More Max

Max has a few new games that he likes to play.

A few weeks ago, our garage door broke. We called the repair man and he wasn't able to come until the next day so Max spent the day playing "broken garage door" He sat two of his little chairs together, then picked one up and dropped it, just like the garage door did when it broke. Then he would ask,
"Why is the garage door broken?"
"How did the garage door break?"
"Why are the wires on the garage door hanging down?"
"Why did the garage door go boom?"
"Why is the garage door broken?"

Did I mention this went on for an entire day?

The next day, the repair man came and fixed the garage door, so now Max was able to play "fixing the garage door"

This is still going on...............
A while ago I heard a strange noise coming from Max's room. When I went in to investigate, I saw Max standing in front of his mirror doing raspberries until the mirror was covered with spit.
He then put his hands flat on the mirror and slid them back and forth.

Can you guess what he was playing?

Give up?

"windshield wipers"

He wipes back and forth until all the spit is wiped off the mirror, and then he starts all over again.

He even has an intermittent setting.

****************************************************************

We started listening to Christmas music on the radio the day after Halloween.
One thing I didn't count on was that Max would be learning Christmas songs from the radio.
Here are a few of our favorites that he has been singing for the last month.
(these are the actual lyrics created by Max)

Sables ring are you listenin'
Sable's ring in the boober.
A singing a song, a goin' along
Walkin' in a winter wonderland.
In the vales snow is listenen',
In the vales in the boober
A SINGIN' A SONG A GOIN' ALONG!
WALKIN' IN A WINTER WONDERLAND!

And then there's this favorite

"Silver brando, silver brando......"

And the one where he just started making up lyrics of his own.

"Have a holly jolly Christmas and a frinjinjijinjo,
Say hello to Steve and Jo and Blue and Tickety tock."

*************************************************************

In other news, two of our toilets are hopelessly clogged, and nobody will claim responsibility. The plunger has been working overtime, and still not resolving the problem
The bigger problem, however, is that now the only working toilet is the one in the master bathroom, and the kids are not allowed to go in there.
(seriously, one of the main reasons we moved to this house was so we didn't have to share a bathroom with the kids anymore)
(OK, it wasn't really one of the main reasons, but it was definitely an added bonus)

**************************************************************************

Today is our Anniversary! (Yes, we got married on New Year's eve)
16 years! It doesn't feel like it's been that long. (time really does fly when you're having fun;0)
In a few hours we will drop the kids off at Grandma's house for their annual New Year's sleepover, then we will go out.

At least Grandma will let them use the bathroom at her house;0)

Happy New Year to everyone!!

Would you like some candy little girl?

Last night after dinner, I was in the kitchen working diligently on what turned out to be an unfortunate series of cooking disasters. (more on that later, right now, the disappointment is too fresh, and it might take a day or two to see any humor in the situation) (but seriously, my mom is a FABULOUS cook. She makes all sorts of candy, fudge, cookies, you name it, mom makes it and it always turns out great. What I want to know is why that "Holiday treat making" gene didn't get passed on to me?) (and whoever the wise guy was who said that my mini muffin pan had a non stick coating on it is pure evil in my book. If it really was non stick, then things shouldn't stick to it, right? You shouldn't need to use a fork/spoon/jackhammer to get the stuff to come out of the pan, mangling the treat beyond recognition)

Anyway................

I'm in the kitchen working, my hands are messy, and the doorbell rings. I start to quickly wash my hands so I can answer the door, but Brielle and Aaron beat me to it. They came into the kitchen with a bag full of chocolates and said "Look! Sweets!"
"Oh how nice!" I said, because I really love it when someone delivers chocolate to my front door, "Who brought it?"

The kids looked at each other, then back at me and said "I don't know."

"Did you recognize this person at all?"

Brielle answered "Well, it was an older man. He looked like someone who might sit on the back row at church."
"Was it Brother Parker?"
"No, this guy was shorter and younger."
I couldn't think of anyone else fitting that description. "So does he always sit on the back row?" I asked.
"No" Brielle said "I didn't say that he sat on the back row at church, I said that he looked like someone who might sit on the back row at church."

(OK, that really cleared it up)

She went on to give more of a description, about 60 years old, kind of short blondish/brownish hair, glasses, drives a Honda, had a lady waiting for him in the car (whom she might or might not have recognized, she wasn't sure)...................but we still couldn't figure out who it was that brought us the candy.

So basically, our daughter is taking candy from strangers.

Of course that didn't stop us from eating the candy. (again, chocolate brought directly to the front door, like I'm not going to eat that?)

It's been 24 hours and we're all still alive and healthy.

And Brielle is not allowed to answer the door by herself anymore.




P.S. I'm cooking a turkey tomorrow. I've never cooked a turkey before. Please cross your fingers and wish me luck that my recent string of culinary disasters will come to an end before I get this bird in the oven.

Tis the season............

Christmas cards.

Every year we try to get a nice picture of the kids for our Christmas card.

You notice that I said "try."

Because every year without fail, one of our kids will have a bad attitude, and refuse to smile.
Each year I have these visions of some festive location with trees and snow and beautiful decorations and our children posing happily together, smiling, happy............

Yeah right.

Last year was easy, we went to Disneyland the first week in December, and we were able to get a nice picture of the family in front of a nicely decorated tree somewhere in the Magic kingdom. The kind Disney "Cast member" even managed to get all of us looking at the camera and smiling.
Last Saturday we decided that it would be the day to get the picture. We were going to a Christmas party in the afternoon, so the kids looked somewhat presentable.

(speaking of the Christmas party, I wore a white sweater to the party, where they served multiple delicious appetizers including barbecued meatballs.

Did you catch that?

White sweater + barbecued meatballs = .........................

I'm sure you get the point. I'm just glad that Max still likes me to carry him everywhere. He covered the stain nicely.)

After we left the party, the plan was to go downtown to take the picture with all of the Christmas lights. Unfortunately, it was so darn cold that we decided it wasn't a good idea to go there, so we went to a place in town with quaint little old fashioned shops and tons of fun Christmas decorations, including displays full of elves.
Last year we tried to go there, and Max was completely freaked out by the elves. We couldn't even get within 12 feet of one of them without him screaming. This year, all he has talked about was going back to see the elves.
As soon as we got there and got everyone out of the car it started snowing. And the wind was blowing. And it was SUPER cold.

We just wanted to get the darn picture, get back in the warm car and go home.

We found an elf display, stood the kids in front of it, explained to the teenager for the third time that yes indeed, he did need to stand there and be in the picture and then tried to get Max to undo the hood of his coat so that we could see more than his eyes.

"No. I not take off my hood. I also leave it on."

"Please Max, just for a second. Just undo it so we can see your cute smile."

"No."

So we took the picture. Yeah, not great. Max even managed to turn away from the camera just as the flash went off.

Twice.

Then I got a great idea. There was an old fashioned candy shop just down the lane from where we were standing.
They give out free fudge samples.

"Max, why don't we go get some fudge, get warmed up a bit, and then take the picture?"

He didn't disagree, and the other kids were now all excited about the free fudge, so we walked down to the candy shop.
As we were reading the sign on the door that said "Unattended children will be given a cappaccino and a free puppy" the girl inside locked the door and said "Sorry, we're closed.
Closed? You've got to be kidding?
Sure enough, the other sign on the door said they closed at 8:00.
It was exactly 8:00.

Fine.

There was a cute elf display mere feet from the door so in one last effort to get this picture thing done, we stood the kids in front of it and told them to smile.
We still couldn't see Max's face, so I leaned over and told CJ (who was holding Max) that I would count to three, he would undo Max's hood and we would take the picture.

What we got was a picture of three of our kids smiling nicely and Max SCREAMING.

We finally ended up just doing what we do every year. After church on Sunday, we sat the kids in front of the Christmas tree and snapped a picture. (and even that was harder that it should have been) We did get one really good picture and will be using that for our card this year.

What I should have done was just get them all out of bed at 4:00 a.m. sat them in front of the tree and taken their picture, morning hair, mismatched pajamas, sleepy faces and everything. That way, they would look the way I feel when they get us up that early on Christmas morning.

Maybe next year.

Join me tomorrow for the adventures of actually getting the picture to the Costco photo lab and having the cards printed.

