Kid Quotes part 2

In the days since I wrote my last post, I've thought of more cute/funny things that my kids have done.


When Brielle was just over a week old she was sitting in her car seat in the living room, and I went into the kitchen to get something and CJ (2) came running to me and waving his arms wildly saying "Mom! Mom! She's...........she's................spilling!"
I went to see what was going on, and she had spit up all over.
Ever since then when a baby spits up, we say that they are spilling. (and we refer to what they spit up as "spillage")

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Not too long ago, we had gone to a chocolate shop, and I let the kids each choose a treat. We were sitting outside on a bench while the kids were enjoying their chocolate, and the wind began blowing. Max started to panic, and said "Help! The wind is chasing me!"

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Brielle came home from school a few years ago and said "My teacher has a really interesting hairdo. It's really blonde, except for the top of her head, and there, her hair is really dark."

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Brielle was 4, CJ was 6. We were driving home from grandma's house, and Brielle talked all the way. She talked and talked and talked. She chatted away for about 20 minutes straight.
Just before we got home, she was discussing some important 4 year old girl topic, and she looked at CJ and asked "What do you think?"
CJ very slowly and clearly said,
"I think girls. Talk. Too. Much.

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We were coming home one day, and as I opened the garage door, Max said "Look, the house is opening it's mouth"
Then we drove in the garage and Max said "Now the house did eat our car!"

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When Brielle was 2, I walked into the bathroom to see her playing in my make up.
Apparently, when you're a two year old girl, concealer is to be worn on your eyes, mascara on your cheeks, eye liner on your lips, and lipstick is to be firmly twisted inside the cap.
Brielle turns around, and says "Look mom! I have lips on my mouth!"

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When CJ was three, I walked into the kitchen to see him sitting on the counter surrounded by slices of bread.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
CJ says "Making toast!"
He had toasted an entire loaf of bread, and taken one bite out of each slice, and he was exceedingly proud of himself.

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Aaron was about 2, and every time I would get a phone call, (and occupied for a few minutes) he would get the tub of butter, grab a butter knife, hide behind the kitchen counter, and proceed to "butter" himself, spreading a layer of butter all over his arms, legs, face, hair, and just pretty much anywhere he could reach.

Seriously. I couldn't make this stuff up!


Here are the meanings to th "Kid invented" words from my last post.

1. Fwowfies............flowers
2. Beggy.................spaghetti
3. Sassies...............glasses
4. Fuhriginator.............refrigerator
5. Frork...........fork
6. Banana frork..........butter knife (I use them to cut open bananas)
7. Hodepo.............Home depot (Jessica G guessed this one)
8. Ayaya ..............humidifier (I have no clue how we got ayaya out of humidifier)
9. Aahzuldee..............CJ used to say this all the time. We still have no idea what it means.
10. Boosta.............booster
11. Feep.............feet

Here are some more.

grill.............girl
yayo.............yellow
graple...........purple
snizzors...........scizzors
tampenene..........trampoline

Max has this habit of putting an extra "r" in some words like,
grarbage
crorvette
crorner
frork
crorned beef

Kid Quotes

Today, I found myself thinking about some of the cute/funny things that my kids have said and done over the years.
Here are a few of them.

While we were driving somewhere one day, the kids were in the back seat talking, and Brielle (age 5 at the time) said "Aaron, you're such an idiot!"
My husband said "Brielle, that's an awful thing to say, you should never say that to anyone!"
to which Brielle replies "But that's what Mom calls all the other drivers on the road!"
(then I say "Well............... they are.")

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Aaron was about 5 when he asked me "What color is gravity?"

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We were at CJ's karate promotion. There was a class full of kids testing that night, and they were all seated quietly on the floor meditating, while the karate instructors were discussing their tests, and determining who would pass and receive their new belts.
The studio was also packed full of parents and family members, quietly waiting............

You get the picture. Basically a large group of people, all very quiet.
VERY quiet.

Aaron is three. He is bored. He is laying on the floor in front of my chair, and I am amazed at how quiet he has been so far. He then begins to roll towards the karate floor. He crosses the line on the floor where only the karate students are allowed to be. I quickly lean over, grab the back belt loop of his pants, and drag him the two feet back to my chair.

He stands up.

He clenches his fists and sticks out his chest and says..............



"YOU GAVE ME A WEDGIE, AND I. DIDN'T. WANT. A. WEDGIE!!!!!"

(Just for the record, I DID NOT give him a wedgie.)

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Brielle came home from first grade one day and said "Hey, my friend's mom is 29 years old just like you, except I think she counts in REAL years, not the kind you use."

