the oven to a very low temperature, and when it heated, I turned it off then sat the pans on top of the stove, where it was now warm.
I wait.
And wait.
And wait some more.
The dough has raised slightly.
I wait some more.
I look at the package of yeast to see if it says how long this will take.
I notice that the "best if used by" date is over a year ago.

Oops.

It finally raised a bit, so I stirred in the other two ingredients, greased my pans, and poured the mixture into the pans.
Just as I was finished filling the pans, I realized that I hadn't put the rest of the flour in.

(insert G-rated cuss word of you choice)

It did look like the dough was a bit thin. But then again how was I to know, because seriously, I'VE NEVER MADE BREAD BEFORE!

Dump the stuff back in the mixing bowl, add the flour, wash, dry and re-grease the pans.

Now the dough is VERY stiff. The recipe said not to knead the dough, so I carefully scooped spoonfuls into the pans. I probably should have formed the bread into nicely shaped loaves, but at this point, I was SO finished with this project.
I then sat my pans filled with lumpy clumps of dough on top of the counter to raise.

The dough almost doubled in size, so I baked it.
I do need to say, that the house smelled divine!

When the timer dinged, I took the pans out of the oven.

Three loaves of the UGLIEST bread anyone has ever seen.
Seriously.............Butt ugly.
I thought about taking pictures, just so I could prove how ugly this bread really was, but I decided not to. I would have been way too embarrassed to post them anyway.
Yes, they really were that ugly!

But it smelled good! Just really scary looking.

As I have said before, the faint sound of the timer dinging will bring my children from anywhere in the house, and they descended upon the ugly loaves.

They loved it! They ate every bit of it! They acknowledged that it was rather funny looking, but went ahead and ate it!
This tells me one of two things;

If you put enough butter on something, it becomes edible.
Or
If you don't feed your children for a while, they will eat anything.

It did taste pretty good, it was just quite heavy. And ugly.

The ironic part of the day was that I ended up having to change out of my comfy sweats and go to the store anyway, because (remember that chili I was making for dinner?)
We were out of meat.
And beans.

While I was there, I bought more flour and yeast, because the kids said that "we" should try it again tomorrow.

"We'll" see.

Three weeks out of school........again

Remember back in March, when my kids were out of school for three weeks? (due to us being on year round school)

Well guess what folks??

It's that time again!!

As of today, the kids are officially "Off Track" for three whole weeks!

Do you remember how bored the poor little darlings were the last time?

And how I so kindly arranged for all sorts of fun activities to keep them busy?

(Do you think I could come up with any more links?)

Well, I have, yet again, planned some very fun and educational activities that I will force my children will be incredibly anxious to participate in!

#1 on my list................Plant and care for a garden.
This is something we have never done before. When I told the kids about this plan, the were ever so excited!

Well, maybe excited might be too strong of a word to describe their feelings on the subject.

Then CJ made a very good observation.
"Mom..........um............ we don't really know anything about planting a garden."
to which I reply "The internet is such a wonderful thing! Go google how to grow a garden!"

Does anyone know where we could find the book "Gardening for dummies?"
Does such a book even exist?

#2 on my list..................



Are you ready?




It's a good one!




I'm feeling rather clever right now!




Here it is!!!




#2. I will have my three oldest kids potty train Max!

I thought it was a fabulous idea, but when I told the kids that they would be doing this, they gave me strange looks and made these weird whiny noises.
CJ even had the audacity to ask "Why. Would we. Want. To do. That?"
To which I replied "Because it will be such an incredible bonding experience between you two as brothers!"
CJ wasn't buying it. He said, "I feel bonded enough to him already."

I thought I was being really clever. If they all worked together as a team, they could have Max out of diapers in no time at all!
Right?
I just think that, as kids themselves, they might have some good ideas on how to motivate little Max to use the potty.


Okay, so do you want to know the real reason I want them to do the potty training?


One word.........................



Payback.

I potty trained all three of them. Three stubborn, diaper lovin' little tots. Do you know how much poop that is?

What do you think? Isn't this a fantabulous idea?