I can hardly wait.

Three year olds are random

Tuesday is our garbage day and Max's favorite day of the week. I need to open the blinds in Max's room and make sure there is a chair in front of the window for him to stand on. A few weeks ago, I forgot to open the blinds, and we heard the garbage truck on our street. Then I heard Max screaming in his room "IT'S NOT OPEN! IT'S NOT OPEN! OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!!!!!!!!"
I ran in the room, opened the blinds and lifted Max on the chair just in time for him to see the garbage truck. His little heart was beating about 280 beats a minute.
Last week he discovered that if he looked out the kitchen window, he could see the garbage truck on the street behind us.

I've never seen him so happy.

Each day, Max takes his cars and big blocks and puts three of them in front of every door in our house as well as the couch and chairs and refrigerator and dishwasher and filing cabinet and.................well, you get the idea. We have blocks and cars all over the floor.
These aren't ordinary blocks and cars, however, they are "garbage cans." Max crawls on the floor and stops at each grouping of garbage cans, picks one up, lifts it over his head and dumps it then returns it to it's original place. Then he lifts a second one over his head and dumps it, puts it back then moves on to the next pile.
He went around the room doing this and finally I asked him why he was only picking up two of the three blocks/cars (excuse me, "garbage cans") and leaving the third one there.
He looked at me like I was a complete idiot and said "Because I'm the garbage truck and those are also the recycle cans. With I come back later and be the recycle truck and get the recycle cans"

I stand corrected.

Silly me, I don't know why I couldn't tell those were recycle cans.

Aaron and Brielle are now off track from school and won't go back until January. This means that Max has two friends to play with, who NEVER annoy or tease him.
Several times yesterday, we accidently bumped or kicked one of his rows of cars/blocks, and this brought Max running from whatever far corner of the house that he was collecting garbage "NO! NO! NO! YOU ALSO LEAVE THE GARBAGE CANS ALONE!! YOU NOT MESS THEM UP!!!!" Then he would very carefully line them back up in the proper place, and his heart rate would return to normal, until the next time that one of the kids would move them, then it would start all over again.

Multiple times.

Each day.




Yesterday we had Christmas music playing on the radio all day. When it was time to get Max ready to go to preschool, I asked him to come into the bathroom to get his hair combed. He stood outside the door, shaking his hips to the music and said "I can't. I'm dancin' "
I said "Do you think you could come dance in the bathroom so I can comb your hair?"
"Nope" Max said as he boogied away "I'm still dancin'."

He went to school with messy hair.

When we picked him up from school, I asked him what he did in school (as I do every time I pick him up) he said "We got to watch room five's Christmas program, and they also watched our program."
"How fun!" I said "What kind of songs did room five sing?"
And Max replies "They singed too much songs!"



Last night we attended CJ's band concert (which by the way was fabulous! The band is great) Max did pretty well at the concert, but we got home later than his bed time, and he'd had it. We decided to have some ice cream as a treat, but only after everyone had their pajamas on.
Apparently, Max didn't feel the need to put his pajamas on but still expected to get ice cream. He threw such a fit that he got put in time out.
I won't go into great detail, but eventually he got the pajamas on, but he didn't get his bowl of ice cream until after everyone else had finished theirs, and he was sad.
I hugged him and we talked about it."Max" I said "the reason you didn't get your ice cream sooner is because you were having some issues with pajamas." and Max says "I not did! I have issues tomorrow!"
(Yes, I'm looking forward to his "issues" today)

In the end, he took one bite of ice cream then decided that he would rather have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

My grandparents tree

Today I was thinking about my grandparents Christmas tree. For as long as I could remember, My Grandma and Grandpa had this artificial tree. It was made all of plastic with plastic branches and needles.
I loved the shiny plastic ornaments and the big lights that would adorn the tree. It was always so exciting when they put their tree up.
Each year the poor tree became increasingly fragile, until one year Grandpa decided just to put up the top half of the tree which he stood on an end table in front of the window.
One year, my brother went and cut down live trees for some of our family and friends. While he was there, he cut one down for our grandparents.
When he brought the tree to their house, grandpa discovered that it was too tall for their living room.
He cut off the bottom of the tree to see if it would fit, but it was still too tall.
He cut off some of the very top branches, but it was still too tall.
Finally, he cut off some more from the bottom of the tree, this time above the very bottom branches.
Now he was faced with a new problem. The bottom branches were the ones that curved upward and filled in the shape of the tree. Without those branches, the tree looked quite scrawny and bare, so he cut the branches off the part of the tree that he had just removed, and nailed them back onto the tree.
This seemed to solve the problem, and he was able to put the tree in the tree stand and it fit perfectly in their living room.
My grandparents spent the next while decorating the tree. They hung the lights and the ornaments but when they got to the star they had a problem. With the top few branches missing, there wasn't a branch that stood straight up to hold the star.
Grandma went to the kitchen, got her wooden spoon and tied it, handle up, in the top of the tree. This held the star perfectly.
The tree looked beautiful, and unless you knew the story, you wouldn't have known about how the tree was held together.

Word Verification Wednesday!!

Believe it or not, I remembered that today is Wednesday, and you all know what that means!

Time to define those word verification codes!

Since I don't want to retype all of the rules again, if you don't know what's going on, click here.

How to irritate a three year old

Max: "I'm going to count to ten. One, two, three, four, five, six....."
Me: "Three two seven five eight twelve six four"
Max: "No. You not count, I also need to count by myself."
Me: "OK Max."
Max: "One, two, three, four, five, six....."
Me: "Two five three nine eight one"
Max: "NO! I count! One, two, three, four, five, six....."
Me: "Eighteysevenfortytwothreehundredninetwofour"
Max: " NO! NO! NO! You also NOT COUNT! I COUNT TO TEN BY MYSELF!!!"


Yes, I did finally let him count by himself.

Word Verfication Thursday .....because I forgot today was Wednesday

Last night I was tired and couldn't think of anything to write. Since NaBloPoMo was over, I felt no obligation to come up with something.

So I didn't write anything.

This morning I thought "I sure would like to write something, but I have no idea what to write."

So I didn't write anything.

This afternoon, Max did something funny, but I couldn't think of a way to write about it and have it be as funny as it was in person.

So I didn't write anything.

A few minutes ago I was thinking "I really wish I had something to write. It will be nice when it's Wednesday so I can do Word Verification Wednesday.................."

So here it is, mere minutes before Wednesday is over.

If you've been living without internet access for the last month, here is how to play.

1. Go to the comment box
2. Look at the jumbled letters of the word verification code.
3. Create your own definition and leave it as a comment.
4. Bonus points if you use it in a sentence.
5. More bonus points if you use the word "also" in the sentence.

The rules
1. Nothing rude crude or unrefined. Remember, my kids read my blog.

And as a special treat to those who keep whining...............

Just for today,

Mocking of the other contestants answers is allowed!!!

You may play as often as you wish!!!


Ready,


Set,



GO!

Tree tales

As I was writing yesterday's post, I got to thinking about the Christmas trees of my past.
When I was little, we always had a live tree. My dad would meticulously hang the icicles one at a time all over the tree, perfectly spaced and perfectly even. (hey, at least I know where I got it from)
When I was a little older, we invested in one of those new fangled fake trees. They didn't smell as good, but they didn't leave sap and needles all over the carpet.

As time went on, our artificial tree obtained the nickname of "The toilet brush tree" mostly because it looked like a bunch of green toilet brushes sticking out of a green pole.

Eventually we (meaning me and my brother) decided that the toilet brush tree just wasn't cutting it anymore, and we begged and pleaded to have a live tree because having people see a bunch of light covered toilet brushes in one's window can really damage the social status of a teenager once again had live trees at Christmas time. (sap and pine needles included)

Plus, the live trees just smelled so much better. (not that the toilet brush like branches were ever used for anything other than decorative purposes) (to my knowledge)

I remember one year that someone told us that if you put sugar in the water for the tree, that the tree would stay green longer.
Each day, we would fill up the water dish in the tree stand with a generous amount of sugar water.
That tree was so thirsty! Each morning we were amazed to see that the water was nearly gone!
This went on for days and days. We figured that at this rate, the tree would stay green until Easter.