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CJ was three. We drove past a house that had some beautiful flowers growing in the front yard.
I said "Oh CJ look at all those pretty daffodils and tulips!"
The next day we drove past the same house, and CJ says "Hey Mom, look at the pretty daffylips!"

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Much to CJ's dismay, I now refer to all spring flowers as "daffylips"
I just love "kid invented" words. Do you ever start using the invented words instead of the real ones, just because they're so darn cute?

Here are some words my kids have come up with. Can you guess their real meanings
1. Fwowfies
2. Beggy
3. Sassies
4. Fuhriginator
5. Frork
6. Butter frork7. Hodepo
8. Ayaya (you will NEVER guess this one)
9. Aahzuldee
10. Boosta
11. Feep

(Spell check didn't like any of those words;0)

Yes, I love technology.....

Everyone can stop worrying now.
The chocolate cravings have returned!
Strangely enough, I the cravings returned on Thursday, which was a very stressful day for me.
Coincidence???
Hmmmmmm.......

So here I am, having a full blown chocolate fit, and no chocolate in the house. If I wasn't already in my pajamas, I would go to the store for a Dove bar. Heck, I'd even settle for a Hershey bar. I won't, however, stoop to eating the Palmer brand chocolate. I'm craving chocolate, not chocolate flavored wax.

Okay, on to another subject.

I need some help. If there are any computer nerds or technology geeks out there, listen up.

There's a program on my computer that I really want to either disable, or get rid of completely. I'm not sure what its called, where it is, or how it works, all I know is that it is making my life on the computer quite difficult, and it also seems to have a big effect on my printer. Since I don't know the name of this program, I will describe to you what it does, and maybe someone out there can offer some advice on what to do.
Okay, here goes. Feel free to take notes.

Whenever I need to have some work finished in the immediate future, some sort of sensor in the computer is able to measure my exact level of stress. It then takes this information, and causes the computer to misbehave. The problems will range from the computer running a little slow (mild stress on my part) to freezing up completely (Major stress)
As I mentioned earlier, this happens to my printer also. If I need something printed pronto, it begins to print v e r y ......s....l....o....w.....l.......y.
Or it runs out of ink. Or it says it is running out of ink and so I open it up to check the ink levels which are fine, and then when I close it, it says that there is a paper jam that needs to be cleared, but I know darn well that there isn't, because I just looked inside, so I open it up again and then close it, open it, close it..............until it says the paper jam is gone, then I start to print, and it catches several pieces of paper at once, so when it gets to printing the last page, it is then out of paper, and it freezes up also..........

I think my all time favorite malfunction happened today.

I needed to get some things done and uploaded to a site. The first file seemed to go smoothly, until I realized that I had sent the wrong version, and I couldn't find any way that I could just cancel or delete the file, so I could re send the corrected version. I couldn't leave it as it was, but I couldn't find any way to fix it. Nothing I tried worked. I even tried just deleting the whole thing.

Nope.

Were you aware that you can scream at a computer for 5 minutes, and it still won't do what you want?
Seriously, no response whatsoever.

I've decided that deep down, my computer is probably a teenager.

I finally figured out how to change the file after it had uploaded, but not before frightening my toddler.
I calmed down and re applied my mascara, and then tried to continue, but the program I was using suddenly decided that it was a trial version, and wouldn't work for me.
I needed to register my software (which I'm pretty sure I already registered) I now need to find the original box.

Yeah right.

Apparently, my computer had managed to hide the box under a huge pile of paper, toys, and other miscellaneous items on my desk. When I found it, the disk was not inside, and I couldn't find the code I needed to get into the website to register my software, which I knew darn well that I had purchased.
I briefly thought about finding the receipt and showing it to the darn computer, just to prove that we owned the software, but I couldn't find the receipt either.

I typed in the # on the box, and wouldn't you know it?
WRONG #
So I go back to searching through the box to find the number, when my 12 year old son smugly points to the back of the software tutorial handbook, where we find the code.

Like anyone actually reads those instructions anyway!

I FINALLY got everything done and uploaded.

Don't get me wrong, I love all the technological cool stuff that the computers can do now. I just want the stress level sensor removed from my computer and printer.
I don't think that's too much to ask.

Anytime I hear the word "Technology" I think of this.

I'm also worried that sometimes, technology might be going a bit too far.
Do you notice any similarities between this...........

And this?

Something to think about.

Beating the system

Isn't it amazing how smart kids are? Especially when it comes to getting out of doing things, and I'm not just talking about "remembering" they have homework to do when I ask them to do the dishes.