P.S. To my sister in law. If this works, I will let you borrow my kids for a few days (or longer) to help you with potty training that cute little niece of mine!

Am I nice or what?

Three weeks out of school-Week #1-part 1

Alternate title to this post
"I like pears!"

My kids are on year round school, so every 8 or 9 weeks, they have 3 weeks off.
Monday began week #1.

First of all, I would like to tell about this sweet little fantasy that I have every time the kids go off track from school.
I see our family all working together towards a common goal.

Getting the house clean.

I see my sweet children being ever so willing to help in any way I ask, because, of (in my fantasy) they share the same dream that I do. Everything in the house would be put in it's place, closets organized, toys put away, laundry clean, folded and put away, dishes sparkling clean.
We are all happily working together, singing as we go. The sun shines brightly while birds, butterflies and other cute little forest animals come in through the windows, helping with the work in any way possible, all the time singing, and helping and....................

We interrupt this fantasy to slap you upside the head with a great big painful dose of reality!

OUCH!

I'm sorry, where was I?
Oh yeah, cleaning.

I made a list of things that would be accomplished while the children were out of school for three weeks.
Did I mention that yet?
They are out of school for three weeks!

THREE WEEKS!!!

Anyway;
#1 Everyone's rooms get cleaned.
#2 Storage room cleaned out and organized.
#3 Paint the living room.

I thought the list looked reasonable. #1 seemed somewhat do-able.
About two years ago, we told the kids that if they got their rooms clean, for every day they stayed clean we would give them a dollar.
Long story short, in two years, between three kids, we payed out exactly $17.00
Now the kids have goals. Brielle wants a new desk for her room, and Aaron wants an iPod.
They are doing a pretty good job cleaning their rooms so far.
CJ's room got clean a few weeks ago when DH put the Playstation II away until his room was clean enough to see the floor.
It's amazing how well the children work when properly motivated.

I only wish that "A clean house makes a happy mommy" would be motivation enough for them.

#2 is something I've been wanting to do since we moved in.
#3 probably won't happen, but I can dream can't I? (at least until reality hits me......again)

We (mostly ME) managed to get all of the kids old clothes out of the storage room, sort them and donate boxes of clothes to DI. We also got 4 boxes of hand me downs for nieces, cousins and friends.

Wednesday morning, I decided to reward the children for their help, and I made them French Toast for breakfast.
Later that afternoon, my cousin called to see if Aaron could come over and play with her son.

YES! YES! A thousand times YES!

I ask Aaron to finish loading the dishwasher while I got my shoes on.

Sidenote: One thing I need to explain is that every time Aaron goes over to my cousin's house, he asks for canned pears, and my sweet cousin will feed them to him. He won't eat the same exact pears at our house, only at hers.

As I drive Aaron over to play with his cousin, I tell him,
"Do not ask for pears!"
Aaron:" What if they offer them to me?"
ME: "If they offer them to you, that's fine, but while you are in their house, you are not allowed to say the word pears. You are not allowed to open the pantry door and stare at the pears. You are not allowed to say "Can I eat something that rhymes with stairs!" Don't think about them, don't draw pictures of them, don't even think about drawing pictures of yourself thinking about them!"
(I don't have anything against him eating pears, I just don't want him going over there and begging for food)
As I dropped him off, I old my cousin about the pear conversation we had in the car. She looked at her watch and said "OK it's 2:20, let's see how long he lasts."
Later, when I picked him up, she told me he had lasted exactly 40 minutes before he asked for the pears. She said he ate two big bowls of pears, and a bowl of cereal. He also told her that he was starving, because I hadn't fed him anything that day, he had just spent the entire day doing dishes.

Poor poor little Cinderaaron.

Seriously, I only make French toast about twice a year, you would think that might stand out in his mind.
We now have 2 weeks and 3 days until the kids go back to school.
Wish me luck.


PS: CJ just fell on the floor begging me to make sure that I referred to our Playstation as a Playstation II lest anyone dare think that we have one of those "crappy" Playstation I consoles.
Not that I even really care. (Please don't be offended if you only have a Playstation I)