One evening, we were sitting in the kitchen eating dinner and we heard a strange noise coming from the living room.

When we went in to investigate, we found our dog drinking the sugar water out of the tree stand.

We should have known. Bubbles had been extra hyper all week long (and that's really saying something for a poodle/terrier mix)

Next story............

Several years ago, back when I had a real job (with a cubicle and a 401K and everything) I was sitting in my cubicle one morning working hard as always, and my friend who sat next to me came in late.
She seemed rather upset, and after a while told me why.
She had put up her Christmas tree the night before, and that morning her cat (a seriously HUGE cat) jumped in the tree and knocked it over. She had spent the morning cleaning everything up and trying to set the tree back up. Unfortunately, every time she got it standing, the big cat would jump in it again.

Eventually she gave up and came to work.

After an hour or so of her stewing over the tree while trying to get some work done, she went to the manager and told her that she needed to take some vacation time for a few hours to take care of an emergency.
When she came back that afternoon, she told us what she had done.

She said that she hung the tree from the ceiling so when the cat jumped on it, it just swung back and forth instead of falling over.

Genius.

I think she should have patented the idea. I think it would work for babies and toddlers too.

Earlier today, Aaron helped me write a song.


(Sung to the tune of Deck The Halls)

Trim the tree with OCD,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Space the ornaments evenly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don't hang them close to one another,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Or you will annoy your mother,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Trimming the tree (with OCD)

Tonight I realized that we had so many things to do this week that if we didn't get the Christmas tree put up now, it would be a while before we could get to it. (and if we wait too long, we run the risk of "Why bother putting it up now, we'll just need to take it down in a week")

The first thing we had to do was to get the tree upstairs. I went to the closet under the stairs in the basement to get the large box with the tree along with all the boxes full of Christmas decorations.
What I found was all of the kids Halloween costumes for the last two years, tossed in the closet on top of all of the Christmas stuff.
The costumes are supposed to be put away nicely on the top shelves of the kids closets, not dumped conveniently in the storage closet under the stairs.

I yelled politely called to the children to have them put the costumes in their proper places.
Eventually this was done and we were able to reach all of the Christmas decorations. CJ and Aaron carried the heavy box with the tree in it up the stairs arguing humming Christmas tunes as they went.

DH got the tree out of the box and put it together. I bent the tree branches causing them to return back into their previously not smooshed state as they were before the tree was stuffed into the box last February 11December 31.

The children helped me fix the branches because I forced them to they like the tree to look nice and uniform too.
Next we put on the lights. I explained to the children that they were not to mess with the little box on the lights that controls the speed of the blinking. I like the slow glow setting. It calms me.
Every year, without fail, one of the kids will set that puppy to the tracer lights and it makes me dizzy and nauseous.

Next, we started to decorate the tree.

Now the single most important thing that everyone must remember is;

E.S.O.

Evenly. Spaced. Ornaments.

One thing that drives me batty is when there are a bunch of ornaments on the same branch, or worse than that, three of the same ornament within inches of each other.

THIS JUST SHOULD NOT HAPPEN!

Evenly spaced, people. Evenly spaced.

I let the kids put all of the ornaments on the tree themselves. CJ is now taller than me, so he can reach all of the higher branches.
I sat on the couch and watched as they completely ignored the ESO rule merrily decorated the tree.
I kept telling them EVENLY SPACED! REMEMBER THEY NEED TO BE EVENLY SPACED!! offered suggestions of where to put the ornaments, and the children basically ignored me did a great job of decorating the tree.
It was then that I got a stabbing pain in my eye. Someone had sped up the blinking of the lights. I growled inquired as to who might have adjusted the lights, after I had made it known to everyone in the room that I would have a coniption if they touched the light control box kindly requested that they leave it alone.
One of my darling children apparently didn't listen to me the first time explained that they had misunderstood and just thought that I didn't want them moving the control box from it's original spot.
We got the lights fixed, and redistributed the 12 ornaments that Max had put on a single branch on the backside of the tree where I couldn't see it.
It was finally finished, and it was lovely!

OK, seriously, they really did do a great job!





We even got the outside lights put up yesterday.

Yay us!




This concludes my last post for NaBloPoMo, or as I prefer to call it "NaBloPowhatwasIthinkingwhenIdecidedtodothisMo"

I'll be back tomorrow.
Or not.
I might take a week off.
Or not.
Or I might just wait until I actually have something interesting to write about.

Favorite books

I just read posts by b and Compulsive Writer. They posted photos of themselves when they were little and talked about their favorite books when they were that age.

Here's mine.



Note the fetching ensemble that I'm wearing. Nothing says high fashion as much as a pantsuit with huge, mismatched flowers all over it. Also check out that really cool bean bag. We loved that thing! Right up to the time when somebody (probably my brother because I would never have done this) unzipped the bag and let out a bunch of the little styrofoam "beans" that were full of static electricity and stuck all over everything. My mom was vacuuming those puppies up for ages!
And check out that orange carpet............

I was five and had just started kindergarten.
At that time I was a big fan of Dr. Seuss. I had several of his books memorized.
"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish..........."

That year I remember my kindergarten teacher taking us to the library to check out books. There was one particular book that I checked out on several occasions. It was about a little Japanese girl. What I remember most about the book was how beautiful the illustrations were. And my mom asking me to please choose a different book next time because she was tired of reading that one to me.

A funny thing that happened that year - Our kindergarten class was working silently in our programmed readers, and one of the pages had the word "bottom" on it. We snickered, whispered and giggled because of the word "bottom."

As I got older, I was reading constantly. I loved the Ramona series by Beverly Cleary, and also the Little House series.
Eventually I read Nancy Drew, The Hardy boys and Encyclopedia Brown.

My kids are now reading and enjoying these same books.

Shopping :OP

I woke up late this morning (might have had something to do with me hitting the snooze button about 9 times) so I didn't get to the stores early.
There were a few things that I still wanted to get, so I finally got to Wal Mart at about 10:30. The parking lot was only about half full, and the store didn't feel all that crowded (with the exception of around the display where they were selling DVD movies for $2.00)

Everything I went for was so picked over that I didn't buy anything.

I should have slept in longer.

When I got home, Aaron handed me a note with his Christmas list on it. He only wants one thing.







Do you know what a Shark VX3 is?

Is it a really cool remote control car?


No.


Is it a new skateboard?


No.


Is it a bike?


No.




Do you want to know what it is?



This.











Yes, he's serious.


.

To shop or not to shop, that is the question

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!!

Our dinner was great! Every year we get together with a ton of family. We eat at the church building so the kids can run and play in the gym and work off their excess energy after dinner.

Max only ate a roll.

I put samples of several things on his plate that I thought he might like, but he only wanted the roll. He wouldn't even try some of grandma's sweet potatoes (which by the way are FABULOUS! in a "you won't need dessert after you eat these" sort of way)

When Max got thirsty, he handed me his glass and said "Please I can have some more H2O?"
Then he drank some and said "Why is it also called H2O?"
I answered "Because it's two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen."
Max says "Oh. OK."

We took the long route home because Max started rubbing his eyes and we wanted him to take a nap. (However now at 10:30 p.m, I feel that allowing him to nap might not have been a good idea because at this very moment, Max is wide awake, singing a very energetic rendition of the Hokey Pokey)
This is a problem because I want to go to bed. I'm actually considering going shopping in the morning.

Because I'm crazy.

And Wal Mart is selling jeans for $8.00 a pair. ($4.00 for Max sized jeans)

The big question is, just how much is my sleep worth to me?
Or the bigger question, how much will my sleep be worth to me tomorrow morning when my alarm goes off?
Or the even bigger question, will shopping in the morning give me something really good to blog about tomorrow night?

Tune in tomorrow to find out what I decide to do!!

WOW! Look at the size of that turkey!

Yesterday was Max's preschool Thanksgiving feast. The kids sat down at the tables and were given plates full of good, healthy things such as broccoli, cauliflower, carrot and celery sticks, apple slices, mandarin oranges and olives.

Max doesn't believe in eating any of those things, so he didn't.


He did, however, do this.















"Look mom, I also did put these ahwibs on my fingers!"


