Sunday, November 9, 2008

Because, apparently, my children have nothing better to do

Alternate title #1. Second lame post attributed to NaBloPoMo.
Alternate title #2. I knew I would regret getting him that YouTube account.
Alternate title #3. Warning! Extreme whining ahead.
Alternate title #4. Why do you keep asking if it's that time of the month?


Today, my computer genius son decided to take an iPod commercial and do this to it.



(Yeah, I'm sure no copyright laws were broken with that one)

He says he "probably" didn't have any homework to do.

I'm sorry guys, I tried to think of a really great post, but I got nothin.

Nada.

Probably because I'm INCREDIBLY irritated right now.

"Why?" do you ask?

Mostly because of a client I'm dealing with right now who I have decided will never be happy.

NEVER!

Those kind of people are really hard to please.

Anyway, it's a problem that has made me a bit grumpy.
And to top it all off, all of the good candy is gone in the last of the Halloween candy.

And "FOR HEAVEN SAKES, IF THE DISHES ARE STILL DIRTY WHEN YOU PULL THEM OUT OF THE DISHWASHER, DO NOT, AND I REPEAT DO NOT PUT THEM AWAY IN THE CABINETS!!"

And "WHEN YOU PUT THE DISHES AWAY, PLEASE TRY TO PUT THEM SOMEPLACE WHERE I MIGHT ACTUALLY HAVE A REMOTE CHANCE OF FINDING THEM!!!"

And "THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS IS NOT A DUMPING PLACE FOR DIRTY CLOTHES!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT THEM UNDER YOUR BED WITH THE REST OF THEM!!"

And "I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOUR SOCKS ARE! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!"

OK, maybe I should just complain about a few more things, like the brush in the nail polish. Have you ever noticed that it doesn't reach to the bottom of the bottle? Even when I tip it, I can't get all of it. I know they do that so you will buy more polish sooner because you can't get what's left in the bottom. Not that I'm wearing polish on my nails, I putting it on the hole in the toe of the BRAND NEW PANTYHOSE that I ran this morning. And tipping the bottle of nail polish trying to get the last bit out while at the same time balancing on one foot while the other is on the edge of the tub can be a potentially dangerous situation.

And one more thing, if there's a line at the food sample table at Costco, DO NOT butt in front of me!! I DON'T CARE if you know the lady giving the sample, cutting in line is rude, and you really shouldn't get between me and a sample of hot apple crisp anyway.

I will give you a stern look and think bad things about you.

And that extra large sample of hot apple crisp with a scoop of ice cream that the lady gave you because she knows you?

It's going straight to your butt my friend.

Straight. To. Your. Butt.



OK, I'll give you a few Max quotes to make up for all the whining.

#1.
Me: "Max, tomorrow, we're going to the doctor so they can check your height.
Max: "Are they going to cut it off?"
Me: "Cut what off?"
Max: "My height."

#2.
"Why am I a boy? Is it also because I don't have a purse? Are you a girl because you have a purse?"

18 comments:

Laura said...

Ok...for having nothing to say, you have me in stitches...OMG funny.

Love the video...love the curse to the line-budding-rude-lady...and simply got a kick out of your misfortunes...that is not wrong, is it??!?!!?

You also got a purse....he hee

Elizabeth said...

You are SO funny...you only say all the things that we are thinking. Also, Max makes my day!
Snorkie has started adding alsos to his sentences lately, also!

PS. Micsori: from the Latin(Pronunciation: Mike-sore-eye) blisters that occur on the hands of pop stars from holding the microphone too hard.

Annette Lyon said...

Just so you know, I've had "Lights" running through my head all day and all night for a couple of days now--I even wake up with it playing in my head. Sometimes it's the Steve version, sometimes that Max one.

Kristina P. said...

Oh, Jill. I love you. Even when you have "nothing" to say, your post is still longer than most of mine.

Jillene said...

Hahahaha!! That sounded like it was coming straight from my mouth!!

Threeundertwo said...

Your kids hide dishes too? What's with that?

Funny funny post.

Maraiya said...

Alternate title: Reason #87 why your children are driving you to need therapy.

Very good post though. You have a knack for making it all funny.

MamaHenClucks said...

Yeah, um, when I have nothing to say, I can't even make coherent sentences. You? You still make me laugh!

Aunty Em said...

Okay. That apple crisp is totally going to her butt.

Cute kids - they really do say the darndest things!

Jessica G. said...

Hey, I have an idea! You make fudge, I'll make cookies and then we can get together to whine BUT THERE WILL BE CHOCOLATE!

utmomof5 said...

Was there a point to that video and I am just to old to get it?

When we moved I found so many things that my kids put away in the absolute most random stupid places in my kitchen!! I think sometimes they do it just to annoy me for making them do a chore :)

Seriouly you could make a sitcom around the things that Max says!!

Oh and by the way -- I can no longer look at any word verifications with out thinking of you and wishing I had gotten that one during your game :)

Davis Family said...

My kids have taken to shoving popcorn behind a gaurd we have blocking the buttons on the TV which in turn makes using the remote nearly impossible because it then blocks the little reader thingie on the TV. My point? I don't really know...but what's with kids shoving junk in random places?

Hey It's Di said...

Your son is a genius on the computer. Maybe he should drop out of school;)

People should know better than to get in front of women and food. It's just not a good thing. I've been down lately too and I too blame it on the lack of good leftover Halloween candy. Where did the chocolate go?

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

I didn't know that was you I wash pushing out of the Apple Crisp and Ice Cream line! And you are right! It did go straight to my Butt, with the Halloween candy...and the plate of brownies that the neighbors brought today.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

At our house, the repeated exhortation is, "IF THERE IS SOMETHING LYING ON THE FLOOR OF YOUR BEDROOM, IT DOES NOT BELONG THERE! PICK IT UP!"

No one listens.

b. said...

I'm sorry for butting in front of you. And you're right...my butt IS like a half a cup larger than it was yesterday....

ps. you're funny!

Busty LaRue said...

You know, the problem with people when it comes to food is that they haven't learned John Pinette's lesson yet: "Grab and move!"

This post made me laugh very very hard. Thanks for brightening up my study break! :)

Damama T said...

Your kids are too funny. And I'm so glad that I'm not the only one speaking in all caps these days. LOL!