Tuesday, November 30, 2010

School Christmas program tutorial

Caution, major rant ahead.

It's that time of year when parents (and grandparents, and some very dedicated aunts and uncles) have the opportunity to attend various holiday themed programs at the schools of the children in their lives.
Having four children, we have had the opportunity to attend several such events over the years. The music and other performances are wonderful, however, due to our experiences, I have compiled a list of things to remember while attending such events.

If you are saving seats for some late arriving loved ones, please make sure that they are actually planning on attending, and that they know where you are. When there is standing room only at the back of the auditorium, it's rather annoying to see you saving 8 seats for people who never show up.

Also, your two year old/purse/coat can probably sit on your lap. There are sill people standing at the back.

When the director of the event asks you to scoot in to provide more room for those who are still standing, pick up your darn purse and coat and slide over!

While I'm sure that your young child is really enjoying that noisy toy that you brought to keep them entertained, the rest of us are not, especially when your child starts banging the toy on the metal chair.

When the director of the event stands and asks everyone to quiet down, please, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!

When your two young children start fighting and yelling at each other, disturbing people in every direction, please, don't ignore them, or laugh at their antics. When the lady sitting next to me tires of giving you the evil eye in hopes that you will get the hint and quiet or remove your children and finally says to your children "Please be quiet, we didn't come to hear you, we came to hear the kids sing" don't act all offended and irritated. Please, quiet and/or remove your children.

When your child's class is finished, and the next class begins, please realize that the parents of the next group will probably want to listen to their kids too. Be considerate.

Videotaping and photography

If you are filming the program, please do not stand up in the middle of the row. Please move to the side or the back. There may be someone behind you who is filming, or just wishes to see their child. Remember, you make a better door than a window as no one can actually see through you. If you choose to ignore this bit of advice, please, at least stand still so the person who might be filming behind you can see their child without having to dance back and forth and jump up and down. I will not treasure the video of the back of your head as much as I would a video of my child.

Please, remember that your younger child is not transparent either. Please do not let them stand on their chair. They aren't looking at the performance anyway, they are faced backwards, waving to all of the people who's view they are blocking.

If you see someone videotaping, please walk behind them, if you are unable to do this, either wait until they are finished filming, or if you walk in front of them, ducking to avoid blocking the view, please duck low enough that you are actually below their camera lens, otherwise, they will just get a video of you kind of ducking while walking in front of their camera. Again, I will not treasure the video of you imitating the hunchback of Notre Dame.

If everyone follows these common sense suggestions, we can all enjoy our children's Christmas programs!

And if everyone doesn't follow the above advice, I will go ahead and post all the video that I have of the back of peoples heads and the ducking hunchbacks.

Thank you.


Jessica G. said...

Jilly, I love you.
And I'm sorry but I didn't read your previous post...I have a really overactive gag reflex and got feeling a little sick just reading the title. But I will say that after a night of puking my guts out, my dad once gave me a certificate for achieving such great heights on the bathroom door without using my hands.

Karen said...

It's so sad that a normal person can't go out and enjoy normal events just because other people have no courtesy. I don't go to movies anymore just for that reason.

M-Cat said...

This needs to go in the PTA flier the week before all programs.

I LOVE not having to sit through those!

Mum-me said...

When I first read this bit "your two year old/purse/coat" silly me thought that you meant I COULD leave my bag on the seat if it was less than 2 years old ;)

I totally agree with everything you wrote - except you forgot a paragraph about mobile phone use being unacceptable.

Omgirl said...

It's surprising to me how many parents don't have the common sense to do those few basic things, especially keeping their kids quiet. I feel the same about church. If your kid is making such a racket that people near you are giving you the stink eye, there is no way YOU are able to hear what's going on, so take them out and give everyone else a chance to enjoy what's going on!

M said...

I think this should be required reading. Excellent rant.

Cheryl@Gingerbread Crafts said...

HAH! Love it.

A lot of this also translates for funerals, especially when you bring the Grandchild you are babysitting and then let it run amok.

Sandra said...

I also have four children. Good for you for taking the time to write these tidbits of info down.
Personally I hate attending those functions, would rather cut my toenails, so when I do have to go, I want all of your rules followed to a T!

Annette Lyon said...

Amen and amen.

myimaginaryblog said...

M-Cat is right, this needs to go in the PTA flyer. That only the conscientious parents read anyway. Well, never mind.