Later today, when you're so full of turkey that you can't move, park yourself in front of the computer and play this.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Word Verification Wednesday! Week 4

It's time to play
DEFINE THE WORD VERIFICATION WORD!

If you haven't played before and you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, instructions, examples and rules can be found here.



And yes, the "no mocking" rule still applies.

Have fun!!! I can't wait to see what everyone comes up with this week.

A few days ago, I asked everyone to ask me a question. Here are my answers to those questions.

Julie AKA the Boob Nazi asked me to give my life story, Where I'm from, where I grew up and what I was like as a child.
I'm from around here, grew up in the same place and I was a perfect child.
Just ask my mom.
(For the last 20 years I've been telling my mom that I was a perfect child, and I think that she is finally starting to remember it that way)

Busty Larue asked - If there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be and why?
I would love to be more organized. Why do I want to be more organized, you ask?
One would only need to look around at the mess in my office to understand the why.
I would also like to be thinner. With good hair.

Now I have a question for Busty Larue. Are you related to this lady?

Suburban correspondent asked - What's a meet-and-greet?
Jo did a fine job of answering this question in her comment, so I will just copy it here.

"We all get together at a restaurant, laugh, giggle like crazy people, make the people in the next booth angry with our merriment, delight the other people in the booth behind us with our hijinks, eat chacon and in general have a good time."

Yes, that pretty much sums it up. If we can cause the annoyed people at the next booth to ask to be moved to a different table, it's even better.

Jillene asked - If you could go on vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I would go someplace warm.
With internet access.
And chocolate covered macadamia nuts.
Seriously, it's getting cold here, and I just can't seem to get my feet warm!

Jessica G. asked - So I want to know is do you think God was joking when he first introduced the concept of natural childbirth?
Yes. But then he created the epidural, and we saw that it was good.

Those were all of the questions that were in the comments, however, when I checked my stat counter, I found several other questions waiting for me.
These were actual keywords used in Google search which led people to my blog.

#1. When potty training, should you wash the wet underwear and clothes in washer?

The answer is yes. Seriously, where else would you wash them? The dishwasher?



#2. How do you un potty train a teenager?

My answer, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO?
I've spent years of my life potty training my kids. We finally have everyone out of diapers, why, Why, WHY would I want to undo that????


#3. Can dirty dishes left on the kitchen sink make you sick?

Yes. They make me sick every day, along with the dirty dishes left on the kitchen table and the dirty dishes left in the kitchen sink and the dirty dishes that I sometimes find under the couch..................
Dirty dishes left all over the house can sometimes get you grounded or cause your video game privileges to be taken away too.


There you have it, the answers to all of your questions. (or at least 8 of them)

Be sure to come back tomorrow for WORD VERIFICATION WEDNESDAY!

Max Sings!!!!!

Imaginations run wild and the power of a cookie

A few nights ago as I was getting Max ready for bed, he started wincing and grabbed his elbow. He was quite agitated and kept looking at his bedroom door and saying "Oh no! Oh no!"

Me: "What's wrong Max?"
Max: "The monsters are also
getting me!"
Me: "Max, there aren't any monsters here."
Max: "Yes there are! Big scary monsters!"
Me: "What color are they?"
Max: "Purple!"
Me: "Well then you don't need to worry, purple monsters are nice, it's the green monsters that are mean."
Max: "THEY'RE GREEN! THEY'RE GREEN! THEY'RE ALSO GREEN!"

I reach into my pocket, take out an imaginary can of monster repellent and hand it to Max.
"Here Max, spray this on the monsters and they will go away."

Max has had the monster repellent in his pocket for the last few days. Periodically we will hear "Psssssssssssss" as Max is spraying the imaginary monster repellent on the monsters.
Or on his siblings if thy start to bug him too much.

Tonight as I was helping Max into his pajamas, the monsters returned.

Max: "They're getting me! They're getting me! The monsters are also getting me! Now they're also getting our garbage! The monsters are getting into our garbage cans! The monsters are eating our garbage!"
Me: "Well Max, if they get in those big cans and start eating our garbage, the lids will close on them and they won't be able to get out, then Tuesday on garbage day the garbage truck will come and take away the monsters and they will never bother you again."
Max: "Will the green monsters go in the recycle can and will the purple monsters also go in the blue garbage can?"

I told him yes because the recycle can sounded like an appropriate place for the "green" monster.

Then Max said "What day is it today? Is it also Saturday?"
I decide to tease him a bit and I say "No, I think it's Valentines day."
Max: "No, it's also Saturday."
Me: "Or maybe it's President's day."
Max: "NO! It's Saturday!"
Me: "Or possibly St. Patrick's day?"
Max: "NO! It's also SAT. UR. DAY!"
Me: "Memorial day, that's it, I'm pretty sure it's Memorial day."
Max: "NO! With it not also be that! School is closed today! It's Saturday!"
Me: "School IS closed on Memorial Day. I'm pretty sure it's Memorial day."

I could tell I was about to cross the line as Max started to say "NO! IT ALSO IS SATURDAY!"

I said "Hey Max, do you want a cookie?"

Max stops for a moment, immediately calms down and says "OK."

Chocolate chip cookies. The bringer of peace.

Does anyone have a toothpick?

I just got back from the Meet-n-greet. It was fun to visit with some old friends and meet some new ones.
I even got to try some chacon.

Mmmmmm! Chocolate covered bacon! With almonds on top!

The verdict? Not bad. However, if you ever get the chance to eat any chacon, I would recommend having some dental floss nearby.

I brought my camera so I could take pictures that I could post tonight. Unfortunately, I forgot that I brought it so I didn't take any pictures, and I refuse to post the picture that I accidentally took of my chin yesterday. I was turning the camera around trying to figure out how to get the memory stick out and somehow pushed the button and took a picture (I can't seem to get it deleted from my camera. It's still there, mocking me with it's hideousness)

Since I'm running out of ideas of things to write for NaBloPoMo, I've decided to do something completely unoriginal by copying some other, more original bloggers and have you ask me questions.

What do you want to know about me?

Leave a comment and ask me a question. I'll answer in tomorrow's post. (unless I can think of something better to write about)

Sad Max

Today I heard Max crying in the other room.
It wasn't the "I'm going to scream until I get my way" type of crying. He was very upset and sounded like he needed his mommy.

I went into the other room to see what was causing such distress for my little guy and what I saw was CJ and Aaron playing "keep away" with Max.

What was it that they were "keeping away" from him? you might ask.

High above Max's head well beyond his reach, his darling brothers were playing keep away with a set of imaginary keys.

Apparently these were Max's keys and CJ had taken them away from him and he was VERY sad.

I stepped in and told CJ to give the keys back to Max.

Do you want to guess what CJ did? He threw the (imaginary) keys across the room where Max couldn't reach them.

Max sobbed.

I've been through this before. My kids fight over imaginary objects.

But now, I have an idea!

If they have so much fun playing with and fighting over things that don't really exist, then they will love it when they get all of those imaginary presents for Christmas!

Merry Christmas CJ! Here's an imaginary iPod! And look at this really cool imaginary iPhone!
And just "imagine" all of the fun you will have with this imaginary Mac Book!

Tantrum of the day

Alternate post title - Guess who didn't get a nap?

Today one of the kids was making toast.
It smelled good, so I put a slice in the toaster for myself.
Max then decided that he needed an Eggo waffle.

Now.

I told him that he needed to wait for my toast to pop up, and so then he waited.

Impatiently.

As soon as my toast was done, I slid his step stool over by the counter so he could put the waffle in the toaster himself. (Because if we have the nerve to do something that Max wants to do by himself, then Max will freak out, undo whatever was done and then do it again himself. I've just found it easier to avoid the battles by planning ahead)

As Max went to put his waffle in the toaster he says;

"IT'S HOT! THE TOASTER IS HOT! YOU ALSO NEED TO MAKE IT COLD! I ALSO NOT CAN PUT MY WAFFLE IN THERE WHEN IT'S HOT!

MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
(said while jumping up and down)

I told him that he could still put the waffle in the toaster even if it was hot.

"NO! I ALSO NOT CAN PUT IT IN UNTIL IT'S COLDER!"

I finish buttering my toast and start to walk away.

Max follows.