Tonight I got an email from my cousin, who's son is in the same school class as Aaron. She said that Aaron told M (her son) that if you purposely get all of the words wrong on the spelling pre test, then you get easier words for the actual test. M was very excited about this method, because apparently, it really works. My cousin had a nice long talk with her son, and he won't be doing this again.

I'm really not sure what to think of this. On one hand, I'm disappointed in Aaron for pulling off this scheme, but on the other hand, I'm a little impressed with his creativity.

When I asked Aaron about the whole situation, he got this goofy grin on his face, and couldn't stop giggling.
I explained to him that this was dishonest behavior, and we would not tolerate it.
"I've never done that on the pre test" he said "I keep forgetting to do it."

Right.


I'm trying to figure out what kind of career path this type of behavior will lead him to.
I think he gets this way of thinking from my brother.

I did something similar to that when weighing in for dance club in high school. The first week of weigh in, all the other girls were stripping down to nearly nothing so they would weigh less. I wore all of my clothes (I think I may have worn a heavy sweater, my coat, and carried my books also) The next week at weigh in, while the other girls had starved themselves all day, shaved their legs, and then were all standing in line at the restroom in a last ditch effort to lose a few ounces, I wore my regular clothes, (minus the coat) and weighed less than the previous week.
Really, it never hurts to plan ahead.

Not wanting to mess up my newly clean kitchen, I implemented a new rule in our house.

Nobody goes to bed until the table is cleared, the dishes are done, and the kitchen counter cleaned off.

This is the kids job, except tonight, after asking them nicely once, reminding them nicely twice, and not so nicely another time, (or four) I just did it myself.
As I was loading the dishwasher, I came up with another new rule for our house.

If Mom does your chores for you, you will need to pay her.

One child asked "What if we don't have any money?"
To which I reply "You have an iPod, and I have an ebay account."

(Yes, I am mean. You wanna make something of it?)

On an unrelated subject, I haven't craved chocolate for two whole days.
Do you think I should go see a doctor?

Swingin' & bouncin'

Yesterday was the big party we had been preparing for for the last few weeks. You know, the one where we were having around 40 people over to our house. (Okay, it turned out to be more like 30, however, that's still quite a few people to have at your house all at the same time)
The really great news is that we actually got the house clean!
The other great news is that all of the mounds of crap we had stacked, stuffed and smashed in the closets, STAYED in the closets, and didn't fall out of the the entire time that our guests were here!

Hooray!

I also finished a few projects I've had on my list for quite a while, like putting up the drapes in the family room, and hanging some pictures on the walls.

YAY ME!

We got our bedroom so clean, that several times during the day, I just go and look at it. The room just looks so nice with the bed made and everything................not that the bed isn't always made because it is........ totally.......all the time.
I'm just enjoying this while it lasts, because at our house, tidiness is fleeting, and only lasts a short while.

Last week, we welcomed two new additions to our house.

We got this............

And this..............

The kids were excited beyond belief, because prior to this week, all they had to play with in the back yard was grass. Apparently there's not a whole lot of fun things you can do with just grass.
The swing set was installed on Monday. (we had it installed, because if it was up to us to put it together, it would still be sitting in our garage when our youngest goes off to college)
The guys got it put up pretty quickly, and with the exception of them digging through the wire to the timer on our sprinkling system, set up went quite well.
Since the legs to the swing set were being cemented into the ground, the kids weren't allowed to play on the swing set for five days until the concrete had sufficient time to cure.

This drove the kids crazy.
Kids: "So we have this great swing set, and we can't play on it until Saturday?"
Me: "That's right."
Kids:"Can we sit on it and not swing?"
ME: "No."
Kids: "Can we swing the swings by themselves?"
ME: "No."
Kids: "Can we touch it?"
Me: "No."
Kids: So what can we do with it?"
Me: "You can smell it."

So the kids proceeded to go outside, and smell the swing set. They came in a few minutes later, and I asked them "What did it smell like?" you know, because I was curious.

Apparently, it smells like a swing set.

GOOD MORNING!

There is no alarm clock in the world that will wake you up better than a toddler can.

Because nothing says "Good morning" Like being poked in the eye by the finger of a small child.

"Hiyo mom................You wake?"

"Open eyes" (poke) "You wake mom?" (poke poke) "Open eyes mom." (poke, poke, poke)

To sleep or not to sleep.

This weekend, I was talking with some friends about kids birthday parties. The subject turned to slumber parties, and we all have the same rule about our kids not attending sleep over parties. 

Last year, CJ was invited to a slumber party, and we let him go to the party, but brought him home at 11:00 p.m.

What is your policy on this subject?

All the talk about slumber parties made me remember back to a few I went to as a child.