"MAKE IT COLDER! IT'S ALSO TOO HOT! WITH I NOT CAN PUT MY WAFFLE IN THERE WHEN IT'S HOT."

Now he's pulling on my shirt.

"PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSEEE!!"

(Max is always polite, even when he's screaming at the top of his lungs)

I tell him "No, Max, there's nothing I can do to make it cool off faster. Why don't you go blow on it the way you do with your mac n cheese to cool it off"

"I NOT CAN DO THAT!!"

"Max, it's been a few minutes, I bet the toaster has cooled off by now. Lets go put your waffle in it."

Max calmed down a bit, stepped up on the stool and stared at the toaster.

"It's not colder. It's still hot."

I felt the toaster. It was slightly warm but definitely not hot. I told him to go ahead and put the waffle in the toaster.
The poor frozen waffle was quite thawed by now. And smashed too.

Max put the waffle in and then felt the top of the toaster with his finger.

"IT NOT DID COOL OFF!! IT'S STILL HOT! MAKE IT COLDER! MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!"

Then he took the waffle out of the toaster and waved it in my direction. It flopped back and forth as he said

"MAKE IT COLDER!!!"

I asked him if he wanted me to put the waffle in but he explained that he needed to do it himself.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I ALSO NEED TO PUT THE WAFFLE IN THE TOASTER!!!"

Right then I got a phone call from Aaron's Cub scout leader. She wanted to remind me that I had signed up to bring the treats for pack meeting next week and let me know that we should plan for about 60-65 people.............

And the whole time she was talking and I was trying to listen to her, all I could really hear was


MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!
MAKE IT COLDER!

Somehow, CJ was able to convince him to let him put the waffle in. After it popped up, Max brought the waffle to me "It's hot! It's hot! It's hot!.........I need my plate. I need my plate I need my.............NOT THAT ONE, I WANTED THE YELLOW PLATE!"

After he sat down and ate his waffle, his mood improved dramatically.

I can't wait until tomorrow. I've been trying to think of a way to convince him that he can't eat a waffle because they are all gone.

He just ate the last one.

I just found out that we're out of milk too. It's going to be a fun morning.

Seriously, this tantrum was almost as strange as time he was yelling at the toilet because it wasn't flushing fast enough.

Word Verification Wednesday!

Yes kids, It's that time of week again!

Word Verification Wednesday!!

It's time to give definitions to those strange jumbled letters that some of us mean bloggers make you all type before leaving a comment!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, go here and here and be sure to read the comments.

This week, Damama came up with a new category of defining the words which she calls a Max-ism. For example;

W.V.: LATSTIC - Max-ism: Also my big boy underwares have latstic in them.

Bonus points to anyone who can come up with a Max-ism. The word "also" must be used in the definition/sentence.

Please remember that this is not a competition, but an exhibition. Please, no wagering.
(bonus points to anyone who can tell me where that was from. If you know, you're probably as tired as I am)

The rules are still the same.

1. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined. Please keep in mind that my kids read my blog.
2. You must use the ACTUAL word, no altering the word (unless it makes it funnier, then it's OK)
But then again, if you changed the word, how would anyone know? We'll just have to use the honor system for this one. OK?
(You can, however, refresh the page as many times as you want to get a word that you like.)
3. And yes Jo, there is still no mocking of the other contestants. (or me)

All of you have given some really funny and well thought out definitions, and for that, I thank you!


There you have it kids!

Go forth and define!!

And now for the rest of the story.........

About 5 years ago, CJ had put a toothpick in his pocket and it somehow jabbed into his leg. He didn't bother telling us about it until several days later when it had become quite infected.

DH took him to the doctor, who upon closer examination, discovered a chunk of the toothpick still lodged in his leg.

The doctor removed the piece of toothpick and then used a special syringe with a large cup on the end to clean out his injury by flushing it with water and then put a band-aid on it and sent him home.

On their way home from the doctor, they stopped and picked up the antibiotic prescribed by the doctor.

As soon as they got home, CJ took his first dose of antibiotic, then went to his room.
A while later CJ came into the kitchen where I was fixing dinner.

He didn't look quite right. His face looked somewhat flushed, and upon closer examination, he had some sort of a rash on his cheek.

I didn't think much of it, and CJ got a snack then went back to his room.
A while later when we sat down to dinner, I looked at CJ again. Not only was the rash worse, but it had spread to the other side of his face, and there was a spot on his forehead and on his chin.

Since this rash had appeared and spread so quickly, we just assumed that it was caused by the antibiotic. We kept asking CJ if he was feeling OK, if he was having any trouble breathing or any other common symptoms of an allergic reaction to an antibiotic.

He just kept telling us that he felt fine. and other than the rash, he looked and acted just fine.
I then asked him if he had this rash anywhere else. He lifted up his shirt, and the rash was all over his stomach.
Now at this point I was way past concerned and bordering on panic. I was about to call the doctor, but asked CJ one more time if he had this rash anywhere else because I knew that the doctor would want to know this.

He slid up the leg of his shorts to show me the rash that was on his leg.


The rash had covered his leg. Big blotchy patches of red.



Then I noticed something peculiar about the rash. Around each blotch of red rash was a perfect red circle.


A circle the exact size of the cup on the end of the syringe.

Which he had just taken out of his pocket.


Yes, while I was freaking out, ready to take my son to the hospital for an allergic reaction to an antibiotic.................



My son was giving himself hickies on his face, tummy and legs with a syringe.

OK! I'LL FINALLY DO A TAG!

Today I was going to post another song by Max.

Unfortunately, he fell asleep at the dinner table and was unavailable for us to bribe him with chocolate to make him sing.

So, instead of hearing that angelic little voice again, I'm going to do a tag!

Here it is, seven of my quirks. (and believe me, I had to think for hours to come up with these)

1. I put sugar on tomatoes. I didn't realize that this was strange until I got married and my husband told me it was strange. My entire family eats sliced tomatoes sprinkled with sugar. (now if you haven't tried it you should. Totally delicious!) I also put salt on apples and cantaloupe.

2. If I put something somewhere, it drives me  absolutely CRAZY if someone comes along and moves it. Seriously people! Don't be moving my things around! (Now that I think about it, that might explain some of Max's OCD like behavior.)

3. I love the smell of a diesel truck. My dad was a truck driver, and this reminds me of him.

4. I talk to myself in the car. I wasn't aware that I did this until Brielle pointed it out to me a few  weeks ago.  I've recently noticed Max doing this too. 

I have an uncle who talks to himself all the time. He said it was because he was the only intelligent conversation he could find.

5. I can never remember if I've closed the garage door, so I either drive around the block to make sure it's closed (it always is) or I keep asking the kids "Did I close it? Are you sure you closed it? Are you really sure? Did you actually see it go down, or are you just telling me that so I'll stop asking?"

6. I like liver.

7. I don't like to have any of my food touch on my plate. There are certain food categories that just shouldn't mix. I was fed from a divided plate as a child, and apparently I never got over it.

And there you have it, my very first tag!

I don't tag anyone, because really, I don't think people will actually do this unless they are seriously desperate for ideas to write about because for some reason they had this hair brained idea that they could do NaBloPoMo and actually post every day for an entire month and come up with something interesting to write about during that time.................

Or was that just me?

Santa. Fears, photos and phonies

Every year at this time I want to get a cute picture of my kids with Santa.
I think I've only had one good picture where all of my kids are smiling and look happy to be there.

When CJ was a baby, it was no problem. We just plopped him on Santa's lap, they snapped the picture and that was that. (He was only 3 months old)

The next year, he looked a little concerned, but the picture was different.

Two years later, Brielle was 9 months old and CJ was three.
Brielle is sitting nicely on Santa's lap and CJ is standing about 3 feet away, looking sideways at Santa with a look of confusion on his face.

Still, he never screamed.

The following year, CJ went eagerly up to Santa so he cold tell him what he wanted for Christmas. He hopped up on his lap, then I sat Brielle on his other knee, and she had a complete meltdown.
The girl in the elf costume behind the camera kept trying to get her to smile, but she just screamed louder.

And louder.

And the girl just kept trying. "Come on sweetie. Smile. Be a happy girl. Smile."

Brielle just screamed louder.

Finally I said "Just take the picture!"

Elf girl says "But she's not smiling."

I say "JUST HURRY AND TAKE THE PICTURE!!!"

I must have scared ditsy elf girl because she went ahead and snapped the picture.

Right as the picture was being taken, Brielle had lifted her arms straight above her head in an effort to escape from Santa by sliding out under his arm. Santa tightened his grip just in time to keep her from falling on the floor but unfortunately only caught her around the neck as she was sliding off his lap.

So,

What we got was a picture of CJ sitting very nicely on Santa's lap with a big smile on his face, while Brielle's face was beet red from screaming and from Santa's arm being practically around her throat.

(He wasn't really choking her, it just looked like it in the photo. She was fine, and has not seemed to have suffered any ill effects from the experience)

We didn't really have any unfortunate Santa photos for many years after that. (Aaron has never been afraid of Santa. Santa brings him toys, what's scary about that?)

Until last year.
We went to Disneyland and California Adventure during the first week of December. Santa was in California Adventure wearing bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.
I tried to sit Max on his lap and he screamed grabbed my hair with both hands and tried to climb up my face. (Max did that, not Santa)
Santa was really nice, he told Max that he could just stand in front of him, he didn't need to sit on his lap, and Mom could stand next to them, but Max wasn't buying it.
Instead of a cute picture of Max sitting on Santa's lap, we have a picture of me standing several feet away from Santa holding Max who looks terrified and is screaming at the top of his lungs while Santa is sitting on a surfboard giving us the "hang loose" sign.

Good times.

Today I was thinking about my experiences with Santa when I was a child.

Like the Santa at JC Penny's who had REALY bad breath. And black eyebrows. Seriously a Santa with black eyebrows and a white beard and hair.
And bad breath. He should have tried eating one of those candy canes that he was handing out. Really, it couldn't have made his breath any worse.

The most memorable one was when I was about 4. We were at our family's Christmas party, and I noticed that my great aunt and uncle snuck out the front door.
About ten minutes later, my aunt and Santa Clause walked IN the front door.

Together.

And Santa was wearing my uncle's boots.

So either Santa and my great aunt had tied up my great uncle with Christmas lights and Santa had stolen his boots,
or,
It was my great uncle dressed up as Santa.

All of my cousins were stampeding toward "Santa."
Me? I wasn't buying it.
So when it was my turn to sit on his lap and tell him what I wanted for Christmas I said "You're not Santa. You're uncle Ivan. I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"
He just laughed, threw in a few "Ho, Ho, Ho"s and said "No, I really am Santa!" (Adding a few more "Ho, Ho, Ho"s)
"No" I said. "You are uncle Ivan. You sound like him and you're wearing his boots! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

You know how sometimes when you say or do something as a child that nobody lets you forget? A few years ago at a family reunion, my great uncle Ivan retold that story. (But I was right wasn't I? It really was him, and I knew it was him.) He said how I just kept repeating "I know who you are! I know who you are!"

At least I didn't lick all the dirt of of a bunch of twigs when we were camping like my cousin did when we were little. That's a story I enjoy telling to her kids..........


And to continue with the still a little early for Christmas theme of my post today, here is a way for you to save money on gifts this Christmas time.

How to spend $100 on a spool of thread

1. Have a sewing project that needs to be finished the next day.

2. Sit down at the sewing machine and discover that you are out of red thread.

3. Look at the clock. It says 9:02 p.m. The fabric stores have just closed.

4. That's OK, they sell thread at Wal Mart, so you get in the car and drive over there.

5. Go straight to the sewing department and get a spool of red thread.

7. Walk past the notions isle and remember that your seam ripper broke a few days ago so you pick up a new one.

8. Buy some pins too because one can never have too many pins.

9. As you are walking towards the checkout stand, get a call from your husband, who tells you that you're out of milk, and could you buy some more.

10. Go get a cart because you don't want to carry the cold jugs of milk around the store.

11. Walk past a display filled with cinnamon scented pine cones. Imagine how nice and festive they will make the house smell. Pick up a bag of those.

12. Walk through the produce department. Buy some zucchini to make more zucchini bread.

13. Walk through the bakery department. They have cookies. You look at your two favorite kinds of cookies and can't decide what kind to get.

14. Buy two different kinds of cookies.

15. Finally get to the dairy department and see that the milk is on sale. Get 4 gallons.

16. Remember that you're out of butter. Put some butter in the cart.

17. Start to walk to the check stand, and see the kids clothes. SOCKS! Your toddler needs socks. go get a package.

18. Remember that your niece's birthday is next week. Go to the toy department and find the noisiest, most annoying toy that you can, and put it in the cart.

19. Giggle as you walk away, thinking of how annoyed your brother will be having to listen to this toy.

20. Suddenly feel sorry for your SIL and go back to the toy department to get something less obnoxious.

21. Shampoo! you're out of shampoo! Go get some.

22. The spray gel is on sale. Buy two.

23. And a new brush because someone borrowed yours and lost it.

24. Walk through the isles with the Christmas decorations. See a wreath that would look great on the front door. Put that in the cart too.

25. Go get in the shortest check stand line.

26. The lady in front of you has a coupon for everything. This gives you time to look at all of the nifty items they have for sale right there.

27. Get an umbrella to keep in the car because last week you got caught in the rain without one.

28. Get another umbrella because they're only $2.00 each!

29. The lady in front of you is trying desperately to use her debit card, but can't remember her PIN.

30. Toss some nail clippers in your basket.

31. The lady in front of you is now counting out $48.00 in fives, ones, quarters, dimes nickles and pennies.

32. Grab a package of Tic Tacs and a tube of Chap Stick.

33. Finally get through the check stand and haul all of your purchases out to the car.

34. Drive home wondering how you just spent over $100.00 when all you came for was a spool of thread.


I guess it was a really good thing that when I sat down to sew and discovered that I needed red thread, it was only 8:00p.m. and the fabric store was still open;0)

But I still had to drive over to the grocery store later to get some milk.

My kids are weird

That's pretty much it.

My kids are weird.

Vegetable cake

In yet another attempt to get Max to ingest a vegetable, I came up with a new plan.

Today I would make zucchini bread.

I had a few zucchinis in the fridge and decided that they weren't really going anywhere so I searched online for a recipe.

I found one that sounded really good and printed it off.

It said that the prep time was 15 minutes and baking time 60-70 minutes.

Now I realize that the prep times on the recipe are highly optimistic and probably determined by someone in a very tidy test kitchen who not only has all of the ingredients right in front of them and doesn't need to search through the closet to find the other bottle of vanilla because the first one ran out and someone put it back instead of throwing the empty bottle away, and they most likely had all of their bowls, dishes, spoons and utensils sitting right in front of them all clean and shiny so they didn't have to hand wash them due to the fact that even though someone did their job and put the dishes in the dishwasher last night, they didn't bother to turn it on and the test kitchen people probably didn't have a toddler in the room with them..........
So I figured that to be more realistic, I would allow closer to 30-40 minutes to mix up the batter.

I look at the clock. It is 9:30 a.m. I figure that by 11:30, I would be enjoying a nice warm slice of zucchini bread.

The recipe said it made 2 loaves, and I decided that I should double it because I have this theory on cooking.

"It should take longer to eat it than it takes to make it."

This is the reason why I double recipes. Six dozen cookies will last much longer than three dozen cookies.

Am I right?

I watched an episode of Martha Stewart once where she spent like 3 hours making 6 cookies.
She carefully mixed up and rolled out the dough.
She took a leaf which she had carefully hand picked from her yard and then thoroughly cleaned
and laid it gently on top of the dough which had been rolled out to a thickness of exactly 1/4 of an inch. She then took a sharp knife and very precisely cut out the dough using the leaf as a pattern. Next, she took the back of the knife and very artistically drew in the veins of the leaf in the top of the dough.
She placed two cookies on each cookie sheet (they were large) and baked them.
After she took them out of the oven, while they were still warm, she gently lifted them off of her silpat lined cookie sheet and draped them over a large tube so that when the cookie cooled, it would be curved.
Just like a real leaf.
Then she took a pastry bag and with perfectly tinted icing, outlined the veins in the leaf cookies.

In comparison, at our house, we make drop cookies, and we don't give the cookies the luxury of cooling off before we eat them.
Besides, chocolate chips smear all over your face much easier if they're still warm.