When I was turning 12, I begged my mom to let me have a slumber party for my birthday. She finally agreed, and I ended up falling asleep at 10:00 and my friends stayed up really late. In the morning, everyone was mad at me because they said I wouldn't talk to them. Apparently, I sleep with my eyes slightly open, and they thought I was really awake when they were talking to me, and just ignoring them.

When I was 8, my mom said I could invite my three cousins to sleep over at our house one Friday night. I saw them at school that day and invited them to come over that night. 

I started playing with one of my friends at recess and thought of how much fun it would be if she came over also, so I invited her too. Then I saw another friend at lunch............

I think you can see where this is going.

I'm not sure why I didn't mention anything to my mom about the extra 5 girls I had invited over. I guess my my 8 year old brain actually believed that she wouldn't mind having 9 giggly and squealy little girls sleeping at our house that night.

Imagine my mom's surprise when the first girl showed up at our front door carrying a sleeping bag and pillow.

Then the next one............

And the next one.........

Poor mom.

My favorite sleep over memory was when my cousin M invited me and our other cousin A over to her house. I think we were about 8. 

We thought it would be really cool to stay up all night. We watched the Friday night horror movie double feature. By the end of the second one, A had fallen asleep. All of the television stations had signed off by then, so me and M played board games to try to keep ourselves awake. 

We finally decided to check the clock to see how much longer it would be until morning.

It was 3:00 a.m.

We thought that was SO cool. We had stayed up until 3:00 in the morning!

That's practically all night!

It was SO exciting!

We were positive that we were the only kids EVER to have stayed up that late!

We couldn't contain our joy at this accomplishment, so we went upstairs and woke up my aunt to tell her that it was 3:00 a.m. and WE WERE STILL AWAKE!

I still remember the pained look on my sweet aunt's face as she opened one eye, squinting from the bright light of the hallway which was shining directly on her face as she said:

"WHAT?!............................... go to sleep you guys."

Apparently is wasn't as exciting for her as it was for us.

And miles to go before I sleep..........

Yesterday I was really tired.

REALLY tired.

I had stayed up quite late the night before working on an activity for my son's school class.
I know that right now you're probably thinking "Sure it was a school project, she was probably just blog surfing." Let me assure you that it was indeed a school related project. It took so darn long because CJ decided to run the program "Time machine" that backs up everything on the computer. It also causes every program I try to open to freeze.
The last thing I want to see at 2:00 a.m. is the rainbow colored spinning beach ball of death indicating that the program has frozen (again) just as I'm trying to print something.

We have a new rule. CJ is not allowed to run this program until late at night after I'm done with the computer.
So there!

Back to being tired. When the kids got home from school, I told them that I just needed a short nap. I asked them to keep an eye on Max, and start on their homework. I went and laid down, planning to sleep for one hour.
A few minutes later, I'm almost asleep, and here comes Max. "I take nap wif you mom." He was acting kind of tired, so I snuggled him down under the covers.
Brielle came into the room a few minutes later. She hopped up on the bed and snuggled in.
Max begins to giggle.
Brielle begins to giggle.
I say "Okay you guys, if you're going to be in here, you need to settle down and be quiet."
They were quiet for a minute, and just as I was beginning to drift off, the giggling began again.
Next Max sits up and starts bouncing. Then he starts punching the pillow.
Next, CJ comes in to see what's going on. He sits on the edge of the bed and starts tickling Max.
I pull the covers over my head, foolishly thinking that I can just ignore the situation.
Then I hear Aaron out in the hallway. He has turned on the vacuum.
Meanwhile, the bouncing/tickling/giggling is escalating.
I start to tell the kids to cut it out, when the phone rings.

It's my husband.

He's calling from work to see how we're doing. Now don't get me wrong, I love it when my DH calls home to chat, it's just that the timing was so perfect.

In less than ten minutes, I had every single member of my family sabotage my nap.
I've come to the conclusion that my family just can't handle it if I try to sleep.

(In all fairness, my DH was unaware that I was trying to rest, so he's off the hook)

This whole "don't let mom sleep" thing started out when they were tiny babies. They seem to have come hard wired with this ability to tell when I am the most tired, and then make it impossible for me to sleep.

The same way that a dog can sense fear in a human, my children can sense exhaustion in me.

I think that maybe the next time I need a nap I'll tell the kids that I need someone to help me do the dishes. This usually causes them to disappear quickly, and it might just keep them away long enough for me to get a decent nap.

Now if I could just figure out a way to go to the bathroom by myself..............

Everything in it's place

I was tagged for a meme by crazymamaof6.
The question I need to answer for the meme is "Are you a procrastinator?"
I'll have to get back to you later on that one.