When I got out the mixer, Max became rather interested.

He LOVES the mixer.

"Whatcha doing mom?"
"I'm making a special treat for you."
"Oh, are you also making me cookies?"
"No, I'm making some special bread."

I discovered that I needed to wash the bowl to my mixer, the measuring cups and spoons and the grater. I hand washed everything then I got out the ingredients and peeled and grated the zucchini as it said to in the recipe.
Max watched me measure a few ingredients, and then he became rather inquisitive.

"Mom, why you putting the eggs in it?'
"Mom, why did you also drop the egg on the floor?"
"Mom, why did it make a mess?"
"Mom, are you also cleaning up the mess?"
"Mom, why you are throwing away that egg from the floor? Is it also gross?"
"Mom, what's that white stuff?"
"Why you also putting that brown stuff in it?"
"Mom, why you also have to mix it?"..............

"Mom, what's that stuff?"

I was dumping in the zucchini.

"Max" I said "This stuff is SO delicious! It's called zucchini, and it tastes like candy!"

I have to admit that this was not the first time that I fibbed to one of my kids about the taste of zucchini.
I once told CJ that Zucchini tasted like chocolate.

He believed me.

He ate some.

He has never forgiven me.


Seriously CJ, it happened TEN YEARS AGO!


GET. OVER. IT!

I finish mixing everything together and realize that there's way too much batter to fit into my four small loaf pans.
I re read the recipe to discover that it will fill two large loaf pans not two small ones.

Shoot.

I fill the four small loaf pans.

And two round cake pans.

And a pie tin.

I manage to get them all stuffed into the oven and I set the timer.

Then I look at the clock. It's 11:30. So much for the 30 minute prep time. I get a pen and write on the recipe "15 minutes? Don't count on it. Allow two hours!"

50 minutes later, I take the bread out of the oven. (since the pans were smaller I felt the cooking time should be shorter. Plus, it was smelling really good and I couldn't wait to get a taste!)

It was great! The texture was really light, it was more like cake than bread. I ate a slice, then Max came over and asked for some.

HE LOVED IT!

He ate 4 big slices!

I finally got him to eat a vegetable!

OK, I realize that it was hidden within a cake like substance, but still, he ate a vegetable.
And a GREEN one at that!

When the kids got home from school, they were met with the lovely aroma of the zucchini bread. The boys snarfed down as much as they could, as fast as they could, but Brielle wouldn't touch any because "I won't eat cake with a vegetable in it!"

I might re name the recipe "Vegetable cake."

Word Verification Wednesday!

Hey kids! What time is it?

It's time to play EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME!!


DEFINE THAT WORD VERIFICATION WORD!!!!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, here's how to play.

1. Go to the comment form.
2. Look at the jumbled letters and try to read them.
3. If they resemble any sort of word whatsoever, leave the word with your idea of it's definition in the comments!

It's just that easy!!!!

If you want to see examples, please go here. (Especially the comments. Really, READ THE COMMENTS! You won't be sorry!)

As always, please remember to follow the rules, which are;

1. Nothing rude, crude or unrefined. Please keep in mind that my kids read my blog.
2. You must use the ACTUAL word, no altering the word (unless it makes it funnier, then it's OK)
3. No mocking of the other contestants. (or me)


I've also decided that you may use words that you have seen while leaving comments on other blogs.
When you see a good WV word, write it down and save it, I plan on doing this every Wednesday!

You are not required to use the first word you get. Refresh as many times as you want!

You may play as many times as you wish. The more times the better!
(seriously, I got 56 comments last week. My self esteem was at an all time high)

I will run the game until Wednesday night.
Check back often to read all the comments. If it's anything like last week, it will be great!

You can tell how excited I am for this by the number of exclamation points I have just used!!

HEY! WE WON'T HAVE TO SEND HIM TO MILITARY SCHOOL!!!

Last week at school CJ took a survey to see what types of careers he would be best suited for.

He was quite excited to find that his career recommendations included things such as;

Computer hardware designer
CJ is our resident computer expert. He can figure out anything with my computer. Except how to get my Photoshop back. But then again, we've had that version of Photoshop longer than we've had CJ.

Artificial intelligence specialist
When CJ was younger, he had plans of building a robot that would clean his room for him. And instead of cleaning his room, he wanted to sit in his messy room and think about his magical room cleaning robot, and when we told him to get up and clean his room, he would say that we were just keeping him from inventing his robot that would clean his room for him.
I think he was just trying to get out of cleaning his room.

Biochemist
He has always loved mixing baking soda and vinegar together.
Diet coke and Mentos interest him too.

Roller coaster designer
What kid wouldn't want to do this? Someday I should post the picture of CJ riding the little roller coaster at Legoland. The look of sheer terror on his face is really quite sad.............and a little amusing.

Acoustical engineer
See the video I posted yesterday. CJ did all of the vocals and beat boxing himself.
No, I don't get the video either. What can I say, he's 13.

Mechanical engineer
or
Electrical engineer
When he was younger, he liked to take apart small appliances and use the parts to make different "inventions" Fortunately his grandpa kept him supplied with old cassette tape players and radios for his projects.

Computer animator
We have some computer animation software on my computer and he is teaching himself animation.

Perfumer
This one has me a bit baffled. However, if he could design a perfume that would counteract the aroma of flatulence, I would be incredibly grateful.
One of our kids (who will not be named) is extremely gassy.


While I think that CJ would be highly qualified for any of these career paths, today he took a quiz that makes me think of a different profession that he would be highly qualified for.

"What profession is that?" you might ask.






Kindergarten teacher




Seriously.


You might also be thinking that it's a bit of a stretch to go from Computer hardware designer or Biochemist to a kindergarten teacher, however if you look at the results of the quiz, you will understand why.









29

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

I'm SO proud!!









I think.


Seriously, I only scored 20. Aaron scored 25 and he's only eight.


Go ahead and take the quiz and leave your score in the comments.

Because, apparently, my children have nothing better to do

Alternate title #1. Second lame post attributed to NaBloPoMo.
Alternate title #2. I knew I would regret getting him that YouTube account.
Alternate title #3. Warning! Extreme whining ahead.
Alternate title #4. Why do you keep asking if it's that time of the month?


Today, my computer genius son decided to take an iPod commercial and do this to it.



(Yeah, I'm sure no copyright laws were broken with that one)

He says he "probably" didn't have any homework to do.

I'm sorry guys, I tried to think of a really great post, but I got nothin.

Nada.

Probably because I'm INCREDIBLY irritated right now.

"Why?" do you ask?

Mostly because of a client I'm dealing with right now who I have decided will never be happy.

NEVER!

Those kind of people are really hard to please.

Anyway, it's a problem that has made me a bit grumpy.
And to top it all off, all of the good candy is gone in the last of the Halloween candy.

And "FOR HEAVEN SAKES, IF THE DISHES ARE STILL DIRTY WHEN YOU PULL THEM OUT OF THE DISHWASHER, DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT PUT THEM AWAY IN THE CABINETS!!"

And "WHEN YOU PUT THE DISHES AWAY, PLEASE TRY TO PUT THEM SOMEPLACE WHERE I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A REMOTE CHANCE OF FINDING THEM!!!"

And "THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS IS NOT A DUMPING PLACE FOR DIRTY CLOTHES!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT THEM UNDER YOUR BED WITH THE REST OF THEM!!"

And "I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR SOCKS ARE! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!"

OK, maybe I should just complain about a few more things, like the brush in the nail polish. Have you ever noticed that it doesn't reach to the bottom of the bottle? Even when I tip it, I can't get all of it. I know they do that so you will buy more polish sooner because you can't get what's left in the bottom. Not that I'm wearing polish on my nails, I putting it on the hole in the toe of the BRAND NEW PANTYHOSE that I ran this morning. And tipping the bottle of nail polish trying to get the last bit out while at the same time balancing on one foot while the other is on the edge of the tub can be a potentially dangerous situation.

And one more thing, if there's a line at the food sample table at Costco, DO NOT butt in front of me!! I DON'T CARE if you know the lady giving the sample, cutting in line is rude, and you really shouldn't get between me and a sample of hot apple crisp anyway.

I will give you a stern look and think bad things about you.

And that extra large sample of hot apple crisp with a scoop of ice cream that the lady gave you because she knows you?

It's going straight to your butt my friend.

Straight. To. Your. Butt.



OK, I'll give you a few Max quotes to make up for all the whining.

#1.
Me: "Max, tomorrow, we're going to the doctor so they can check your height.
Max: "Are they going to cut it off?"
Me: "Cut what off?"
Max: "My height."

#2.
"Why am I a boy? Is it also because I don't have a purse? Are you a girl because you have a purse?"

Reason # 87 for why my kids will need therapy

We went to the store yesterday. This is how it went.

Me: "Max We're going to buy you a new pillow"
Max: "Why I need a new pillow?"
Me: "Because you threw up on it."
Max: "Oh, is it also gross?"
Me: "Yes Max, it's also gross."

We pick out a pillow and put it in the cart.

Me: "There Max, we're getting this pillow, and this one is washable."
Max: "Is my new pillow washyble? Why am I also get a new pillow?
Me: "Why ARE you getting a new pillow?"
Max: "Because the old one is also gross, and the new one is washyble."

We go over to the dairy area and put some milk in the cart.

(now, before I go on, I need to explain that Max really LOVES chocolate milk. If I buy a gallon he has me sit it next to him in the seat of the shopping cart and he hugs it and pats it all through the store. "Oh chokwit milk. I love you chokwit milk.
After we get home and put it in the fridge, Max will stand guard in front of the fridge, and if anyone dares open the door, he lets them know in no uncertain terms that "THAT'S MY CHOCKWIT MILK! YOU ALSO NOT DRINK MY CHOCKWIT MILK!!!"
He will, from time to time, allow one of his siblings to have some of the milk, but only if they are very nice to him, and he's in a really good mood.)

Max: "GET THE BROWN MILK! I ALSO NEED SOME CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN ONE! GET THE BROWN ONE!"

I was a bit hesitant to get the chocolate milk, because Max hasn't been feeling well, and I didn't want him to throw it up.

Max: "Please a please a please a please! PLEASE I NEED THE CHOKWIT MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK! GET THE BROWN MILK!"
Me: "No Max, remember what happened the last time you were sick and had egg nog?"
Max: "I not like egg nog! The egg nog went uuuuuup, out of my mouth, and down on the carpet! I NOT like egg nog"
Me: "I don't want that to happen with the chocolate milk."

We start to walk away from the milk.

Max: "GO BACK! GO BACK! GO GET THE BROWN MILK! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE! PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSEEEEEE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

We walk several isles away and Max is showing no signs of stopping.

Brielle: "Mom, can't you get him to be quiet? He's really embarrassing me."

OK, now THIS I find rather amusing, because apparently, she doesn't seem to remember the MANY times that she did things to embarrass me.

So I laugh.



LOUDLY.

For a long time.

Brielle: (hissing quietly) "Mom, stop it! Now YOU are embarrassing me."

I laugh harder and louder, because this is getting funnier.

So basically we have...............

Max: "MOM! GET THE BROWN MILK! GO BACK AND GET THE BROWN MILK! PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A! I NEEEEEEED THE BROWN MILK!"
Brielle: "MOM! MAKE HIM STOP! HE'S TOO LOUD! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING! STOP LAUGHING! IT'S EMBARRASSING! STOP HIM MOM! PEOPLE ARE LOOKING!!!"
Aaron: "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?......... WHAT'S SO FUNNY? .......WHAT'S SO FUNNY? ........WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"

Me: "Max, you will not get what you want by screaming. You need to calm down. I think we need to do some anger management. Let's all do it together."

We all lift our arms above our heads while taking a deep breath. We then lower our hands while exhaling s...l...o...w...l...y.
Repeated three times.

Max has calmed down. His face is red and blotchy, but he has stopped screaming. We walk around and get the rest of our groceries and start to go towards the check out stand when he starts again.
"PLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEE!! PLLLEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE!
PLEASE A PLEASE A PLEASE A............."

Me: "Tell you what Max, if you sing "lights" for me, I will go back and get some chocolate milk."
Max: "I not sing Lights. I also sing my preschool song."

(If you didn't see the post where Max sings Lights, I suggest that you click on that link. You won't be disappointed)

I decided to allow the song substitution and we walked back toward the milk as he sang.....

Today is a wonderful day,
For I am going away.
Not to the circus,
Not to the pool,
I am going to my preschool.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
Tra la la la la
tra la la la.
I am going to my preschool.

We got to the milk case just as he finished.

He was giddy with excitement!

I reached in the case and got.................


a half gallon of chocolate milk.

Only a half gallon.

Max: "I NOT DID WANT THE SMALL ONE! I ALSO DID WANT THE BIG ONE! GET THE BIG CHOCOLATE MILK! NOT THE SMALL ONE!!

Me: "Max, that's too much milk, and besides you didn't sing Lights like I wanted.
Max: "Please get the big chocolate milk! pleeeeaaaassse!!"
Me: "You can have the small one, or none. What's your choice?"
Max "I want the big one!"

I have Aaron put the milk back and we start to walk away. Max starts crying again "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH..........WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN IN THE CITY, AAAAAAAHHHHH AND THE SUN SHINES ON THE BAAAAAAYYY.......AAAAAHHHHHH"

It was really quite sad, listening to him sing and cry at the same time.

Poor Max.



I got the big chocolate milk.




(and please don't tell me that I shouldn't have bought the milk. You weren't there)

All about Steve

Max admires three guys named Steve.

First, there's this Steve.





Max has the # to his iPhone.







Then there's this Steve.





Because what three year old doesn't like to play Blue's clues?
Max even has his own handy dandy notebook and red thinking chair.

"We just figured out Blue's clues, we just figured out Blue's clues, we just figured out Blue's clues, because we're really smart!"

And then finally, there's this guy named Steve.



Vocals by Max ;0)

You guessed it...............or not.

Here it is! The post you've all been waiting for!

The answers to "What on earth did Max draw?"


Sketch #1.

Sorry, nobody even came close to guessing this one correctly.
It is a spider. See the eight legs protruding from it's large head?
I'm not sure why it has ears.
The really cool thing about this spider, is if you turn it upside down, it has a huge smile on it's face!
Max draws a ton of these pictures where it's a frowny face and you turn it upside down to get a smiley face.
This way he can sing the "If you chance to meet a frown" song over and over and over and over.......

(And you wouldn't believe how many times people google the phrase "If you chance to meet a frown" and end up on my blog. It's mind boggling.)

If you look closely, there is a circle above the spider's right eye. Max said that this is the spider's waist.




Picture #2.

Damama came the closest to guessing this one when she said "Dishes and food on a placemat. "

This is actually a picture of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can totally see the peanut butter and jelly on the pieces of bread. What you can't see is how carefully he spread the peanut butter and jelly with the crayon. (seriously, it took him FOREVER!) And today when he was having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch he needed to have this picture to look at while he was eating.




Picture #3.

Bonnie came the closest by guessing "his cars in a parking lot?"

This, believe it or not, is a garbage truck. (Or as it tends to be pronounced at our house "gwrarbage) See the tires on the big blob? See the three garbage cans at the bottom (two regular cans and one recycle)
If you look closely you can see the garbage can grabber thing on the side of the truck.


Picture #4.

Lisaway came remarkably close to getting this one. She said "a kid who ate too much candy vomiting into a toilet bowl, with the lid up."

Max was sick yesterday, and he drew a picture of himself throwing up in the toilet with the lid up. What I love most about this picture is how he's smiling while he's throwing up. It looks like he's probably losing his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or at least the jelly. The spikey hair is kind of cute too.

What he didn't draw was a picture of himself throwing up on the carpet and two blankets.




And for the bonus mystery phrase.


Lola came the closest by saying "it is Also a Pumpkin, that did also poop in it's pants, and also needs its cars taken away."

Yes, he was talking about the moldy pumpkin, but the exact phrase was

"BAD PUMPKIN"

Apparently he reads his words from top to bottom.


Honorable mention goes to Aunty Em who guessed "puking bat" because the letters are pretty darn close to where he threw up on the carpet.

That concludes my post on interpreting toddler art.
Thank you for playing!!