If you've been reading here for the last while, you'll know that I'm trying to get my house organized. We moved here three years ago, the day before Max was born, and at the time, I just wasn't able to get everything the way I wanted it, especially with all that recovering form the C section and everything.
We are having two parties here in the next two weeks. One this weekend with about 15 people coming, and another next weekend with around 40+ people, and I really want the house to look nice for the gatherings.
Apparently, just wanting things to be organized isn't enough. I seem to need a deadline to get anything done.

In the last few weeks, I have managed to get a ton of unneeded things out of the storage room. Yesterday I started cleaning out our filing cabinet so I can have a place to stash all the paper on the kitchen counter.
Have you ever noticed how when you start to clean something, you always need to make a bigger mess before it actually starts getting clean?
That's kind of where I'm currently at with the filing cabinet. All of the paper from the filing cabinet is now having a party with the paper on the kitchen counter.

But hey! The filing cabinet is empty!

Last night, I had to have yet another family meeting about the closet in our kitchen. This happens about weekly.

The first meeting we ever had about the closet went something like this.
ME: "Look children, I have a shoebox!" (I am talking to them as if they are very small children )
Children: "Yes mom, that's a shoebox." (Very monotone)
I hold up a bag of blocks.
Me: "How many blocks do you think I can fit in the shoebox?"
Children: "Mom, how long is this going to take?"
Me: "Watch! I will put the blocks in the shoe box!"
I dump the bag of large blocks into the shoe box. They land crooked, and most of them land outside the box.
Me: "Okay kids! Lets count how many blocks are in the box!"
We count about 8 blocks.
Me: (very enthusiastically) "Do you think we could fit more blocks in this box?"
Children stare blankly. One of them says "No, it looks pretty full to me."
I dump the blocks out of the box, and then carefully stack the blocks neatly inside the box.
Me: "Now children, how many blocks can we fit inside the box?"
I count around 20.
The children are unimpressed.
Me: (obnoxiously enthusiastic) "See how many more blocks I can fit inside the box when they are STACKED NEATLY, and not just dumped inside?!!! Isn't this EXCITING?!!!! Now, the next time I ask you to put something in the closet, will you dump it inside, or stack it neatly?!!"
Children: (rolling eyes, in unison) "we will stack things neatly."

I went to put away my Kitchen-aid stand mixer in the kitchen closet last night, and was angered by what I saw. I won't go into detail, just imagine the worst.
I called the children together for another family meeting about the closet.
Me: "Do we need to get out the blocks and the shoebox again?"
Children (pleading) "NO! NO! NO! Please mom, NO! ANYTHING but the blocks!"
Out of the closet, I pull two grocery bags full of cans of food.
Me: "When I hand you this sack and ask you to take it to the closet and put the cans away, it doesn't mean toss the sack in the closet, it means PUT THE CANS ON THE SHELVES!!"
Children: "It wasn't me!"
"It wasn't me!
"It wasn't me!"
I then pick up three large jars of spices from the floor of the closet and hold them out for the children to see.
ME: "When I ask you to put these away, it doesn't mean toss them in the closet, it means STACK THEM NEATLY ON THE SHELVES WHERE THEY BELONG! Because we don't want to re live the taco seasoning fiasco of last week now do we??"
The children look at me as if I have lost my mind, and fearfully nod their heads.
One of them asks "what's a fiasco?"
I then pick up a case of chili from the pile on the floor of the closet.
ME: When I ask you to put away the case of chili, I don't mean dump it in the closet, I mean take the cans out of the case, and STACK THEM NEATLY ON THE SHELVES!!"

Are we seeing a pattern here?

Then, I lower my voice, and invite the children to come closer to the closet. I carefully clear a space on the floor of the closet by picking up 3 lunch boxes, several stray packages of easy-mac, three empty plastic grocery sacks, a bag of chocolate chips, three slices of plastic toy pizza, and a package of spaghetti. I smooth my hand gently over the tile on the floor. "This" I say, "is sacred mixer space."
The kids burst out laughing, because, apparently, this is funny.
I continue "Nothing, I repeat NOTHING is to be placed on this spot except the mixer. This spot is reserved for the mixer and the mixer only! GOT IT?!"
Children: "Sacred mixer space! Ha ha ha! Mom, you are SO funny!"

Eventually, I did get the closet organized again, having to remind the children that I don't want anything ON TOP of the mixer either.

Earlier today, I cleaned out the refrigerator. I found a bunch of storage bowls, and one of my spoons.

My goal for today is to get all of the paper off of the kitchen counter.

Wish me luck.